Among Xu Xingzhe’s numerous friends, Qian Sijia was the first to find out about his pursuit of romance. She believed people in love were all stupid and could tell at a glance. Xu Xingzhe didn’t deny it, shyly saying that he hadn’t succeeded because the person hadn’t agreed yet.
Qian Sijia pressed on, “Who wouldn’t be blind enough to refuse you?”
Xu Xingzhe gave up his stance entirely, pursed his lips, and said, “No, it’s because I haven’t tried hard enough. It’s not a problem with Lu Zhaoshen.”
Qian Sijia had no prior knowledge of Lu Zhaoshen. She had only seen his name on the honor roll before. Later, she actively asked her connections to find out more about this top student. He was smart and reserved, highly favored by the teachers, yet he maintained an average level of popularity among the students due to his quiet and unsociable nature. Suitors kept coming after him, but in the end, they all decided to give up.
“Xingxing, don’t waste your time, really. Is he worth it?”
In the summer of their second year of high school, Xu Xingzhe sat on the parallel bars, swinging his legs as he watched Lu Zhaoshen approach from afar. The teenagers on the soccer field exuded energy as cicadas chirped on the summer day. Tangerine sodas clinked together, and the sunlight scorched the vibrant green grass. Everything around exuded the discomfort of dry heat as the temperature rose.
Only Lu Zhaoshen remained undisturbed, like a cool breeze, much like his name.
“He is worth it. He actually likes me already, he’s just too embarrassed to say it.”
Qian Sijia also looked at Lu Zhaoshen, but all she saw was the indifference and aloofness on his handsome face, “Really? How come I can’t see it?”
Xu Xingzhe smiled and then deliberately leaned closer to Qian Sijia’s ear to appear intimate, “Do you think he’ll be jealous?”
“Using me as bait?”
Xu Xingzhe snorted, “So you’re allowed to use me? Don’t worry, even if Lu Zhaoshen gets jealous, he won’t chase you down two streets to kill you.”
Qian Sijia glanced at where Lu Zhaoshen had been standing out of the corner of her eye and told Xu Xingzhe, “Hey, hey! He’s gone!”
Xu Xingzhe froze and looked up only to see Lu Zhaoshen’s departing figure. He jumped off the parallel bars, nearly twisting his foot, and limped to where Lu Zhaoshen had gone, muttering repeatedly, “I’m screwed, I’m screwed, I’m screwed.”
Qian Sijia thought: These two are both screwed.
And so, Xu Xingzhe chased after him until the second semester of their third year of high school.
His relationship with Lu Zhaoshen evolved from initial incompatibility to reluctant acquiescence, then progressed to friends with benefits as they explored the mysteries of puberty together, and ultimately ended in ambiguity and unrequited love, like a dream full of regrets and without a happy ending.
At the beginning of the second semester of their third year of high school, Lu Zhaoshen cared more about Xu Xingzhe’s studies than Xu Xingzhe himself. To help Xu Xingzhe review, Lu Zhaoshen’s frequency of staying over increased. Xu Xingzhe often acted obedient and cute, exchanging kisses and hugs for help with his grades. Sometimes he would work on exam papers until one or two in the morning. If the next day was a weekend, he would pester Lu Zhaoshen to sleep with him.
He took off his shirt and used his legs to hook Lu Zhaoshen’s waist. Lu Zhaoshen propped himself up on top of him. He kissed him first, intertwining their lips and tongues, and making a slurping sound. Lu Zhaoshen used his lower body to press against Xu Xingzhe’s little buddy, then spread his thighs and slipped his hand inside. Xu Xingzhe quickly undressed completely and nestled into Lu Zhaoshen’s embrace. Lu Zhaoshen reminded him to take a condom. Captivated by the kiss, Xu Xingzhe reached out to open the drawer and pulled out the small box at the end. But when he opened it, there was nothing inside.
“Are they all used up?” Xu Xingzhe didn’t have time to wonder and left the responsibility to Lu Zhaoshen. His face was flushed and he had only one thought in his mind. He hugged Lu Zhaoshen’s neck, trying to please and seduce him, “Cum inside, I want it.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Xu Xingzhe was startled, “What?”
“Dad has found the best teacher for you who will give you one-on-one tutoring after you get out of school.”
“But—”
“Don’t disturb Lu Zhaoshen in the future. Don’t act foolish,” Xu Chengshan rubbed Xu Xingzhe’s head and said softly, “You two belong to different worlds.”
Xu Xingzhe didn’t understand. The same day, he went to see Lu Zhaoshen, but Lu Zhaoshen didn’t open the door for him and said he didn’t want to see him.
