“Lee Seodan, if you want to have some fun, take a vacation and enjoy yourself. Supervisor Kim was worried that Lee Seodan was working too hard.”
“My supervisor?”
Come to think of it, my supervisor had said something similar to me recently. Since we often went out for lunch together naturally due to working outside the office, I couldn’t remember where it was, but at some restaurant, my supervisor set down the chopsticks, looked me in the eye, and said seriously,
“Lee Seodan, at your age, it might not seem like a big deal, but working too hard now might lead to regrets later. If you become a workaholic like Team Leader, what will you do?”
“Perhaps… If you ask me what I do on weekends, I always say I do nothing.”
In fact, I couldn’t say I spent my weekends at Team Leader’s house, but my supervisor seemed to understand that I spent the entire weekend at home, so they came out and seriously suggested I exercise or date. She recommended the company’s gym facilities and trainers were quite good, or joked about pretty college juniors they knew.
“Supervisor Kim seems very interested in Lee Seodan’s personal life,” Han Team Leader said as the car squeezed through a narrow alley and entered a small public parking lot.
“Yes, it seems like she takes good care of me.”
“That’s right. Must be nice to get compliments from your supervisor.”
Despite there being only a few spaces left that seemed too narrow for his car to fit, he stopped the car in front of the closest spot and shifted into reverse. Glancing behind for a moment, he expertly turned the steering wheel with one hand and parked the car perfectly parallel to the parking lines on both sides. It was a skillful touch that didn’t seem forced at all.
“Do you get better at parking with practice?” I asked, leaning my forehead against the window and looking down at the neat parking lines.
“I don’t know, I’m just naturally good at it.”
“…Hmm.”
Although his voice was nonchalant, he was smiling. I laughed along, bewildered.
“When did Team Leader start driving?”
“Since college, probably. I got a car early, so I had no choice but to learn.”
“Did you drive a big car back then too?”
“Pretty much.”
“Because you had to carry a lot of people?”
It was right after getting out of the car. Han Team Leader glanced at me over the hood of the car.
“Lee Seodan seems very interested in me today.”
Beep, the car blinked once and fell silent. Putting the keys in his pocket, he lightly cleared his throat as he headed towards the parking lot entrance.
“We might have to walk a bit.”
“Yeah, that’s okay.”
After feeling the cool breeze of the car’s air conditioning, the summer night breeze felt mild. The remaining city, which had been scorching all day, seemed like a resort somewhere rather than Korea. I gradually felt excited by the faint hustle and bustle of the downtown alleyways and the sound of insects somewhere.
“I didn’t realize the weather would be so nice at night.”
He urged me to keep up, matching my pace with his.
“It’s going to be even hotter this summer. I guess Lee Seodan has been cooped up at home at night.”
He answered briefly, slowing down his pace. Our arms brushed against each other closely. Our hands touched like the backs of our hands meeting.
“Usually, at this hour, there’s no reason to go out…”
“It suits you, those shoes.”
“Huh?”
“Are your feet comfortable?”
I looked down and saw the bright white sneakers. Tap, tap, the dry sound of the sneaker toe brushing against the concrete echoed. I looked down vaguely and replied,
“Yes. The shoes are comfortable but…”
“Is your heart uncomfortable? Because I keep buying things without asking Lee Seodan?”
“…Yes.”
Reading my mind so blatantly, I couldn’t deny it.
We were passing by the yellow pools of light cast by the street lamps. I glanced up briefly, then my gaze was drawn to the shadow lingering beneath the collar of his white shirt and between the folds of the shirt. Expensive brand sneakers, ones I wouldn’t dare buy for myself, lightly touched the edge of the light.
Han Team Leader sighed, almost as if in resignation. “I’m not buying them because I want to.”
“What do you mean?”
“I buy them because I can’t help it. Don’t feel burdened by it. If you don’t like something, just leave it or throw it away.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
His words were crisp. I couldn’t bring myself to say anything in response. Then he added, “And I have the ability to spend money on Lee Seodan, so you shouldn’t feel burdened. You should think about what you want instead. You’re still young.”
“…Tbe rqfjx jr lo sbe tjnf j iba wbgf.”
Ktfgf’r bcis j rfnfc-sfjg juf ujq yfakffc er, jcv kf’gf ybat kbgxlcu jveiar. Lbk mbeiv P pera rla yjmx jcv jmmfqa fnfgsatlcu? Lf uijcmfv ja wf yglfois klat j rafgc ibbx.
“Pcvffv, wbgf atjc sbe.”
Qf kfgf qjrrlcu ys j ilnfis qey. Cr kf jiwbra yewqfv lcab j raewyilcu mbiifuf raevfca ja atf vbbg, Ljc Kfjw Ofjvfg qeiifv wf mibrf. Ofjclcu rilutais abkjgv ws rtbeivfg, tf mbcmievfv tlr rfcafcmf.
