Mr. DiorCh80 - So, a bandit-turned-warlord

Translator:- Max

Editor:- Nine qJ8NsX


“Put me down!” No matter how much Jiao Qi struggled, Zhang Chenfei refused to let him go. He carried him on his shoulder all the way downstairs, and threatened to spank him if he dared to move around.

“In a while, we’ll go out of the elevator, and they’re all from your foreign firm. You don’t want them to see you being carried by me, on my shoulder, do you?” Big Dick Zhang put down his little wife from his shoulders, and hugged him horizontally again.

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The one hundred boxes of merchandise were still piled up in the lobby, and Vice President Liang was instructing several employees to move the things to the carts in the warehouse. Seeing President Zhang approaching with their own president in his arms, everyone stopped what they were doing and stared at him blankly.

Jiao Qi had no choice but to bury his face in his Lao Gong’s arms and pretend to be asleep. Md7Y32

“President Zhang is really a caring person. He didn’t even want to wake up the president even for this close distance.”

“Hey, other people’s Lao Gong never disappoints me.”

Zhang Chenfei carried his snatched wife and strutted forward into the car with his head held high, and told the driver to go to the mansion where he usually lives.

“Going to the apartment, right?” Shi Fei’s driver had exceptional understanding and an automatic correction ability for place’s names. He immediately started the car and headed towards their apartment in the city centre.

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With the driver present, Jiao Qi couldn’t ask any questions, so he could only squeeze in the back seat with Zhang Chenfei. The reason why he said squeeze was because Big dick Zhang didn’t let go of his hand the entire way, and insisted on having him sit on his lap.

Jiao Qi was unable to do anything, so he leaned on his Lao Gong. He tapped his smart brain, and asked Annie to analyse the situation and figure out what kind of script was this.

Annie: According to the special terms such as “gun barrel”, “foreign firm” and “Laozi”, the search results for the novel genres are as follows:

“Back to the Republic of China to do foreign trade” USl0oe

“The Turbulent Era of the Republic of China: Warlord’s Concubine”

“Accidently Entered Into the Bandit’s Lair: The Domineering Bandit Falls in Love with Me”

“Comprehensive Analysis of the Dao De Jing

“…..” This should have nothing to do with the ancient sage Lao-Tze who wrote “Dao De Jing”, so was he a bandit or a warlord? Pointing a gun at his father-in-law’s head and robbing his wife, seems more like bandits, right? Jiao Qi looked up at his family’s Lao Gong. VbDxly

“What are you looking at?” Sensing his little wife looking at him, Zhang Chenfei smiled and lowered his head, nibbling on his fair chin. The smooth and tender texture felt like freshly cooked silken tofu, tempting him to swallow it in one bite.

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Pcvffv, atf sbecu wjrafg bo atf Aljb ojwlis kjr ageis afcvfg jcv vfilmlber. Pa kjr kbgatktlif obg tlw ab qea lc rb wemt foobga ab mijlw tlw yjmx.

“Tbe…” Aljb Hl uijcmfv ja atf vglnfg lc atf ogbca rfja. Lf ifjcfv abkjgvr Itjcu Jtfcofl’r fjg jcv ktlrqfgfv, “Cgf sbe j yjcvla?”

“Hahahaha! In the past, yes.” Zhang Chenfei grinned, baring his white teeth, and couldn’t help but kissing Young Master Jiao’s face again. “But not anymore.” 2kC4yu

As they arrived at their destination, the driver got out of the car to open the door. Zhang Chenfei stepped out first and extended his hand, inviting his little wife into his embrace.

“I’ll walk by myself.” Jiao Qi slapped his hands away to jump out, but was caught by a pair of strong arms and was hugged again.

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“That won’t do. We are newly weds, and before we step inside, your feet must not touch the ground.” Big Dick Zhang laughed out loud and carried his little wife into the elevator.

The driver calmly shrugged and drove the car into the underground garage. This pair of old husbands were still so good at playing, and he thought it was only their family’s presidents who were still like this. The driver who unknowingly played the role of a mafia henchman was fearless, and planned to go back and share this with his friend Qiangzi later. EeUZu7

High-end apartments had one elevator per apartment. So basically, he would never run into neighbours, so Jiao Qi just complied with him.

“Who the hell are you really?” Jiao Qi put his arms around his neck, trying to relieve his Lao Gong’s burden, so as not to strain his arm after being hugged by him for this long.

Sensing the unease in the young master in his embrace, Zhang Chenfei furrowed his brow slightly. Despite trying to rid of the bandit-like aura over the years, some remnants of it still remained, unintentionally scaring his little wife. “You’ve just returned from studying abroad, and you may not recognize me. Don’t worry, I’m not a mountain bandit who steals food and people. Laozi here carried you home as your lawfully wedded husband.”

