Translator: White Lotus
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Kiyoi was unsure of how long he had been preoccupied with his practice. When he exited the soundproof room because he was thirsty, the hallway was quiet. Coming from the kitchen was the sound of water running. When he peered in, he saw Hira washing dishes.
“Where are they?”
Kiyoi’s voice caused Hira to turn around with a startle.
“They already left. It was the last train they had to catch.”
Leaning against the kitchen wall, Kiyoi murmured a vague response while sighing.
“Kiyoi, I’m really sorry about tonight. The guys from the club were noisy, right? If I had known you would come, I would have turned them away.”
“This is your house, right? Why do you have to be so considerate of me?”
Actually, Kiyoi was about to utter the words that were already in his throat: ‘Don’t invite them anymore.’ The guys from the club were fine, but he didn’t like Koyama. He refrained from saying that, though, as doing so would make him appear jealous. He was, in fact, jealous, but he didn’t want to admit it. Considering this, he ceased talking and was sulking like a sulky child.
“This is a home prepared for Kiyoi. I want to put Kiyoi first.”
Hira stopped dishwashing and came over to Kiyoi’s side. Hira was gentle. Very gentle. He dedicated himself to worshiping Kiyoi. What could Kiyoi say to make him understand that all this was making him annoyed?
“Why are you only like this to me?”
“Eh?”
“When talking to the club members and Koyama’s younger brother, you speak normally, so why are you so polite when you only talk to me? Just talk to me casually, too. You can make jokes or even use crude words.”
“I can’t treat Kiyoi the same as everyone else.”
“But that’s what pisses me off. What the hell are we? You’re always so stupidly considerate of me; we’re not even friends like that, are we?”
“……Yeah, we’re not friends.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Hira lowered his eyebrows in the shape of an 'eight'.
“But we’re not lovers either.”
“That’s impossible.”
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“What’s the reason for that outright denial?”
“Eh, because…”
Hira blinked. There he went again. The same attitude that seemed to suggest, ‘What the hell is this guy talking about?’, as if Kiyoi were the one who got the wrong idea, made Kiyoi extremely annoyed. So Kiyoi took a step forward, and wrapping his arms around Hira’s neck, he forcibly kissed him.
“Ugh……nh…”
Hira attempted to push him away out of instinct. But Kiyoi didn’t let go of him. Instead, while clinging to Hira with all his strength, he desperately thrust his tongue into Hira’s mouth. Hira, who was hesitant at first, slowly began to encircle his hands around Kiyoi’s waist and hug him tightly. As a sense of relief intertwined with anger surged up within him, Kiyoi muttered in his head: See.
“……Do you do this kind of thing with someone who’s not your lover?”
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“S-sorry, I’ll never do it again.”
“I didn’t mean that. Actually I――”
Before Kiyoi could finish saying I like you, Hira shook his head in panic.
“I’m sorry, no, it was really my fault just now. Kiyoi is special. It’s wrong to use you as the object to do something like that. I’m completely aware of it, but I just got carried away…….”
Kiyoi forced himself to hold back the anger that was welling up inside him.
“What you’re saying is beyond my comprehension. Why are you freaking out now when we already did something more in-depth? Giving fellatio is acceptable, but kissing is not; isn’t that a contradiction?”
Hira pursed his lips as if he had been poked at a sore spot.
“…… Yeah. What Kiyoi said is right. I’m the worst. I should just die.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“But I’ve been repeating the same thing over and over for a long time.”
“The same thing?”
“Since high school, even after entering university, I’ve imagined Kiyoi while doing it.”
“Doing what?”
“…………”
Hira looked down, seeming to have difficulty speaking; ah…… Kiyoi recalled something. In high school, when he first heard that Hira had used his photos for masturbation, Kiyoi did feel disgusted, but now he no longer disliked it. Rather, he even thought Hira should keep doing it more and more.
“It’s not unusual for a guy. I don’t mind.”
“I hate it.”
Hearing Hira’s clear statement, Kiyoi’s eyes widened, “Huh?”
“After I did it, I felt really bad and wanted to die. I swore I would never do it again, but in the end, I found myself being carried away just as I had been a moment earlier. Despite thinking that I should stop, I still……However, I really won’t do that kind of thing anymore. Kiyoi is not someone I should be doing such things with. I’m really sorry.”
Seeing Hira bow his head in apology, Kiyoi experienced an unfathomable kaleidoscope of emotions. The guy he liked was apologizing to him, saying he couldn’t do it with him. Regardless of whether the reason was an excessive amount of love for the person, it was still a fact that he had rejected Kiyoi.
“……What’s that supposed to mean?”
Kiyoi frowned and raked his fingers roughly through his hair.
“I’m sorry, I’m not good at explaining things.”
