HI GUYS I AM STILL ALIVE LOL
When it was time to go home, Liang Muqiu’s vision was blurry but he stood up straight. Although his face was dyed like peach blossoms, he was still quite intimidating, as if he was completely sober.
Song Wei couldn’t figure out how much he drank but brought him to the car and helped him inside. The driver was sitting in the front seat but Song Wei was still uneasy and asked, “Can you go back by yourself? Do you want me to drive you home?”
Liang Muqiu was lying in the backseat, his eyes wet after drinking. His eyes met Song Wei’s with an indescribable seductive taste.
On the other hand, his mouth was asking for a beating. “With your thin arms and legs? Can you even help me? I’m afraid you’ll be robbed instead.”
Song Wei’s teeth itched.
He saw Liang Muqiu holding his chin with one hand and even though his eyes were somewhat hazy, he guessed that this drunkard still retained consciousness.
He closed the car door. “Get out of here and send me a message when you reach home.”
Liang Muqiu nodded coldly. Song Wei waved at him, gesturing for him to get out of his sight.
Song Wei was both amused and annoyed at the same time.
It was already late and the roads weren’t crowded so the car soon arrived at the base of Liang Muqiu’s apartment.
He paid the fare to the driver with what remaining sobriety he had and locked the car himself. Taking out the car keys, he staggered to the elevator.
However, when he arrived at his door, he couldn’t open it. His fingerprints were declined several times and the screen remained unchanged.
His muddled brain also couldn’t remember the passcode.
After several failed attempts, a long beep sounded and his house was automatically locked.
Liang Muqiu was stunned and realised afterwards that he seemed to be locked out of his own house.
Undeterred, he pressed the lock a few more times but it continued ringing out and he eventually got annoyed.
Liang Muqiu couldn’t do anything else. He couldn’t ask Edamame to open the door for him. At this point, Edamame, an elderly dog with a sleep schedule, had probably already entered the kennel to rest.
He thought, fortunately, he prepared dinner for Edamame. At least his son wasn’t starving.
He couldn’t stand steadily and simply sat on the ground.
He didn’t know what to do now and his mind was chaotic. The night breeze also failed to clear his mind.
Once drunk, people lost their sense.
He forgot that he could go to Song Wei or that he could stay in a hotel. Instead, he simply wondered if he should sleep at the door.
He had dwelled at the door for less than two minutes when the door opposite him suddenly swung open.
From inside, a tall and cold handsome man wearing grey home clothes stepped out and frowned at him.
Liang Muqiu thought, wow, this handsome guy looks like my boyfriend.
He watched the handsome guy slowly approach and reach out to touch his forehead. He heard the other ask in a low voice, “What are you doing outside and why did you drink so much alcohol? Aren’t you afraid of catching a cold?”
Liang Muqiu was startled when he heard Cen Nan’s voice.
He stared at Cen Nan’s face and didn’t answer but his eyes blinked.
He remembered that the handsome man in front of him was not just like his boyfriend.
It was his boyfriend.
Cen Nan didn’t know what the drunkard in front of him was thinking. He only smelled the pungent perfume mixed with alcohol from Liang Muqiu’s body.
Countless people were approaching Liang Muqiu in a place he couldn’t see.
It made his heart ache a little.
He glanced at the closed door behind Liang Muqiu and vaguely guessed that the little drunkard was locked out of his own house.
Probably due to the effect of alcohol, Liang Muqiu had put aside his indifferent attitude from the past two days and was leaning against the door, staring at him without blinking.
His face was like a peach blossom with clear eyes. He had taken off the small leather jacket in the car, leaving behind only the clean white shirt, looking very much like his first love when he was eighteen.
At that time, Liang Muqiu was also like this, staring at him like he had done something wrong with all his inner thoughts displayed in his eyes.
Cen Nan sighed and squatted in front of Liang Muqiu, “You can’t enter the house and I don’t know your password. Shall I take you back to my house first?”
Liang Muqiu was still staring at him obsessively, neither agreeing nor refusing.
And Cen Nan didn’t need an answer at all.
He was just asking casually.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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He took Liang Muqiu into his house. The entrance lights were shining brightly and there were two guest rooms in the house but he carried Liang Muqiu directly into the master bedroom and placed him on the bed.
The lights in the master bedroom weren’t switched on and the bedside lamps glowed softly.
