translator: baumkuchen
It had to be said, Animal Planet was actually really interesting. After watching for a while with Bai Yuehu, Lu Qingjiu went to the kitchen to cook. Zhu Miaomiao would only be able to stay here for a few days before having to go back to work, so Lu Qingjiu wanted to make every meal a little richer, to let her eat everything she could.
The types of crops growing in the field were especially numerous in spring, with there being anything and everything. Lu Qingjiu cut the pumpkin he had brought back the previous day into pieces, then grinded it up and mixed it together with flour. He then placed sweetened bean paste in the middle and steamed it. After that, he coated it with a layer of bread crumbs and fried it on low heat. Their home’s pumpkins already had a strong fragrance, and were both soft and sweet. After being fried, the taste became even better. The outside was crisp, when when you bit into it, hot steaming bean paste would leak out from the inside.
Just as Lu Qingjiu was placing the fried pumpkin pastries on a plate to cool, he saw Yin Xun rush in, hurried. Upon seeing him, he cried, “Lu Qingjiu!”
“What’s wrong?” Lu Qingjiu asked.
Yin Xun said, “We’ve got a big problem!”
Lu Qingjiu’s movements stilled. “A big problem? What is it?”
Yin Xun said, “Your family’s fox spirit is actually watching porn in the living room in broad daylight!!”
Lu Qingjiu, “……” He looked at Yin Xun, his face reading “are you serious”.
Yin Xun reached out and grabbed a pumpkin pastry, took a bite, and nodded heavily. “Of course I’m serious! Quickly go out and take care of it!”
Lu Qingjiu quickly wiped his hands, wondering if Bai Yuehu had clicked on some paid channel. He hurried out of the kitchen, wanting to call out upon reaching the living room. But just as he arrived outside, before he could walk in, he heard a very familiar deep male voice: Spring is here, and it is mating season once more……
Lu Qingjiu, “……” He seemed to have guessed something.
Sure enough, when Lu Qingjiu got a good look at the television screen, he saw two foxes mating. The male fox was draped over the female fox’s body, humping and humping, while Bai Yuehu was watching abnormally seriously with furrowed eyebrows.
Lu Qingjiu inexplicably felt a little embarrassed. Pretending to not have seen anything at all, he turned and left.
Yin Xun was still in the kitchen, decimating the pile of pumpkin pastries. His mouth was covered in bean paste. Upon seeing Lu Qingjiu return, he asked hurriedly, “How is it, how is it, isn’t he watching porn!?”
Lu Qingjiu said through gritted teeth, “How is Animal Planet considered porn?”
Yin Xun said, “If it’s not porn, why is your face so red!”
Lu Qingjiu, “My face isn’t red!” But when he’d seen Bai Yuehu’s expression just now, he had indeed felt a little embarrassed, but not to the point that his face turned red…… Probably.
Yin Xun mercilessly exposed Lu Qingjiu, “Come on, your face is as red as a baboon’s ass right now.”
Lu Qingjiu got angry. “Just eat your pumpkin pastry.”
Yin Xun, “……” Are you adults all so easily angered by embarrassment?
In order to keep his pumpkin pastries, Yin Xun decided to learn to shut up. Lu Qingjiu fried the rest of the pastries, then, after he was done, went to the living room and saw that they now had another litter of fox kits. Sigh, he didn’t know whether when spring came again next year, if they would be able to hold back a bit, and not teach the children bad things.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Bai Yuehu asked, “Three years?”
Zhu Miaomiao said, “Yeah, they have to raise the little foxes. Of course, this is definitely very difficult. If the little foxes’ lives are unfortunately cut short, they’ll give birth to a new litter in the second year.” As she spoke, she petted the little fox kit that was curled up on her lap and said, “Ai, if not for the style of your fur, I would have thought that you were a little fox too, with that sharp little muzzle of yours.”
The little fox kit, “……” Jiejie, can you only identify people by their fur?
Hearing this, a thoughtful expression appeared on Bai Yuehu’s face.
Zhu Miaomiao continued, “Foxes are all very smart. If it were any other animal living in the garbage dump, they might have already died by now.”
Bai Yuehu said, “Do humans really like foxes?”
Zhu Miaomiao, “Yep, even though people think of foxes as very cunning, they also think that they’re the embodiment of wisdom and charm. Otherwise, why would we scold people as being fox spirits, and not wolf spirits or dog spirits.”
Bai Yuehu, “Oh……”
As Lu Qingjiu listened to them talk, the more he wanted to rush over to Zhu Miaomiao and get her to stop talking. He pretty much understood why Bai Yuehu was pretending to be a fox spirit, but how was he supposed to tell his family’s fox spirit that he didn’t have anything against his original form? Could he just say it so straightforwardly? What if Bai Yuehu didn’t believe him, what should he do then? Before Lu Qingjiu could come up with an answer, he saw Zhu Miaomiao pick up the remote and change the channel. “Animal Planet’s show is over, let’s watch something else.”
