“…Yes?”
“Feeling unwell? You look tired. Let’s check if you have a fever.”
A large hand covered his forehead. His strength drained from his body, and his lower abdomen felt queasy. Thighs that were slightly apart now pressed tightly together, and the tips of his toes curled up inside the white socks.
“No fever.”
“I’m not sick. Just thinking about something else….”
“You’re being mean. Having other thoughts while I’m here.”
Hyun Gyujin, who handed the fork with tteokbokki to Yuwon, chuckled playfully. Even with that familiar laughter, Yuwon’s heart fluttered. Hyun Gyujin didn’t seem like just a friend.
“….”
How can I act so it doesn’t seem strange if I want it to be like a dream? Even if Hyun Gyujin touches me and hugs me…. A relationship where it’s natural. It can’t just be a friendship, that’s for sure.
“….”
If not like friends, then what kind of relationship should it be? Finding that answer wasn’t difficult. It’s a response anyone can come up with even if they’ve never tried it before.
…A romantic relationship. So….
With the clear answer revealed in place of the erased name “friend,” Yuwon’s heart sank. It seemed like he wanted to be in a relationship with Hyun Gyujin after all.
***
Dating…. The word with two vowels sounded round and round, and because of that, Yuwon couldn’t bring himself to say the word out loud, only rolling it around in his mouth silently. He jumped at the sound of his desk being tapped.
“Yuwon. Why can’t you focus today?”
“Ah…. I’m sorry…. I’ll concentrate.”
“Because you weren’t focused, you got a wrong answer on a question that shouldn’t have been wrong. Look here. You did everything correctly up to this point, plugged in the formula perfectly, but you wrote down one number wrong and got the wrong answer. It’s unfair to get it wrong because you didn’t know. It’s really frustrating to lose points for such a basic mistake after doing everything else right. Let’s concentrate when solving problems.”
“Yes….”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Qlat j uibbws fzqgfrrlbc, Tekbc gfnlfkfv atf rbiealbc qgbmfrr jcv atfc mbggfmais rbinfv atf qgbyifw. Snfg rlcmf gfjilhlcu atja ab vb atf atlcur tf kjcafv klat Lsec Xseplc, atlcur tf mbeivc’a fnfc yglcu tlwrfio ab rjs bea ibev, tf cffvfv ab yf lc j gfijalbcrtlq, tf tjvc’a yffc jyif ab obmer ja jii. Aera rlaalcu tfgf klat Lsec Xseplc kjr ilxf j wlgjmif.
“Let’s stop here for today. I’ve selected only the questions that have come up in the mock exams so far. Solve them by the next class. Next time, I’ll grade these, and we’ll take the test with more advanced questions.”
As Yuwon put the test papers away in a folder, he let out a deep sigh. Seeing Yuwon looking troubled, Lee Junseo, wondering if he was being too harsh, laughed and changed the subject.
“No questions? Can I ask you about relationships? I have a lot to say that I’d like to ask honestly.”
“Huh? Relationships?”
Startled by suddenly hearing thoughts from his mind aloud, Yuwon looked up at Lee Junseo. Even more surprised, Lee Junseo glanced at Hyun Gyujin once and then back at Yuwon.
“Yuwon, what’s up today? Your mind seems to be elsewhere.”
“Ah…. I’m sorry.”
“Why are you so surprised? Wait, Yuwon, do you have a crush?”
“Huh? Me? No…! I absolutely don’t date.”
“Judging by how vehemently you denied it, it seems like it might be true, right? Or maybe you want to date? Do you have a crush?”
“I don’t have a crush. Really, I don’t. I’ve never liked anyone before, not even once, really….”
Lee Junseo, surprised by this statement, looked at Yuwon with interest. It was fascinating to him that Yuwon, at eighteen, had no experience of liking someone, as it’s common for people to have crushes by that age.
“Really? Not even once? You’re not just saying that, are you?”
“Yes…. I really haven’t.”
“That’s interesting. You seem like you’d be popular. Has no one ever liked you?”
“I’ve received a confession a few times.”
“Ah, I see.”
Memories of instances where he could label them as ‘confessions’ flashed through his mind. Twice from girls, and if there was a problem, it was the four times from boys. Moreover, three of those boys caused a scene, driving me away because Hyun Gyujin went crazy. It was truly chaotic.
Of course, they had reason to go crazy. One suddenly tried to hug him while confessing his feelings, and the other two forcefully dragged him to a quieter place while holding his wrist. And the other one bought a bouquet of flowers in front of the academy and said he wanted to marry him. If it wasn’t for Hyun Gyujin, who reluctantly followed along and hid, saying it was strange and insisting on being alone with me, things could have gotten even more awkward.
