extra ko-fi chapter for Aneca (2/2) 
thank you so much!! ❤️
It was late at night and the temperature outside had dropped. Lu Heyang opened the car window for ventilation.
The wind blew in as the car drove on, causing Xu Ze’s collar to flutter. The light from the street lamps kept flashing across his face and the back of his hand.
The interior of the military SUV was spacious, but Xu Ze still felt cramped. He removed his glasses and tilted his head to look out the window. He felt dizzy and sleepy, and everything was blurry.
The lights of the capital sped past like a river. Xu Ze thought with a muddled mind that perhaps at the end of the river, he would become Seventeen who was sent home by Lu Heyang for the first time many years ago, the one who was sure that Lu Heyang wouldn’t recognize him when he put on his cap.
Or maybe the final time, when Lu Heyang drove him out of the city at sunset. But whenever Xu Ze replayed this memory, he always stopped at the second when they were lying together in the tent watching fireflies and didn’t continue to think about the separation after the birthday.
Lu Heyang had told him, “It might take a little longer,” and “It’s okay not to wait”. But Xu Ze replied, “I’ll wait for you,” and insisted, “I will wait.” At that time, he was so stubborn that he didn’t realize that the answer was hidden in Lu Heyang’s words.
I will go away for a long time, for many years. Don’t wait, it won’t work out.
That year, he watched Lu Heyang stand still and move further away from him. But it was only now that Xu Ze understood that the one who stayed in the same place was always himself.
“Dr. Xu.”
Xu Ze was pulled back to reality. He followed the sound to look at Lu Heyang’s profile.
Lu Heyang glanced back at him, Xu Ze’s eyes were a little confused like he hadn’t sobered up yet. Lu Heyang turned his head back. He slid his hand up from the bottom of the steering wheel and gripped it. Then he asked, “What shampoo do you use?”
Xu Ze’s fingers twitched nervously, causing the plastic bag in his hands to make a small sound. Xu Ze turned his head back and named the brand. After a moment he added, “It’s cheap.”
It hadn’t been discontinued for so many years because it was cheap, practical, and cost-effective.
After a second or two, he heard Lu Heyang say, “It smells good.”
Xu Ze was stunned and raised his hand to rub his left eye. He felt like the hangover soup He Wei ordered wasn’t working.
“How did you get the scars on your hand?” Lu Heyang suddenly asked.
Xu Ze was unsure when Lu Heyang had noticed them. He turned his wrist to hide the cigarette burns.
“In high school,” he forced out the most common excuse, “I had a conflict with someone.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Xu Ze found that he was more afraid of Lu Heyang knowing these things now than in high school. They wouldn’t have many interactions in the future, and Lu Heyang might leave the capital again soon. Xu Ze hoped that he would simply be the Doctor Xu he happened to meet once he returned to the country—an ordinary, unimportant passerby who could be easily forgotten without any unpleasant memories associated with Seventeen.
For a few seconds, Xu Ze tried his best to come up with a way to change the subject, “Then—”
“What kind of person am I?” he asked Lu Heyang.
He noticed Lu Heyang slowed down the car and then looked at him. The light in the car was flickering, and Xu Ze couldn’t read Lu Heyang’s expression.
After a while, Lu Heyang stepped on the accelerator again and replied, “I don’t know.”
It was the expected answer. Maybe the question itself was unnecessary, something he shouldn’t have asked. Xu Ze smiled vacantly. He wanted to say more to Lu Heyang, but all of a sudden it was difficult for him even to open his mouth. In the end, he just leaned back in his seat and turned his head to look out the window with half-lidded eyes.
After the 20-minute ride, they arrived in front of the graduate student dormitory. When the car stopped, Xu Ze opened his eyes and wasted no time in grabbing the seatbelt. Just as he was about to thank him, he noticed Lu Heyang frown slightly as if he was thinking about something. Simultaneously, Lu Heyang’s hand, which had been resting on the electronic handbrake, instinctively moved to the circular compartment for a water bottle. However, there were no bottles left.
“There’s a vending machine in the apartment lobby,” Xu Ze hesitated and said, “If you’re not in a hurry, I’ll buy you a bottle of water.”
