It was nearly ten o’clock by the time Gu Qingchi woke up the next morning. The curtains were drawn, but they didn’t block out much light. The room was brightly lit by the sun.
He slowly sat up. He could still feel some pain from the wound on his leg.
Gu Qingchi usually took his time making his way down the stairs, but, today, he took a rare trip on the elevator. Mrs. Gu saw him getting off the elevator and anxiously stood up to help him.
“Why did you walk down by yourself? Where’s the wheelchair from yesterday? You should use it.”
Gu Qingchi seemed to be in good shape today. He was in high spirits.
“I took the elevator, so it’s okay.”
Mr. Gu and Gu Xie hadn’t gone to work today, both of them sitting in the living room with their laptops in front of them. If there wasn’t anything majorly important at the company, most of their work could be done at home. Upon seeing Gu Qingchi, Mr. Gu got up and went to the kitchen to warm up breakfast for him.
Gu Xie paused for a moment and glanced at Gu Qingchi. Once he confirmed that there was nothing wrong, he got up and poured him a glass of milk before returning to his typing.
They all acted as if nothing had happened, as if the incident yesterday was just an ordinary injury. They took care of him, but they didn’t ask too many questions.
Upon finishing his meal, Gu Qingchi began to drink his milk in small sips. Mrs. Gu then spoke up, seemingly inadvertently.
“Good boy, have you taken your medicine today? Is your prescription still sertraline?”
Mrs. Gu gently petted the cat in her arms, not looking at Gu Qingchi. No matter how they tried to hide it from her, she was still going to notice the empty pill organizers that were cleared out every once in a while.
The room seemed to go quiet all of a sudden, and the atmosphere froze. This had always been a sensitive topic for the family. Gu Qingchi didn’t like to mention it, so they wouldn’t bring it up. They would simply count the pills in the pill organizer every now and then to check whether he had taken his pills and whether he had taken the right amount.
If the numbers didn’t add up, they would be riddled with anxiety for quite a while.
Xie Luyu had emphasized several times to them that the medicine should not be stopped nor should it be taken indiscriminately back when they first reunited with Gu Qingchi. He said that they needed to keep an eye on him and make sure he took his medicine on time.
Xie Luyu was well-versed in this regard. He explained the reasons and gave many examples. In the beginning, Mr. Gu couldn’t even sleep at night due to nerves. Fortunately, Gu Qingchi had a habit of throwing out his pill boxes. Mr. Gu would count the pill boxes and infer the number of pills he’d taken. It was only then that he was able to relax.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
However, he’d never actually gotten involved as a family member.
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“I’ve already gone through all of my medicine, and I haven’t bothered to refill it. I’ll have to ask the doctor about it some other day.”
Gu Qingchi, whose head was so low it was almost submerged in his milk, immediately turned his head and spoke sternly.
“You can’t stop taking your medicine. You have to get it refilled right away.”
Gu Qingchi stood up, raring to go.
“We should go now.”
Gu Qingchi’s doctor had emphasized many times to him that he shouldn’t stop taking his medicine. He didn’t like to take his medicine. He always felt out of sorts after taking his medicine. Sometimes, he’d feel like he was getting better and not take his medicine. Sometimes, he would forget.
He thought of it as whatever when it came to himself, but he found it to be a very serious matter when it came to Mrs. Gu.
It didn’t even matter that she wasn’t depressed.
Mrs. Gu froze for a moment. She shot Mr. Gu a look.
Mr. Gu covered for her.
“Have you forgotten? I picked up your medicine yesterday.”
Mrs. Gu proceeded to act as if she’d just remembered.
“Oh! I remember now. If you hadn’t told me, I would’ve forgotten about it.”
Mrs. Gu waited for Gu Qingchi to sit down. She then tried to bring the topic back on course.
“How’s my good boy been feeling lately? If you don’t feel good, why don’t we talk to the doctor and see if we can switch to a different prescription? Mood stabilizers might also be able to help. I used to take them.”
Gu Qingchi didn’t feel so repulsed by this topic after such an interruption.
“I feel alright. I think this prescription is okay. I don’t feel sleepy or uncomfortable after taking it. I’ve also got mood stabilizers already. I’m taking olanzapine.”
In all honesty, the medicine he was currently taking wasn’t great either, but, compared to other types of drugs, sertraline had relatively minor side effects for Gu Qingchi.
He’s tried other prescriptions, but they always made him feel dazed and muddleheaded. He’d often go through the entire day without any awareness of what was going on, so he asked the doctor to switch his prescription. In the end, they landed on sertraline. He didn’t struggle much with sertraline’s other side effects, but he did struggle with getting up in the morning. It would take him a very long time to wake up.
Mrs. Gu listened carefully and nodded. Mrs. Gu then spoke.
“Mom’s medicine is with Dad. How about you hand your medicine over to Dad too? Dad will remind us to take our medicine, and we can take our medicine together.”
Mrs. Gu had hardly concealed her motives at all, as if she were coaxing a child.
Gu Qingchi knew what Mrs. Gu was trying to do. It was nothing more than an attempt to keep an eye on him while he took his medicine.
He glanced at Mr. Gu and hesitantly nodded.
