Edited by Elanor
Ye Yao returned to his room, sat down and made himself a cup of tea.
Ye Yao smelled the elegant fragrance of the tea, slowly sorting out his low but somewhat strange mood.
Lu Xun’s departure was within his expectations. He and Lu Xun had been friends for so many years, and he knew that their relationship had probably ended here. It was impossible to say that he was not sad at all.
But at the same time, there was also a sense of relief that all the dust had finally settled.
He no longer had to rack his brains on ways to distance himself from Lu Xun, and he no longer needed to balance on a tightrope, moving forward carefully, always worrying about missing his step and falling down.
It was like before entering the examination room for the College Entrance Examination, he had told himself that he should not be too nervous when encountering questions that he could not solve, because he had tried his best to study, so even if he failed, he did not need to blame himself or be too depressed.
Now everything between him and Lu Xun was over, and he had even tried his best to preserve this friendship.
Ye Yao drank the tea in one gulp.
He went to sleep. Tomorrow when he woke up it would be a new day, and the sun would still rise as usual.
*****
When Lu Xun ran out, his mind was almost blank, only what Ye Yao said to him was circling back and forth.
I like being the one below, I like being the one below, I like being the one below.
This sentence was more powerful than Tang Sanzang's incantations at this moment, and it circulated in his mind continuously, until Lu Xun came downstairs and got blown by the chilly spring breeze on his face, and then he suddenly came to his senses.
In the room at that time, when Ye Yao said that sentence, the shou male lead from the video they were watching on the phone happened to utter an earthy moan. At that moment, he had a vision of Ye Yao lying on the bed.
He had imagined Ye Yao was wearing a soft beige pajamas, his cheeks were slightly red because the quilt covering him was warm enough. Ye Yao watched him with a smile, stretched out his hand, and touched his Adam’s apple.
Ye Yao had not touched Lu Xun’s Adam’s apple, after all, this part would not be touched casually in daily life. But as he just imagined it, his whole scalp turned numb.
Such a Ye Yao…was too different from usual.
How could he fantasize about Ye Yao so much? Thinking of Ye Yao in this way, how was he any different from those bastards who insulted Ye Yao for wanting a man?
In the past, what he hated the most was that others thought of Ye Yao that way, but now he himself had become such a person.
This imagination that should not have appeared, prompted Lu Xun to run away and not face Ye Yao directly.
Now Lu Xun was walking downstairs, circling the building again and again. He was full of energy, and he still didn’t feel tired at all after walking a few laps at a super fast speed. Instead, some kind of flame was burning in his heart, and his mind was in a mess.
As a gay man, Ye Yao liked to be the one below, not the one above as he had subconsciously assumed.
What should he do?
Ye Yao was different from what he thought. How could it be different? It is just different!
Lu Xun walked downstairs countless times, and suddenly he realized.
He left Ye Yao and ran away without saying a word. Would Ye Yao misunderstand and think that he disgusted him and looked down on him being a shou?
Cold sweat broke out on Lu Xun’s back. He quickly took the elevator up to the floor where he was staying, took a deep breath, and after he came back to his house door, tidied his clothes, and opened the door carefully.
The room was quiet, and Ye Yao was not inside.
Feeling lost, Lu Xun went into the room and picked up his phone to check. During the time he was away, Ye Yao hadn’t sent him a message to say that he went back first.
The mobile phone was full of spam messages pushed by various apps, and there was not a single message or phone call from Ye Yao.
……not good.
Thinking that Ye Yao might be angry because of this, Lu Xun quickly clicked on the chat box with Ye Yao. But when he started typing a message, Lu Xun found that he didn’t know what to say.
How would he explain it to Ye Yao?
The reason he ran out was not because he was nauseous, but because he had fantasized some strange scenarios?
Lu Xun failed to organize what he wanted to say, and after a long time mulling over it, finally chose a very cute emoji to send over.
A small shark with a round head and a round brain poked half of its head out from behind the wall, with the words: [Is there a cutie at home?]
Lu Xun waited for a while, but did not receive Ye Yao’s reply.
Lu Xun frowned, he paced the house a few more times, and finally went out to the door of Ye Yao’s house.
When he was downstairs circling the building, he didn’t see Ye Yao go out, so Ye Yao must be in the house, and he should be able to call Ye Yao out just by knocking on the door, right?
Lu Xun raised his hand to knock on the door, but paused again.
After Ye Yao comes out, what would he say?
Lu Xun’s mind was in turmoil. He had received too much of an impact today. Ye Yao had distanced himself from him not because he hated him, but because he liked men. From Ye Yao confessing to him that he was bottom, to his sinful fantasies about Ye Yao, one wave after another shocked his various cognitions and concepts.
