extra chapter ko-fi Beverly (1/2) Much love and appreciation always! 💖
Xu Ze had a habit. Every time Lu Heyang asked him a question, he would nod without thinking before recalling what Lu Heyang had asked. This time was no different. As soon as Lu Heyang finished speaking, Xu Ze nodded.
After a moment, Xu Ze paused, his body and eyes frozen. He tried to recall Lu Heyang’s exact words, but he couldn’t. He could only remember the general meaning.
Lu Heyang watched Xu Ze staring with a vacant expression, then saw his eyes widen before slowly blinking. Following that, he heard Xu Ze’s response, “I haven’t.”
It was the expected answer. Sometimes liking and dating were two different things. If you were to search the entire world for someone who hadn’t thought about dating Lu Heyang, Xu Ze would undoubtedly be one of them. Just because he liked Lu Heyang didn’t mean that he wanted to be with him or that he had the courage to be with him—Xu Ze’s reactions often didn’t reflect typical human nature.
“Is that so?” Lu Heyang smiled and said with a hint of disappointment, “It’s a bit heartbreaking.”
Xu Ze took several seconds to process Lu Heyang’s words and said, “That’s not what I meant.”
“What do you mean then?” Lu Heyang asked in return.
“It’s just…” Xu Ze didn’t know how to phrase or explain it. He tried to organize his words, but in the end, he could only admit, “I haven’t thought about it.”
He had never thought about it, not even in his dreams. Xu Ze felt that he had received much more than he expected from Lu Heyang. He wasn’t greedy, and even if Lu Heyang wanted it all back one day, he would willingly return it all to its rightful owner.
Xu Ze thought that Lu Heyang asked this question on a whim, but he still answered honestly to express his attitude toward Lu Heyang—I haven’t thought about being with you, I haven’t thought about it at all, don’t worry.
But Lu Heyang said to him, “If you haven’t thought about it, think about it now.”
After hearing these words, the understanding Xu Ze had just built up became mixed up again. He frowned in confusion, “What?”
“Think about us being together.” Lu Heyang grabbed Xu Ze’s chin with both hands and squeezed his cheeks with his palms, “And no matter what you want to know in the future, just ask me and I will answer.”
He looked at Xu Ze for another two seconds and put his hands down. He said before opening the door, “The driver is waiting at the school gates, so I’ll be leaving soon. Be careful riding your bike on your way home.”
Lu Heyang saw that Xu Ze didn’t respond and reminded him, “Say that you understand.”
Xu Ze’s eyes finally moved, like a robot being charged. He looked at Lu Heyang and said, “I understand.”
“Good,” Lu Heyang smiled at him and walked out of the stall.
By the time Lu Heyang finished showering, Xu Ze had just folded the towel in his hands. He unfolded it again and hung it on the nearby hook, wondering why he had folded it in the first place.
“I’m leaving,” Lu Heyang’s voice echoed in the spacious shower room, “Go home early.”
“…Okay.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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After completing the answers and studying the solutions to the questions he got wrong, he began to drift off.
Xu Ze constantly had a floating feeling as if he was unreal. Like he had been poor for a long time and suddenly received a million out of thin air. His initial reaction wasn’t joy but rather confusion, disbelief, and worry.
The night wind blew outside, rustling the leaves and creating a sound like ocean waves. After a while, Xu Ze heard a knock at the door. Although it wasn’t loud, he suddenly trembled and nearly knocked over the chair as he rose to his feet.
Xu Ze had numerous matters that needed to be thought over, causing him to fully retreat into that mindset. However, when he saw Lu Heyang’s faint smile and his slightly messy hair from the wind, Xu Ze decided to stop all his concerns.
Lu Heyang was not just one million, he was far better and more precious than a million, something that Xu Ze would never encounter again in his life. Xu Ze realized from the beginning that he had never even considered “rejection” as an option. He could never reject Lu Heyang, even though he was full of worry and uneasiness about the matter.
His throat went dry and his body wouldn’t respond. Xu Ze nervously pressed his hand on the doorknob and unconsciously blocked Lu Heyang from entering.
