“Speak then.”
Shi Wudan nudged the plate in front of him forwards a bit. Sitting across from him, Xia Duanfang looked like he’d just been fleeing famine. His face was haggard as a starved ghost that’d come back from the dead. The pancakes on the plate weren’t very large; he could swallow one whole without even chewing.
He’d finished eight of them off before he painfully looked up at Shi Wuduan and croaked, “Tea….”
Shi Wuduan had lost his appetite from watching him eat like a pig, sprinkling crumbs everywhere. He was even more disgusted now, almost feeling thirsty on his behalf. He got a pot of cold water and poured a cup for him, which he downed in one gulp, then asked, “Full now?”
Xia Duanfang asked miserably, “What kind of meat filling was in these pancakes? How many coppers apiece?”
Shi Wuduan replied, “I’ll pay.”
Xia Duanfang instantly calmed down, “Oh. Get me another plate then.”
Shi Wuduan, “……”
Only when the second plate of food was brought up did Xia Duanfang say, as he sprayed crumbs all over the place, “We didn’t manage to find any trace of the Demon Lord, but we could tell that the court hasn’t had any luck finding him either. Otherwise, the emperor wouldn’t be moving against the sects so openly. The Mi Sect has always been tied closely to the Demon Lord, there’s no way they wouldn’t’ve dragged him into it.”
Shi Wuduan frowned, “Who told you to say that?”
Xia Duanfang said, “Eh? We’re not talking about that? Then why’d you send the brothers of the Seventeenth School to track down the Demon Lord?”
Shi Wuduan looked at him, fell silent for a moment, then suddenly waved and yelled, “Hey! Where’s the waiter? Tell them that the money for this meal’s on this fellow over here…”
Before he finished, Xia Duanfang hurriedly tackled him and covered his mouth, “Lord Sixth, a magnanimous gentleman like you shouldn’t quibble with a little guy like me! Pah! Ah, my damn mouth, why’d I go blathering off about nothing.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Shi Wuduan eyed him.
Wlj Gejcojcu tjv cb mtblmf yea ab gfqis rfglberis, “Qf’nf obecv bea Ibe Tjcijl’r ibmjalbc, jcv olclrtfv rfaalcu eq atf jggjcufwfcar bc Gjue Ebjv jigfjvs. Cii kf’gf kjlalcu obg lr atf gluta wbwfca cbk. Gbc’a kbggs, Obgv Vlzat.”
Vtl Qevejc cbvvfv. Lf lvis rqec atf afjmeq lc tlr tjcvr obg j ktlif, atfc jrxfv, “Ljnf atf rfmar wjvf jcs wbnfwfcar gfmfcais?”
“I’m assuming you already know that the emperor’s publicly listed Zou Yanlai’s crimes already,” Xia Duanfang replied.
Shi Wuduan nodded, “He was demoted to a peasant, and banned from ever taking office in the court again.”
Xia Duanfang sighed, “Exactly. The way I see it, the emperor seems to be a decisive guy. Too bad he’s never decisive in the right way.”
Shi Wuduan laughed mirthlessly, “It’s only natural that he can’t tolerate others snoring beside his bed. I heard from eldest brother that the Mi Sect’s frontline fighters are still on the battlefield. The emperor’s rather interesting. He’s clearly using them as mules, expecting them to pull his cart as he lashes his whip.”
A moment later, a thought came to mind, and he asked, “What about the Xuan Sect? What’s their situation?”
Xia Duanfang dithered for a second before responding, “Master Bitan’s refusing all guests and has designated all the sect’s operational affairs to his disciples. Rumor has it that he’s ill from overwork, and that he’s acting weak and feeble day in and day out. Jiulu Mountain’s somewhat special, so the emperor can’t easily make an example out of them. He can only put them aside for now and order them to reflect on their actions.”
Shi Wuduan frowned — of course the emperor didn’t dare act against Jiulu Mountain. After all, the seven lanterns had been lit on their ceremonial altar. Even if this emperor wanted to go against tradition by reinforcing imperial authority and stripping the sects of the power they’d held for thousands of years, he still had to act with caution. He said, “Did you deliver the letter I asked you to?”
Xia Duanfang’s expression instantly became very odd.
Shi Wuduan noticed at once and pressed, “What? What did Kuruo-shishu say?”
Xia Duanfang hemmed and hawed for a while before responding, “The people I sent did indeed meet Master Kuruo. She… she said: ‘I should’ve expected that that disgraceful bastard, Shi Wuduan, would murder his elders and fellow sect-members one day. I never should’ve protected him back then; I should’ve personally strangled him to death on Jiulu Mountain, so that I may be spared the shame I shall suffer upon meeting my sect’s ancestors in the underworld.’”
From his expression, it didn’t seem that Shi Wuduan had reacted in any way to the words. On the contrary, he seemed to have expected it. Some time later, he said calmly, “Oh.”
“Also…” Xia Duanfang lowered his head.
Shi Wuduan looked at him dubiously and said blandly, “What other unpleasant things did she say? Just repeat them, it’s no matter.”