Looking for Ye Yao now, if Lu Xun couldn’t explain himself clearly, it would cause more trouble.
Lu Xun finally did not knock on the door, he slowly turned back to his own living room, sitting on the sofa thinking.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Coafg kjlalcu obg j ktlif, atf mjii kjr mbccfmafv.
Ktfgf kjr j iba bo cblrf lc atf yjmxugbecv ogbw Oe Zlcu’r rlvf, jcv joafg Oe Zlcu qlmxfv eq atf mjii, tf rjlv, “Lfiib? P’w kjamtlcu j mbcmfga. P’ii mbcajma sbe ijafg joafg P’w vbcf tfgf.”
“I have a relationship question that I want to ask you.” Lu Xun said without any preamble.
“I came to the rock concert and you want me to analyze relationship issues with you?” Lu Ming was incredulous. “Is this what I’m doing on this occasion? I’ll call you after the concert.”
“Your previous guess was correct,” Lu Xun said, “Ye Yao is indeed gay. He told me that he has been bent since he went to college.”
Lu Ming was shocked, looked left and right, and withdrew from the viewing gallery.
Analyzing emotional issues at a rock concert, this was true punk action! So artistic!
Although now he knew that Ye Yao was gay, Lu Ming had no intention of persuading him to stay away from Lu Xun at all. The pink sweater that Lu Xun had woven for Ye Yao was still in his mind, impacting his world view all the time.
Lu Ming walked outside to a quieter place, while talking to Lu Xun: “He’s bent, isn’t it just right for you?”
Anyway, Lu Xun was not very straight.
What did Lu Xun want him to analyze when he called, how could two men fall in love more sweetly?
“What’s just right?” Lu Xun frowned, “How could it be right for me when he bends?”
Lu Ming: “…”
Lu Ming, a gay expert, finally couldn’t help showing an expression as if he had eaten shit.
What does this mean? Oh my god, is Lu Xun still thinking that he is a straight man of steel, is he?
“So, you’re a straight guy, and you find him bent, but you still want to be friends with him, just don’t know how to get along?”
“Pretty much.” Lu Xun said, “Otherwise, just because I found out that he is bent, should I walk away? The years of relationship we had should be just broken off like that? I don’t do things that extreme.”
Lu Ming: “…you fart.”
“In the past, Fa Xiao, who liked you, cried and told you that you grew up together and knew each other for so many years, let alone ignore him, what did you say?” Lu Ming mercilessly exposed a certain personal double-standard behavior, “You said you don’t care about human feelings so not to give you such a story. You even said that it was useless if you knew the other person for a hundred years, ah!”
Lu Xun was dissatisfied: “How could he compare with Ye Yao?”
Lu Ming: “…OK, say what you like.”
“There’s no reason why straight men can’t make friends with gays.” Lu Xun said again.
Lu Ming complained expressionlessly: “You said before that you were not sick in your head to be entangled with a gay.”
Lu Xun was silent.
Lu Ming was also silent.
Didn’t Lu Xun already think clearly about this, and still wanted to continue to be friends with Ye Yao, then why did he call and ask him?
There must be something different from what Lu Xun imagined.
Lu Ming thought for a while: “Did he confess to you, and you don’t know how to respond?”
“No.” Lu Xun subconsciously clenched his phone and started to pace around the room a few times.
He realized a problem. Although he was shocked because Ye Yao was a bottom and couldn’t figure out what he was thinking, whether Ye Yao was top or bottom was Ye Yao’s private matter. Without Ye Yao’s permission, he should not tell others.
He couldn’t tell Lu Ming the reason, and Lu Ming couldn’t help him out.
Forget it, he would analyze this by himself.
Lu Xun said a few words casually and was about to hang up the phone when Lu Ming on the other end stopped him.
“I don’t know what you think, but if you still want to be friends with him and get along with him in the usual way, then I advise you not to do that.” Lu Ming said seriously.
Lu Xun stopped hanging up the phone.
“Even if he doesn’t like you now, can you continue to knit sweaters for him like before, take him to play everywhere, and hold hands while walking? If you two were straight men then it could be ignored. Now he has said he is bent, and you say you are straight, if he is tempted by you, what will you do?”
Lu Xun’s pupils shrank slightly.
What if… Ye Yao fell in love with him?
His head felt as if it was about to explode, and his blood was boiling like he was sprinting at a speed of 180 mph. This was a kind of subconscious tension, and Lu Xun’s heart was pounding.
Lu Ming couldn’t see Lu Xun’s expression on the other end of the phone, so he continued: “Should you break off all relationship with him cleanly and burn the bridge, or continue to get along with him as usual, but just don’t accept his love and just be friends with him?”
Lu Xun could not accept either of the two options.
Separate from Ye Yao, that was absolutely impossible, unless he died.