Lu Heyang didn’t respond immediately. Instead, he looked into Xu Ze’s eyes, but Xu Ze quickly looked away. Xu Ze awkwardly put on his glasses and asked again, “Do you want one?” He noticed that Lu Heyang appeared to have stopped frowning.
“I’m not in a hurry.” Lu Heyang answered in the order of the questions, “I don’t drink mineral water.”
Xu Ze recalled that Lu Heyang used to drink mineral water before. He paused, thinking that this might be a way to refuse subtlety. But if Lu Heyang wanted to refuse, he could have just said that he was in a hurry instead of using not drinking mineral water as an excuse.
“Would you like some boiled water instead?” Xu Ze glanced at the apartment building from the car window. Since he lived on the fourth floor, going up and down wouldn’t take much time, “I have some in my dorm. If you want, I can hold a cup steady and come down quickly.”
The use of the word “steady” was overly expressive, indicating that Xu Ze was not completely sober yet. Lu Heyang smiled and asked, “Can you really carry it without spilling it?”
Xu Ze picked up the plastic bag and tied it in a knot, though he couldn’t quite explain why he did so. He felt that he shouldn’t answer with “I can”.
“If you don’t mind, you can come to my dorm,” Xu Ze said slowly and seriously, “to drink water.”
He thought that there was a high probability that this proposal would be rejected. But Lu Heyang just asked after hearing this, “Is it convenient?”
“It is.” Xu Ze understood a completely different kind of “convenient”. He nodded and said, “There’s an elevator.”
There was no need to climb several flights of stairs in the dark like when he lived in the old town during high school.
“Yeah,” Lu Heyang said, “Sit still, I’ll park the car.”
He drove to the parking lot downstairs and turned off the engine. The two of them got out of the car. After walking around the flower bed, there were several steps in front of the lobby. Perhaps because Xu Ze was still a little dazed, Lu Heyang held his upper arm—Xu Ze was originally able to walk properly, but now that he was standing in front of the steps, he suddenly didn’t know which leg to lift.
“Dr. Xu, can you walk?” Lu Heyang asked as he didn’t move, “Or should I carry you?”
Xu Ze looked at the ground, “I can walk.”
After walking up the four steps, Lu Heyang let go. The shirt was slightly wrinkled where he had gripped it. Xu Ze wanted to touch it but not in order to smooth out the wrinkles.
They had to pass through a facial recognition gate to get to the elevator from the lobby. Xu Ze grew worried that Lu Heyang might be blocked if he didn’t follow closely, so he said, “Colonel, come closer.”
Lu Heyang lowered his head, “What?”
“Stay closer to me,” Xu Ze said, “This gate closes quickly.”
“Okay.” Lu Heyang stood behind Xu Ze and their faces appeared on the screen. The recognition frame automatically locked onto Xu Ze’s face.
Xu Ze’s back and Lu Heyang’s chest were close through the thin shirts. Although the lobby was air-conditioned, Xu Ze still felt hot. Lu Heyang’s expression on the screen remained calm and composed, while Xu Ze kept his eyes still to avoid looking at him.
The gate not only closed quickly but also opened quickly. While Xu Ze was still concentrating on the screen, the gate had noiselessly opened on both sides. Lu Heyang gently lifted Xu Ze’s chin with his hand to straighten his head and said, “Dr. Xu, it’s open.”
Xu Ze responded with an “Oh,” and walked forward. After passing through, he turned around to see if Lu Heyang was following him, but a hand immediately pressed on his shoulder. Lu Heyang gently pushed him and said, “I shouldn’t be as stupid as you think.”
As Xu Ze was unable to explain, he could only nod and say, “Right.”
It sounded like he was confirming that Lu Heyang was indeed not as stupid.
Before the elevator doors opened, Xu Ze saw Lu Heyang smiling in the reflection on the doors.
Xu Ze lived in 4010. The door had a passcode lock. The fingerprint function had been broken for some time but he hadn’t called for repairs yet. Xu Ze entered the six-digit passcode in front of Lu Heyang and opened the door.
“Do you do this when others come?” Lu Heyang asked.
