Despite it being a Saturday, Wei Qing doesn’t expect his brother to still be at home. After all, Wei Qiwan is one of those people who fills his silence with work. Even on weekends, it’s at least a half-day commitment, in private dining rooms and at country clubs, if not at the office itself. And then, there’s the way he insists on torturing himself at the gym. Wei Qiwan’s Saturday mornings had long stopped belonging to himself.
Probably part of the reason he can’t meet anyone.
So Wei Qing’s not expecting it when he walks out, still fiddling with the new clothes he’s found in ‘his’ room and sees his brother glaring at a line of takeaway boxes like he’s trying to solve a riddle. Wei Qing stops pulling at the hem of the suspiciously well-tailored v-neck and enters the kitchen.
Four takeaway boxes are in the style of the building, two are not–
Wei Qing pries, eager for distraction, “Taking up competitive eating?”
“You’re one to talk.” Wei Qiwan opens the boxes with the air of catching an adulterer. “One night, a single night, and I’m getting anonymous food deliveries with detailed notes about how last time you were here, you had an allergic reaction to something in the kitchen, so you should eat from these instead.”
Wei Qiwan gestures to the two larger boxes, one Western-style breakfast with potatoes and omelet and steak, one classic with dumplings and soup and dough sticks. Wei Qing’s heart catches a little when he notices it’s to his taste, but not handmade. As if Yue Fei wants to take care of him, but doesn’t know if he’s allowed to. If Wei Qing would want to eat what he’d created. Wei Qiwan is still grumbling, all the while plating the ‘safe’ meals nonetheless.
“As if I need him reminding me about my own building’s restaurant.”
Wei Qing, eyes a little teary, glances at the boxes. “Did you remember?”
“Who would remember that?! It’s one meal, years ago!”
Yue Fei.
Yue Fei is the kind of person who remembers that. The kind who can figure out where he is and quietly clear his obstacles, who will endlessly worry about him, even with how the night had ended.
Yue Fei can’t have done those things he said. If he had, he must have been drugged or brainwashed or forced into it through some sort of dog blood plot that Wei Qing’s early-morning brain can’t fathom. Breakfast, love, a million little things– Wei Qing knows even more clearly that something impossible had occurred, for Yue Fei to say such things. Yue Fei is-
Wei Qing ends up bursting into tears over his first forkful of omelet and rushes to the bathroom, throwing out something about a pepper allergy as he tries to hide his ‘unmanly’ face from his brother. Even if he’s an absolute watering pot in front of Yue Fei, in front of Wei Qiwan, he still wants to save some face.
Wei Qiwan looks down at the pepperless plate and follows. He’s still not good at these things.
“If you fought, you fought.”
No response except the sound of the shower turning on for the second time in as many hours. Wei Qiwan counts to ten and pulls up the notes on conflict resolution on his phone.
I statements. Huh. Sounds like bullshit but…
“I feel concerned when you’re erratic.” Why does that still sound judgy? Stupid internet. But in for a penny, in for a pound.
“As your brother, my door is open, but my-” my heart is too? No, that’s way too fucking- just no. A’Qing will think he’s having a stroke if I say that. Also, Wei Qiwan’s not sure how much he actually wants to know about his brother’s romantic troubles. His heart’s openness has limits, it’s not a snake able to unhinge its jaw. Just the general outline is plenty, but the only outline Wei Qing has right now is that Wei Qing is physically unharmed, and Yue Fei isn’t hovering at his side. It’s actually a decent amount of information.
Obviously, something happened, because Wei Qing without Yue Fei is equivalent to lightning absent thunder. Plus there was Yue Fei’s text last night, asking if Wei Qing was with him and safe.
Wei Qiwan is somewhat pleased to be relied on. But he’s also off-balance over it.
“If you’re hiding out, I can drive him away?”
Wei Qing flings the door open, naked as the day he was born except for a single washcloth covering his branch of the family tree. “Don’t!”
Wei Qiwan’s eyelid twitches as, against his will, he gets an eyeful of a light pink kiss mark on his brother’s hipbone. He grabs the nearest fabric, which happens to be a poor curtain that did nothing wrong, and throws it at Wei Qing before turning around and addressing his remarks to the room.
