Han Team Leader sprinkled ashes in the ashtray inside the car and rolled up the window. Silence settled in. After a day of tense anticipation, he let his weary body sink into the car seat and quietly breathed. A sense of relief swept over him in the warm seat. For some reason, the person sitting next to me now didn’t seem like the stern boss from the meeting room or the dangerous man from the hotel. It was someone I had never met before. If he turned his head now, there would likely be a face unknown to me.
“Of all the things I did to Lee Seodan on the bed, was there something so difficult that it made you bedridden?”
After a long silence, without mixing in his usual vulgar words, he asked straightforwardly. Even if I tried not to remember, I could vividly recall the Saturday nightmare that had haunted me throughout yesterday’s fever. I kneeled, opened my lips, and accepted his genitals until he was satisfied, enduring the humiliation in my throat until he was satisfied. Perhaps such clauses were in the virtual contract I had signed. But what happened afterward was difficult for me. It was complicated. It stung my eyes and made my throat burn every time I remembered, strangely painful.
“Until the day before yesterday… I didn’t know, but then I realized.” Gazing out the window without focusing, I murmured softly. “I didn’t understand why you made such a proposal to me, and it was hard to understand until now… But now I know it wasn’t difficult to understand at all. I finally realized what I did to make you dislike me, although I don’t know what it was, but just to me…”
“Wait.” He interrupted me. His voice was strange, and as I turned my eyes away, an unfamiliar expression of confusion lingered on his face. “It seems like I just heard something about Lee Seodan being disliked.”
“…I didn’t know, I only realized the day before yesterday. So…”
“When was the day before yesterday?”
“The day before yesterday…”
The words didn’t come out at the tip of my tongue. My face turned red, and he, narrowing his eyes, tilted his head to look piercingly at me.
“In this case, it’s not mockery, so understand even if the expression is explicit. When you were brought to do fellatio? Did you dislike that?” I shook my head silently. He lightly tapped his fingers on the steering wheel as if gauging.
“Then, the spank?”
“Spank…?”
“On your butt.”
Right now, my ears would be burning red. I avoided eye contact and looked down. The car was as clean as his personality. There was no dust on the floor as if it had just been cleaned.
“I can’t believe it.”
He muttered. After mumbling something too quietly for me to understand, he laughed. I flinched at the sound of laughter that I heard for the first time. There was a genuine joy in the light that appeared in his face, which was suddenly brought close to mine. He lightly touched my shoulder with folded eyes.
“Do you think I made this proposal to Lee Seodan simply because I had a dislike for him?”
“….”
“Do you think I disliked Lee Seodan, wielded power like crap, and called him to the hotel? Disliked him, made him kneel and spanked his butt?”
“….”
“So, did you think that?”
“….”
“Damn,” he spat out. I had been avoiding eye contact because I couldn’t figure out what to say since earlier. To be precise, I knew it wouldn’t be useful to explain.
“Well, isn’t it?”
When it seemed like he had finished speaking, I asked cautiously again, and he raised the corners of his mouth with a smirk.
“Did it hurt a lot?”
I blinked at the unexpected question. He kindly pointed towards my hip area with a chin gesture.
“Your butt. Did it hurt?”
“….”
“I didn’t think I hit you hard. It wasn’t child’s play. And if I spank a thirty-year-old, and Lee Seodan thinks this much… Think about it. If I had a dislike for Lee Seodan, wouldn’t I have dragged him to some alley and punched him instead of making him kneel on the bed and spanking his butt?”
It was confusing. The words entered my ears, failed to register as meaning, and exited my mind. With a laugh constrained by his lips, he watched me.
“Did you get spanked by your parents when you were young?”
“…Almost…”
“Lee Seodan, you’re sensitive, so your sense of touch might be delicate. Even so… Was it really that difficult? Did you get bruises? …Let me take a look right now.”
He suddenly reached towards my pants. Stiffly, I desperately blocked his hand. I anticipated the cold command to remove my hand, following the pattern that had been established in just two weeks, but he fell silent. Gazing at me intently, he brushed my still-dry eye area with his fingertips.
“If I force you to undress here, you’ll cry again.”
“….”
“Like a faucet.”
“….”
Although he pronounced it like a curse, his expression softened. Confused, I hesitated because I didn’t understand what he meant. He raised both hands and sat back, as if surrendering. There was no intention to forcibly remove the pants.
“Also, in my memory, at that time-.”
“Can we stop talking about this?”
As the conversation progressed, memories replayed in my mind, and the sensation of the buttocks that he had harshly struck, seemed to burn. Avoiding showing my face, I turned my head to the side. My cheeks were so red that they could be reflected in the window glass.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“…Alright.”
