Translator: phizzlepop
Editor: mantou
Everyone gave a start, and Qi Yan who’d entered the room last reacted swiftly, wanting to slide the balcony door shut. But, as soon as his feet moved, the uninvited guest over there suddenly tried once again, having another go at the same spot on the glass!
Dong!
The cracks spread outwards, the fractures now encompassing the entirety of the glass.
Everyone in the room drew a cold breath. Zhou Yilu slowly unsheathed his knife, while Qiao Siqi and Qi Yan’s knives were already in their hands, and Song Fei flicked open his fan with a hula!
The third time.
Huala—
The entire sheet of glass shattered with this sound.
The face of this uninvited guest was now riddled with several shards of broken glass widely varying in size, yet the person in question seemed wholly unaware of this. Seeing that the obstacle was gone, he immediately rushed in!
The glass hadn’t completely broken off clean, and some of it was still attached around the frame, jutting out. He scraped past them on his rampage, knocking these pieces off, sending them flying in all directions!
Qi Yan was the closest, twisting to the side as a fragment swept past his cheek, narrowly missing him. By the time he turned back, the uninvited guest was already right in front of him!
Qi Yan wanted to use his knife, but his opponent had already closed in, so there was no way for him to raise his arm at all!
Just as he was thinking this, a whirlwind of black came from diagonally behind him, delivering a flying kick straight to the side of the uninvited guest’s waist!
The uninvited guest’s slightly thin frame didn’t appear as though it’d be able to handle something like this at all, as it slammed into the desk beside him, the force causing his upper body to directly lurch backwards, hovering over the desk!
Just when everyone thought that he’d be off-kilter for at least a little while, unable to straighten back up, that person grazed the tabletop like a dragonfly skimming the surface of the water, leveraging the force to flip his upper body back up an unbelievable 180° instead of fumbling from being thrown off-balance, actually regaining his footing.
This entire process flowed smoothly and seamlessly!
“That’s a f*cking snake spirit, ba…”
This incredible flexibility left Luo Geng, Qiao Siqi and Zhou Yilu stupefied.
Qi Yan and Song Fei, however, had long anticipated this, one raising a 1.8m leg to fiercely kick the opponent’s chest, while the other sprang forward the moment their opponent was sent careening backwards, the scarlet fan in his left hand blocking the opponent’s face, as his entire weight was concentrated on the opponent’s body, pressing him back!
The uninvited guest clutched Song Fei’s arm tightly with both hands, as though attempting to pry the fan away, yet also like a conditioned reflex from his body trying to maintain its balance!
Without giving the opponent the opportunity to do so, Song Fei single-mindedly pushed forward with zero intention of maintaining his own balance!
With a guangdang, the uninvited guest toppled to the ground, landing on his back.
Song Fei was now on top straddling him, a silvery-white metal chopstick in his right hand that he’d acquired at some point in time.
A flash of cold light!
The fan in his left hand had already been withdrawn halfway, the chopstick in his right hand plunging straight into his face! The tacit cooperation between his two hands moving one after the other at lightspeed was nothing short of spectacular!
That person was like a frog with its head nailed to the ground, still spasming, even attempting to extricate himself and stand back up a few times! But Song Fei pinned down his stomach unyieldingly, not giving him a chance at all, his grip on the chopstick not loosening in the slightest!
Qi Yan had already come to back him up, stabbing down without wasting any time!
At the same time, after their belated realization, Zhou Yilu and Qiao Siqi rushed over to the balcony in concert, channeling barge haulers, virtually ready to call out chants while furiously weighing bed sheet rope.
This life-threatening rope was finally completely hoisted up.
The uninvited guest on the floor had also completely turned into a corpse.
Except for his brief melee with a zombie under a state of total confusion on the first day, Luo Geng had never gotten another opportunity for such an immersive experience after that. At most, he’d hidden on his balcony, peeking downstairs, only seeing scenes of utterly one-sided slaughter, like zombies mobbing lone students, or zombies munching on the students who’d jumped off the building.
Escape, after the past few days, was the only thing Luo Geng thought could be done when faced with zombies.
Although he’d once fought one barehanded, he’d only pushed the opponent outside the door.
Now, descending from the sky… no, ascending from the ground, were four classmates who were offering him a brand new answer.
It turned out these monster-like fellows could be defeated as long as they kept a cool head with a clear division of labor— one disregarding his personal safety to attack head-on, one utilizing his height advantage to defend the flanks, one keeping his eyes and ears open while waiting for an opportunity to strike, with the last one meticulously guarding the rear.