“In that case, buy me coffee today. Something expensive.”
“…Okay.”
Although I still felt uneasy, with our bodies so close, I couldn’t think of an immediate response. His shirt exuded the warm fragrance of well-ironed fabric softener. I was about to press my nose against the soft fabric when I remembered that we were on the street.
“Should we cross the street or pick one from here?”
He offered choices at the crosswalk. There were a few cafes across the street, and a couple more straight ahead. Thinking they would be similar regardless of where we went, I pointed across the street at a franchise.
As we passed by the pub windows, I noticed many people gathered inside, while the cafe seemed relatively quiet. Stepping inside the bright and cool interior, a waiter quickly stood up from a squeaky stool.
As I turned around, Han Team Leader simply said “coffee” and headed up the stairs to the second floor. It seemed he wanted to secure a seat first. I stood by the counter, staring at the special menu with colorful illustrations for a while.
As I ascended to the second floor with the round vibrating bell, I noticed there were no customers. Han Team Leader was leaning against the window seat. I placed the vibrating bell and wallet on the round table and sat opposite him. I noticed the neon signs of the shops across the street through the window we had crossed. A group of college students who seemed reluctant to leave the pub were gathered on the street.
Then, Han Team Leader, who had been glancing at my wallet, spoke. “I put things like surfboards and climbing gear in the trunk.”
“What?”
“I didn’t have many occasions to carry people, but…”
I blinked, realizing he was continuing the car conversation we had in the parking lot earlier. After belatedly giving the answer I wanted, he asked, “Have you decided on a model, Lee Seodan?”
“I’m still not sure.”
Recently, I had been looking at car magazines and online reviews, things I had never been interested in before. Whether crossing the street or entering the parking lot, my attention was drawn to the rows of cars. It felt like the first time I wanted to save money to buy something since I was a kid. And that something was a car, no less. I wondered if I was being too greedy.
“Where would you go once you have a car?”
He asked, leaning back comfortably.
I paused for a moment, lost in thought. When I tried to imagine myself driving alone somewhere, no particular scenery came to mind. Driving itself just seemed enjoyable.
“I’d probably use it to go to work… or maybe to Team Leader’s house?”
“…Okay.”
“Then, since Team Leader’s house is far enough to stay beyond the last train, it would be nice.”
He opened his mouth as if to speak but stopped. Just then, the vibrating bell rang. I tried to get up, but he was quicker. After staring me down, he nodded and headed down the stairs, bypassing my seat.
I was staring at the stairs, holding onto the railing until he reappeared. As he ascended, holding a tray, his expression this time seemed incredulous for a different reason.
“Shaved ice?”
“I suddenly felt like having it when I looked at the menu… Would you like to have some too, Team Leader?”
“Lee Seodan, eat a lot.”
After he took his coffee mug and placed the shaved ice tray neatly in front of me, I felt slightly overwhelmed by the size of the shaved ice. The ice formed a mountain, topped with red beans and rice cakes. There was even a red cherry on top that didn’t seem to be on the menu illustration. Before eating, I turned one of the two spoons, just in case, towards his side.
Perhaps due to the interruption in our conversation, it was quiet for a while. Han Team Leader was sipping his coffee and looking at his phone. Thinking it might be work-related, I didn’t initiate conversation and quietly mixed and ate the shaved ice. Han Team Leader left half of his untouched. I left the single cherry over there as well.
Then, Han Team Leader, who had been expressionless while scrolling down on his phone, put it down and said, “There are a couple of good shaved ice shops on the outskirts of Seoul.”
He neatly wiped away the condensation on the table with a napkin.
“Let’s go sometime around this or next weekend. We can get some fresh air, and if we can find a quiet place nearby, we can even let Lee Seodan drive.”
“…Okay.”
The ice melting in my mouth was cool and sweet. I couldn’t bring myself to look directly at his face, so I rolled the round red bean with my tongue and turned my gaze out the window.
The college students who had been lingering on the street, instead of heading home, had moved slightly aside. They had taken seats at the bus stop. Three were squeezed onto a narrow bench, while the others leaned against it or squatted down. A taxi, which had been approaching the bus stop little by little, with its empty sign turned on, drove away. The red taillights grew smaller and smaller.
As Han Team Leader gazed out the window, speaking in a calm voice as if passing by, he said, “Not now, but maybe next year or the year after.”
“……”
“I’m thinking of leaving the company and starting my own business.”
I turned my head so quickly it felt like a creak in my neck. He returned my gaze with a slightly tired but composed expression.
“I’ve been considering it for quite some time, but I completely gave up on the idea in recent years. The fun I used to feel at work diminished, I lost confidence in the company system itself…”
He glanced momentarily at the glass reflecting light.
“I even started to doubt if I was suitable for leading a team.”