“What?” Xu Ze was confused.
“Do you not cover the keypad when entering the passcode?”
Xu Ze’s hand was still on the door handle. Since very few people visited his dorm, he rarely encountered this situation. He never thought of hiding the passcode from Lu Heyang, just like in high school when he was willing to give his house key to Lu Heyang, even though Lu Heyang never asked for it.
“It doesn’t matter.” Xu Ze still properly showed his security awareness and confirmed with Lu Heyang, “You probably didn’t memorize it.”
“I already did, what now?” Lu Heyang replied bluntly, lacking any subtlety. Then he asked Xu Ze, “Do you want to change the passcode, Dr. Xu?”
Xu Ze looked at the darkness inside the partially open door and shook his head, “Not changing it.”
As he finished speaking, he reached for the light switch. But due to his dizziness, he couldn’t find it right away. After watching Xu Ze fumble for a few seconds, Lu Heyang raised his hand, pinched the tip of Xu Ze’s index finger from behind, and moved it up five centimeters to guide him to turn on the light. His chin almost touched Xu Ze’s shoulder. Xu Ze could hear Lu Heyang’s breath right next to his ear.
Xu Ze squinted his eyes as he wasn’t used to the sudden light.
The house was a one-bedroom apartment with only basic furniture and appliances, devoid of any extra clutter or decorations. A bookcase separated the living room from the bedroom. The bedroom was fairly bare with a small bed against the wall and a desk across from it. Between the bed and the desk was a floor-to-ceiling door to the balcony with white curtains hanging in front of the door—a somewhat odd layout, especially the orientation of the bed.
Lu Heyang’s eyes slowly swept from the bed to the curtains and then to the desk. Xu Ze had already changed into slippers and belatedly said, “Please come in.”
“Don’t I need to change my shoes?” Lu Heyang asked.
“It’s okay.” Xu Ze said, “The floor can be mopped again.”
“It can also be mopped less often.” Lu Heyang asked, “Do you have more slippers?”
“Yes.” Xu Ze opened the shoe cabinet on the side and took out a pair of slippers.
He placed them in front of Lu Heyang. Xu Ze intended simply to bend down, but he was so dizzy he couldn’t maintain his balance. Consequently, he crouched down in an attempt to stabilize himself, fearing he might topple over and fall headfirst to the ground.
To Lu Heyang, it looked like Xu Ze wanted to help him change his shoes. He called out “Dr. Xu” and immediately reached out to pull him up. But Xu Ze squatted down too fast, and Lu Heyang could only touch his hair.
When Lu Heyang’s fingertips brushed Xu Ze’s hair, his hand paused and didn’t move away. Xu Ze’s hair was soft, smooth, and cool, as though its texture could only be achieved through dedicated care. It was hard to imagine that he used the cheapest shampoo.
When Xu Ze heard Lu Heyang calling him, he raised his head. Following Xu Ze’s upward movement, Lu Heyang’s fingers slipped into his hair. Xu Ze’s face was just below Lu Heyang’s lower abdomen, and his lips parted slightly as he looked up. His eyes looked a little confused through the glasses as he asked, “What’s wrong?”
From Lu Heyang’s perspective, he could see Xu Ze’s collarbone exposed under the partially unbuttoned shirt. Perhaps due to drinking, that part of his skin was slightly red. The sensation of the hair passing through his fingers was subtle. As Lu Heyang looked down at Xu Ze’s face, his grip on his hair tightened for a split second before instantly releasing. In the end, he simply rubbed Xu Ze’s head.
“It’s better not to drink so much in the future,” he pulled his hand back and said.
Author’s note:
Subjectively, I wanted to write about them having drunken sex, but objectively, it’s too bad they aren’t such people.
“What shampoo do you use?”
“It’s cheap.”
“It smells good.”
AAAAAHHHHHHH I REMEMBER THIS EXACT CONVO FROM BEFOREEEEE SHSVSNSJSHSH IM SO SAD HE LOST HIS MEMORIES BUT I THINK SEEING HIM FALL IN LOVE AGAIN WOULD BE SO CUTEE
waiting patiently as lu heyang falls in love with xu ze all over again🤧
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