Bai Yuehu said, “En.”
Zhu Miaomiao casually changed it to a TV drama about a conflict between a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law, and began to watch together with Bai Yuehu with relish.
Today truly was strange. Usually, Bai Yuehu would be lying in the rocking chair in the courtyard, too lazy to even move, but today, he’d actually gotten the interest to watch TV together with Zhu Miaomiao, and was even watching so seriously.
Lu Qingjiu said in a small voice, “Yuehu, Miaomiao, do you guys want to eat pumpkin pastries?”
Zhu Miaomiao stood up and said happily, “Yes yes? Are they in the kitchen?”
“En,” Lu Qingjiu said, “I just fried them, they’re still hot.”
Upon hearing that, Zhu Miaomiao didn’t even wait to hear the rest of Lu Qingjiu’s words before rushing into the kitchen, leaving Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu to stare at each other in the living room.
Lu Qingjiu was made a little uncomfortable by Bai Yuehu’s gaze. He let out a dry cough. “You’re not going to eat?”
Bai Yuehu said, “I’m not hungry.”
Lu Qingjiu, “…..” Huh? He didn’t mishear, did he? Bai Yuehu said that he wasn’t hungry? Usually wasn’t Bai Yuehu the most enthusiastic one when it came to eating?!
Bai Yuehu said, “Do you prefer boys or girls?”
Lu Qingjiu thought he misheard. He let out a confused “ah”. “What did you say?”
Bai Yuehu said, “Do you prefer boys or girls?” His tone softened. “I like both.”
Lu Qingjiu felt like he was definitely misunderstanding what Bai Yuehu meant, so even though his face was burning bright red from Bai Yuehu’s gaze, he still tried to calm down and reply, “I like both.” After saying that, he added a very straight “It’s all the same whether you give birth to a boy or a girl!”
Bai Yuehu, “En, that’s true.”
Bai Yuehu’s gaze was burning hot. Lu Qingjiu truly didn’t dare to keep eye contact with him. He looked away, asking hoarsely, “Then…… Do you want to eat pumpkin pastries?”
Bai Yuehu said, “Okay.”
Only then did Lu Qingjiu rush back into the kitchen like he was fleeing. There, he was greeted with the sight of Zhu Miaomiao and Yin Xun, those two pigs, stuffing the pastries in their mouths and yelping at how hot they were over and over again. Zhu Miaomiao’s cheeks were bulging. In a muffled voice, she asked, “Lu Qingjiu, why is your face so red?”
Lu Qingjiu, “From watching Animal Planet.”
Zhu Miaomiao, “……Are you serious?”
Lu Qingjiu, “Otherwise?”
Zhu Miaomiao, this thing, didn’t have even a hint of a woman’s reservedness. Upon hearing Lu Qingjiu say that, she actually got excited, rubbing her fists eagerly as she said, “Then you’re really too sensitive, have you seen dolphins mate? Oh my gosh, that length—— It’s damn stimulating.”
Lu Qingjiu thought to himself, Laozi’s not only seen dolphins, he’s even seen slugs. Have you seen a purple “thing” before? It’s also damn stimulating.
Yin Xun, this child who had never seen the world, was utterly confused from where he was listening off to the side. “What? Dolphins have JJs? Aren’t dolphins’ fish?” Didn’t all fish use external fertilisation?
“You didn’t listen in class, did you? Dolphins are mammals. They’re known as the rogues of the see, they’re horrible creatures that would even try to have sex with a fish,” Zhu Miaomiao excitedly began to discuss popular science with Yin Xun, “Do you know that dolphins in aquariums will even try to do it with the keepers!”
Hearing this, Yin Xun’s eyes grew wide. He subconsciously shot a look at Lu Qingjiu.
At this point in time, Lu Qingjiu was very sensitive about such things. This look from Yin Xun ruffled his feathers. “Fuck why are you fucking looking at me?”
Yin Xun said, “I was just casually looking.” As if. Me looking at you, isn’t this because you’re taking care of a creature that’s even more terrifying than dolphins. At the very least, his father wouldn’t even let off a turtle, tch, it really is that with dreams, anyone can do anything.
Lu Qingjiu looked at Yin Xun suspiciously, he didn’t believe that Yin Xun didn’t mean anything by his look. “Yin Xun, tell me honestly, do you know something?”
Yin Xun tried to look dumb. “Know what?”
Lu Qingjiu, “Of course it’s about……” He originally wanted to say Bai Yuehu, but found that at some unknown point, Bai Yuehu had appeared at the food to the kitchen, and was staring expressionlessly at the three people who were enthusiastically discussing a topic not suitable for children, and hence forcefully choked the words pressing against his lips back down. “Of course it’s about what we’ll be having for lunch!”
Yin Xun, “Let’s eat fish to replenish our bodies.” He gave Lu Qingjiu a pitying look.
Lu Qingjiu, “……” What the fuck do you mean by that.