“You guys aren’t my classmates, you’re all the f*cking Avengers, ah…” If it hadn’t been for the incompatible atmosphere, Luo Geng would’ve really wanted to applaud the four people in front of him.
Zhou Yilu bunched up the bed sheets that’d first saved their lives before promptly courting disaster, announcing his ambitions: “Then, I want to be Iron Man.”
Luo Geng burst into laughter with a puchi, then said sincerely: “Based on your style of playing the guitar to unite people’s hearts, you have to be Captain America, ah.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Qiao Siqi joined in excitedly: “What about me, what about me?”
Snfgs wjif raevfca tjv vgfjwr bo yflcu j reqfgtfgb, rb Oeb Xfcu kjrc’a ralcus jybea la: “Qtja’gf sbeg rqfmljialfr?”
Hljb Vldl atbeuta obg j ktlif: “Gbfr yflcu j agera-oecv xlv mbeca?”
Director Luo patted him on the shoulder: “Iron Man.”
Hl Tjc uijcmfv bnfg, yea vlvc’a rqfjx.
How could Director Luo forget him: “Climbing up and down just like walking on flat ground, Spider-Man!”
Valii ragjvvilcu atf mbgqrf, Vbcu Mfl gjlrfv tlr tfjv, tlr ojmf yfjwlcu klat tbqf.
Luo Geng looked at his lithe frame, his lack of equipment, lack of bulky muscle, and his combat grappling technique: “…Black Widow?”
With this huge contrast, Song-tongxue shot a dissatisfied glare at his conquest beneath him. Then it registered to him, he was supposed to be… hemophobic.
Compared to the past few times, Song Fei only felt disgusted this time, and didn’t vomit. He figured after a few more times, he’d be able to guard a corpse while snacking on duck neck.
Half of the balcony sliding door had been wiped out, and the wind blew in huhu through the door frame.
The five students had bundled themselves up in their respective cotton or down jackets, and were uniformly squatting on the ground with their hands tucked inside their sleeves, surrounding the corpse as they studied it.
At first glance, it almost looked as though they were a bunch of elderly grandfathers spectating a game of chess on the side of the street on a cold wintry day.
“Evolution?” Qiao Siqi could only think of this possibility.
Zhou Yilu was incredulous: “No one else climbed up when we were retrieving the bed sheets. Or can the path to zombie evolution also be stratified by academic tyrants and academic underachievers? And when Song Fei kicked him just now, you guys also saw exactly how pliable and flexible his body was. Would they evolve to such a stage all in one go?”
While they’d been speaking, Song Fei had carefully removed the glass shards from their opponent’s face. He squinted his eyes, scrutinizing him for a while, before confirming there was no mistake: “Cui Menghan from the Dance program in the Department of Fine Arts…”
Qi Yan: “Incorrigible face-con. ”
The three classmates who had no idea what was going on exchanged puzzled looks—
Qiao Siqi: “You guys can recognize someone’s face even when it’s ruined like this?”
Luo Geng: “You two even recognize people from the Fine Arts department?”
Zhou Yilu: “Not just recognized, but even tacked on a personality label as well…”
Song Fei and Qi Yan briefly shared a look, then both quickly turned away again.
Finally, Song Fei vaguely glanced over this issue: “Just… someone from a photography group la.”
Luo Geng and Zhou Yilu were somewhat skeptical, but this wasn’t the main point, so they didn’t linger on this question anymore.
Qiao Siqi roughly understood. He felt that Song Fei wasn’t really lying either. A rainbow group ma, it did sound like a group of photography lovers with aesthetic pursuits.
Although John was astute, his thought processes could only dig just past surface-level. As for the inside story about Cui Menghan’s perseverance in trying to poach a certain someone from Song Fei, only the parties involved would know best.
However, no matter their disputes, they became things of the past the moment Cui Menghan mutated.
“He was studying dance, so his body was already much more pliable and flexible than ours. Could it not be evolution, but just individual differences?” Qi Yan put forward yet another conjecture.
Luo Geng instantly captured the essence of the matter: “You mean they all mutate based on personal attributes after infection?”
Qi Yan nodded: “The virus will decrease their intelligence, stiffen their bodies, and prevent them from feeling pain, but the degree of mutation is likely to be the same or of a similar percentage. For example, if the speed of two mutants decreases by 30%, but there was originally a difference in their running speeds when they were still normal, then this difference should still exist after degeneration.”