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“How could I…?”
“That right belongs to Lee Seodan. You don’t have to endure everything. I don’t know why I have to explain all this.”
He paused for a moment. Our eyes met.
“It seems like I misunderstood Lee Seodan’s common sense level. Still, even though we live in a country with laws, did you think I would accept whatever you did?”
“…Please continue with what you were saying.”
“Alright. Thirdly, I recently found out that I feel better when Lee Seodan cries in bed. Again, this is not an expression of dislike towards Lee Seodan. However, let’s refrain from crying in the conference room. Today’s was already tightly scheduled, and the team atmosphere has completely deteriorated.”
“I apologize.”
While I didn’t understand everything, I could comprehend that part. When I bowed my head in apology, he nodded briefly.
“If Lee Seodan makes a mistake at work tomorrow, I might scold you harshly, borrowing the impressive expression from Deputy Park today, as if catching a stray dog with a pebble. Of course, it’s not because I dislike Lee Seodan, but it’s a matter of basic work distinctions. Do you understand this as well?”
“Yes, I understand, but…”
“But?”
“Still…”
It was normal and rational. Laughter was mixed in the voice that reassured and confirmed each point. It was as if he wasn’t the ruthless tyrant who had spat out cold words and mercilessly wielded authority, the person who had been the center of nightmares all day yesterday. So, my dry eyes stung again. My throat tightened, and words were cut off. Even words that I hadn’t intended to say slipped through my lips.
“I… don’t understand what I did so wrong. I really…”
“Is submitting the task that was due on Friday on Monday a good decision?”
He asked with a somewhat imposing tone. I helplessly shook my head.
“That’s not it. Besides that, at first, to me…”
“Don’t cry, just speak.”
“I… without Han Team Leader’s permission… that it would cause such anger, I couldn’t accept…”
“What on earth are you talking about?”
He ran his hand through his hair with a sigh. I closed and opened my eyes. I didn’t intend to cry, so I had tried not to sit down and have a meal facing him. It was frustrating. My throat tightened, and words didn’t come out easily.
“I didn’t get permission, so… since you said getting spanked was a punishment, I…”
“Ah.”
He raised his upper body, and his focus returned. With one of the most incredulous expressions I’ve seen today, he looked at me. I held back my laughter at how disheartened his face looked. I nervously bit my trembling lips and looked up at him.
“This is getting more and more… like playing with a child.”
“…What?”
“What’s wrong? It’s natural to be curious about spanking Lee Seodan’s buttocks, isn’t it?”
“…Curious.”
“Does Lee Seodan still not grasp the concept of a simple play even at almost thirty?”
“…Play…?”
“Don’t do that, not even like a parrot.”
He lightly pinched my nose with the hand that wiped my cheek. He didn’t seem to be in a bad mood. No, he looked rather pleased. I couldn’t even count with one hand how many times I had shed tears in front of him by now. It didn’t feel embarrassing to fall to the ground too often. Sniffling, I swallowed back the mucus and he pulled out a pack of tissues from the glove compartment and handed it to me.
“Take this and go inside to work. Leave whenever you finish.”
“…What about you, Team Leader?”
“I’m planning to eat first. Are you really not coming with me?”
Even though the atmosphere had become awkward after the incomprehensible conversation, I still didn’t like that. I closed my mouth and nodded as I twisted my head. As if he expected that, he started the car.
“Then, get off.”
“…Wait a moment.”
“What again?”
“I… I don’t think I understood anything you said.”
Instead of getting angry, he smiled with another subtle expression of amusement.
“Well, it’s not surprising. It’s too long to discuss here, so let me explain it thoroughly. Every Saturday.”
“…Yes.”
“Collect yourself. Let’s do the work properly.”
Opening the car door and getting out, I stole a glance at his face before closing it. There was again a one-arm’s length distance between us. It was once again the stern face of a strict superior.
“Take care.”
Closing the door and bowing, I greeted him, and he responded with a nod. The perfectly parked car aligned with the line left the parking lot. Shivering in the cold, I stood there watching until the taillights behind him disappeared. Eventually, I turned and walked slowly toward the elevator.
Pressing the button and waiting for the elevator, I pondered. There was a gap in the shape of the question I had earlier. If I had asked it this time, he might have answered, explaining everything I asked. However, for some reason, my mouth wouldn’t open. The opportunity to ask seemed to have crossed the river and might not come back for a long time.
If it wasn’t just a simple dislike, what could it have been?
Why did you… Why to me, like this?
I searched for ‘플레이’ (play) in the dictionary.
Game, sports match, content of a game. It seemed there was nothing relevant as I scrolled down, but suddenly I caught my breath.
