Translator: White Lotus
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“I didn’t expect these Nishikigoi would be so pretty.”
As they were in the izakaya, which was crowded since it was the weekend, Koyama commented while checking the photos in the camera.
“However, it’s a little miserable that only when foreigners used the word ”Cool Japan” did we recognize its value; oh, thanks for accompanying me.”
After the chuhai was served, the two of them made a toast. In terms of beauty, these Nishikigoi exceeded expectations. Those streamlined shapes that glistened in silver were dyed in an elegant pattern of black and vermilion. There were also some koi species whose entire bodies were covered in a golden hue. The colors were so strikingly vibrant that even Hira, who was completely uninterested at first, couldn’t help but take out his camera and start capturing photos.
“Hey, I’ll show this to everyone tomorrow.” Koyama said. When he peered into the photo to check if it was a masterpiece, Hira discovered that it was actually a picture of him taking photos of koi.
“The impact of ‘Hira taking photos of koi’ would be immense, don’t you agree?”
As Hira tilted his head in puzzlement, Koyama laughed, saying, “You didn’t even notice?”
“In Hira’s photography, he deliberately takes photos of cityscapes with people in them and then goes through the trouble of erasing them from those photos. Then why not just shoot the scenery with no people around in the first place? But that also has a unique effect. Although the empty spaces are filled up with scenery, it can’t be reproduced perfectly; there’s always a subtle distortion somewhere. How should I put this— it makes people feel uneasy. Everyone thinks your photos are great, but they’re also worried about you. That’s why I want to show this picture to everyone to reassure them.”
Hira’s face turned red as he felt like a person suffering from incurable chuunibyou. When Hira bowed his head and said he was sorry, Koyama asked in return, “Why are you apologizing?”
“I was joking when I said ‘worried’, ah no, I was a bit serious. But anyway, everyone thinks Hira’s photos are amazing. I, too, think those are great.”
“I’m sorry, really, please stop praising me.”
The edges of Hira’s ears were burning. Sensing Koyama’s gaze on him, Hira was too embarrassed to raise his head.
“Hira, will you attend the photography conference next month?”
Koyama’s sudden change of topic caused Hira to look up.
“Well, next month’s theme will be portrait photography, right?”
“Yeah, some universities organize it together, and it is said that professional models will be invited to come to the studio.”
“I’ll pass. I’m not good at taking photos of people.”
“You’ve already taken photos of koi, so I’m sure you’ll be able to take good photos of people too.”
“I can shoot photos normally, but I don’t want to.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“But you’ve taken photos of people before, haven’t you? That ‘someone who can’t be classified’.”
“That was a special case.”
“I want to see.”
“Eh?”
“Those photos, show them to me.”
“I’m sorry. But those photos weren’t meant to be taken for others to see.”
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“You know, it makes me want to see them even more. Given that Hira has ever taken photos of only one person, I wonder what kind of portraits they are. Or, rather, it could be said that I’m curious to know what kind of person he is that made Hira take portraits of him.”
“He’s a very beautiful person.”
Hearing Hira’s words, Koyama was bewildered.
“What’s wrong?”
“Ah, it’s nothing. I was just impressed that you said it so firmly.”
Oh …… After realizing that, Hira’s cheeks rapidly turned red.
“Um, it’s not like that; however, it’s true that he’s very beautiful; not only is his face very beautiful, but his head is also very small; his hands and legs are slender; despite wearing the same school uniform as other students, he stood out significantly from them. He was a nonchalant person, but even the girls from other schools greatly admired him.”
“Huh, it’s a boy?”
His realization of what he was saying came too late.
“Hira, could it be that you’re that kind of person?”
Hira’s mind was in a mess. If he could find an excuse to get by at a time like this, he wouldn’t be at the bottom of the pyramid in elementary, middle, and high schools. Hira kept his mouth shut and lowered his head in silence.
“I’m sorry, that was a rude way to ask.” Koyama hurriedly apologized. “Well, I had no idea Hira was like that, so I was surprised, and now I’m starting to feel panicky. For some reason, I was wondering if maybe I shouldn’t give up just yet.”