Yin Xun, “……” Nothing, I was just caring about you.
Lu Qingjiu, “……” Speak human.
Yin Xun, “……” Take good care of yourself, your good days are numbered.
After the two’s silent conversation came to an end, Yin Xun returned to his identity as an idiot. Still munching on a pumpkin pastry, he went out to get Jiang Buhuan to sweep up chicken shit with him.
Zhu Miaomiao was rather slow, and didn’t notice the silent undercurrent of tension between Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu. However, she still did feel like the atmosphere around them was inexplicably heavy. “You two can talk, I’ll also go out and get stuff done.”
Before Lu Qingjiu could stop her, she turned and left.
Thus, in this tiny space, only Lu Qingjiu and Bai Yuehu were left once more. Lu Qingjiu originally thought that Bai Yuehu would say something, but his family’s fox spirit only shot him a glance, before turning to leave as well.
Lu Qingjiu hurriedly called out, “Yuehu!”
Bai Yuehu paused in his footsteps, looking back with a burning gaze.
Lu Qingjiu said in a small voice, “That…… You haven’t eaten your pumpkin pastries.”
Bai Yuehu, “……”
Lu Qingjiu, “Are you going to eat them?”
Bai Yuehu forced out a reply between gritted teeth, “I’ll eat.”
Lu Qingjiu, “……” If you want to eat just eat, what do you have such a terrifying look on your face for……
The author has something to say:
Lu Qingjiu: I’m a guy, I can’t give birth to children!!
Bai Yuehu: When there’s a will, there’s a way?
Lu Qingjiu: ?????
baum: dolphins really are horrible lol they even like to get high off of pufferfish
I learned new stuff about dolphins that I didn’t know lolololol
So.. BYH wants to sleep with LQJ now? Or why is he eating him with his eyes? xD
Thx for the ch (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘)
Is that info even real? 🧐
Yup. Dolphins are the frat boys of the sea. They’d even pass around a puffer fish to get high off their toxins. They’ve also been known to rape sea otters. They’re quite despicable 😬
Damn my view of dolphins changed completely when I saw this 💀
Yoooo, my three points of view are changing
Ah ah ah, They are already doing their family plan. 😂
The little theather is really, GOLD. 👌
I also read and documentaries about dolphins and damn girl, they do be nasty sometimes. 🤮
….dolphins also gangrape….. They’re the worst.
Thanks for the chapter! (≧▽≦)
DolphinSmoking.jpg
So much tension 😈Thanks for the chapter!!!
A whole new world or two was just opened for BYH.
Thanks for the great translation ♥️
Also Bai yuehu: when there’s a hole there’s a way 😔👌🏻
Thanks for the chapter!
I can always count on this story to make me laugh. Thanks for translating! <3
ai…watching animals planet can get weird too… especially when you watch it with your siblings…
“sis…what are they doing?”
they’re fucking
Thanks for the chapter!
Not sure if it flows as well or changes the meaning at all, but as a suggestion for the ” It’s all the same whether you give birth to a boy or a girl!”, if you want a version that doesn’t use “you” (and therefore doesn’t require a clarification), it could maybe rephrased passively like ” It’s all the same whether a boy or a girl is born!”
Thank you so much for the chapter!(๑´>᎑<)~❤
Thanks for the chapter! Well, by dragon custom, they are probably engaged or even married? So I guess BYH is studying up for the wedding night? Who knows, maybe kids are possible… I’d love a side story set in the future where they are raising a brood of little dragons…
+1 yes😂
thinking about bai yuehu being super excited to be a husband and father and live the rest of his life in blissful domesticity with the person he cherishes the most makes me so soft. he really is such a sweet husband
thanks for the chapter
Ao ao ao
They are making progress
Especially Yuehu, he is taking action
hei hei hei
I once read about a dolphin who fell in love with a human researcher, it committed suicide after they were separated. Dolphins can act horribly but not as bad as what humans are capable of.
Have you seen the researcher that “helped” the dolphin with its needs 😲
I’ve read from HDS. I thought the facts about dolphin is something the author created. So it was true??!!!!! 😲😲😲😲
Haha only Qingjiu doesn’t have a clue~
Thank you for the chapter!
I hope this isn’t mpreg, because I HATE that. And I hate BL stories with children. Ugh, please no.
These chicken and duck talk..really🙈🤣🙈🤣🙈🤣
this whole chapter is a mess LMFAOO
Dolphins, ducks, some species of penguin and some species of otters. They are the most violent, sadistic and disgusting animals. What they do to others of their species, the babies and whatever animal they get their fins/paws/wings on… frickin feral. One documentary got cancelled half way through because things were so atrocious they didn’t want to keep filming and knew it would never be able to be aired on tv. That alone tells you just how monstrous things got. It’s always the ones you would never suspect. 😲😣
Oh those necrophiliac ducks 💀
So it is possible to have a child for him… Omg. A baby boy pllsss
I badly want this to be mpreg. I want little kids huhuhu