Cen Nan helped Liang Muqiu unbutton his shirt, completely forgetting his obsession with cleanliness. He stuffed the person into the quilt, took a towel soaked in warm water and wiped Liang Muqiu’s hands and face. His actions were very careful and gentle as if he was afraid of hurting him.
Liang Muqiu half opened his eyes and looked at Cen Nan in the dim light.
He was really drunk.
For a moment, he couldn’t even tell what year and time it was. The one taking care of him attentively was Cen Nan.
It was the same Cen Nan who held him to the highest position in his heart.
But it was also the same Cen Nan who left him to suffer alone.
He couldn’t tell.
He stared intently at Cen Nan, thinking that Cen Nan was born very good-looking. When Cen Nan transferred during his third year of high school, the cicadas in the summer were chirping and the sunlight was shining through the green foliage into the classroom. The young man in white was as straight as a bamboo pole and took a casual glance at him sitting by the window.
At that time, he didn’t know the power of this casual glance, nor did he know how many years he would spend on this person.
He only thought quietly in his heart, this transfer student is really beautiful.
The same was true today.
In the dimly lit bedroom, he couldn’t help leaning into Cen Nan’s hand, like a wet cat on a rainy day seeking affection from him.
He forgot all those years of waiting and suffering.
He only remembered the heat on his lips when this man kissed him.
“Cen Nan…” He whispered and closed his eyes, “Cen Nan.”
Cen Nan’s hand trembled.
His palm was resting against his face. Very hot and soft.
Since their reunion, he had longed for Liang Muqiu to call out to him just like this countless times, to look at him again with trust, as if the seven years of separation had never occurred.
His Adam’s apple bobbed. He stared at Liang Muqiu with complicated thoughts. An unknown number of filthy thoughts were hidden in his heart, each one enough to make Liang Muqiu call the police.
He forced himself to endure and slowly withdrew his hand from Liang Muqiu’s face.
“I’m going to pour some water for you, take some medicine and go to sleep.”
He pretended to be calm and got up from the bed.
He was afraid that if he didn’t leave, he would do something that would make Liang Muqiu resent him.
The warm temperature on the side of his face disappeared.
Liang Muqiu lay on the bed with his eyes opened blankly. His hands grabbed forward subconsciously as he watched Cen Nan leave the room. His throat felt like it was blocked with a ball of cotton.
He didn’t want Cen Nan to leave. His heart was suspended in midair but he couldn’t say a word.
He watched him leave. The door was half open and he was the only one left in the bedroom.
Liang Muqiu’s heart sank.
He slowly sat up from his bed and looked at the strange yet familiar bedroom and his mind cleared up a little.
He glanced around the room blankly and his eyes fell on the bedside table. There was a photo frame and inside it were two young men with beaming expressions.
Liang Muqiu picked up the frame and looked closely.
He recognized his twenty-two year old self in the photo wearing a small black coat and sticking to Cen Nan without any shame. He smiled foolishly at Cen Nan and wasn’t looking at the camera at all even though they were taking a picture. His eyes were glued to Cen Nan the whole time.
On the other hand, Cen Nan was calm, naturally reserved and cold, but if you looked closely, you would notice their tightly intertwined fingers and an imperceptible smile on the corner of his mouth, softer than the spring light.
Liang Muqiu looked down at the photo and couldn’t remember where it was taken.
But he remembered.
It wasn’t the eighteen year old Liang Muqiu who was secretly crushing on Cen Nan.
Nor was it the twenty year old Liang Muqiu who had been spoiled to lawlessness by Cen Nan.
This was the seventh year since they broke up.
Just now, he had the illusion of being in a different time because this bedroom was arranged similarly to the bedroom of the apartment they shared during university.
Liang Muqiu smiled softly as his tears dripped onto the photo.
Cen Nan. Cen Nan.
He didn’t understand…
Cen Nan filled up the water outside and stood in the hallway for a moment to clear his mind before returning to the bedroom with the water and the medicine.
But as soon as he entered the door, he saw the person who should have been drunk sitting on the bed. Hearing his movements, Liang Muqiu raised his eyes to look at Cen Nan. His face was still red but his eyes were much clearer.
And in Liang Muqiu’s hand, was the photo that should have been on the bedside table.
Cen Nan’s heart jolted and a bad premonition rose within him.
But he still pretended nothing was wrong and walked over and put the tray down.