Hira blinked, not quite understanding Koyama’s words.
“Give up? What do you mean by that?”
This time, it was Koyama whose face turned red.
“Ah, I… for Hira……”
“Me?”
Having never seen Koyama blush like this before, even someone as slow as Hira finally understood.
“…………Oh.”
Suddenly, Hira’s face started to heat up. As Hira was at a loss for words and could only freeze there, not knowing what to do in the face of the unexpected turn of events, Koyama let out a deep breath and then adjusted his posture in the chair by straightening his back.
“During your first introduction of yourself, I became aware of your dysphemia and felt there was a connection. I can understand because my older brother also suffered a lot since he was little because of it……That was the beginning, but later, when I saw Hira’s photos for the first time, I thought you were amazing, and from then on, things started to change…..”
As the corners of his eyes were getting red, Koyama finally lowered his head. Koyama appeared to be a very stable person who always expressed his opinion very frankly; Hira had never seen Koyama like this before.
To be honest, Hira felt troubled. It was the first time he was liked by someone in a romantic sense, but he had never seen Koyama with that kind of eyes. The only person who was in Hira’s heart was Kiyoi, and considering that impact as a norm, he probably wouldn’t be able to fall in love with anyone for the rest of his life.
At the same time, Hira felt disappointment as well. After learning how Koyama felt, they could no longer get along the way they used to. What about the club? In such a case, should one of them quit the club? Hira enjoyed the relaxed and calm atmosphere of the club, but——
“Sorry, I scared you by saying this all of a sudden.” Koyama raised his head and spoke after a protracted period of silence.
“No, it’s me who didn’t even notice it at all……. I’ll quit the club.”
Eh? Koyama’s eyes widened. “Why? Is it because you feel disgusted with me? If that’s the case, then I’ll quit.”
“It’s not like that.”
This must be made clear.
“I appreciate Koyama’s feelings. But I……” For the first time, Hira realized how difficult it was to say the words of refusal.
“You have someone you like. It’s the person in the portrait.” Koyama took the initiative to speak first. “I know that. It’s all right. I just like you, but I don’t have any expectations about having you go out with me or anything.” Ah, but it’d be nice if they could go out, Koyama added, pretending to be joking. “For people like us, even if we find someone we like, the biggest problem is whether we can be included in the other person’s love interest. I’ve always been heartbroken before I even had a chance to compete, so I’m just glad to know that Hira is the same as me.”
Koyama’s self-restraint was evident in his calm demeanor, which made Hira feel bad. But there was nothing he could do to comfort the other person; he didn’t know what to do. If he could, he would like to apologize and turn away. It would be easier that way. However, he should also respond properly to the person who sincerely expressed his feelings to him.
“……I…” Hira mustered up the courage to speak. “I don’t know if I’m the same kind of person as Koyama. It just so happens that that person is a boy, but even if he were a girl, I would still like him. He wasn’t at all interested in me, though.”
“But didn’t he let you take photos of him? You guys are friends, right?”
“It just happened; he and I are not friends.”
“You’re not even friends, yet he happened to let you take photos of him?”
“It’s not like we don’t know each other at all, but I was probably more like his gofer, running errands for him during lunch breaks or after school.”
“Eh, isn’t that terrible?”
As Koyama frowned, Hira got anxious.
“That’s what makes him a more attractive person. There’s no such thing as good or bad; he has his own standards and acts only according to those standards, although he was very spontaneous at times, but, how to say it――” Hira hated himself for not being good at expressing himself. He was desperately searching for more appropriate words in his mind.
“You really like that guy then.” Koyama said, and, well…… Hira nodded his head in affirmation. Ah, wait. At this time, even if you are lying, you should say “it’s not the case”. Just when Hira was fidgeting, not knowing what to do, Koyama smiled bitterly.
“In any case, I still like Hira.”
“What’s so good about someone like me……”
Hira really didn’t understand. Koyama tilted his head as though he were thinking.
“If you ask me, I, myself, actually ain’t very clear about this. It might be your temperament, your clumsiness, or maybe your dedication, and so on. That’s what it means to like someone, isn’t it?”