“Is there anyone else in the house?” Lu Heyang asked him as he stood politely in the stairwell.
“No.” Xu Ze took a step back and opened the door a little more.
He saw Lu Heyang holding a folder and knew that Lu Heyang must have come over for something important.
Lu Heyang entered the bedroom and sat down on the chair in front of the desk. He pushed aside Xu Ze’s exam papers and took out a stack of documents and a pen from the folder. Then he turned to Xu Ze, who was standing by the bed, and said, “Come here.”
Xu Ze walked over. Lu Heyang put his arm around his waist and moved his left leg behind Xu Ze to make him sit on his lap.
“Took a shower?” Lu Heyang asked as he moved closer to Xu Ze’s shoulder and sniffed it.
Xu Ze, who had never sat on someone else’s lap before, seemed extremely stiff at the moment but nodded.
“Here, sign,” Lu Heyang handed the pen to Xu Ze and pointed to a specific place to sign.
Xu Ze didn’t look at the document or ask any questions, Lu Heyang asked him to sign, so he signed. One after another, he signed more than ten signatures. It wasn’t until Lu Heyang said “Okay” that Xu Ze closed the pen cap and put it on the table.
“Don’t you want to know what they are?” Lu Heyang touched Xu Ze’s ear.
Xu Ze stared at the desk. His ears were ticklish from Lu Heyang’s touch. He shrank his neck and asked, “What are they?”
“A contract to sell you.” Lu Heyang replied.
“Who are you selling to?” Xu Ze tried to continue the joke.
Lu Heyang smiled and asked, “Who do you want to sell to?”
Xu Ze turned his head to glance at Lu Heyang, then quickly turned back to look at the desk, feeling that he wasn’t fit to joke around. He whispered, “Nobody.”
“They’re some subsidies, reimbursements, insurance, and the like.” Lu Heyang put his fingertips on the edge of the documents and roughly aligned them. “You might not have known about some of them before, so you didn’t apply for them. I’ve sorted out all the ones your grandma is eligible for. ”
“Can the private nursing home also be reimbursed?”
“Yes, part of the hospital and medical expenses can be reimbursed,” Lu Heyang replied calmly and confidently.
Xu Ze had some questions, but his thoughts were scattered at the moment, and he didn’t know where to start. He said, “If you have time, can you send me an electronic copy to look at?”
“I can,” Lu Heyang said.
Anyway, even if he didn’t send it, Xu Ze would find all sorts of excuses for him, such as being too busy, forgetting, and so on. Lu Heyang didn’t need to have much of a psychological burden.
He asked Xu Ze again, “Is there anything else you want to say?”
Xu Ze’s hands curled into fists on the desktop. He was silent for a few seconds, and then asked, “Why did you say you won’t come to school often this semester?”
From behind, Lu Heyang saw Xu Ze’s shoulders tense up after he asked the question, proving that Xu Ze really wanted to know the reason.
“Because I might be going to a military academy.” Lu Heyang stretched out his right hand and inserted two fingers into the gap between Xu Ze’s clenched fist to open his palm. “When I apply to the military academy, the content of the written and physical exams will be specific, so I need extra classes and training. I also need to visit the military academy and military base to study beforehand.”
Xu Ze didn’t seem to react. After a while, he turned around and asked, “A military academy?”
He thought that Lu Heyang would definitely enter politics in the future. Even after graduating from the military academy, he could still enter the political circle, but Union University was obviously a hundred times easier than the military academy. If the ultimate goal was the same, Lu Heyang was basically taking the longer route. Unless he planned to get involved in the military.
“Right,” Lu Heyang replied.
“Did your family demand it?” Xu Ze’s tone was cautious as if he was unsure if this question crossed any boundaries.
“No.”
That’s good—the words didn’t come out of Xu Ze’s mouth, but his entire body relaxed.
“I’m going abroad tomorrow morning for the first phase of the course training. It will take about a week or two.” Lu Heyang grabbed Xu Ze’s shoulder to make him turn around to look at him, “It’s not just this one or two weeks, it might take longer in the future.”
