251
However, what I didn’t expect was that after we finished all that nonsensical magical power of love whirling, there would be an underwater scene in the afternoon.
Ever since I learned the doggy paddle in the river in primary school, I’d never entered the water again. So now, I would rather continue whirling circles than be dropped in the water…
But the director was already rolling up his sleeves and glaring at me like a tiger, all ready to dunk me in.
Feeling sorry for myself, I hugged myself tightly, leaving behind technically perfect tears.
252
In the novel, to push the development of the emotional line, I resolutely let my darling shou soak in water for a very long time. By the time he was fished out by the gong, he was already unconscious and dead to the world.
In such a classic moment, how can you do without CPR?
But now, I definitely won’t let that supergay Jiang Ran touch my lips. Most, definitely, not!
253
Thankfully, the director found his conscience this time, allowing me to change the screenplay, letting Jiang Ran use his cultivation power to give me the breath of life instead.
Coming to this thought, I shut my eyes, straightened my limbs, going on my way with a peace of mind.
I must have accumulated good karma from my past lives.
254
Cough, cough, cough, cough! Why is this water so frigging cold and salty?
As a fat otaku who hadn’t swum in over a decade, I was like a human machine… no, that’s not right, I was like a steelyard weight. Unprepared, I choked on a good few mouthfuls of water, sinking down with a gurgling sound.
I looked at the camera.
Eff. Do I even need to act unconscious? Laozi is going to drown irl already!
255
I tried to surface for breath, but I ended up moving too fast, breathing in a long dragon.
Coughcoughcough… I feel like my soul is departing for the heavens right here.
I really want to kneel down and beg the director to let Jiang Ran quickly dredge me out.
If Mo Shuyao cries in the water and only fishes are around to hear it, does he make a sound?
256
Finally, Jiang Ran came to scoop me out.
He supported my waist, and I instinctively spat out white froth.
And then, there wasn’t any and then…
?? Jiang Ran? What are you dawdling for?
You weren’t really thinking of letting me drown half to death so you can do CPR right?
Despicable! Supergay!
257
After being tormented for half a day, I basically laid flat on the ground.
Jiang Ran supported my upper body, beginning to use that lvl 1,000,000 VFX cultivation power.
“Stopstopstop!” The director suddenly cut the scene. “Mo Shuyao, your character is on the brink of death, how can you still sit so pencil-straight? Hurry up and lean into Jiang Ran’s hold!”
“……” My eyelids twitched, saying in my head, ‘Does this director feel his skin itch if he doesn’t knock us up together for a day.’
I feel that I should bring him for a visit to the dermatology department.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
258
Ccv j mtliis klcv pera tjv ab yibk gluta atfc.
Zs fcalgf ybvs kjr vglqqlcu kfa. P uglaafv ws affat abufatfg, rtlnfglcu.
259
Aljcu Ejc pjyyfv ws kjlra. “Zb Vtesjb, sbe rqfca abb ibcu rbjxlcu lc atf kjafg. Aera kbgx klat wf jcv delmxis olclrt oliwlcu atlr. Gbc’a mjamt j mbiv.”
The thick costume was plastered to my body. I was already slightly dizzy from the cold.
But I, Mo Shuyao, am a man of steel. How can I bend my waist to the forces of gay?
260
Seeing that I showed no response, Jiang Ran straight-up held my shoulders and forcibly stuffed me into his embrace.
!! I contracted my neck inwards, shooketh. But Jiang Ran’s body was warmer than mine. After shivering for a while, I still leaned into him.
And that despicable paw of his began to wander around my body.
Despicable. Those who don’t repay their grudges can’t be called gentlemen.
261
By the time filming ended, I’d already lost all sensation.
I don’t understand. Is this production crew endorsing the core socialist values? Why is everyone taking it so seriously?
The film emperor doesn’t use stand-ins for his fight scenes, and an actor spends several hours soaking in the water for a single underwater scene?
What a mad, mad world.
262
The crew hurriedly handed Jiang Ran a woollen blanket and ginger tea.
I indifferently sat to one side, watching them shower Jiang Ran in their devotion.
All of a sudden, Jiang Ran said, “Leave me be. Teacher Mo has been soaking in the water longer than me.”
The crew then remembered that there was a pitiful little me, tossing me a blanket. I hastily picked it up and bundled it around myself.
Then they passed a cup of ginger tea over.
Tss, it’s hot…
My shivering hand couldn’t hold it steadily. The brown liquid flowed to the floor.
Sigh, Mo Shuyao, is your hand a pig trotter?
263
Jiang Ran immediately took a new cup and sat by my side.
“Are you alright?” He patted my shoulder.
I pursed my lips. My throat was growing tighter. I actually was unable to speak.
“Cough, cough…” I responded to him with a series of coughing.
His brows bunched together. “Mo Shuyao, did you choke on water?”
“I’m fine.” I massaged my throat.
Jiang Ran put the ginger tea in my hand. “Try and drink a little to moisten your throat.”
264
I sipped a little tea and felt my body warm up slightly.
“Are you feeling better now?”
I softly made a sound of assent.
Jiang Ran nodded. Then, pensive, he turned to look at the director. “Director, postpone the night shoot today.”
?? Hearing this, the cup of tea in my hands almost fumbled out of my grip.
Because the way Jiang Ran said this wasn’t in a questioning tone, but as a command.