The spelling was different. Below ‘플레이’ (play), there was a word ‘플레이 (flay.)‘ It meant ‘(to peel off the skin) to whip or thrash.’
T/N: Lee Seodan confuses play with flay since there is no separate letter which is pronounced as ‘f’ and they write words consisting of f with the letter which is pronounced as the english p, in most cases.
***
On the Thursday before the Lunar New Year, I woke up to the muffled alarm sound and looked out the window. The parking lot was completely covered with white snow. The sudden heavy snowfall was surprising enough to make me think that people going home today would have a hard time if it didn’t melt. Bundled up tightly, even with a scarf, I went outside. When I came out, the dark dawn street was already filled with cars clearing the snow.
When I came out to the stairs in front of the company, there was even a light snowfall from the clean sky. I waited for the signal and crossed the street. Wondering why it felt unfamiliar, I realized that the wide sidewalk in front of the company was white and clean without a single footprint. Normally, it would have already turned into a dirty brown lump piled on both sides of the sidewalk, but because I came to work early, there was no one who had passed by.
I went up the stairs and came back down. With my scarf lifted above my numb nose, I meticulously filled the wide sidewalk in front of the company with my footprints, moving back and forth from one end to the other.
The lights were on in the meeting room. I thought it might be Manager Kim, but it wasn’t.
“Ah…”
The place where the monitor was on clearly belonged to the one of Han Team Leader. Since I had made my presence known, I couldn’t just turn around and leave, so I cautiously extended my head over the partition. A neat side profile, busy scanning the screen, came into view.
“Hello.”
I bowed my head to greet him, and something flew towards me. Startled, I caught it, and it turned out to be a navy-blue handkerchief.
“Wipe your hair.”
Han Team Leader said as he glanced up.
I raised my hand and felt it, finding small snowflakes on my hair. There was no mirror, so I couldn’t be sure, but if he threw me a handkerchief, my condition must have been quite serious. Feeling uneasy, I fumbled with the handkerchief and spoke.
“I can go to the restroom and wipe with tissues…”
“Since I already gave it, just wipe. Before the water drips.”
Not wanting to push it further, I unfolded the neatly folded handkerchief quietly. It smelled both unfamiliar and familiar. The rough and decadent scent I felt before, now seemed unexpectedly delicate and gentle when separated from the smell of sweat. Wiping my wet bangs with the damp cloth and mumbling a small thank you, he, who seemed focused on work, suddenly laughed, making a whooshing sound.
“People aren’t puppies.”
“What?”
“If you catch a cold, I’ll kick you out of the meeting room. Take care of yourself properly.”
“Yes.”
If I borrowed a handkerchief, should I wash it and return it? If I wash it, is it okay to use a washing machine? I had never borrowed a handkerchief before, so I had no idea. I unfolded the crumpled one with my palm and folded it back to its original state. When I placed it next to the monitor, it kept catching my eye at the edge of my vision. Even though my sense of smell wasn’t particularly sensitive, a strange fragrance seemed to spread to my fingertips.
“Lee Seodan.”
It was about thirty minutes into reviewing the documents. When I was alone in the early morning, I would spread out documents on the large meeting table, but now, with him present, I couldn’t do that. Instead, I had the keyboard set aside and filled the desk with books and notes. The voice from nearby made the pen tip slide smoothly. Han Team Leader, leaning his arm against the partition next to me, was watching me.
“Team leader.”
“If you have time, let’s have the meeting now. There are things I want to ask about the report you submitted yesterday.”
“Oh… Yes.”
“Come to the conference room when you’ve gathered the materials.”
Han Team Leader, turning his back, went into the conference room first. As he disappeared like the wind, I, still in a somewhat absent-minded state, rubbed my tired eyelids. Even in this alert state, going into a meeting that always turned into a dead end was daunting, but being summoned without notice in the early morning was quite typical of Han Team Leader.
I grabbed the printed materials and writing tools and stepped into the open document room. Leaving the door ajar, I sat down facing Han Team Leader, placing my buttocks on the chair. The report submitted yesterday was on the desk.
Han Team Leader, who was looking at the tablet, raised his eyes and said, “Let’s discuss after reading all the feedback.”
“Yes.”
The first page of the paper I looked down at surprisingly had no special markings. A few sentences underlined in red with bold strokes, a couple of sharp question marks unique to Han Team Leader. The next page and the one after that were the same. On the last page, there was one red exclamation point. Tentatively feeling it with my fingertips, the stroke was so forceful that it seemed to have left a faint impression on the paper. Feeling a sense of dread, I quietly closed the page again. I read the report again from start to finish.