“……”
“So I was giving up, but since the beginning of this year, my thoughts have changed a lot.”
His black eyes found me in the glass-made mirror. Our gazes met slowly. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t find any words, as if I had been hit hard in the head.
I imagined someone else sitting in his position in the consulting department, giving orders in the conference room, checking reports. Being scolded for mistakes, praised for achievements. Suddenly, I remembered the head of the QA team, whom I had long forgotten, and felt suffocated.
And while I was thinking about all that, he would be going to work in another place without me, leading other subordinates, laughing in front of the people he personally recruited, eating with them, spending his day. All of that seemed so distant, only happening around next year. It was the moment when I should support his important decision made after long consideration, but I couldn’t speak properly. Just the thought of going to work in a company where he wasn’t there made me feel suffocated.
Then, leaning forward blankly and picking up the spoon for the shaved ice, he said, “So study hard until then.”
I looked up. Han Team Leader swept away the red beans from the back of the spoon and placed a melting piece of ice underneath. As he put it in his mouth and furrowed his eyebrows slightly, he continued.
“Of course, it may not be possible to match the welfare level of a large corporation that Lee Seodan likes from the beginning, but the salary won’t be bad. The consultants you’ll be working with will be top-notch in the industry, so there will be a lot to learn. Think carefully from now on and make your decision when the time comes.”
The short and simple voice flowed into my ears and laid down its heavy contents. Turning my gaze squarely, Han Team Leader spoke quietly.
“I hope you can trust me in most cases.”
“….”
“I plan to create an environment where Lee Seodan can work freely in his own way.”
Each syllable was pronounced clearly. His eyes and voice carried an undeniable weight of certainty that I couldn’t grasp. My throat suddenly felt tight, and I could only nod my head without speaking.
“Eat.”
He pushed a cherry towards me with a fork as he glanced at the shaved ice. I grabbed the stem of the cherry and slowly put the shiny fruit into my mouth. The intense sweetness, like sugar-coated, filled my mouth.
“At our company… Are you not taking anyone else?”
When the voice came out again, I asked. As if it was an unexpected question, Han Team Leader’s eyes softened slightly.
“I haven’t mentioned it yet, but when the time comes, I plan to ask Deputy Park. I’m not sure if he, who values stability, will accept it. Besides, I will give the opportunity to those I am responsible for. Deputy Kwon… for example.”
I recalled the early spring TF meeting room that still occasionally appeared in my dreams. They were competent and warm people who accepted me even though I didn’t deserve to be there. The consulting department now was good too, but it couldn’t compare to the intense atmosphere of TF. My heart was uncontrollably excited.
“Is that okay?”
He asked, looking at my expression with disbelief.
“You didn’t want to work under me, but you wanted to work with Deputy Park….”
Deputy Park would probably nod immediately if Han Team Leader asked. Although we joke about having nightmares of overtime during TF days, Deputy Park also considered Han Team Leader an ideal boss. Deputy Park could also smoothly change the atmosphere that sometimes became as sharp as a blade with Han Team Leader and Deputy Kwon. It would be nice if Supervisor Kim and Deputy Yoon were there too.
As I imagined Han Team Leader’s office-like clean and modern bright office, Han Team Leader spoke.
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“Yes?”
“When the time comes, what will Lee Seodan call me?”
It took me a few seconds to understand the question. It was an enlightening realization that made my mouth open involuntarily. Han Team Leader kindly added.
“I’ll no longer be Lee Seodan’s Team Leader, so you can’t keep calling me Team Leader, can you? Let’s sort out the titles. You’re not going to call me Team Leader for the rest of your life.”
“…Then…”
“Then?”
I desperately refined my thoughts. Han Team Leader watched me with interest.
“Then at the company… since there are other employees, I’ll call you CEO….”
“And?”
“…And at home… I’ll call you… Team Leader.”
Han Team Leader leaned back as if he couldn’t believe it.
“It’s a strange system where your rank goes down at home.”
“….”
Although I knew it sounded strange as I said it, I couldn’t think of an alternative. It was ridiculous to keep calling a man who comfortably sat across from me in a café on weekday mornings, allowed me to sit in the driver’s seat of his car, stroked my head, and tangled with me in bed by his company title, but there wasn’t a suitable term either.
The handsome man watching my confused face spoke.
“It’s not such a difficult problem. Why are you worrying?”
“…Yes?”
His words felt like a slap in the face, making my cheeks tingle. Looking down at the bowl where the melted ice had turned into water, I muttered a complaint.
“But it’s not so easy to call you that in public… or when there’s a need to address you in a public place…”
“What are you thinking?”
When I looked up, he had a bewildered expression.
“I’m not telling you to call me that all the time, am I? Even if I tell you in bed, Lee Seodan isn’t good at it.”
“Team Leader…!”
“Just call me by my ordinary name. It’s nice. There are plenty of titles people use when addressing someone in private.”
