Dao Of The Salted FishCh96 - You dare?? You DARE???!!

Lin Yijun’s eyes closed, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. His tongue slid hot against Zhou Sheng’s. It was like lightning, like spice.

Zhou Sheng’s mouth was the most delicious thing he had been forced to ‘eat’ so far. pxAGXV

Confused lightning crackled in the dark clouds. Thunder boomed, as though the Heavens were growling at them to stop. No, no, this can’t be right! Immortal eyes above could not believe the scene below.

“What—what is the meaning of this?” Elder Wang spluttered.

Please visit chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

“Zhou Sheng, you were a spy the entire time?!” the Blood Sect Leader growled.

“That cultivator is not one of ours!” Elder Wang shouted back. “Your scum disciple seduced our Lin Yijun!” ebrBkw

Anger throbbed in Lin Yijun’s forehead. He apologetically pulled away from Zhou Sheng. The corner of his eyes curled when Zhou Sheng grabbed his hand.

“Don’t speak like that of Zhou Sheng,” Lin Yijun said coldly to all those present. “He is—”

“—his future Dao Companion,” Zhou Sheng finished, with a cocky tilt of his head. The big stone in his heart had dropped, and the resulting hole was filled with renewed confidence and relief and happiness.

Lin Yijun smiled, his eyes soft towards Zhou Sheng.

tULeyQ

Elder Wang gagged at the disgusting sight. “Lin Yijun, kill that demonic cultivator and get back here.”

Lin Yijun’s smile dropped, eyes turning cold. “No.” He drew his sword with his free hand, as though readying to protect the demonic cultivator from Elder Wang.

“So, Zhou Sheng defected. Then we’ll kill him too,” an elder from the Blood Sect said dismissively.

Zhou Sheng let go of Lin Yijun’s hand and turned to face the Blood Sect cultivators. His polearm emerged and thumped on the air with a BANG! IAzWq8

“Didn’t I say I’ll kill any of you who dares to approach?” Zhou Sheng said darkly. “I’m the one taking out slave-owning rubbish. Come here and let me take out the trash.”

Wen Zhihao snickered, mentally giving Zhou Sheng a thumbs up for his line delivery. And he was happy for them: they seemed a lot happier now, and their qi was harmonious together rather than jarring.

Some demonic cultivators clearly wanted to die early. A few rushed up to Zhou Sheng and others rushed up to Lin Yijun. Zhou Sheng and Lin Yijun met them head on, together. The qi shockwaves from their weapons sent their opponents flying back.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Elder Wang gritted his teeth. His eyes honed in onto the Disciple Wen, inner disciple of Elder Liu Ru. “What’s so funny, Disciple Wen? Was it you who corrupted Lin Yijun?” wLucKT

Qfc Itltjb raloofcfv, yea atfc atf vbu gjc yfakffc tlw jcv Sivfg Qjcu, yjglcu tfg affat.

“GRRR!!!” DARE YOU SAY THAT AGAIN, OLD MAN?!

Elder Wang drew his sword a fraction from its scabbard. The blade shone brightly with qi. “Disciples, eliminate—” Elder Wang sucked a sharp breath when a sword suddenly slapped him on the bottom. He gnashed his teeth and spun around. “Which disciple dared—!”

Dea atfgf kjr bcis j rlcuif oislcu rkbgv, wbnlcu fcalgfis bc lar bkc! Sivfg Qjcu mbeiv rff dl mifjg jr vjs, jcv sfa atlr rkbgv tjv cb jaajmtfv dl—la kjrc’a yflcu mbcagbiifv ys jcsbcf! Qlatbea atlr, Sivfg Qjcu mbeivc’a qgfvlma lar fggjalm wjcbfengfgr. YBktTW

Wen Zhihao’s sword crowed in its heart. Ha! Whack!

Some of the righteous cultivators couldn’t hold back their sniggers.

Please visit chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

A cultivator from the Ghost Sect sneered at the squabbling righteous cultivators. Aren’t they forgetting something? Pei, idiots! “Ghosts, grab me a demonic beast!”

Pale, chilling ghosts flew across the ravine, straight for Wen Zhihao. Mre0f5

“Fuck, you Ghost Sect bastards! Demons, get me a beast first! Get me two, no three!”

Bipedal, tripedal, quadpedal demons gnashed their teeth under the command and rushed forward.

The more reckless of demonic cultivators quickly followed on their heels.

Whoosh! kCQ1Z9

Stones flew through the air, as fast as an arrow. They slammed into the ghosts’ forehead. Some ghosts stopped immediately in their tracks, while some weaker ghosts immediately dissipated as they crossed over.

Smack! More stones flew and struck the demons, also stopping them in their tracks.

