translator: baumkuchen
It had to be said, Animal Planet was actually really interesting. After watching for a while with Bai Yuehu, Lu Qingjiu went to the kitchen to cook. Zhu Miaomiao would only be able to stay here for a few days before having to go back to work, so Lu Qingjiu wanted to make every meal a little richer, to let her eat everything she could.
The types of crops growing in the field were especially numerous in spring, with there being anything and everything. Lu Qingjiu cut the pumpkin he had brought back the previous day into pieces, then grinded it up and mixed it together with flour. He then placed sweetened bean paste in the middle and steamed it. After that, he coated it with a layer of bread crumbs and fried it on low heat. Their homeโs pumpkins already had a strong fragrance, and were both soft and sweet. After being fried, the taste became even better. The outside was crisp, when when you bit into it, hot steaming bean paste would leak out from the inside.
Just as Lu Qingjiu was placing the fried pumpkin pastries on a plate to cool, he saw Yin Xun rush in, hurried. Upon seeing him, he cried, โLu Qingjiu!โ
โWhatโs wrong?โ Lu Qingjiu asked.
Yin Xun said, โWeโve got a big problem!โ
Lu Qingjiuโs movements stilled. โA big problem? What is it?โ
Yin Xun said, โYour familyโs fox spirit is actually watching porn in the living room in broad daylight!!โ
Lu Qingjiu, โ……โ He looked at Yin Xun, his face reading โare you seriousโ.
Yin Xun reached out and grabbed a pumpkin pastry, took a bite, and nodded heavily. โOf course Iโm serious! Quickly go out and take care of it!โ
Lu Qingjiu quickly wiped his hands, wondering if Bai Yuehu had clicked on some paid channel. He hurried out of the kitchen, wanting to call out upon reaching the living room. But just as he arrived outside, before he could walk in, he heard a very familiar deep male voice: Spring is here, and it is mating season once moreโฆโฆย
Lu Qingjiu, โ……โ He seemed to have guessed something.
Sure enough, when Lu Qingjiu got a good look at the television screen, he saw two foxes mating. The male fox was draped over the female foxโs body, humping and humping, while Bai Yuehu was watching abnormally seriously with furrowed eyebrows.
Lu Qingjiu inexplicably felt a little embarrassed. Pretending to not have seen anything at all, he turned and left.
Yin Xun was still in the kitchen, decimating the pile of pumpkin pastries. His mouth was covered in bean paste. Upon seeing Lu Qingjiu return, he asked hurriedly, โHow is it, how is it, isnโt he watching porn!?โ
Lu Qingjiu said through gritted teeth, โHow is Animal Planet considered porn?โ
Yin Xun said, โIf itโs not porn, why is your face so red!โ
Lu Qingjiu, โMy face isnโt red!โ But when heโd seen Bai Yuehuโs expression just now, he had indeed felt a little embarrassed, but not to the point that his face turned redโฆโฆ Probably.
Yin Xun mercilessly exposed Lu Qingjiu, โCome on, your face is as red as a baboon’s ass right now.โ
Lu Qingjiu got angry. โJust eat your pumpkin pastry.โ
Yin Xun, โ……โ Are you adults all so easily angered by embarrassment?
In order to keep his pumpkin pastries, Yin Xun decided to learn to shut up. Lu Qingjiu fried the rest of the pastries, then, after he was done, went to the living room and saw that they now had another litter of fox kits. Sigh, he didnโt know whether when spring came again next year, if they would be able to hold back a bit, and not teach the children bad things.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Bai Yuehu asked, โThree years?โ
Zhu Miaomiao said, โYeah, they have to raise the little foxes. Of course, this is definitely very difficult. If the little foxesโ lives are unfortunately cut short, theyโll give birth to a new litter in the second year.โ As she spoke, she petted the little fox kit that was curled up on her lap and said, โAi, if not for the style of your fur, I would have thought that you were a little fox too, with that sharp little muzzle of yours.โ
The little fox kit, โ……โ Jiejie, can you only identify people by their fur?
Hearing this, a thoughtful expression appeared on Bai Yuehuโs face.
Zhu Miaomiao continued, โFoxes are all very smart. If it were any other animal living in the garbage dump, they might have already died by now.โ
Bai Yuehu said, โDo humans really like foxes?โ
Zhu Miaomiao, โYep, even though people think of foxes as very cunning, they also think that theyโre the embodiment of wisdom and charm. Otherwise, why would we scold people as being fox spirits, and not wolf spirits or dog spirits.โ
Bai Yuehu, โOhโฆโฆโย
As Lu Qingjiu listened to them talk, the more he wanted to rush over to Zhu Miaomiao and get her to stop talking. He pretty much understood why Bai Yuehu was pretending to be a fox spirit, but how was he supposed to tell his familyโs fox spirit that he didnโt have anything against his original form? Could he just say it so straightforwardly? What if Bai Yuehu didnโt believe him, what should he do then? Before Lu Qingjiu could come up with an answer, he saw Zhu Miaomiao pick up the remote and change the channel. โAnimal Planetโs show is over, letโs watch something else.โ
Bai Yuehu said, โEn.โ
Zhu Miaomiao casually changed it to a TV drama about a conflict between a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, and began to watch together with Bai Yuehu with relish.
