148
The first day of filming went without a hitch. I leveraged on my deep understanding of the script and my stellar acting skills to win everyone’s approving gazes.
Just as I was going swell with pride, Jiang Ran suddenly pulled close to my ear, unhurriedly saying, “Don’t forget to exercise when we get back. I’ll supervise you.”
!! Hatred instantly pierced through my bitter soul. I whipped my head only to see that there was even a faint smile hanging off the corners of his lips.
The hell, this supergay must have thought through his entire plan already.
How can I enter the trap like a lamb wandering into a tiger’s den?
149
On the van back to the hotel, Jiang Ran sat diagonally in front of me.
I watched him lean back into the seat with his arms folded across his chest, resting his eyes. I secretly snuck over, tentatively pushing his shoulder. “Jiang Ran?”
He didn’t respond.
The curtains on the van were partially drawn. The moonlight streaming in cast a sharp divide between light and shadows on his exquisite side profile.
I wavered for a few seconds, then prodded his shoulder again, saying, “Jiang Ran, look, you’re worn out too. Let’s call it off for today, alright?”
“No.” He coldly cut into my words.
“But…”
“No buts.” He slowly opened his eyes, turning over to look at me. “Don’t point fingers at me for not reminding you when you really get injured to the point that you’re no longer able to get out of bed.”
Screw off! Laozi’s illustrious lifelong reputation is of an elegant, unrestrained, handsome, confident, and person at ease with himself.
The way I see it, you’re the one who wants to make me unable to get out of bed for three days.
150
When back at the hotel, I dawdled behind him.
“Jiang Ran, I want to shower first.”
“No,” Jiang Ran solemnly said. “Exercise before you shower.”
“……” To me, his tone sounded just like a father handling his unruly child.
Who the eff do you think you are? Since when did laozi take such indignity lying down?
While I noisily cursed him in my head, Jiang Ran unexpectedly hooked on to my collar, more or less yanking me to the door of the private gym that came along with the presidential suite.
I never expected that this guy who looked like a refined young gentleman would actually go as far as to get fresh with me. I only felt my neckline pull tight, like I was a little kitten being grabbed by the scruff of my neck.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Hey! Are you frigging trying to choke me to death?”
P ibevis sbkifv lc gjuf. Vegf fcbeut, atf ugfja qtlibrbqtfgr bo atf qjra kfgf gluta. Tbe mjc’a pevuf j ybbx ys lar mbnfg.
Zs fcalgf ilof lr j vjwc agjufvs…
151
Aljcu Ejc ygbeuta wf ab atf usw, atfc mbwwjcvfv, “Gb sbeg kjgw-eqr. Vagfamt.”
I blinked, playing dumb as I said, “Stretch which muscle? Are you asking me to perform a rendition of ‘The Times Are Summoning’ to you?”
“……” Aljcu Ejc jirb ofii rlifca obg j ktlif. Llr fsfygbkr gbrf. “Tbe vbc’a wfjc atja sbe kjca wf ab afjmt sbe, vb sbe?”
Right after he said this, I immediately felt that salted pig trotter of his touch my waist.
“Piss off!” Startled, I reflexively raised my hand and slammed my elbow backwards.
I even seemed to hear a wham, and then—it suddenly occurred to me. Jiang Ran’s face, worth several cities, was bent out of shape by me.
I’m screwed, I’m so screwed. Now, I’m even more panicked, thinking to myself that I can’t even afford the damages even if I paid with my body…
As I stood rooted to the spot, not daring to make a move, Jiang Ran slowly spoke. “Mo Shuyao, your waist is too stiff. This won’t do.”
I turned my head back to see him with both hands stuck into his pockets. He looked perfectly serene.
You bastard, you actually managed to dodge, I got all worried about you for nothing.
Ticked. Off. Even saying that my waist’s too stiff.
152
I was about to burst into flames from rage. Desperate to be saved, I turned my gaze over to the treadmill and, with a thud, thud, thud, sprinted over.
Jiang Ran still wasn’t done with his slander. “What move was that just now? Womens self-defence?”
Screw off, I scolded in my head.
Seeing how he dodged my move from earlier in that skilled and leisurely manner, he most definitely has experience.
I scoffed disdainfully from the pits of my heart, muttering in a low voice, “To have dodged it so easily, you must have been given a beating many times before.”
“Hm?” I didn’t expect him to hear me, come closer and ask, “What did you say?”