“Stop opening and closing doors so suddenly!”
“And don’t waste food!” There’s already six meals for two men, you can at least finish one of them!
Wei Qing snorts in a way that makes Wei Qiwan’s palm twitch, and he decides the internet (and talking) is for morons. He’s halfway out of the room when Wei Qing starts speaking, the sounds of rustling fabric giving Wei Qiwan some psychological comfort and returning the sense of control that comes with obedience. Even if he’s pretty much never in control with Wei Qing anymore, it’s nice to pretend.
“Yue Fei told me something that I don’t want to believe.”
Wei Qiwan’s mind goes to Gao Zhong and his fists clench. Yue Fei can’t know much, so if Wei Qing is this upset over whatever he said, then if he ever learnt the truth, surely-
“Da-ge, do you think…” Wei Qing pauses. “…If someone told you that they did something terrible, something that doesn’t sound like them at all, what… what would you do…?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Wei Qiwan walks out, beckoning his (presumably) re-dressed younger brother to follow him into his home office.
—
After a sleepless night, Yue Fei woodenly performs his duties.
He sends out the dry-cleaning and the trash that is only half-full. He checks the state of Wei Qing’s toiletries and tentatively plans his schedule. He straightens the throw pillows on thei- on Wei Qing’s couch, and orders the groceries for this week’s planned menu.
He loses his composure and stares for a long, long time at the order amount, wondering if he should halve all the portions.
He closes his eyes and does so.
He dusts and waters the plants and packs his overnight bag and his identity card.
Wei Qing still doesn’t return.
He sits at the edge of his bed like a prisoner awaiting transfer. He thinks he cries. He’s not sure.
—
Wei Qiwan can’t watch Wei Qing watch those interviews.
He tries, he does, but almost as soon as Yue Cibai is mentioned, he has to set the report to autoplay and excuse himself. If he stays, his brother is going to look at him with those wounded eyes and ask him things and god forbid, maybe even tell him things.
Things that make Wei Qiwan’s breath shorten and pupils contract.
When she’d mentioned coercion and force, Wei Qing-
Wei Qing looked like he understood.
Wei Qiwan never wanted him to have that understanding. So he tosses a box of tissue and flees his own study and his own report and the reality of all that might have happened to his little brother, when he was being a total fucking joke of a protector.
Red-eyed and needing to shift the blame, he texts Long Shouning, promising to call her whatever she wants, no expiration date, if she’ll punch her middle brother in the face for him.
Forty minutes later, she sends a video of a red-clawed talon turning into a fist and delivering a beautiful and vicious left cross to her ‘obviously just woke up and answered the door’ brother. She even zooms in on his bewildered expression and adds a loop of sound effects. Attached to the video is a simple message:
[Remember your words, QiQi].
He’s definitely in danger, but Long Shouning’s domineering aura does indeed help him distance himself from truths that he doesn’t think he can bear. Avoidance is a family trait. After a beat of stabilization and three loops of that asshole with the terrible advice getting what he deserves, Wei Qiwan still goes ahead and tries to ferret out anyone who might have dared force his brother.
Raids on nightclubs and chats with drug dealing scum seem like a good place to start. He might just be a regional president who can’t make a dent against those big families, but he has enough dirt on small fries to at least help his police brothers along.
—
When Wei Qing finally comes out of the study, long after the final runtime of those reports, it is to the sight of his brother obviously causing trouble. How unexpected. Wei Qing panics for just a second, before seeing a rogues gallery that is only connected to Yue Fei through him.
Sure enough, Wei Qiwan’s brain circuits are still one of the universe’s mysteries.
Wei Qing taps his shoulder and Wei Qiwan jumps and hides his phone, which appears to be playing a catfight on loop. Ah? Is this his brother’s special interest? Whatever, not his business. He tosses the empty tissue box back at him and hugs his elbows.
“Thanks.”
“En.”