“Was there anyone among the confessors you liked?”
“…No.”
“If you’ve never liked anyone, then Yuwon, you’ve never confessed to anyone either, right?”
“Yes, I haven’t.”
“You have very high standards, huh?”
“It’s not like that. It’s not that I have really high standards… or that I’m picky… It’s just that I’ve never felt that sudden, ‘Wow! I like this person!’ kind of feeling before….”
In fact, Yuwon had felt that emotion from Hyun Gyujin not long ago, but he kept that fact tightly hidden. Constantly reminding himself of Hyun Gyujin’s presence beside him.
“Ah, so you like something more destined… something like that?”
“If you like that kind of thing… Isn’t it a bit… ridiculous? Did the teacher ever have such an experience?”
“I’ve had such experiences too. If you look around, there are many cases where people suddenly start dating after just being friends, or even cases where they happen to meet through a friend of a friend and develop feelings.”
Suddenly starting to like someone after being just friends… Yuwon felt momentarily flustered, as if Lee Junseo was reading his mind. Perhaps it would be best to quickly end this conversation. While talking about such things during the remaining five minutes of free time used to be fun and enjoyable, today it felt uncomfortably awkward.
“What about Gyujin? Does he also like those destined things like Yuwon?”
“Not particularly, but I have high standards.”
Hyun Gyujin’s response was followed by laughter from Lee Junseo echoing into the room. Yuwon recalled the faces of the girls who had confessed to Hyun Gyujin so far. They were all famously pretty. Among them was even a girl who had debuted as an idol from a famous entertainment agency.
“Well, with that face, it’s understandable to have high standards. I envy you.”
Hyun Gyujin, who had such high standards, would never like me, especially since we’ve been friends for so long and are of the same gender. The discomfort of having such a conversation and the emotions I kept to myself began to intertwine, pricking my heart sharply.
“Ah, I should go now. Make sure to finish your homework. Yuwon, you always do well, so just keep doing what you’ve been doing, and Gyujin, just keep doing what you’ve been doing lately.”
Finally, it seemed like the uncomfortable topic of conversation was coming to an end. Lee Junseo got up with his bag, and Yuwon followed suit, leaving the room and bowing slightly at the entrance. The brief moment of discussing relationships felt more exhausting than the time spent in class.
“Why are you acting like this today? You keep spacing out. Is something wrong?”
“Huh? No… What… What’s wrong? There’s nothing… What could possibly be wrong with me…”
Except for one feeling he harbored for Hyun Gyujin, he knew everything about him. Perhaps he knew him better than he knew himself. That’s why he had to hide it even more thoroughly and never let on.
“Is aunt not coming today either?”
“She said she’d come around eleven.”
“Do you want to wait until then?”
Normally, I would have said yes, but today my mind was too preoccupied, and I didn’t have the energy to pretend everything was normal with Hyun Gyujin, the cause of this complexity.
“No, there’s not much time left, and… Well… You should go and rest too.”
“You keep telling me to go lately. You’re acting like a grown-up, Yuwon.”
Hyun Gyujin tilted his head as if dealing with a child, and Yuwon’s head, feeling heavy, sank into his hand as he left the entrance with the answer sheet file. Yuwon followed suit, waving as Hyun Gyujin walked out of the door.
“Bye.”
“OK, bye-bye.”
As the elevator, carrying Hyun Gyujin, who playfully said goodbye, moved, Yuwon returned to the quiet house and went to the room with a heavy heart. Even without trying to think, thoughts of Hyun Gyujin kept popping into my mind, making my head feel hot. Yuwon got up, opened the window, lay back down, and closed his eyes. The cold breeze that came in was so refreshing that it cooled his overheated thoughts a little, making him feel slightly more comfortable.
“…What if…”
I wanted to know how I ended up wanting to date Hyun Gyujin in the first place. But even after pondering deeply, there was no clear answer. After all, if I couldn’t figure out how I started liking him, there was no way I could come up with another reason. Yuwon hugged the cushion, which emitted a warm scent, and in the darkness, thought of Hyun Gyujin’s face.
What if I dated Hyun Gyujin… If, by chance, we really did start dating, what would happen?
Yuwon faced the round thought that kept popping up. Just taking one step forward felt overwhelming. Even though Hyun Gyujin thought of me as someone he liked, it felt strange. Even though it was just one step forward, Yuwon didn’t know what to do. It felt so awkward and uncomfortable, yet his fingertips tingled with excitement as he buried his face in the cushion. It was a long time before he truly calmed down.