Today truly was strange. Usually, Bai Yuehu would be lying in the rocking chair in the courtyard, too lazy to even move, but today, heโd actually gotten the interest to watch TV together with Zhu Miaomiao, and was even watching so seriously.
Lu Qingjiu said in a small voice, โYuehu, Miaomiao, do you guys want to eat pumpkin pastries?โ
Zhu Miaomiao stood up and said happily, โYes yes? Are they in the kitchen?โ
โEn,โ Lu Qingjiu said, โI just fried them, theyโre still hot.โ
Upon hearing that, Zhu Miaomiao didnโt even wait to hear the rest of Lu Qingjiuโs words before rushing into the kitchen, leaving Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu to stare at each other in the living room.
Lu Qingjiu was made a little uncomfortable by Bai Yuehuโs gaze. He let out a dry cough. โYouโre not going to eat?โ
Bai Yuehu said, โIโm not hungry.โ
Lu Qingjiu, โ…..โ Huh? He didnโt mishear, did he? Bai Yuehu said that he wasnโt hungry? Usually wasnโt Bai Yuehu the most enthusiastic one when it came to eating?!
Bai Yuehu said, โDo you prefer boys or girls?โ
Lu Qingjiu thought he misheard. He let out a confused โahโ. โWhat did you say?โ
Bai Yuehu said, โDo you prefer boys or girls?โ His tone softened. โI like both.โ
Lu Qingjiu felt like he was definitely misunderstanding what Bai Yuehu meant, so even though his face was burning bright red from Bai Yuehuโs gaze, he still tried to calm down and reply, โI like both.โ After saying that, he added a very straight โItโs all the same whether you give birth to a boy or a girl!โ
Bai Yuehu, โEn, thatโs true.โ
Bai Yuehuโs gaze was burning hot. Lu Qingjiu truly didnโt dare to keep eye contact with him. He looked away, asking hoarsely, โThenโฆโฆ Do you want to eat pumpkin pastries?โ
Bai Yuehu said, โOkay.โ
Only then did Lu Qingjiu rush back into the kitchen like he was fleeing. There, he was greeted with the sight of Zhu Miaomiao and Yin Xun, those two pigs, stuffing the pastries in their mouths and yelping at how hot they were over and over again. Zhu Miaomiaoโs cheeks were bulging. In a muffled voice, she asked, โLu Qingjiu, why is your face so red?โ
Lu Qingjiu, โFrom watching Animal Planet.โ
Zhu Miaomiao, โ……Are you serious?โ
Lu Qingjiu, โOtherwise?โ
Zhu Miaomiao, this thing, didnโt have even a hint of a womanโs reservedness. Upon hearing Lu Qingjiu say that, she actually got excited, rubbing her fists eagerly as she said, โThen youโre really too sensitive, have you seen dolphins mate? Oh my gosh, that lengthโโ Itโs damn stimulating.โ
Lu Qingjiu thought to himself, Laoziโs not only seen dolphins, heโs even seen slugs. Have you seen a purple โthingโ before? Itโs also damn stimulating.
Yin Xun, this child who had never seen the world, was utterly confused from where he was listening off to the side. โWhat? Dolphins have JJs? Arenโt dolphinsโ fish?โ Didnโt all fish use external fertilisation?
โYou didnโt listen in class, did you? Dolphins are mammals. Theyโre known as the rogues of the see, theyโre horrible creatures that would even try to have sex with a fish,โ Zhu Miaomiao excitedly began to discuss popular science with Yin Xun, โDo you know that dolphins in aquariums will even try to do it with the keepers!โ
Hearing this, Yin Xunโs eyes grew wide. He subconsciously shot a look at Lu Qingjiu.
At this point in time, Lu Qingjiu was very sensitive about such things. This look from Yin Xun ruffled his feathers. โFuck why are you fucking looking at me?โ
Yin Xun said, โI was just casually looking.โ As if. Me looking at you, isnโt this because youโre taking care of a creature thatโs even more terrifying than dolphins. At the very least, his father wouldnโt even let off a turtle, tch, it really is that with dreams, anyone can do anything.
Lu Qingjiu looked at Yin Xun suspiciously, he didnโt believe that Yin Xun didnโt mean anything by his look. โYin Xun, tell me honestly, do you know something?โ
Yin Xun tried to look dumb. โKnow what?โ
Lu Qingjiu, โOf course itโs aboutโฆโฆโ He originally wanted to say Bai Yuehu, but found that at some unknown point, Bai Yuehu had appeared at the food to the kitchen, and was staring expressionlessly at the three people who were enthusiastically discussing a topic not suitable for children, and hence forcefully choked the words pressing against his lips back down. โOf course itโs about what weโll be having for lunch!โ
Yin Xun, โLetโs eat fish to replenish our bodies.โ He gave Lu Qingjiu a pitying look.
Lu Qingjiu, โ……โ What the fuck do you mean by that.