Qiao Siqi shook his head, still unable to fully accept this: “There might be individual differences, but they shouldn’t be so large that one can’t even grab onto the rope, while the other can climb up. This difference is too big. I still think it’s more like evolution.”
“There’ve always been big differences between one person and the next.” Song Fei was more inclined to agree with Qi Yan. In order to prove it, he stood right up, then straightened his knees, before bending over and stretching out his arms, his fingertips finally barely grazing the ground. “Look, I can only make it this far.”
Qiao Siqi stood up dubiously, and followed his lead, finally touching half of a finger to the ground.
Luo Geng thought it looked fun, so he did the same, and directly flattened his entire palm against the ground: “Yo, hey, I’m more flexible than you guys!”
Zhou Yilu gave him side-eye: “You just have short legs.”
Luo Geng pouted: “If you’re so capable, then come try it.”
Zhou Yilu shrugged, calmly accepting this challenge. He stooped over, his hands rapidly reaching down, his fingertips going straight for the ground, when finally… uh, they stopped right at his knees.
Zhou Yilu wore a look of disbelief, then strained hard once again, eager to go on!
Gaba.
Qi Yan: “…”
Qiao Siqi: “…”
Luo Geng: “…”
Song Fei: “I think I heard the sound of a leg bone breaking…”
In the end, Qiao Siqi had to admit that there were still substantial variations among people. But there was no way to prove that a zombie being able to climb up was a result of diversity, and not evolution.
Luo Geng was so bothered by this issue that he picked up the bed sheets and ran back to the balcony, actually lowering the rope back down once again.
The four of them were so shocked that their hearts almost jumped out of their chests, and they rushed over.
They saw that this end of the rope was in Luo Geng’s hands, while the other end was practically touching the ground. With Luo Geng calling out “come, ah“, twenty-or-so zombies surrounded it again, clawing and scratching at the rope, but just unable to hold onto it!
At first, Luo Geng held onto the bed sheet without moving, just observing with bated breath to see whether or not there’d actually be any other mutants that could climb their way up. But eventually, his actions changed, as he held onto the bed sheet, waggling it up and down, occasionally even waving it in front of a mutant’s face deliberately.
The mutants seemed to have also been infected by his emotions, becoming more anxious, some individuals even jumping up to grab for the sheets.
Song Fei watched this scene, feeling as though it looked extremely familiar for some reason, before it finally dawned on him: “Are you experimenting or teasing a cat?”
The heck, how was this even a bed sheet anymore, this was obviously a cat wand!
The same thought also struck Luo Geng. Anyway, he’d experimented just about enough, so he decisively pulled the sheets back up. However, there was still an unfulfilled look on his face, and there seemed to even be a sentimental sheen of tears in his eyes: “I miss Snow White. I used to play with her like this at home…”
The four comrades had no desire to learn about the stories that Luo Geng and his family’s kitty cat had to tell, so they forcefully changed the subject—
Zhou Yilu: “It’s basically certain that it’s because of individual differences. That is to say, we still have a chance of winning in a real fight.”
Qiao Siqi: “There’s a chance of winning a one-on-one fight, but it’ll definitely be over for us if they pull out zombie tsunami tactics.”
Song Fei: “So we can’t go head-to-head with them, we have to think of a way to draw them away first, so that we can actually escape.”
Qi Yan: “Make a sound in the East, then strike in the West?”
Luo Geng: “No, wait, you guys still haven’t given up, ah!”
The four of them looked at Luo Geng. Without saying a word, they just stared at him.
Luo Geng’s vehement stance gradually weakened.
Song Fei asked him: “If you don’t break out, how many more days can your food last you?”
Luo Geng drooped his head, about ready to weep bitterly: “I’ll run out of food this afternoon…”
It wasn’t impossible to stay put in an isolated city, but staying put in an isolated city that’d run out of ammunition and food was simply asking for death.
After all these twists and turns, the sky had gradually darkened. The five people guarded the dormitory filled with the wind blowing huhu. Their cotton and down jackets were no longer enough, so all of them were wrapped inside blankets. There weren’t enough blankets for each and every one of them, so some of them could only share, getting cozy while discussing their breakout plan 2.0.
“Creating a diversion is viable.” Either he’d do something or he wouldn’t do it. Since he was going to do it, Luo Geng had a habit of going through everything thoroughly. “We can take a phone, throw it into the distance, timing it to play music. After it attracts all the zombies over, we can run away. But there’s a problem. Mutants not only can hear, but can also see. Although a phone can interfere with their hearing, it won’t do anything to their vision. As soon as a single mutant spots us, a zombie tide will surge over in a heartbeat.”