“What, how—”

“Is that a heart soothing treasure?!!” CZPYLq

“HEAVENS ABOVE! A HEART SOOTHING TREASURE!”

Demonic and righteous cultivators alike had their concentration broken as they focused their attention on the fallen stones on the ground, littering both sides of the ravine.

Heart soothing treasures! Who on earth would throw them out like common sticks and stones?!

One righteous cultivator from a different sect couldn’t help himself—he was poor, and heart soothing treasures were expensive! He weaved through the dumbfounded ghosts and snatched up a stone. “Heavens witness! It really is a heart-soothing treasure!” With this stone, he could avoid heart-demons and his path to cultivation will become so smooth! RMLKaq

His words struck the hearts of many. The scrambling for the stones began!

The ghost cultivator who had sent the first round of ghosts gritted his teeth. Fuck heart-soothing treasures, he didn’t need them! He summoned his most powerful revengeful ghost. The ghost general dripped blood from head to toe, emanating a cold murderous aura. “Get me a demonic beast, now!”

Sun Fuyu swore in his heart as the ghostly general rushed towards them. He was running out of calming stones, and he couldn’t dash in and retrieve the thrown ones, not with all the cultivators scrambling for them. “Wen-ge, get behind me!”

Wen Zhihao dazedly moved behind Sun Fuyu. Who was the author of this novel?! qw1K0E

Before Sun Fuyu could step forward to meet the ghostly general, though, light shone like miniature suns from the demonic cats. No matter how high one’s cultivation, it was impossible to see exactly what was happening.

A few seconds later, the cats were gone…and in their place were humans—or human figures. Their skin was a range between pale, pink, and grey. Long hair tumbled down their patterned robes, and furry ears stuck out from heads.

Read more BL at chrysanthemumgarden (dot) com

The eyes on the transformed demonic beasts grew even hotter. These demonic beasts had cultivated enough to achieve a human form!

One of the cat-humans bared her teeth. “Pet, you dare want us as a pet?” She and another cat-human leapt at the ghostly general, claw tipped hands forcing the ghost into submission. “We’ll make you our pet, let’s see how you like that!” yFwSIE

“Tch, I hate this form,” a male cat-human frowned, pulled at his yucky robes. They all had robes on because Huang Jialing impressed on them multiple times to transform their fur into human clothing. “So let me be quick, no one will be our master! You can only be our cat-slave!”

“Don’t even bother trying to attack us, you humans won’t even fill the spaces between our teeth,” another cat-human sneered.

“Tch, not even worthy to be a cat-slave!”

“Go away, we don’t want you stinky humans!” 86FHnl

“And stay away from our sleepy human!”

With their thoughts expressed in human language for the poor humans who couldn’t understand cat-language, bright lights surrounded the cat-humans once more as they turned back into their preferred cat form. Their mouths opened, baring sharp teeth. You dare? You dare make me your pet? Throw you into the pits for a thousand years!

One cat slapped the humans and ghosts and demons alike and grabbed the calming stones. “GRRR!!!” These aren’t yours! They’re mine now!!

“May lightning strike up!” Elder Wang seethed. He finally trapped the wayward sword under chains, and threw the cursed thing to the ground hard enough to create a small crater. “Disciple Wen, stop playing around and fight! Disciple Sun, dare you point your sword at me?” uGz9dh

Wen Zhihao snapped out of his cat-induced daze. He rested a placating hand on Sun Fuyu’s shoulder and looked up at Elder Wang’s angry, demanding face.

“No. I don’t want to fight.”

Elder Wang spluttered in anger.

“Calm down, Elder Wang. Take a deep breath in, and breathe out…” FcudJD

Wen Zhihao’s voice was laced with qi and had an authoritative parental tone. Cultivators couldn’t help but subconsciously breathe in as the voice told them to.

The air rippled around Wen Zhihao, like a soft shockwave spreading outwards.

 

  QvpEgm

Elder Wang: THIS IS MEANT TO BE SERIOUS!

Wen Zhihao: ┐(︶▽︶)┌ Guess I’m about to ruin this man’s life…

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

 

Cats: Stay away from our sleepy human! Nty mz

Sun Fuyu: (≖_≖ ) Whose sleepy human, hm?

🌺 bafflinghaze [Writer]
Hi, I'm bafflinghaze \(≧∀≦)/ I love reading, and reading makes me want to write (a number of other things also help me write, like comments~) ❉ website | tumblr
Buy Me a Coffee at ko-fi.com

Recommended Novels

Leave a Comment

115 comments

  2. I can’t believe the battlefield went from war to romance spot to bustling market to catboy gathering in a span of one chapter hsfdhfhfdhs well done author

  3. Wen Zhihao dazedly moved behind Sun Fuyu. Who was the author of this novel?!

    YES! WHO COULD IT BE?!😂

    “Don’t speak like that of Zhou Sheng,” Lin Yijun said coldly to all those present. “He is—”
    “—his future Dao Companion,” Zhou Sheng finished, with a cocky tilt of his head.