Wei Qing raids his fridge, pulling back out both of the breakfasts sent by Yue Fei and reheating them with moves that clearly impress Wei Qiwan. Right. His brother hasn’t seen his skills, since they were learned for Yue Fei. Yue Fei who is (hopefully) still at home.
Wei Qing’s appetite leaves again and he turns off the stove. He asks what he’s been wondering for awhile now.
“Why did you have that?”
Wei Qiwan exhales. “Dad told me a little, when he found him. Once you two, whatever, I… just making sure he was good enough.” Wei Qiwan pops his thumb joint, clearly forcing himself to add, “I don’t think you should hold it against him. Unless he does something to you, you can probably…”
“I know. I won’t. I don’t. He-” Wei Qing gulps. “He didn’t explain well, and I couldn’t stay to listen.”
“Well, it’s still early.”
Wei Qing nods and abandons breakfast for the second time, this time heading for the foyer. He can hear his brother following after him. But he doesn’t want to stay and chat and leave Yue Fei hanging, all alone and believing those terrible things. If he starts now and jogs a little, he can be home faster than calling a car.
“I have a car.” Yeah, no shit Mr. President, who doesn’t have –
Oh.
Wei Qing coughs and lets Wei Qiwan lead him into his private elevator and into the garage.
That… Since he wants to be nice. And it would be faster. Wei Qing gets into the car, experiencing the novelty of being in a passenger seat after his brother refuses to let him sit in the back. ‘Not a fucking chauffeur,’ he’d growled. Wei Qing thinks maybe he’s just lonely. On account of being an emotional idiot.
Lotta that going around.
It’s a quick drive, made faster by Wei Qiwan’s frankly terrifying approach to driving, which can be best described as a cross between ‘carry a big stick’ and ‘Jesus, take the wheel.’ No wonder he has so many drivers on retainer. When he doesn’t, it’s hard to look at.
As the pillars of Wei Qing’s building come into view, Wei Qiwan breaks the silence.
“Did anything… when you were watching, I thought I saw…” The steering wheel makes a worrying creaking sound. Wei Qiwan’s knuckles are white. “Did anything like that… to you…? Anyone…?”
Wei Qing doesn’t answer. Wei Qiwan stops the car, in the middle of fucking traffic. The pair of them are really–
The steering wheel is making more painful sounds. The poor commuters held hostage are honking.
Wei Qing-
This forty-eight hours is too fucking much. He just can’t. Not now.
Yue Fei, that misunderstanding, how he must have been feeling, for years and years– Wei Qiwan, his belated fucking concern. The yes and no of the question he just asked, like he has the right– The anger, and the softness that comes as soon as Wei Qing clenches his fists and looks down to see the clothes on his body, the clothes that Wei Qiwan had prepared for him without saying anything about it.
Running away doesn’t help. His ears hurt, his veins feel like there are ants crawling through them, like he’s injected something fucking stupid again. Running away doesn’t- He shouldn’t have left Yue Fei. Maybe he shouldn’t leave Wei Qiwan either.
He closes his eyes against the anger of traffic and the palms of the brave uncle slapping the glass.
“If someone did… what the fuck would you do about it?”
No one’s hurt him yet. And yet. Yang Wushe, before, when his body hit that car and he went wherever unclaimed corpses go, did Wei Qiwan eventually get the report? Was there enough of him left to see the bruises and tears and to tell what was due to the fall and what came before? Does it still count, if you were willing at the start? Either way, was this caring too recently harvested to apply to his state in the would-be future?
The slamming fist on the window gets louder. In response, Wei Qiwan inhales sharply and creates his own parking spot on the sidewalk. Must want the passerby to shut up, must still not be willing to drive him to the door and watch him go. He turns towards him, all panic and nowhere to put it, like a pacing tiger in a small enclosure.
“I’d kill them.”
Wei Qing laughs, ugly and tired and disbelieving.
“Sure you would.”
“A’Qing! I- tell me who, I’ll prove it.”
It must be the emotional exhaustion.
Wei Qing knows he’s dumb, but he wants to believe Wei Qiwan’s words. Wants a brother that would become violent for him, would fight for him, would break the law for him, even if that’s not okay. Even if that’s never who Wei Qiwan has been. But he has a limit on emotionally excoriating conversations in any given period, and Yue Fei’s ahead of Wei Qiwan in the queue.