Qi Yan narrowed his eyes, then said profoundly, “Then we’ll have to choose weather that makes us invisible to them.”
The remaining four comrades exchanged looks: “…En.”
A night of intense cold.
A blanket was hanging off the sliding door to keep out the wind. The five classmates were either sitting, lying down, or doing pull-ups off the bed railing. No one was asleep.
“Look, how’s this.” Luo Geng had rummaged through the cabinets to find a short weapon that looked like a knife, but also not quite, his eyes shining, “An authentic high-imitation Type-56 triangular combat knife!”
Qiao Siqi raised his hand: “Pray tell, how authentic can a high-imitation be…”
Luo Geng shook his head with a “child, you’re too young” expression on his face: “Never question a seller’s craftsmanship. If you leave him a good review, he’ll give you a miracle in return.”
Song Fei was currently pouring water boiled using the immersion heater onto the surface of his fan. He didn’t know if it could be disinfected or not, but at least it was a psychological comfort.
Luo Geng watched for a while, long since wanting to praise it: “Your weapon… is quite ostentatious, ah.”
What Qi Yan cared about was actually the other thing that had sunk to the bottom of a basin filled with boiling water: “Where’d the chopstick come from?”
Song Fei: “Swiped it from the canteen…”
Zhou Yilu: “Aren’t all the chopsticks in the canteen made out of wood?”
Song Fei: “The Korean cuisine window on the second floor.”
Qi Yan had no idea how to appraise it. But speaking conscientiously, this thing was quite practical, and was far more accurate than a knife.
Seven o’clock in the morning, a partially lit sky.
Everything was ready, except the smog.
As though the heavens themselves were also hoping for them to be snatched from the jaws of death, there was no wind this early morning, and the sun still hadn’t come out. Even if it became completely bright outside, it’d still be gloomy without the sun, with only gray mist everywhere in sight.
The fifth day of the zombie siege, heavy haze.
“Is everyone ready?” Qi Yan asked.
Everyone: “En!”
Qi Yan nodded: “Take out all your phones, ba.”
In the blink of an eye, five phones were gathered on top of the desk— Qiao Siqi’s and Qi Yan’s Apple, Zhou Yilu’s Samsung, Luo Geng’s Huawei, and Song Fei’s OPPO.
Qiao Siqi: “I think Huawei can handle a fall.”
Luo Geng: “You exaggerate, I think Apple is rather great.”
Zhou Yilu: “Domestic products are actually fairly durable…”
Song Fei: “It takes five minutes for mine to charge, so it could be very useful at a critical moment!”
Qi Yan ignored their debate, his gaze sweeping over the desk, before he picked up Qiao Siqi’s Apple without any hesitation.
Qiao Siqi felt his heart twinge, and couldn’t help but protest: “Why didn’t you choose theirs! Besides, you also have an Apple ah, why don’t you throw away your own phone!”
The other three comrades who’d failed to be chosen had already swiftly returned their phones to their pockets, while Qi Yan gave John an indifferent glance: “Yours has a drop-proof case.”
This reason was flawless, leaving Qiao Siqi speechless.
Twenty minutes later, five warriors carrying backpacks on their backs, and life-saving knives at their waists had already climbed down from the fourth floor balcony, four of them landing safely on top of the canopy at the main entrance on the first floor. Below them was the ground. If they wanted to escape, all they’d have to do was jump down and run off. But, not quite yet. Because, one of their other companions was currently on the balcony of the innermost dormitory on the second floor, bending down and leaning over as far as he could. He brought the phone as close to the ground as possible, then pressed play to start the music, before immediately locking the screen, and letting it fall to the ground!
In the dense smog, the visibility was two meters at most. The four of them couldn’t see the situation over at Qi Yan’s side at all, so they could only wait anxiously.
Finally, a vibrant, rhythmic melody pierced the thick fog like a sharp sword, resounding through the sky—
“Geng, Geng, Genghis Khan~~ Cultured, bold, wise, exceptionally gallant~~ Geng, Geng, Genghis Khan~~ Who knows how many beautiful girls want to marry him ah~~ Hahahaha~~ They all want to be his bride~~ Houhouhouhou~~”
Before more than two lines of the music had sounded, countless figures flashed through the gray fog, all flocking towards the far end of the dormitory building!
The four comrades on the canopy were startled. Hell, zombies aside, even they themselves could hardly sit still when listening to this song.