Xu Xingzhe didn’t know where he had gone wrong, so he started his life of pursuing again, and it has continued to this day.
Was it worth it? Nineteen-year-old Xu Xingzhe gave the same answer: Yes.
But he hadn’t expected Lu Zhaoshen to be the first hurdle.
*
Liking someone seemed to be something you couldn’t hide. The fixed glances, the inexplicable excitement, and the endless talk about the person all conveyed a message: I have someone I like.
Even though Xu Chengshan was busy working, he could still find clues from Xu Xingzhe’s few words. He also asked Qin Jiazhen, who said that Xu Xingzhe had been acting strangely lately, suddenly becoming more studious, and hadn’t been playing video games all the time. Xu Chengshan felt that something was wrong. He kept it from Qin Jiazhen and checked Xu Xingzhe’s room after he went to school. He found an unused box of condoms and a more than half-full bottle of lubricant in Xu Xingzhe’s bedside drawer.
Xu Chengshan was as if struck by lightning. In his eyes, Xu Xingzhe was still a child who had not grown up, mischievous and unruly and didn’t understand anything. But he had secretly grown up under his nose and done such absurd things.
Through the window, he saw Xu Xingzhe returning from school, carrying his school bag and hugging Lu Zhaoshen’s arm, jumping up and down as he came in, unable to hide the joy on his face.
An even more terrifying suspicion formed in Xu Chengshan’s mind. It was only during the night that the flirtatious sounds from the room confirmed his suspicion.
With the college entrance examination approaching, Xu Chengshan couldn’t open the door to confront him face-to-face; Xu Xingzhe might get frightened. So he had to wait until the middle of the night and call Lu Zhaoshen out.
This kid looked good, the kind of kid who was different and had a bright future that could be seen at a glance. In the face of Xu Chengshan’s questioning, he remained calm and composed, neither humble nor arrogant. If it weren’t for the twisted relationship between him and Xu Xingzhe, Xu Chengshan would have liked to train this child to become a member of his company.
Unfortunately, he was Xu Xingzhe’s father.
“When did it start? Who initiated it?”
Lu Zhaoshen stood in the center of the living room. Only the lights in the middle of the living room were on, casting light on Lu Zhaoshen’s face like an interrogation. Without much hesitation, he replied directly, “At the beginning of this year. I initiated it.”
Xu Chengshan furrowed his brow, took off his glasses, and sighed, “At your age, it’s easy to make mistakes due to impulsiveness or lack of understanding. You mistakenly place yourself in a certain community and become convinced of it. But many years later, when you look back, you’ll realize that it was all very naive.”
Xu Chengshan’s tone was not aggressive, it could even be considered friendly. He said indirectly, “Uncle also knew such people. Later, as they grew older, they woke up to reality, got married, and had children like normal people. They are happy now.”
Lu Zhaoshen remained silent, his fingers tightly clenched together.
Xu Chengshan changed his strategy, “Do you think your father can accept you like this? He told me in the car yesterday that he has no expectations in this life, he just wants to be by your side, watch you grow up, and start your own family and career. How painful would it be for him to know that you did something so outrageous?”
“As for whether your father will keep his job, I hope you will think hard until you are able to support yourself.”
Lu Zhaoshen felt an undeniable intimidation in Xu Chengshan’s calm words. Xu Chengshan couldn’t be considered wealthy, nor could he manipulate things with his power, but he could still easily destroy a single-parent family that had just crossed the poverty line.
“You’ve worked hard tutoring Xingzhe during this time. This is your reward, take it.”
Xu Chengshan handed him a thick envelope. Lu Zhaoshen didn’t reach out, nor did he lower his head.
Xu Chengshan smiled and suddenly asked, “Actually, it was Xingzhe who initiated it, right?”
“No.”
“He’s still childish, always eager to try new things, but he can’t stick with anything. Don’t go along with his foolishness.”
After Xu Chengshan went back to his room, Lu Zhaoshen stood alone in the living room of the Xu’s house for a long time. He intended to wait until daybreak to go straight to school.
Around five o’clock, as dawn approached, a faint ray of daylight shone into the living room and fell on the white envelope on the coffee table.
It was a bulging and thick envelope, the equivalent of Lu Guoyuan’s salary for several months.
Lu Zhaoshen picked up his school bag to leave, but he stopped at the doorway. Suddenly, driven by a surge of emotions, he walked all the way back to Xu Xingzhe’s bedroom. He opened the door and found Xu Xingzhe sleeping soundly on the bed. He was only wearing a pajama top with no pants, and his legs were dangling carelessly outside the blanket. Lu Zhaoshen tucked him properly in. Xu Xingzhe sank into the soft bed, looking well-behaved with his messy hair, chubby cheeks, and slightly raised upper lip.