He’d put all his effort into crawling out of that place, and, now that someone was willing to give him a hand, he had no reason not to grab on tight.
He would take his medicine, even if it made him uncomfortable, even if it made him groggy all day long. He would live well, eat well, do whatever made him happy. He’d live well. He wouldn’t go to high places. He would try his best to ignore anything sharp.
If he took his medicine, he would be fine.
⁂
Mr. Gu dumped Mrs. Gu’s medicine. He replaced it with vitamins and calcium tablets.
Gu Qingchi’s medicine was then cut into pieces. Mr. Gu put them back into the box, one by one, counting the pills as he went.
“He’s got enough medicine for another half a month.”
Mr. Gu spoke to Mrs. Gu, who was sitting on the edge of the bed.
“We should make some congee every night from now on since this medicine isn’t good for the stomach.”
Mrs. Gu hummed in response.
“I’ll keep an eye on him when he takes his medicine. I’ll watch him take his medicine every day.”
It wasn’t long before Mrs. Gu spoke up again.
“Say, do you think he did that because he forgot to take his medicine?”
Mr. Gu turned to look at Mrs. Gu.
The two of them looked at each other. They both knew exactly what she was referring to.
Mr. Gu carefully put the medicine back in his desk drawer.
“He won’t be forgetting again.”
Translator’s Note:
Many of the commenters under this chapter were talking about their own medications and their side effects. Lots of them mentioned their medication causing them to feel really sleepy or gain weight. It was interesting to read some first hand accounts.
On another note, there have been many comments on this novel relating to Gu Qingchi, both on JJWXC and here on CG. So many people related to his difficulties and shared their own experiences with depression and I just want you to know that things can get better. Gu Qingchi’s been doing better and better, and we can too! I’m rooting for you always.
(｡・‧̫・｡).*＊♡ to everyone
I love how Mrs Gu threw herself under the bus to tell her son that it’s normal to take medicine for mental health. So wholesome QAQ Thanks for translating 💐
Thank you for the update ❤️💯
Thx for the ch (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘)
Needing meds to prevent a flare-up of a chronic condition like arthritis is not a personal failing.
When you first start mental health meds, it’s scary because you imagine “turning into someone else”, and you don’t know if you’ll like that person. Then you wonder if the side effects will worsen the depression. It doesn’t help that the only way to know if it works for you is to spend a week or two on it, tinkering with dosages.
The wrong dose, and you can start feeling like a zombie, and that not only the depression is kept away from you, but also things like happiness, interest, desire, and hunger.
I’m glad Gu Qingchi found a good medication for him without too many bad side effects. Medication can be scary and can make your problems much worse if it’s not the right one for you.
That was so sweet 🥹 I wish everyone was as sensible as his family
Thank you for the update.
This story hits so close to home. I also take Setraline, I started from 25mg now I’m on 100mg daily. Though I struggle with waking up (weird since I suffer from insomnia), I find it easier to enjoy my day. I also take amytripyline, it’s an old antidepressant. It helps with insomnia and constant headaches.
The right drugs make life bearable.
I hope you are doing well now. Sending hugs
I’m doing much better! Thank you.
This means a lot to me
Yes, it can always be better, baby steps, every, even teeny-tiny success is worthy and great! Meds aren’t something shamefull, nor is illiness
Thank You for the new chapter (๑╹ڡ╹)╭ ～ ♡
Thanks for the update!
Sending hugs to everyone ❤❤❤
This and the previous chapters were so eye opening. With mental health disorders some days it feels like you’re happy and some days you feel all alone. You have to keep going. Like GQC says “live well, eat well and do whatever that makes (him/you) happy”!!
As someone who’s been depressed, reading about how Gu Qingchi is getting alot better gave me a sense of hope too, it’s so warm and fuzzy how they took care of him, it makes me feel cared too (prolly coz I unconsciously associated Gu Qingchi’s depression to mine) I love this so much
I stopped reading this a long while back because the translation wasn’t finished, and reading the parts where he was really struggling and having to stop there wasn’t healthy for me. It was actually incredibly hard to make myself stop following the updates, because like I said – when I’m reading this, GQC feels like a real person to me. It was really hard to make myself forget about it o I wouldn’t keep checking for updates. But in the end I did it for the sake of my own mental health. So when I saw on Novel Updates that the translation was completed, I was very excited. I’m reading it in one go now, so that I don’t have to worry about needing to stop at a point where GQC is extremely down and having it affect my mood.
This is one of the best -if not the best -works of fiction that deals with depression, anxiety, and mental health that I’ve ever read. Which makes it incredibly impactful and meaningful to someone like me. I’m looking forward to watching GQC continuing to travel down the road to recovery and seeing him get his happy ending.
Thanks for translating!
It’s good to read that Chi chi is getting better!
Thank you for the chapter!
I once took medication that left me passed out for 14 hours, it should not be used to brag, but I can take strong medicine and don’t feel groggy!
I love how real these chapters on depression have been. Either the author has personal experience, someone close to them, or they work in the field. I hate reading these things bc it makes me sad but I LOVE how honest it is. It’s not glossed over, it shows that falling happens, but also talks about how he tries so hard to get better. That is the truth. Sometimes you try really hard but take a tumble, only to get back up and try again.