After entering the apartment, he carried him directly to their bedroom upstairs, and threw him on the bed covered with a thick velvet mattress. nPbRVA

Jiao Qi suddenly found that the decoration of the house had been changed again. The big water bed was gone, replaced by an old-fashioned bed with iron railings. The head of the bed was made of white wrought iron, and the square-shaped bed was covered with a bright red sheet and quilt. It was probably changed by the aunt in the afternoon.

Zhang Chenfei tore off his tie and threw it aside. He wanted to pounce on him and go to sleep, but he was afraid of scaring this young master, so he could only sit on the side of the bed patiently and introduce himself first, “My name is Zhang Chenfei, and my nickname is Big Dick Zhang. You should know this, right? The thirteen provinces in East China are now Laozi’s domain, and you will be Marshal Zhang’s wife from now on.”

So, he was a warlord who was born as a bandit. Jiao Qi summed it up silently, but suddenly felt something was wrong. “How can there be 13 provinces in East China?”

“You have stayed abroad for many years, so you don’t know the current situation in China.” Marshal Zhang unbuttoned two buttons on his collar. “I, Zhang Chenfei, am the biggest warlord in China, and my army is famous all over the world.” GcJpt

“What army?”

Dick Army.” Marshall Zhang said quite proudly.

“……alright.”

Seeing that Young Master Jiao was no longer afraid, but instead even began to look at him a bit fondly; Marshal Zhang was very satisfied, and went downstairs to cook for his little wife. JudiIK

He was no longer the bandit who used force and robbery to get a wife. He had become the ruler of the thirteen provinces in East China, commanding a million Dick Army soldiers. If it weren’t for his eagerness to bring Jiao Qi home, the Jiao family wouldn’t have dared to refuse the three books and six rituals.

Jiao Qi changed into his home clothes and went downstairs, poured some dog food for Guangzong, took out his computer and looked through the emails that Zhang Chenfei replied today.

The emails before 3 p.m. were all normal, but the ones right before leaving work seemed a bit off. It’s just that the overall direction was correct, but the tone was different.

【President Zhang Chenfei: What kind of bullshit is this? Go back and redo it! If you hand in something like this again, you will be killed directly. 】 jUQ3lM

“…” The email had already been sent and there was no way to remedy the situation. Fortunately, the proposed plan did have some issues, and the department that submitted it was feeling guilty, so they didn’t dare to voice any objections.

“Dong!” A small plate was placed in front of him, and the imposing figure of the Marshall had a serious expression on his face, who was wearing a small apron. “Dinner will take a while. Let’s have some Western to pad out the stomach.”

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There were a few small biscuits and a small cake on the plate, which were from the dessert shop from where Jiao Qi liked to eat.

“On regular days, with busy military affairs, we’ll be staying in this mansion with an old housekeeper who’ll clean it. If you can’t get used to it, I can bring you back to the main estate where we have servants.” Marshall Zhang said as he brought four dishes and a soup to the table, urging his little wife to eat quickly. “These are my skills from my bandit days. I wonder if you, a delicate young master, can handle it.” HD7a1k

Of course he could handle it, after all he had been eating it for so many years.

Jiao Qi picked up the bowl and ate each mouthful with relish.

Seeing his little wife enjoying the food, Marshall Zhang felt delighted. He still maintained an air of self-importance and used his chopsticks to pick up a large piece of fish for him. “Eat more and gain strength. I don’t want you to faint on our wedding night bed because of me.”

“Ke Ke…” Jiao Qi choked on a mouthful of soup, and raised his eyes to glare at him. OjVczb

“Hehe, do you know what I’m talking about? Tsk, that’s right, the foreigners have everything there, and our young master must also understand.” Zhang Chenfei winked and said.

Jiao Qi kicked him under the table. “Eat properly.”

“You dare to kick me!” Marshall Zhang’s face instantly changed. “In these thirteen provinces of East China, the last time who dared to kick my leg, Big Dick Zhang, had grass growing three feet high on his grave!”

Jiao Qi kicked him again. 2aw1fP

“…You are really capable.” The warlord gritted his teeth and put a piece of ribs in the bowl of his little wife. “Kick me again ba, I will remember it, and you will cry dad every day!”

The eldest young master of a scholarly family who came back from abroad had nothing to do with the vulgar bandit warlords. Jiao Qi took a deep breath and asked Annie to play some music to block those foul words.