“Team leader.”
Calling him cautiously, he finished the task on the tablet. Placing the cover aside, he looked up. Observing me, who had tensed my body as if preparing for bombardment and then suddenly opened his mouth.
“Do you think I’m too much?”
“…What?”
I looked up. Han Team Leader, with an indifferent expression, asked again.
“Do you think it’s too much to ask you to follow me in my work, study, and handle overtime? Don’t you think it’s unfair?”
“No, I’ve never thought it’s… like that.”
Unable to find appropriate words of denial, I closed my mouth and simply shook my head. Han Team Leader, who had been watching me calmly, spoke unexpectedly.
“Is that so? That’s settled then.”
“Team leader.”
“It’s good to work hard, but even if it’s a task at the support level, prioritize the work over studying. Working in a tired state often leads to mistakes.”
“Yes.”
“The report.”
He lightly nodded towards the paper in front of me.
“Explain it to me.”
“The entire thing?”
“About the part related to company D on page 3.”
Company D? It wasn’t the part I anticipated, so I blinked, and Han Team Leader took the report from me. Quickly flipping through it and pointing to the section related to company D with his fingertip, he rotated the paper so I could see and said, “This seems to be personal opinion masked under the guise of a summary, not the author’s perspective. Is that incorrect?”
“….”
“The author makes an effort to avoid premature conclusions even while citing cases, but Lee Seodan’s summary is clear. I remember mentioning something similar a few days ago.”
With a calm tone, it might have sounded like praise at first glance. While re-reading the part he pointed out, I desperately recalled the book in question. As I fumbled through, I remembered. It was an original text, and it was late at night. Moreover, the part emphasized in the original text wasn’t that crucial, so my mind had been lax. Organizing my thoughts and rereading my sentences, it turned out exactly as Han Team Leader had pointed out. It was a similar mistake to the one I was pointed out a few days ago.
“I apologize.”
“It’s not about the apology, Lee Seodan.”
Saying so, Han Team Leader paused for a moment.
“Lee Seodan seems to give excessive weight to individual influence based on the trends in previous reports and proposals. It’s easy to forget that there are many more cases in the opposite direction, where success stories are overly emphasized, and the opposite situations are far more common….”
He glanced down at the report.
“In the case of Company D, even if the consultant hadn’t stepped back, it would have been difficult. The client lacked the will for improvement, and the environmental conditions were unfavorable. Considering revitalizing a company on the verge of dying, with only ideas when the other conditions are not in place, is optimistic.”
“Somehow, whatever was said as I quietly listened scratched at me, and before I knew it, I found myself speaking vehemently.
“Still, you know, before trying, you don’t know.”
Expressionless eyes flicked toward my face. Unexpectedly, the eyebrows were slightly raised.
“Even if you can see the problem and know how to fix it, is giving up early not a cowardly act? Trying to convince the client first is-”
“Cowardice has another name.”
He interrupted my words.
“It’s called efficiency in the language of business.”
His tone was as firm as a blunt blade striking down. Every word seemed to be accompanied by numerous sharp thorns, leaving me unable to say anything, so I closed my mouth.
Han Team Leader closed his eyes briefly and then opened them with a tired expression. Slowly exhaling as if suppressing something, he continued speaking without looking at me.
“Don’t think that just because you compare consultants to doctors, companies will willingly lie down on the operating table. Entrenched things don’t change easily. It’s useless to question why. In the end, there might not even be a reason.”
“…”
“It seems like Seodan is mocking the system’s self-defense mechanisms. For example… People who stick to methods that don’t align with the system will either adapt and remain silent over time, or naturally get pushed out. I didn’t think I’d have to say this to Seodan.”
I closed my mouth as if receiving a heavy blow. Han Team Leader, still avoiding eye contact, stood up, taking his tablet and documents.
“Think more about practical implementation. Don’t rely on theory just because you lack practical experience.”
Without a farewell, he passed by me. The usually slower footsteps faded away, and the sound of the conference room door closing echoed in my ears like a piercing sensation.
The conference room had been bustling all day, and the atmosphere was lively. Even those who voluntarily performed tasks like this seemed happy about the upcoming break. Park, the assistant manager who had been typing away next to me all day, skipping lunch, suddenly stretched backward, groaning loudly. The creaking sound of the chair backrest was audible.
I am also questioning Lee Seoldan’s level of common sense. What is he? A snowflake? 🧐🥴
YEP !!! I really dislike characters like him. Making reading difficult.
Their conversation is so funny to me 😭😭 I really like seodan but I don’t think I wanna encounter ppl like him in real life cuz both of us won’t even utter a word to clear misunderstanding 😭😭😭