Not just referring to the military academy exam, but in all aspects, it would require a long time to take the long route.
“That’s okay,” Xu Ze said.
From the beginning, they were two parallel lines that did not cross, each with their own things to do and accomplish. Lu Heyang was willing to take a detour to see him when he was free, and that was enough. Xu Ze had no further requests.
… No, there was one request.
Xu Ze reached for Lu Heyang’s wrist and gripped it in his hand. He didn’t look into Lu Heyang’s eyes and seemed unsure where to direct his gaze. His voice became lower, “If one day, you really have to leave, can you say goodbye to me?”
No matter how long this relationship would last, Xu Ze needed Lu Heyang to end this overly unreal dream with his own words. As long as Lu Heyang said it, he would immediately wake up, instead of closing his eyes and pretending not to hear it.
Goodbye was a formal farewell, not a promise from Lu Heyang that he would see him again.
The wind was still blowing outside the window. Lu Heyang put a hand on Xu Ze’s waist to make sure that the dandelion-like alpha wouldn’t be blown away. He said, “I will.”
More than once, Lu Heyang had sensed the pessimism in Xu Ze, which Xu Ze himself didn’t even realize—the progress this time was that Xu Ze didn’t silently succumb to it, at least he could express it.
Lu Heyang didn’t stay too long. When he was about to leave, Xu Ze was still standing by the desk, holding a tissue and looking at it intently. Lu Heyang told him, “I figure we shouldn’t have done it there.”
“…” Xu Ze put down the tissue and raised his head. His face and lips were slightly red, and his pupils were unexpectedly glistening. He tugged at his wrinkled T-shirt and followed Lu Heyang.
Before Lu Heyang opened the door, he turned to look at Xu Ze. Xu Ze’s response was delayed, or maybe he finally felt happy after all the disbelief, worry, and pessimism, leading to a subtle smile appearing on his face—the kind of smile that couldn’t be put into words, radiating joy and foolishness that only one person could experience.
“You’re so silly.” Lu Heyang smiled as he held Xu Ze’s shoulder and kissed him on the lips.
Xu Ze’s eyes were still shining. He held Lu Heyang’s hand, but let go after a few seconds, not wanting to delay Lu Heyang’s time too much.
“I’m leaving,” Lu Heyang said. He closed the door and walked to the stairwell. After going down a few steps, he could hear the door opening. As he glanced back, he saw Xu Ze peering at him through the crack of the security door. Lu Heyang waved at him.
After going downstairs, Lu Heyang suddenly realized that midsummer had passed. The gardenias in the community were no longer blooming. All he could smell were the trees and the wind.
As Lu Heyang disappeared into the hallway, Xu Ze closed the door. He went back to his room, opened the curtains and the window, and leaned on the windowsill to look out.
Half a minute later, he saw Lu Heyang walking out of the corridor. After a few steps, Lu Heyang turned around and raised his head among the swaying branches and leaves. The dappled shadows covered him, and the leaves swayed like waves. Lu Heyang stood under the nighttime trees like he was standing at the bottom of a deep blue sea. The moon tonight was really beautiful, but Xu Ze didn’t lift his head to look at it. He only looked down from the windowsill, gazing at the moon in the sea from afar.
Xu Ze was unable to go to bed early tonight, so he worked on his exam papers until midnight. Before going to sleep, he took out the small notebook from the drawer, flipped to the page with the twelve circles, and then turned to a new page. He wrote today’s date with a pen at the beginning of the first line and drew a single vertical line.
Perhaps this tally “卌” would never be written in its entirety, or perhaps only a few lines could be completed, and that was fine.
For Xu Ze, the beginning of this line was already an end without any regrets.
Author’s note:
After He Wei became aware of Xu Ze’s study pace, he carried an additional two catties of test papers to Xu Ze that very night (not)
Translator’s note:
The moon is beautiful, isn’t it? 🥹
Awwww, it’s so sweet I want to cry🥰😍
Thank you so much for the update
😥 Is it a HE?
yes it is 😎
the talk about moon 😭😭 bro he’s in love
They’re just too precious 🥰