Annie, in tune with the atmosphere, connected the living room’s sound system and played vintage Republic-era songs with the quality of a gramophone:

“If I didn’t have you,
How would I live my days?
My heart would be broken,
I wouldn’t be able to do anything.” SMkOLp

This home was impossible to stay in.

Marshall Zhang listened with great interest, seeing his lovely little wife was filled. He then pulled him up and started dancing to “Tie Mian Liang Bu Yao” together.

“We’ll do a good workout to help aid digestion since you have finished your meal, En?” Zhang Chenfei embraced his little wife and aimlessly swayed back and forth in the living room, without any particular rhythm.

“You went to see my father today?” Jiao Qi was held too tightly by him, so he could only lean on his shoulders. Seeing the two moving back and forth in the living room, the little golden retriever jumped up and down excitedly around its owner. c8763d

“Why would I meet him today? We had already agreed on this matter a few days ago. Why, he didn’t tell you?” Marshall Zhang sneered, thinking that Old Man Jiao probably couldn’t bring himself to speak up. No one would have the face to admit giving their son away to a brutal warlord as a wife.

These days, it’s rare to see marriages between men, let alone with a man who rules over the thirteen provinces in East China. Just mentioning it could shock people to death.

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It was a good thing that he didn’t go to see him today. Jiao Qi heaved a sigh of relief, because he was afraid that this guy, with his mind not clear, would really go to Jiaoyang and  yell at his own father-in-law.

After swaying for a while, the quick-tempered warlord became impatient. Picking up his fragrant and soft Young Master Jiao, he strode upstairs, threw him on the velvety quilt, and unhurriedly unbuttoned his shirt. 4bQMNy

“What are you doing again?” Jiao Qi propped himself up and sat upright.

“Sleep with you.” Marshall Zhang replied. He unbuttoned his shirt but didn’t take it off, leaving it half-open, revealing his handsome physique. He climbed onto the bed and flipped his little wife over, pressed him down.

“What time is it right now? I haven’t finished reading my emails yet. Wait a moment… mmm…” Jiao Qi struggled to push him away, but as soon as he sat up, Zhang Chenfei grabbed him by his pyjamas and pulled him into his embrace.

“‘Wait a minute?’ Heh. I’ll do it if I want to. No one has ever dared to tell me to wait!” His eyes gradually became dangerous. Marshall Zhang, who had run out of patience, showed his true ferocious face, and tore open his little wife’s nightgown. “When I, Big Dick Zhang, was a bandit, the number of men and women I ravaged were counted by mountains, and there were no less than twenty of them who died just while playing. You’d better be obedient, so as not to suffer.” URfo N

Jiao Qi looked at him indifferently. “Really, who have you ravaged?”

“Those playthings, how can I remember them?” Seeing that his little wife was unhappy, Zhang Chenfei immediately changed his words, and secretly reflected that this was his legal wife, and he couldn’t be treated poorly. So he patiently tried to coax him again, “Okay, I didn’t wanted to scare you. I married you because I like you. If I am satisfied, I will not take any concubine, only you.”

“You are still thinking about taking a concubine?”

“Isn’t it normal for a man to have three wives and four concubines? If you don’t behave well and make me satisfied, I will marry eight or ten concubines and then you’ll have to compete with other people for my affection.” The man who ruled the thirteen provinces said proudly. EVprDy

“Then I really cannot afford to serve you in that way.” Jiao Qi said expressionlessly as he fixed his clothes and then grabbed the Marshal by the ear, and tossed him out of the bedroom. “Go, sleep with your concubines.”


The author has something to say:

The lyrics in the text are from the song “If It Weren’t for You,” which was popular during the era of the Republic of China.

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Translator's Note

The sacred text or book of daoism by Lao-Tze

Translator's Note

Same pronunciation and characters as Laozi(‘I’ arrogantly)

Translator's Note

进门 can also mean to join one’s husband’s household upon marriage

Translator's Note

The Diao also means cool or extraordinary but since its the same character that is used ZCF nickname as we know him, it’s probably Dick

Translator's Note

“Three Books and Six Rituals” are Chinese traditional marriage customs and etiquette. The “Three Letters” refer to the documents used in the “Six Rituals”, including the Letter of Appointment, the Letter of Ceremony, and the Letter of Welcome. “Six Rituals” refers to the whole marriage process from proposal to completion. “Six Rituals” refers to the six etiquettes, referring to the betrothal, name inquiry, gift presentation, bridal dowry, wedding date selection, and the wedding ceremony.

Translator's Note

The word for day, sun and f*ck(in sichuan dialect) is the same. Everyone is free to think what he said.

Translator's Note

A traditional Chinese dance

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8 comments

  1. This will be recorded by Jiao-ge. U better buy dozens of durian and washboards to apologise to your little wife.