Ignoring Ye Yao’s feelings and continuing to be just friends with him, how sad would Ye Yao be? How could such a person be worthy of being Ye Yao’s friend?
Lu Ming finally said: “If you don’t want such a thing to happen, I advise you to keep a certain distance from him. Before approaching each time, think about whether you can bear such consequences.”
After speaking, Lu Ming hung up the phone and snorted disdainfully.
Lu Xun actually said that he was straight.
He was no longer the fool who was easily deceived by Lu Xun’s proclamations.
If Lu Xun was a straight man, he would take his head off and kick it like a football!
Two gay people who held hands every day, hurry up and get together ah! If you don’t stimulate it, do you really think you are straight?
Lu Xun started pacing around the room again.
Unexplainable emotions filled his body, making him unable to stop at all.
His relationship with Ye Yao…what would become of it?
In the past twenty years of his life, Lu Xun had never doubted his sexual orientation, let alone doubted that he was not a straight man.
He absolutely couldn’t accept kissing a man, just thinking about it would make him feel sick and nauseous.
But if it was Ye Yao…
Lu Xun swallowed subconsciously.
Before, he would never imagine those disrespectful images of Ye Yao, even when they took a bath together, he would deliberately keep his eyes away from Ye Yao’s back and waist.
But if the object of the kiss was replaced by Ye Yao, it didn’t seem disgusting.
After all, it was Ye Yao, no matter which part of the body it was, it was delicious to him.
What would Ye Yao’s lips taste like?
Lu Xun’s pacing sped up around the house.
Ye Yao clearly told him that he was a bottom.
If Ye Yao fell in love with him, would he be able to accept having sex with Ye Yao?
That image appeared again in Lu Xun’s mind,
Ye Yao laying on the bed, stretching out his hand, and touching his Adam’s apple.
Did he want to keep a certain distance from Ye Yao?
Because he was a straight man, should he keep a proper distance so Ye Yao would not fall in love with him, so he could maintain a long-term friendship with Ye Yao and become a suitable friend who would not cross the line?
*****
When Ye Yao woke up the next day, he saw the emoticon message that Lu Xun had sent him.
Ye Yao: “?”
Looking at the time when the emoji was sent, Lu Xun seemed to have come back quite early?
Lu Xun’s receptivity was beyond Ye Yao’s expectation. Ye Yao thought about it, but didn’t reply.
Seeing this, he felt that Lu Xun still wanted to continue to be friends with him, but since Lu Xun didn’t knock on his door or call him last night, he should be hesitating.
Hesitant on whether to continue being friends with him, the gay bottom man, the number one best friend in the world.
It was good to let it fade naturally.
Ye Yao started a new day of tutoring work, during this day, he did not see Lu Xun.
Ye Yao was not surprised at all. In fact, in order to maintain the current relationship between them, he would say hello when they met, and he would not be too clingy to him at ordinary times. This was the best distance he wanted to achieve. Unexpectedly, it happened by accident.
Thinking about it this way made him even happier.
Ye Yao calmly finished the day’s tutoring work, and when the remedial class was over in the evening, he and Wang Xue went out together.
Wang Xue was going home after class, while he was going back to the dormitory by taxi.
Wang Xue talked to Ye Yao while walking: “Brother Yao, I’m not bragging, you and I are a good match, you can do whatever job you want, you don’t have to work hard for life, just do what you like. This kind of wonderful condition can’t be given by ordinary people ah!”
“Study hard, don’t be distracted by such things—” Ye Yao opened the door of the room, the words stopped abruptly in the middle of the sentence.
In the corridor between the door of his house and the elevator, a familiar figure was crouched there.
That figure had long hands and legs, and a face full of vigor and unrestrainedness, but now he squatted outside his door looking aggrieved, not knowing what he was thinking.
After seeing Ye Yao, Lu Xun quickly stood up and straightened his clothes. He glanced at Ye Yao’s face, then quickly looked away, staring at Ye Yao’s clothes.
“Let’s go back to school together?” Lu Xun asked in a muffled voice.
Ye Yao couldn’t believe it: “You waited for me here on purpose?”
He thought they were gentlemen’s relationship now, but Lu Xun was still waiting for him to go back to school together?
“Brother Yao, who is this person?” Wang Xue called out vigilantly.
“…My friend.” Ye Yao replied.
Lu Xun snorted, inexplicably upset.
Friends, a simple friendship, was their best friend relationship over?
And this high school student, what’s his name, called him Brother Yao. Could the name ‘Brother Yao’ be casually called by this damn high school student? What a scheming plan, not only he called Ye Yao by his more affectionate first name instead of his last name, but also added an honorific title after his name to make Ye Yao happy.