Whew, Film Emperor Jiang, you have guts I give you that.
But little did I expect that the director would merely frown, and after a few seconds of hesitation, nod in agreement.
?! Jiang Ran, what the heck? Explain??
265
While I sat dumbfounded, Jiang Ran whisked a few more blankets from who-knows-where, drying my hair before bundling me up several rounds in it, absorbing most of the water.
“……”
Given that my body was really feeling quite uncomfortable and that Jiang Ran was too skillful in these motions, I didn’t even have the time to curse him and summon my Farke Eel. Before I realised it, I was already bundled into a ball and shoved up the van.
From the sidelines, several of the young assistants squealed in excitement. “Jiang Ran is really too perfect. I want to marry him!”
266
Wts! Jiang Ran, you’d better watch yourself. Wait until I get better, I’ll definitely not let you off.
267
“Go straight to take a shower and rest after we return to the hotel,” he chided me.
Laozi knows this general knowledge even without you having to tell me.
Pls, did anyone ask you to mind me, huh?
268
After returning to the hotel, I showered and fell asleep as soon as I dropped into bed.
It feels great not needing to work overtime.
269
I slept like a dead pig. An unknown length of time later, I heard someone knocking on the door.
I pulled into consciousness, then found that my limp body was really unable to muster any strength, and my throat was so sore that I couldn’t speak.
Oh fudge, could I be having a fever?
270
The sky had already turned dark.
Jiang Ran shouted anxiously from outside the door. “Mo Shuyao, are you feeling okay? Hurry up and answer me!”
If I really could say anything, I would definitely be cursing for him to screw off.
But what I never expected was that in the next second, the door handle would press down, and Jiang Ran would directly come charging in.
!!!
271
I didn’t have the habit of locking my room door as I was too used to living alone. I never expected that this bastard would actually take advantage of this.
He came hurrying over. I guess that my face must be looking quite flushed now. In his eyes, it was definitely a delicate ‘ah, ah, ah’ little shou.
Ugh. Gross.
272
He only took one look at me before straightaway placing a hand to my forehead.
“Are you having a fever?”
!! Taking advantage of when I’m downed!
My throat was feeling too uncomfortable for me to shout. I could only exert all my strength to give him an eye roll.
Jiang Ran immediately took his phone to call his assistant. “Quickly get me some fever medication, whatever that can be bought from the pharmacy!”
“You don’t need to care about me!”
I was so anxious that I yelled hoarsely. Maybe because I put too much force into yelling, my voice broke.
In a split second, I felt a needle-sharp pain in my throat. I whipped my head away to hack away furiously for a while.
“How can I not care when you’re already like this!” Jiang Ran also yelled back at me.
…are you frigging acting the tyrannical CEO trope?
I glared viciously at him.
I feel that the god-tier sand-sculpture drama Jiang Ran acted in three years ago suited him too well.
He can just keep acting it for the rest of his lifetime for all I care.
273
In the end, this supergay really camped in my room. When his assistant brought the medicine over, he jabbed the thermometer at me.
“Your temperature’s already 39°C.”
I wet my throat, squeezing out a flat “huh”.
As he searched through the medicine for me, he asked, “Why is your body constitution so poor?”
My throat was hurting. I couldn’t be bothered to answer his nonsense.
I was a fat otaku in the past; ate and slept then slept and ate. It’s been a long time since I had such a high-intensity job. Obviously, it’s because I’ve overworked it, d’uh.
274
Jiang Ran adeptly boiled the water and heated the tonic, then supported me up and even found a few pillows to prop me up.
I saw him busying about and really, it surprised me… I never expected that he was actually quite good at taking care of others.
275
As an expert parody mashup artist, an appropriate BGM automatically started to play in my head.
What a mad, mad world. Even a film emperor would be a caretaker~ ♪
Cat so long, mouse so strong, strong~ Cat so so long and the mouse so strong~
I care you, dare you, bare you, not only I fear you, and your mamamiya~
Drink up eat up shut up, touch leg~ kiss a mouthful of laozi…
Eh, hold up! Something doesn’t seem quite right…
276
“Why are you still so happy?” Jiang Ran handed me a tonic in a cup.
I looked into the warmth pooling deep in his gaze and instantly felt like five lightning bolts had struck my head.
AHHH, mamamiya. Blasted granny mass-production habits, I actually entered the wrong BGM!
Original – link (autotuning)
Translated – link (voice dubbing)
Lifted most of the lyrics ‘translations’ from the above link. Absolutely brilliant btw, watch this for a good laugh, esp if you know Chinese. For those who don’t, nage = that, niubi = dope. Also provides examples of parody mashups other than the Shinee Shama-Te introduced in c1.
thanks for the chapter ♡
Hahahahhaha
Thank you for the chapter 🤍
thanks for the chapter <3
Pfft.. that last scene. Mo Shuyao got betrayed by his own habit 🤣
will he ever stop being angry !!! it’s already chapter 18 and still the same always angry always against everyone If I were Jiang Ran I will not keep with his nonsense
Will you ever stop MS
So weird to read about the old techniques in CPR. If you are not informed, current health professionals had adviced not to use mouth to mouth resuscitation unless in extreme circumstances, health workers had adopted this since a decade ago now.
I want to read that novel 😂✌️ with special whip plus uncensored version me hunting for nsfw content be like gimmi that novel now!