    Daaaang Zhou Sheng. So this is what you’re really like? Cocky and (hopefully) flirty leaving Yijun all aflutter.

    My babies are all grown up and confusing the Heavens! Just like their parent Zihao.

    Ah they grow up so fast. 😌🤧

  5. oh i didn’t read last chapter so when i saw the first few lines i was so confused dsjkf

    thanks for the chapter 😀

  6. I laughed SO HARD and then cat’s made me go all awwww, yes babies, protect our fishy!

    (Wish happiness to the protags meanwhile).

  7. Why I feel like he will go tru a breaktru? I can’t wait to see the tribution 🤗

    Thank you for the hard work

  9. I-I’m sorry, but it seems like I have misunderstood something…

    “Wen Zhihao’s sword crowed in its heart. Ha! Whack!Some of the righteous cultivators couldn’t hold back their snigger.” It says here that the sword pierces the heart of the elders and the bright cultivators laughed at this? 😱🤔😅

  19. I don’t know why but when I read the last part I thought I was reading about wei ying annoying lan qiren to death xd

  20. Who is the author eh? Who? Hahahahaha so funny I love the cats so much 🤣 and Sun Sun is as lovely as always protecting his salted fish of a Dao companion thanks for the chapter mischievous author-sama 💕💕

  21. mini theater:

    Magic hot spring: launches magic stones at bad guys “Take that and that and that again”

    Magic calming stone: “I am flying!” whack hits demonic cultivator in head and I stopped, damn stupid human meat barrier.

  22. Thanks for the chapter! This is hilarious… so many things just got utterly derailed. The cats, the sentient sword whacking Elder Wang, the furor over the calming stones, the passionate declaration, and Wen-ge finally showing what he can do. Although, I kind of want to see the cats bringing home a ghost general as a pet…

  24. Wow! Should have guessed those cats were cultivating along with Wen Zhihao. Omg he has a cat army. An army of nappers 🤣

    Thanks for the chapter!

  25. I must say author..Are you taking my suggestion on Lin Yijun being the gong o((^▽^))o

    Also, Wen Zhihao – The author is a person nicknames bafflinghaze.I hope I can get a calming stone as reward for this information >.>

    Thanks for the chapter!!

  26. bahahhahahahahha elder wang bout to throw up some blood

    wen ge: force-calms everyone wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

    ” Who was the author of this novel?!” ψ(._. )>

    thank you for the chapter 💖

  28. damn this was all of gold and platinum and diamond gosh! The flavour of it all was just chef’s kiss

    first the fact that 2 of my oomfs almost made a perfectly clean chapter not-so-clean in the middle of a whole ass war? Mood! and then some lomls started yeeting their cheat code rocks? gold! wzh’s sword just moving to protecc on its own? while probably just thinking ha godem the entire time! and the crusty raisin losing authority albeit being supposedly the strongest? well deserved (␣˘˘ )

  31. OMG OMG BEST CHAPTER OF ANYTHING EVER.

    First off from the start I had Parry Gripp’s song “I love my kitty cat” going on in my head.

    Then this happened:

    “ A few seconds later, the cats were gone…and in their place were humans—or human figures . Their skin was a range between pale, pink, and grey. Long hair tumbled down their patterned robes, and furry ears stuck out from heads.”

    And my head exploded. Just for a moment. And then the banter back and forth. Thank you. Thank you. This was the best and I love those cats so so very much.

    Also side note, two consenting adults, let them love…

  33. no. no, no, no… jajajajaja este cap me hizo el día… yo comiendo pelusa… y de pronto aparece los gatos, siendo gatos:

    “¡Váyanse, no los queremos humanos apestosos!” “¡Y mantente alejado de nuestro humano adormilado!”Jajajaja, si no se acerquen al humano de los gatos, ellos lo ha elegido como su humano jajajaja SY, tienes suerte de que seas el compañero Dao y ellos no hayan visto a Wen Ge como el emperador del harem de gatos jajajaja, los gatos dominarán el mundo kukukuku…Y… mientras tanto… lo siento es hora de terapia de gatos jajaja

  35. This….what kind of battle between two opposing sides is like this…?! Tsk, tsk, well it’s certainly one of the top unexpected battle wars. 😭😭😂😂

  40. The noble bloodbath the elders and elder demons had planned descended into an utter chaos and I love every word of it. 😂

  43. you kidnap Miette? you take her for a pet? jail for the demonic culivators!! jail for demonic cultivators for one thousand years 🤬🐱

  48. Wen Zhihao: “Who wrote this novel?” I could not stop cackling. This is the best fight scene in Xianxia I’ve read!