Indeed so. To like someone, you don’t need to have any reason. That’s why you can’t control yourself. You can’t escape from it even if you want to. Just like a gravitational force, you’re drawn to it involuntarily.
That was exactly how Hira felt about Kiyoi.
After drinking the chuhai, which had reached room temperature, Koyama picked up the menu and asked, “What do you want to order next?” There was also mango-flavored chuhai, and Kishu plum wine seemed to be delicious too. In the end, they both ordered the usual grape-flavored chuhai.
“Well, let’s cheers again.” Koyama lifted his glass.
“What’s this toast for?”
“You have to ask that?”
“Ah, sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Koyama said with a smile. “Umm, well then, let’s just say I’ll be looking forward to working with you from now on, or something like that.” Koyama teased him by bowing his head and saying, “Please take care of me.” Hira also bowed his head in response and then made a toast.
Words like ‘temporary truce’ came to Hira’s mind. Koyama’s confession and how he was going to get along with him in the future—these realistic issues were put aside for now, and both of them drank quite a bit that night.
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Translator’s Note: You all must be wondering why Hira Kazunari is called “Hira” by his friends or classmates while his family members called him by “Kazu-kun or Kazunari.” Well, I’ll try to make your confusion clear! The thing is– In Japan, like in China and Korea, the first name (also known as the given name) follows the family name (also known as the surname or last name). In other words, in Japanese, the surname/ family name / last name comes before the given name/ first name. For example: Hira Kazunari. Hira is the surname/ family name/ last name, & Kazunari is the given name/ first name. Same goes for Kiyoi Sou. Kiyoi is the surname/ family name/ last name, whereas Sou is the given name/ first name. Also in later chapters, you’ll get to see that Koyama’s older brother will call him “Kazuki,” not “Koyama,” as Hira does. (Koyama’s full name is Koyama Kazuki.) Actually, unlike many western cultures, in Japan, people generally don’t call one-another by their first name. Doing so can be a mark of disrespect, unless you’re very close to the other person or you’re a family member of that person. So Japanese people generally call someone by their last name, especially when they address classmates or regular friends (those who are not in a special relationship). Really intimate friends call each other by their first name/ given name. If a boy and girl call each other by their first names, you could assume they are dating.
Another thing that needs to be made clear is about “-kun.” As we all know, Kun (君【くん】) is generally used by people of senior status addressing or referring to those of junior status, or it can be used when referring to men in general, male children or male teenagers, or among male friends in Japan. Some of you are probably wondering why Hira’s mother or parents call his name by using the suffix “-kun.” Well, the answer is—it’s not actually only Hira’s mother. Most Japanese parents often call their children, especially boys, by “-kun” ( -くん), and they use “-chan” (-ちゃん) when calling their daughters’ names, even when they become adults. The suffixes ~kun and ~chan, are also used in terms of affection and endearment. You’ll find people in Japan using them when referring to their grandparents too. For example: -ちゃん お祖父ちゃん (Chan ojīchan).
I apologize for the lengthy explanation. I guess you’re all clear about these now. You are welcome to ask me if you are still confused. ❤️
Thank you Adele & Lin for the kofis(*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡
Thanks for the explanation!
Although I already knew this, I still find this explanation very useful. I really wish someone had explained this to me when I first started watching anime, I was very confused then and did not understand why some people call characters by one name, and others by another…😅
And thanks for the translation!🫰
Ikr! It’s really confusing to those who don’t know the culture of Japanese people. That’s why I took the initiative to explain it to the readers. Thank you soo much for reading. ❤️❤️❤️
As heartbreaking as it is, I just love it when someone encounters unrequited love and find peace in it. I admire those who go through this and continue to love regardless. Respect 👊🏻
Thanks a lot for your hard work explaining this for the readers. Have a good night/day to you. 💕
Thank you sooo much for reading ❤️ ❤️
Thnx for the chapter
Hellooo! I don’t know if you’ll reply to this but it’s okay 🙂
Thank you so much for this chapter and for the information. I would like to ask something. If friends, classmates or not so close people call them by their family name, then two brothers would be called the same? (As they share last name)??
Thank you so much