He completely shut my mouth and leisurely finished the remaining coffee. His long, slender fingers were wrapped around the mug. With his forehead covered by his bangs and a mischievous smile on his face, he looked much more formidable than when I saw him at work.
I was suddenly reminded of the fact that he and I had a private relationship, which made my heart flutter. I wondered if all of this was just my imagination.
I didn’t lack the desire to call him differently from the people at work. A closer and more intense relationship. I wanted evidence of a bond that couldn’t be easily cut or ended.
“If you’re unsure now, take your time to think about it. There’s still time.”
He said generously as he placed the empty mug on the tray. I finally relaxed my tense shoulders.
“If you’re done, let’s go home now. We have to go to work tomorrow.”
“…Yes.”
He stood up and picked up the tray. The melted ice water sloshed inside the glass container. I could only calm down after washing my hands with cold water in the bathroom while he returned the tray to the counter.
Outside the café, he put his phone in his pocket as I opened the door and came out. I breathed in the faint sweet scent mixed with the warm night air and matched my pace with him.
The street had become a bit quieter during the time we were inside. The university students who had gathered at the bus stop across the street had dispersed. I could see the white headlights of approaching cars and the red taillights of those moving away in the distance. Under the deep purple sky, the tall buildings with their lights still on, stretched out. It was a night scene with sharp contours yet hazy. I felt as excited as if I had just drunk alcohol instead of shaved ice.
As we stopped at the crosswalk, our shoulders, which had left only a narrow gap, touched. His fingers, hidden by the shadow cast by our bodies, slipped between my thumb and index finger as if brushing past. His firm fingertips gently caressed the inside of my palm. I quickly looked around to see if anyone was watching, but I gripped his fingertips like a shell. My heart was pounding loudly.
“It’s nice to have Lee Seodan with me today.”
He said in a voice so soft that only I could hear. Instead of replying, I daringly intertwined my fingers with his through the gap between his fingers. The warmth of our hands pressed together and the texture of his shirt against my bare arm felt good.
A few weeks ago, when the heavy rain had poured continuously, he had stood in front of my house in the morning with a black umbrella. Under the large umbrella, we walked along the rain-soaked streets together. It was the season when water droplets clung to every surface, and the puddles on the asphalt splashed under our feet. Although it was a familiar weather, the summer spent with Han Team Leader had a completely different temperature and sensation from before. I had a vague feeling that I might start to like the season of summer that I had always disliked.
***
Even after TF ended, the main members of our regular gatherings were Deputy Park, Supervisor Kim, and me. Deputy Kwon and Deputy Yoon occasionally showed up, and Han Team Leader had the lowest attendance rate.
Deputy Park and Superisor Kim occasionally clashed, but overall they got along well, and both were interested in exploring new restaurants. Whenever they invited me, I followed them whenever I could. It was mostly light conversations consisting of Deputy Park’s daughter’s photo sharing and Supervisor Kim’s updates, but I enjoyed being there. Although we weren’t from the same department and didn’t have any other occasions to meet, scheduling and meeting for meals among busy people felt like an effort to maintain our bond.
The recent change in our gatherings was Supervisor Kim getting a thin ring on her left ring finger around the start of the rainy season. Deputy Park, who enjoyed hearing about other people’s romances, finally coerced Supervisor Kim’s surrender after persistent questioning.
“Why have you been so curious since last time… Fine, I’ll eat just this.”
“You can talk while eating.”
Ignoring Deputy Park’s words, Supervisor Kim slowly ate her salad with a fork.
Deputy Park waited while Supervisor Kim finished her salad. But when she started drinking her juice, his patience seemed to run out.
“I know he’s from the company, so just tell me his name. I won’t tell anyone.”
“…Who said he’s from the company?”
“If he wasn’t from the company, you would’ve said so earlier. Besides, you’re all dressed up for work these days. Whenever I check your messenger profile, all the photos are taken somewhere outside, but there’s no photo of you with anyone.”
It felt like being interrogated by a strangely sharp detective. Supervisor Kim couldn’t help but burst into laughter, spitting out the juice from her straw.
“Deputy Park, unexpectedly, you have a keen observation.”
“I should’ve expected something when you wore that ring. So, who is it?”
Supervisor Kim sighed but obediently said the name. It was a name I hadn’t heard before, but Deputy Park applauded and exclaimed ‘Wow’ while expressing admiration.
“That friend seems nice. But if you break up while working in the same team, one of you will have to quit.”
“Don’t say ominous things.”
btw, there are two supervisor kim (s). one who is the direct supervisor of lee seodan in his current team and another supervisor kim who was the assistant manager/supervisor in the previous team. i don’t think i have mentioned this before but since they would be mentioned almost simultaneously in these chapters, so wanted to give a heads up!
Thank you for your translation 🤍