Yin Xun, โ……โ Nothing, I was just caring about you.
Lu Qingjiu, โ……โ Speak human.
Yin Xun, โ……โ Take good care of yourself, your good days are numbered.
After the twoโs silent conversation came to an end, Yin Xun returned to his identity as an idiot. Still munching on a pumpkin pastry, he went out to get Jiang Buhuan to sweep up chicken shit with him.
Zhu Miaomiao was rather slow, and didnโt notice the silent undercurrent of tension between Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu. However, she still did feel like the atmosphere around them was inexplicably heavy. โYou two can talk, Iโll also go out and get stuff done.โ
Before Lu Qingjiu could stop her, she turned and left.
Thus, in this tiny space, only Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu were left once more. Lu Qingjiu originally thought that Bai Yuehu would say something, but his familyโs fox spirit only shot him a glance, before turning to leave as well.
Lu Qingjiu hurriedly called out, โYuehu!โ
Bai Yuehu paused in his footsteps, looking back with a burning gaze.
Lu Qingjiu said in a small voice, โThatโฆโฆ You havenโt eaten your pumpkin pastries.โ
Bai Yuehu, โ……โ
Lu Qingjiu, โAre you going to eat them?โ
Bai Yuehu forced out a reply between gritted teeth, โIโll eat.โ
Lu Qingjiu, โ……โ If you want to eat just eat, what do you have such a terrifying look on your face forโฆโฆ
The author has something to say:
Lu Qingjiu: Iโm a guy, I canโt give birth to children!!
Bai Yuehu: When thereโs a will, thereโs a way?
Lu Qingjiu: ?????
baum: dolphins really are horrible lol they even like to get high off of pufferfish
I learned new stuff about dolphins that I didn’t know lolololol
So.. BYH wants to sleep with LQJ now? Or why is he eating him with his eyes? xD
Thx for the ch (ใ หใ ห)
Is that info even real? ๐ง
Yup. Dolphins are the frat boys of the sea. They’d even pass around a puffer fish to get high off their toxins. They’ve also been known to rape sea otters. They’re quite despicable ๐ฌ
Damn my view of dolphins changed completely when I saw this ๐
Yoooo, my three points of view are changing
Ah ah ah, They are already doing their family plan. ๐
The little theather is really, GOLD. ๐
I also read and documentaries about dolphins and damn girl, they do be nasty sometimes. ๐คฎ
….dolphins also gangrape….. They’re the worst.
Thanks for the chapter! (โงโฝโฆ)
DolphinSmoking.jpg
So much tension ๐Thanks for the chapter!!!
A whole new world or two was just opened for BYH.
Thanks for the great translation โฅ๏ธ
Also Bai yuehu: when there’s a hole there’s a way ๐๐๐ป
Thanks for the chapter!
I can always count on this story to make me laugh. Thanks for translating! <3
ai…watching animals planet can get weird too… especially when you watch it with your siblings…
“sis…what are they doing?”
they’re fucking
Thanks for the chapter!
Not sure if it flows as well or changes the meaning at all, but as a suggestion for the ” Itโs all the same whether you give birth to a boy or a girl!”, if you want a version that doesn’t use “you” (and therefore doesn’t require a clarification), it could maybe rephrased passively like ” Itโs all the same whether a boy or a girl is born!”
Thank you so much for the chapter!(เนยด>แ<)~โค
Thanks for the chapter! Well, by dragon custom, they are probably engaged or even married? So I guess BYH is studying up for the wedding night? Who knows, maybe kids are possible… Iโd love a side story set in the future where they are raising a brood of little dragons…
+1 yes๐
thinking about bai yuehu being super excited to be a husband and father and live the rest of his life in blissful domesticity with the person he cherishes the most makes me so soft. he really is such a sweet husband
thanks for the chapter
Ao ao ao
They are making progress
Especially Yuehu, he is taking action
hei hei hei
I once read about a dolphin who fell in love with a human researcher, it committed suicide after they were separated. Dolphins can act horribly but not as bad as what humans are capable of.
Have you seen the researcher that “helped” the dolphin with its needs ๐ฒ
I’ve read from HDS. I thought the facts about dolphin is something the author created. So it was true??!!!!! ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฒ
Haha only Qingjiu doesn’t have a clue~
Thank you for the chapter!
I hope this isn’t mpreg, because I HATE that. And I hate BL stories with children. Ugh, please no.
These chicken and duck talk..really๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ๐๐คฃ
this whole chapter is a mess LMFAOO
Dolphins, ducks, some species of penguin and some species of otters. They are the most violent, sadistic and disgusting animals. What they do to others of their species, the babies and whatever animal they get their fins/paws/wings on… frickin feral. One documentary got cancelled half way through because things were so atrocious they didn’t want to keep filming and knew it would never be able to be aired on tv. That alone tells you just how monstrous things got. It’s always the ones you would never suspect. ๐ฒ๐ฃ
Oh those necrophiliac ducks ๐
So it is possible to have a child for him… Omg. A baby boy pllsss
I badly want this to be mpreg. I want little kids huhuhu