That was not what Kiyoi meant. Hira once again started rambling on about those bunch of nonsensical things, such as how the king was this or the duck was that, and about a monk dedicating his life to God. It was utterly incomprehensible, but there was only one thing about Hira’s words that Kiyoi finally figured out, and that was: Hira would never become his lover. After all they’d done, including kissing and going further than that, as he wondered how it could be like this now, Kiyoi felt like crying.
“…… Has it ever occurred to you that I might like you?”
“Huh?”
Hira asked back, his eyes seeming as though he were staring at something strange, and Kiyoi’s anger drained away, leaving him feeling a sense of powerlessness.
“I know I’m self-centered, but you’re pretty much the same as me.”
Kiyoi thought he was special to Hira. There was nothing wrong with that. However, Kiyoi eventually understood that what was important to Hira was the ideal version of Kiyoi he had molded in his mind, not the real Kiyoi.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to understand you, even if it takes a hundred years.”
Kiyoi returned to the soundproof room. He picked up the script that was on the floor and stuffed it into his bag, then left the room. As he walked straight towards the entrance, Hira anxiously rushed after him.
“Are you going home?”
Kiyoi put on his shoes and turned around to look at Hira.
“I won’t come back again. Well then….”
“…………Huh?”
“Goodbye.”
He turned his back to Hira, who was still standing there, stunned.
In the middle of the night, Kiyoi was walking briskly through the residential area. Despite the fact that he believed this would be the last time he would see the scenery at the location here, Kiyoi didn’t feel any remorse. All he felt was resentment. If only he could trip over a stone on the road right now, hit his head, and instantly lose all memory of the past month or so. It would be easier that way.
He always believed that if he took the initiative to confess, they would immediately become lovers. He had forced himself to put on an uncharacteristic smile and had been careful with his words to avoid making Hira feel uncomfortable. He was ashamed of himself for doing that.
After arriving at the station, Kiyoi realized that the last train had already left. He cursed under his breath and waited for a taxi, but it didn’t seem like he would be able to find one anytime soon. In the deserted station, as his body grew progressively colder, his nose suddenly turned sour. Kiyoi bit his lip and held back the tears. He absolutely refused to cry over such an abhorrently annoying guy.
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Translator’s Note: Did you guys watch the movie? It was sooo good. After watching the series (season 2), I was literally dying to watch the movie. And the wait was worthwhile. My Hirakiyo is just awesome. The hot scenes were great. Especially the mirror one. Hehe…. Riku & Yusei again nailed it. Did you guys notice Riku grew a little taller too? Haha. Anyway, I love my Hirakiyo. THEY’RE SIMPLY BEST. Btw, I am aware that this part is short. But don’t worry guys, the subsequent parts will be really lengthy. I’ll thus ask for your patience. Thanks for reading XOXO
Thank you sooooo much Eternal-frenchtoast for the kofi. (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡
😍
❤️❤️
The film was worth waiting for. I don’t know what happened to my kids or to me, but while watching them kiss I was all squeaking and blushing like a teenager. Their chemistry skyrocketed.
We are getting closer and closer to the moment I was waiting for all this time. With every chapter my heart beats faster and faster. I might have to prepare tissues already 😂😭
As always, thank you for the wonderful translation ❤❤❤
Ikr… they’re BEST. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. I re-watch the hot scenes over & over again… haha.
Anyway, Thanks for reading ❤️ ❤️❤️
I haven’t watched it and wasn’t even aware until today lol I may not watch it until the novel is finished.
Thanks a lot for your awesome translation. 👌🏼
Thank you soo much for reading & appreciation..
Just to let you know, The movie actually covered the 2nd book/Volume which is “Nikurashii Kare” (sequel of “Utsukushii Kare”). Not the 1st one “Utsukushii Kare.” It’ll take ages if you wait for the book “Nikurashii Kare” 😅 tho there is no official subs (for the movie). Since u still haven’t watched it, I’ll suggest u to wait a bit longer for the official subs. ❤️
Thank u for the updates!!
Glad to be reading this✨ but wish i got to know about it after the translation were completed 🙈Ughh damn.. i really want H ira to realize that his God is a human too and in need of his feelings of love and intimacy to be reciprocated not just worshipped 😭
*Hira
Well, Hira has intense inferiority complex as he faced terrible circumstances & got moked by his classmates Since childhood. 😅
Anyway, thanks for reading ❤️❤️
Yay I’m finally caught up. Thanks for the updates!!!
Thanks for reading ❤️
You are the best. Please keep doing this translation..do not leave this in between. You are my only hope.😍
Thank you ❤️❤️
Hello Hello pretty lady..are you still working on translation? Can we get new chapter please ?
Yes sweetie, of course. It’s just that each part is really long, besides I’m still a student, that’s why it takes time to upload 😅 but don’t worry, next upload will be within 4 days. Thanks for your patience ❤️
😍 i m excited. You are my goddess. 🤗