Xia Duanfang was silent for a moment, then said quietly, “Master Kuruo didn’t say anything more. She ripped up your letter and kicked out the people I sent. That night, she…”
Shi Wuduan’s expression twitched. He asked, “What?”
“She hung herself from the rafters… and died.” Xia Duanfang took a lightning-fast glance at Shi Wuduan’s face and continued, “Right now, it’s still a rather hectic time, and the Xuan Sect doesn’t want any further disturbances. If they can’t explain it properly, the emperor could easily accuse them of ‘betraying the country and aiding traitors’ or something. They’ve likely suppressed the news and haven’t held a funeral…”
Shi Wuduan’s mind rang with meaningless noise. He saw Xia Duanfang’s lips open in close, but couldn’t hear what he was saying. The teacup in his hand cracked in two. A long while later, he muttered hoarsely, “What did… what did you say?”
Xia Duanfang pressed his lips together and said softly, “Lord Sixth… sorry for your loss.”
“But didn’t she say… didn’t she say she was ashamed to meet her sect’s ancestors?” he blurted unwittingly. Shi Wuduan didn’t know what he was saying anymore. Even his eyes became blurry and unfocused. He shook his head very slowly, “Didn’t she say……. Is she dead?”
“Lord Sixth…”
Shi Wuduan suddenly sprang to his feet and swept all the porcelain off the table. They clattered to the ground. Xia Duanfang grabbed him and asked, “Where are you going?”
Shi Wuduan wordlessly pried his hand off and left.
Xia Duanfang was already scared witless by his bloodlessly pale face. He yelled behind him, “Lord Sixth! Lord….”
Shi Wuduan’s footsteps got faster and faster. He flung the words “Don’t follow me,” at him and disappeared.
He didn’t know where he should go. All the same, he muddleheadedly mounted his horse and let the animal wander where it would, not knowing where it was taking him.
The most painful thing in the world wasn’t being failed by others. If that was the case, then one could simply let go of them if they pleased. Yet it was when one failed others that every time they thought of it, they’d be tortured by their conscience to no end, forever and ever.
No matter how cold someone’s words were, how callous their heart was, or how terrible their reputation was, no matter how vile or evil they were, everyone, at one point in their lives had had a sliver of conscience. As long as that sliver still existed, then they wouldn’t be spared the torment of nightmares. Every time they woke up in a cold sweat, they’d ask themselves… how had it come to this point?
How had it come to this point?
Shi Wuduan thought. What had that person, the only one who’d protected him when he was young, the only one who’d used their life to shield him, felt in the moment they saw Xia Duanfang’s messengers, that they could laugh in anger? And how had she felt, that she could hang herself that very night?
Oh… that’s right, he said somewhat vacantly to himself, Kuruo-shishu’s greatest fear was of the sect splitting apart, of fellow sect members slaughtering each other.
It felt as if there was a fire burning in his chest, charring his innards to ash; it was agonizing.
Shi Wuduan bent down, nearly falling off his horse, then laid curled-up upon the grassy field outside the city, his fingers clawing into the dirt, pulling grass out by their roots. He wanted to scream; he wanted to wail, but when he looked around at the empty wilderness around him, he merely held it in in silence.
That moment stretched so long he nearly believed mistakenly that the pain would never go away.
Suddenly, a lopsided little bug woven out of grass hopped unsteadily in front of his face. He didn’t know who’d made it, but it was ugly enough to make ghosts cry. He couldn’t even tell which end was the head.
The little bug didn’t seem to know what direction to hop. It could only wriggle its four uneven legs and bump up against Shi Wuduan.
Speaking of… what kind of bug had only four legs?
Shi Wuduan stared blankly for a moment before slowly sitting up, letting the four-legged thing jump onto his leg. Then, he saw a person standing a short distance away. That person seemed a bit awkward and at a loss. He met his gaze and hurriedly looked away. A moment later, he couldn’t help looking at him again.
He repeated that utterly meaningless action many times before he finally mustered up the courage to say, with a stiff and abnormally serious tone, “How about you… smile?”
TRANSLATOR NIM!!!!😭😭😭 HOW COULD YOU END IT HERE????😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. PLEASE, SOMEONE, MOURN AND BURY ME, COZ I’M DEAD!😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
That is exactly how I felt when I first read this novel, except you put it to words a lot better than I could!
Well said. It has taken there too. 🙏👏❤️💐
+1
+1
+1 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Very well said!
OAO ml returns to become an innocent good boy, low-key cute.
Thank you for the chapter!
💙💙💙
HOW ABOUT U SMILE HUH! HUH!?!!?!?!?!!!!!!!
HAJABAJABABSJA THIS IS SO CUTE IM SO HURT RN LIFE IS SO SAD WHY AM I EVEN SOLIDIFIED AND FORMED AS A HUMAN..
Swd has been fighting despair for so long I’m actually surprised he finally gave into it like this. Man I’m crying for him. Her death was like the final straw, and now Bai Li is back to being the man of SWD’s dreams and hopefully can make things less bleak.