153
“I said…”
But when I whipped my head over, I was completely caught off guard to see him standing right next to me. I immediately lost my voice in fright.
The corners of Jiang Ran’s mouth curled up. He reached over to press a button on the control panel of the treadmill.
The speed of the treadmill beneath my feet instantly rocketed off like a violent whirlwind.
“Hey!!” I roared in panic, yet found that Jiang Ran had both arms on the sidebars of the treadmill, squarely blocking my way out.
“You’re bleeping sick in the head!”
“Can you treat me then?” He gave a soft laugh, asking back at me.
AHHHH! I’m going to cry, I’ve never run so fast in my entire life.
Yo, I-I’m so high! I feel like I’ve already reached the peak of my life~ ♪
154
While I drifted off to seventh heaven, Jiang Ran spoke again, “Apologise to me and I’ll let you off.”
“Scram!” I loudly roared, “A scholar prefers death to humiliation!”
“From the looks of it, you want to go even faster?” Jiang Ran’s body leaned forward.
I watched that pig trotter of his reach over, hatefully saying in bitterness, “You bastard, aren’t you scared that I’ll take revenge on you?”
“Revenge? How so?”
I could almost hear him chuckle. My blood at once turned cold.
Incorrigible! I refuse to cower in the face of evil!
I spoke with stern righteousness. “Whatever you want to believe, I’m going to turn you into a spoof video!”
Jiang Ran paused. “A spoof…? What’s that?”
I was rendered speechless for a moment.
155
Thinking back to those years when I was the number one parody mashup bro on the broken platform and the happy comments filling my comment sections, I proudly puffed up my chest. “A spoof is something that can bring people happiness.”
“Since that’s so, how can you helping me to bring happiness to others be a form of revenge?”
“……” I said in my head, ‘Jiang Ran, are you sure you don’t have a signal blocker installed on your body. Are you really living in this age?’
Man. It really doesn’t feel good to bully the elderly.
156
After being tormented on the treadmill for an hour, Jiang Ran finally let the sweaty me go.
I rushed straight for the shower, then turned on my phone, impatiently scouring Jiang Ran’s dark history—that renowned dogblood mary sue TV drama.
As the metaphor goes, dramas of the same dogblood flock together. In Jiang Ran’s drama, I quickly found scenes of the same calibre as the notorious “you’re so seductive” scene by a certain guy surnamed Hong in response to the mistress wearing his wife’s perfume and wardrobe.
Naisu~ One parody mashup, coming right up!
AI face-changing; lvl 1,000,000 song dubbing; lvl 100,000,000 autotuning—I’ll give you the full menu!
I’ll let Jiang Ran have a taste of the seduction of the wife’s wardrobe.
Since you’re chasing a thrill, you might as well go all out~
157
After cutting videos for half an hour, I began to feel my muscles ache.
Sigh. Laozi’s waist can’t hold up anymore.
[fat otaku tears.jpg]
158
Forget it. Anyway, I’m no longer counting on parody mashups to build up a family fortune.
With that thought, I tossed myself into bed with an oomph.
Kill the mockingbird; it’s still more comfy to be a cuckoo~
159
However, once lying in bed, I still felt grudging at the thought of Jiang Ran’s abominable conduct.
Film Emperor Jiang Ran’s acting technique from three years back was rather unremarkable. When put together with that village shama-te wash-cut-blow-dried hairstyle…
Hur hur. One set of memes, coming right up!
I took screenshots in a mad frenzy, photoshopped images in a mad frenzy, diligently crafting every picture with the deep love that I, a number one bro of parody mashups, gave to my videos.
Seeing the memes of Jiang Ran filling my photo library, I smiled in satisfaction.
I must find the perfect opportunity to challenge you to three hundred rounds of a meme face-off, letting the whole world know that before Jiang Ran became famous, he had acted in this sort of sha, ma, te!
Hoho. Just wait for it.
Mo Shuyao is ready for war! Leave no stone unturned!
idk how I feel about the ML. While I find the MC hilarious, I find the ML pretty annoying…
thanks for the chapter <3
+1 i feel like we need to get to the point where MC starts to like ML before Jiang Ran becomes a fun character
That’s cause we are reading from the MC’s perspective, ah
thanks for the chapter ♡
Thank you for the chapter 🤍🤍🤍
… oh no that gallery will be the death of our mc…
Thanks for the chapter € ^ *^)/// ~~ ♡♡♡♡♡