Lu Xun was planning to spend this time thinking about what he should do next , and what kind of distance between him and Ye Yao was the best.
Before he could fully think it over, he wanted to maintain a state of being respectful and courteous to each other in the most error-free way, so as not to hurt Ye Yao in the future.
But he didn’t expect that after a face-to-face meeting, his defense would already crumble!
Why was the distance between this damn male high school student and Ye Yao closer than the distance between him and Ye Yao! Wasn’t this person just an ordinary tutor student!
Lu Xun took a big stride forward. He looked at Ye Yao’s backpack, wondering if he should grab the bag and carry it on his back like usual.
Lu Xun endured and still chose a polite attitude first: “You have too many things, may I help you carry some?”
Ye Yao shook his head: “No need, let’s go.”
Lu Xun was rejected ruthlessly, and followed Ye Yao into the elevator with a blank expression.
The elevator wall was so bright that it could be used as a mirror. When Lu Xun saw Ye Yao’s hand hanging down next to his hand, he could have held it as long as he raised his own hand a little.
Lu Xun’s fingertips were itchy, and he clenched his hands into fists, so as not to hold Ye Yao against his will while he was not paying attention, and it would ruin everything.
But he has not been able to have close contact with Ye Yao for a long time.
Ye Yao didn’t take the initiative to touch him either.
Of course Ye Yao would not take the initiative to touch him.
Ye Yao must have been angry when he ran away last night.
Lu Xun’s mood was extremely sullen, he clenched his hands and then loosened them, then clenched them again.
Lu Xun struggled, waited for the taxi to return to school, and when he and Ye Yao were walking alone on the campus path, he quickly apologized.
“Last night…sorry, I shouldn’t have run away like that.” Lu Xun said, “You can punish me and scold me however you want.”
Ye Yao didn’t even realize what Lu Xun was talking about for a while, and when he thought about it, he said dumbfoundedly: “I’m not angry, you ran very well.”
If Lu Xun didn’t run away, he would have been in trouble later.
Presumably, it was already very good that Lu Xun had already figured it out, the distance he got along with now made him very comfortable.
Lu Xun was a little puzzled, but seeing Ye Yao not angry, he was a little relieved.
The evening breeze blew by, the leaves rustled.
In the past, when he and Ye Yao walked this campus path, either he put his arms around Ye Yao’s shoulders, or he would hold Ye Yao’s hand.
But now he could do nothing.
It was so hard, his heart was feeling empty and uncomfortable.
He longed for any contact with Ye Yao… as long as he could get closer.
Under the current situation, the only time he could get closer to Ye Yao was probably when he would be sleeping in the dormitory.
Although he could no longer sleep in the same bed, at least he could still face Ye Yao head to head, and he could see Ye Yao’s sleeping silhouette in the dark.
This was the only nectar that supported him.
After returning to the dormitory to wash, Lu Xun tiredly climbed into bed.
Soon, soon, he would be head to head with Ye Yao…
Crawling into bed, Lu Xun saw the image that made his breathing stop — Ye Yao moved the pillow to the other side of the bed, and now he was reading a book far away from him.
“What are you doing?” Lu Xun asked in shock.
“Ah?” Hearing the voice, Ye Yao looked away from the book, “I didn’t do anything? I just changed the pillow.”
Ye Yao looked at Lu Xun’s suddenly gloomy face, and raised his eyebrows: “Did you still think I will sleep like before? Things have been said so openly, let’s give up the illusions that shouldn’t be there, Lu Xun.”
———-
Zaki~ Xun Xun ah, hurry up and realize you’re also bent, otherwise, you’ll suffer a few more chapters tsk!
Hahahaha, Lu Xun, ahhh, you can’t be like this! Are we gonna get the angsty part now in Lu Xun’s side? Hahahahaha
**Thanks for the chapter update!
He’s so close to self-awareness, so so close
Thank you for the update ❤️💯
I want to crack LX’s head open, but he has a plus from me that he still want to cherish his relationship with YY after the truth!
Thank You for the new chapter -ω(´•ω•｀)♡
Thank you for the chapter
Aw Lu Xun is making me feel lonely for him! He had no idea that the big space occupied by Ye Yao was a best friend And romantic so he doesn’t understand why he’s missing more than friend stuff.
Lu Ming’s expression like he ate shit 😂😂 I bet we all look like that at some point in every chapter!
Thank you so much for the chapter!
Idk what to do with lu xun anymore. If notthing happened and went on with whatever they had when book started than he’d probably think of Ye Yao as his bestest of friend while having those thoughts about him
I can’t with this, he’s not allowing himself to even have thoughts of his closest friend or even wonder and exploring things about himself. FUCK LX’S GRANDPA!
Thanks for the chapter! 😘
Thanks for the chapter!
♥️♥️♥️