“Drink some water and take the medicine, or you’ll have a headache tomorrow.” He knelt in front of Liang Muqiu and handed him the water and the medicine.
Liang Muqiu was silent.
He looked at Cen Nan’s open palm. The hangover medicine was white, reminding him of the sleeping pills he took for two years following Cen Nan’s departure. When he suffered from insomnia, he would take one each day. Each one would ensure a dreamless sleep.
Now he didn’t need to take sleeping pills to fall asleep.
He suddenly laughed a little, his eyes even more reddened, “Cen Nan, what are you doing? I thought we agreed not to have a connection.”
He was laughing but his voice was shaking. He was drunk, he had a reason to go crazy.
It didn’t count after dawn anyway.
“You’ve done a lot of unnecessary things after you returned to China. You moved opposite me, bandaged my hand when I broke it, picked me up when I was drunk and took me home. But we can’t be friends, we can’t be old classmates either, I don’t want you to do all this.”
Tears fell from his eyes, dripping onto his lap and vanishing into the black fabric.
He stared at Cen Nan, “Do you feel guilty towards me, pity me, or …”
He didn’t continue.
The medicine and the cup of water both fell onto the light-coloured carpet and Cen Nan rushed forward to trap him between his arms.
The two people faced each other, one pair of eyes hazy with tears and the other hiding a mountain of rain.
Cen Nan also stared at him, his eyes terrifyingly dark, “I never wanted to be friends with you, I only want to be your lover.”
Who wants to be friends?
Whether it was his first encounter in high school or his reunion now, he never wanted to be friends with Liang Muqiu.
When he saw Liang Muqiu when he was eighteen, he just wanted to press him against the window and kiss the person.
Liang Muqiu trembled in his arms.
He was frightened by Cen Nan’s eyes and for a moment he remembered the lie he had told and panicked, “It’s too late… I have a boyfriend.”
When he met Cen Nan in the car that time, he had mistaken Song Wei for his boyfriend.
But instead, he heard Cen Nan laugh contemptuously, “Qiuqiu, do you really think I can’t recognise Song Wei?”
He moved slightly closer until they were nose to nose, “Don’t say you have a boyfriend. Even if you do, I’m still going to steal you away.”
This was the only person he had ever loved in his life, he wasn’t letting go so easily.
But when they met, he realized that it was all a joke.
Who could give his lover away?
“I take care of you, cook for you, and worry about you getting sick, all because I love you. I deliberately moved into this house. Every day I push the door open, I look forward to seeing you and after talking to you, I would be pleased all day.”
They hadn’t seen each other for seven years so he didn’t want to push Liang Muqiu too hard.
But when he saw the make-up on his white shirt, even though he didn’t know whose it was and could be a random person’s, his heart still burned into a wasteland with jealousy.
He couldn’t stand it anymore.
He had been pretending to be gentle for a long time, to the point where even he believed himself, but he wasn’t such a person.
The bedroom was silent for a while.
The water that splashed on the carpet had become cold.
Liang Muqiu turned his face away and didn’t look at Cen Nan.
He sniffled and said, “Stop joking, how can we be together again?”
“Back then, I misunderstood that you were engaged to Ruan Zhuxian, and it was indeed my fault. But you wanted to stay abroad and broke up with me, that’s a fact. What’s wrong with you now? Do you regret it?”
Liang Muqiu laughed again. He asked Cen Nan with tears in his eyes, “But what makes you think that just because you regret it, I’ll agree? Did you miss me when you left? I said I could go find you, that I could stay with you abroad. You didn’t want me.”
It was Cen Nan who didn’t want him.
When his documents for going abroad were scattered all over the floor when he was weeping under the tree, where was Cen Nan?
“It’s too late,” he said to Cen Nan hoarsely, “The two of us, forget it.”
After all these years, whether they had fate or not, there was only one sentence remaining; forget it.
Liang Muqiu took a deep breath and wiped his tears to make himself look less disgraceful. He was really sober now.
He put his hand on Cen Nan’s chest and pushed gently, wanting to leave. Staying in this bedroom would make him even more hollow on the inside.
But he couldn’t push Cen Nan away.
His hand was firmly grasped by Cen Nan.
In a flash, he was pressed onto the bed and the next second, his lips were kissed fiercely.
Cen Nan was kissing him.
In Liang Muqiu’s mind, the sentence flashed in his mind and in panic, he struggled subconsciously.