Soon, Qi Yan hurried back to the canopy to meet up with everyone.
The smog obstructed the zombies’ vision, but obstructed Song Fei and the others’ vision as well. The grayness in front of them was quiet, but no one was sure whether it was really empty or if there were still mutants hiding inside it.
“Go?” Song Fei was barely using his vocal cords, all his sounds made using his breath.
They’d already hit this point, so they’d have to go even if they didn’t want to.
Just when Qi Yan was about to nod, he noticed a faceless mutant wandering out that’d appeared under the canopy at some point!
A majority of the mutants had been physically mutilated in some way or form. The faceless ones were some of the most eye-catching, because the zombies first gnawed on faces, and while some had died immediately, others had mutated during the gnawing process, eventually turning into faceless zombies.
The others had spotted him too, and a shadow was instantly cast over their originally hopeful mood, dampening it.
They didn’t have the luxury of thinking about why he hadn’t been attracted by the sound. What was more important right now was how they could deal with the situation at hand. It wasn’t difficult to deal with a single zombie, but their fight would inevitably attract the attention of other zombies, which would be deadly!
Qiao Siqi pointed diagonally forward, trying to speak under his breath: “He has no eyes and can’t see, let’s go around…”
Qi Yan’s lips were pressed into a straight line. Of course, it’d be best if they could go around him, but they were very close to this faceless zombie. Even if the other party couldn’t see them, and they could keep everything very quiet, they mustn’t forget…
“He can still smell,” Song Fei voiced the most fundamental problem.
They’d fought against a faceless mutant before, and being unable to see wasn’t a hindrance for them at all!
The music on the other end might unexpectedly stop at any time, so there was no time left to delay. Would they have to fight head-on or repeat their failure from last time?
Just when they were at their wits’ end, Luo Geng suddenly revealed the card up his sleeve: “He won’t be able to smell us.”
The four people all shuashua turned to look at him.
Luo Geng had already uncovered his secret weapon from his backpack— half a spray bottle of Six God.
Author’s Chapter Summary:
Qi-xueba creates a diversion, the group of five make a clever escape!
The translator has something to say: rip Black Widow Song Fei, rip unsuccessful poacher Cui Menghan, rip Zhou Yilu’s legs, rip Qiao Siqi’s phone…
P.S. as previously mentioned, i’ll try my best to maintain a regular release schedule, but with the way my school schedule is this yr i can guarantee the promised releases weekly, but not necessarily at the same time each week though ill try my best! my sincerest apologies, but pls be patient with me this yr, and thank you in advance!
Thank you for the updateeeee waaah im so excited
yesss, things are just getting started! this novel takes a bit to rev things up, and i feel like it just gets exponentially funnier + more exciting and ahhh~ hope you enjoy!
Thank you for updating!! 😍
thanks for reading! <3
Rip Qiao Siqi’s phone. Thanks for the update.
i know!!! i keep lots of important other things on my phone even if i cant text/call… just feel so naked without my phone too…
thanks for reading!
».. but it’ll definitely be over for us if they pull out zombie tsunami tactics.« Why did I laugh so hard at this?
And thx, now I have that damn song running around in my ears xDD
Thx for the ch (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘) And please concentrate enough on your school work :3
LOL Qiao Siqi has some rlly good lines~
that song!!! is such a meme!!! i cant stop watching them dance in the MV too even tho the quality is so poor bc i think it’s from the early 1960s or so.
thanks for reading!! i hate the awk first few weeks beginning a new school yr bc i never have any idea how long things will take or how long i should expect to be doing school work, etc. i cant wait until i have things figured out!!
Oh god…. the song is back in my brain….. graaah~ It’s just like “It’s in your head, in your heeeeead, zombie, zombie, zombie-e-e~” xDD But, well, I like that song, even if it’s a damn earworm. (It just does what it says, kinda lol)
School is too long ago for me, but yeah, I guess it’s really stressful with the start of a new term >__< But you will rock it :3
Thank you for the chapter 💜
Thanks for the chapter! <3
Thanks for the chapter, this one made me laugh so hard
i laughed so hard when they were all trying to sacrifice each others phones 0 camaraderie. i also love playing with cats like that so i understand the temptation. the pop culture references to the MCU Avengers also made me laugh~
Thank you for the chapter!!! <3
thanks for reading!! <3
Or maybe because he has no face so no nose too…
hahahaha that image is rlly spooky tho
Thank you for the chapter 😊