Xu Xingzhe was always well-behaved in bed, so well-behaved that it was unbearable. Even when he took the initiative, he didn’t seem coquettish. Lu Zhaoshen remembered their first time together. Xu Xingzhe did the cleaning with unfamiliarity. Then he crawled butt naked into Lu Zhaoshen’s arms and buried his face in Lu Zhaoshen’s neck. He shyly said, “That’s enough, you can come in now.”
He endured the pain without saying a word, even when he bit his lips until they bled. He was afraid that Lu Zhaoshen would dislike his crying and find it annoying. But later, Lu Zhaoshen found out and kissed him tenderly, slowing down his pace. Only then did Xu Xingzhe cry out his grievances.
“Little fool.”
Lu Zhaoshen leaned down to kiss Xu Xingzhe’s lips, then pulled back after less than two seconds.
Lu Zhaoshen used to enjoy solitude. He had no interest in chatting or socializing. He could read books and watch movies by himself, or play with Duoduo for the whole afternoon without feeling lonely. However, after meeting Xu Xingzhe, he found that having fun by himself had become somewhat lonely. Silence had become a negative term that would swallow him up once it grew. He realized that happiness was doubled when shared with someone, and sadness was lessened when accompanied by someone.
It turned out that one person could invade another’s life so thoroughly, especially at this age when one was most easily tempted.
“Xingxing, I’m sorry.”
For meeting someone as useless as me.
Later, every day after school, Xu Xingzhe would run up to the third floor and squat at the door of Class 12 to block Lu Zhaoshen. However, Lu Zhaoshen seemed to have found a way to avoid evening self-study altogether. Unable to meet him, Xu Xingzhe gradually gave up.
After that, he asked a student from Class 12 to deliver a letter to Lu Zhaoshen. It read: Lu Zhaoshen, why don’t you want me anymore? What did I do wrong? Tell me, I will change.
There were marks left by water on the side, presumably from Xu Xingzhe’s tears.
Lu Zhaoshen didn’t write back.
Xicheng No. 1 High School only had a few school buildings, and Classes 5 and 12 were just one floor apart. But if someone didn’t want to meet, it was really difficult to meet.
Xu Xingzhe’s patience was wearing thin.
After a period of giving up on himself, he got back on track with his studies. Xu Chengshan arranged a private tutor for him, and Qian Sijia provided him with many notes and mistake collections. Xu Xingzhe recalled Lu Zhaoshen’s words, “Your future is more important”, so he worked hard. However, he rarely smiled anymore and was no longer mischievous and playful.
After the college entrance exam scores came out, he squatted downstairs at Lu Zhaoshen’s house all night. He drifted off to sleep after midnight. When he woke up, he found himself lying on Lu Zhaoshen’s bed. Lu Zhaoshen was sitting by the bed watching him. Xu Xingzhe burst into tears instantly and said, “I regret liking you.”
Lu Zhaoshen turned his head to look away. His profile was hidden in the shadows, and Xu Xingzhe couldn’t see his expression.
As harsh as his words were, his heart was still soft. Xu Xingzhe hugged Lu Zhaoshen’s waist while sobbing and asked, “Which university are you going to? I want to know.”
Lu Zhaoshen reached out and rubbed the back of Xu Xingzhe’s neck like he was comforting a puppy, “Xingzhe—”
Xu Xingzhe held up three fingers and vowed, “I promise, after going to university, I won’t cling to you like I did before. I’ll behave myself, keep my distance from you in front of others, and not tell anyone about our relationship.”
Lu Zhaoshen held Xu Xingzhe’s hand and clasped his fingers in his palm. He said, “I applied to Nangang University to study finance.”
Upon hearing this, Xu Xingzhe became angry, “Do you hate me that much? You know I’m allergic to seafood, yet you choose to go to a coastal city for university.”
He didn’t notice Lu Zhaoshen’s slightly surprised expression. He continued to vent, burying his head in Lu Zhaoshen’s arms, and said fiercely, “Forget it, I won’t argue with you. Lu Zhaoshen, you owe me too much to repay me in this life.”
“In the next life, it’s your turn to chase me.”
Thank You for the new chapter ლ(´ ❥ `ლ)
.·°՞(≧□≦)՞°·. I want them to be happy and together
So heart-wrenching 😭😭
Ugh. Poor babies.