But compared to Cen Nan, his strength was not even worth mentioning. He was tightly imprisoned on the bed by Cen Nan. The bodies of two adult men were struggling and pressing together and the silk covers underneath them were twisted into various forms.
Cen Nan was kissing him savagely. Liang Muqiu bit his lips and instantly tasted blood but the man still didn’t let go. Like a beast locking onto its prey, he would never let go unless he died.
Liang Muqiu couldn’t resist and his body softened, turning into a puddle of water on the bed.
He blinked and tears streamed down the corners of his eyes.
He didn’t know how long it took before Cen Nan let go of him.
Cen Nan was still clutching his wrist in a deathly grip and looking down at him. He obviously had a gentle and handsome face. He had been elegant and refined since high school, but now the corner of his mouth was stained with blood and his appearance became fierce and violent. It seemed he had finally taken off the skin of a modest gentleman and revealed the hidden beast in him.
Liang Muqiu chuckled.
When they reunited, Cen Nan withdrew all his sharp edges and became mild and harmless, making him forget that the person had never been humble and courteous to begin with.
This aggressive Cen Nan would never stop until he got what he wanted.
Cen Nan looked at Liang Muqiu who was confined in his arms. The corner of his mouth was bitten by Liang Muqiu but this trace of blood sobered him up.
He lowered his head and leaned close to Liang Muqiu, whispering, “I won’t try to beg you for forgiveness. I was cowardly and selfish and cut off all our ties with my own hands, losing you for seven years. It’s all my fault, I won’t justify myself.”
“I just want to ask for a chance to redeem myself. This time, you are the master.” He looked at Liang Muqiu, his voice more beguiling than the siren who tempted the sailor, “You can torture me, watch me struggle in pain for you, and take revenge for all the pain I’ve given you for seven years.”
“All you have to do is show me a little love and I’ll wag my tail for you.”
After that, he kissed Liang Muqiu, much gentler than the fierce kiss he had just given.
“Qiuqiu, do you want to try?” He said, “I’m not going to resist, you can do anything to me.”
He smiled at Liang Muqiu. The popular and gentle eighteen year old boy had now grown into a mature man who could do anything.
Liang Muqiu’s chest heaved violently.
Do you want to try it?
Cen Nan had always been holding him tightly. He could see through the secrets he hid at the bottom of his heart at a glance.
He bit his lower lip, exerted all his strength and pushed Cen Nan away desperately and fled from the bed in a panic.
“I want to go back.”
This time, Cen Nan didn’t stop him.
Just like when they parted at his house a few days ago, Cen Nan followed him to the door. When he opened the door in a panic, Cen Nan said from behind him, “Think about it, Qiuqiu.”
Liang Muqiu didn’t dare to listen anymore and twisted the door open, running away instantly without even closing the door.
Cen Nan watched him stumble and flee from behind until he finally opened his own door and hid inside.
Since he came back, he had faced Liang Muqiu’s back countless times.
There was a loud “bang”.
The madness, the kissing and the entanglement that happened a few moments ago were shut out as if nothing had happened.
Updates will be regular from now yayyy! Ngl, this semester was really hard because I picked up other responsibilities and translating itself takes up hours so it was kinda difficult to juggle everything. But this chapter is quite long so I hope its satisfying lol
Also, I know the novel has 2 modern tags hahahah I removed one of it but it still appears that way so I was just like urm okay and just left it. Hope it doesn’t bother ya’all too much 
Steal? Take care of him? Reunite? Don’t joke CN, I don’t know if you diserve another chance (눈_눈) I’m proud of our little LMQ that he said all CN’s falut in his face! Go baby, kick him! ╭( ･ㅂ･)و
Thank You for the new chapter (•‾⌣‾•)و ̑̑♡ Good to see You again, hope everything is all right at Your side! Take care and good luck with Your studies! ❤💙
Thank you for the update.😘
[it’s good to know that we are reading a novel translated by a living person.]
😛
Thank you for your hard work!! 🤍💛
Reading this made me happy despite the slight angst. 😆
welcome back and thanks for the chapter! heh… looking forward to the grovelling
I kinda don’t want them to get back together. Just because I wanna torture myself with the angst and cry. 🤣
I bet he’s gonna forgive him easily and go back as if nothing had happened 😭😭 it always ends like this
😟😖
Where is my consent bro 😭
Can someones explain why do I like to read angsty stories after experiencing angst irl? Am I a masochist lol