Author: aji (あじ)
Translator: sleepingjay
Seth, whose mean smile had been deepening, suddenly relaxed and his eyes softened.
“Lilius. To me, there’s no need for a grand reason or anything to care for someone, you know.”
“……”
“If I try to reason out people’s psychology, I’ll just end up a confused mess. So I just use a super simple criteria to decide — whether I like that person or not. With this, Lilius is also considered as a “person I like”. That’s how I approach it anyway.”
“That, doesn’t that mean even if that person doesn’t like you, you’ll treat them kindly?”
“Well, yeah. I said it right? That’s my own perspective. I’m just freely doing whatever I want to do as long as it doesn’t become a bother. My heart sticks to its own principles. That’s why I won’t be entangled by paranoia.”
Freely, huh?
Doing the things I want to do.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
As the words thudded heavily in my heart, I looked at Seth. The carefree, wind-like Seth—brave, unlike me who doubted other people’s intentions and constantly feared change.
Zs fztjifv ygfjat agfwyifv lc atf jlg.
Cr P kjr jybea ab rkjiibk vbkc atf kbgvr atja sfjgcfv ab mbwf bea, Vfat rjlv:
“Cmaejiis, P mjc rff atja sbe jigfjvs tjnf atf jcrkfg lcrlvf sbeg tfjga, vbc’a sbe Oliler?
Pa kjr j ufcaif nblmf.
Ktja ufcaifcfrr ilcufgfv lc ws fjgr jcv rtbbx ibbrf rbwfatlcu lc ws tfjga. Ktf kbgvr atja P kjr ublcu ab weooif ugjvejiis gbrf. Qtfc P cbalmfv atf kjs atf klcv glqqifv jr lo la kjr qjaalcu ws yjmx, P kjr jigfjvs wbnlcu ws wbeat.
“……I’m scared.”
Yes. I had always, always wanted this.
But holding it in my hand was extremely scary.
“I don’t know why, but I’m extremely scared. When I feel happy, I end up thinking it’ll disappear. No matter what, this will definitely not last. If I’ll have to return to the sadness after experiencing so much happiness, then it’s better to not know it in the first place. And, if I’m going to be hated, it’s better for me to hate first. …..That’s what I’ve always felt.”
“I see. But you weren’t leaving the Commander’s side.”
“……I didn’t want it to be known that I was thinking like that. More than Jill’s feelings, I was doing my best to protect myself. When Jill tries to get into my heart, I end up distancing myself.”
But such a closed-off heart, its cruelty ended up being leaked anyway.
The words, “I like you”—somehow I took it as a complete joke.
The expression Jill showed was always the same. No matter when, it never changed, and I seemed to be the only one that lost my composure. This was what I had thought at the time.
Gradually, Jill’s words, Jill’s kindness, Jill’s mind—I unconsciously began to think that they might be more trivial than I had first imagined.
But on that day, Jill’s words thrusted me before my own foolishness.
It wasn’t that it wasn’t visible, but that I didn’t try to see it. “I’m going to change,” was just empty talk. In truth, I was always afraid of change.
That was why I didn’t even know with what expression Jill had conveyed his feelings to me.
I couldn’t recall in detail.
Without me realising it, I had started receiving it like it was just a polite greeting.
At those times, what kind of face did Jill have? What kind of eyes was he looking at me with?
Because I, who turned my eyes away, hadn’t seen what I should have seen.
This chapter contains the reason, why I love Seth. He is great at helping people with realising, acknowledging and confessing their feelings. But Lilius has a great hurdle ahead, telling all that to Jill.
Thank you for the chapter!!!
I’m glad Lilius has Seth to sound out his feelings without any pressure. I think Lilius really needed that friend to give him a little push to be able to be more open.
Thanks for the chapter! <3
woo! thanks for the chapter! ♡
i found the podcast of some youtubers i like and accidentally spent all day listening and drawing to it, so my brain doesn’t have the space to come up with a meaningful comment right now :/
Thanks for the chapter!
Seth is such a good friend!!!!
Thanks for the chapter!
ugh..jill is so weak and doesnt want to fight for lily at all..dude you’re a lion..stop sulking. that lily have been through so many trauma and every time he’s the one have to manned up..for shame you lion.
what did you just say?? lol what it has got to do with Jill being a lion?? and I don’t get what you meant that Lilius is the one who’s always manned up when it was Jill??? the one who confessed? They had both issues with themselves. Don’t try to give the pot to only one of them when they are both fixing issues.
thanks for the chapter!