So Wei Qing squeezes his brother’s crackling hand and sighs, honest:
“Sorry. I’m just… I know I’m being a dick. I’m just tired. We can talk later, yeah?”
Wei Qiwan can’t really stop him. Can’t ask for more. Doesn’t deserve to be comforted on his own timetable.
Wei Qing walks away with determination. He doesn’t look back, so he misses President Wei, whose violence he doesn’t believe in, punching harshly into the front console of his car. Misses the way the plastic pops and tempered glass cracks as Wei Qiwan drives off, pieces of the ruined navigation system embedded in his knuckles.
Like the unquestionable tickets he no doubt got during this little jaunt, Wei Qiwan doesn’t care about the damage to the car at all.
—
Yue Fei forgot how time slides together when you’re still and emptying yourself. It’s been a long way since he treated himself this way, since this was the sort of soothing he needed. Still, it makes the entire world freeze, only the sky at his back and his creeping shadow proving that the world is still turning.
His room is right off the foyer. His door is open. He’s as ready as he can be, for Wei Qing or his brother or the security guards or the police to kick him out. He’s afraid to read into the text that he’d gotten. Afraid to hope, so the emptiness is better. After his chores, after breakfast was sent and everything was tidied up, so that Wei Qing would not be inconvenienced overmuch when he rejected him, he’d gotten a lifeline that he was afraid to grasp, or to let go of.
[Wait for me to talk.]
But that was hours ago.
Until eventually, there’s the sound of the elevator motor, humming almost imperceptibly. The loudness of the well-oiled doors sliding open. Wei Qing’s breath.
Yue Fei pushes his thumb against his carotid until awareness of his body returns.
Wei Qing calls out, softly, like he’s afraid that no one’s home.
Yue Fei’s response is too ingrained; he stands and walks forward even though he’s afraid to discover that Wei Qing’s real fear is the opposite. He turns and frowns, doesn’t see him?
And then the frozen stillness of their home fills back up with life, when he feels Wei Qing’s breath on his neck and his warmth at his back and hears him sobbing in the space between his shoulder blades, up against his spine like he wants to burrow into him.
Yue Fei’s heartbeat speeds up. He allows himself to be cry-shoved-hugged until he’s pressed into the wall. Wei Qing’s hands, clawing at his chest and stomach, are trembling. Many things are uncertain, but Yue Fei can’t help himself from lifting his own hands to warm them. It’s instinct. Ingrained.
Wei Qing interlocks their fingers. Bites against his shoulder blade, voice muffled.
“You idiot. You- do you really think that was your fault?”
The bite moves to the other side and becomes more aggressive.
“You! You- excuse me leaving people to be assaulted and shooting up and fucking strangers who could have been fucking trafficked for all I know, because I was so young. Young a year ago! But you’re responsible at fourteen? Yue Fei, do you think we’re a different fucking species?”
It’s harder to bite along the spinal column, but Wei Qing still tries.
“This fucking double-standard, where’s your conscience?!”
Wei Qing vents his dissatisfaction in a hundred rambling, rhetorical questions that can’t be answered easily with Yue Fei’s face shoved against the wall. But through the ebbs in the anger and the general trend of ‘who the fuck do you think you are to judge yourself but forgive me’ Yue Fei’s eyes heat up. He even tries, gently, to turn to face Wei Qing and return his grapple-hug, but Wei Qing won’t let him.
“Don’t. Not yet. I’m afraid I’ll hit you if I see your face. Or get distracted biting you bloody.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Me too. I’m sorry that happened to you.”
“I’m the one who-”
“Wanting to finish that sentence is why you’re not allowed to turn around.”
Their shadows have moved again before Wei Qing finally pulls him into his room and pushes him onto his bed. He strips himself and tugs off Yue Fei’s shirt before wrapping around him like a koala, complaining that his brother is a savage who lets people sleep on terrible couches in their uncomfortable clothes and that Yue Fei should properly compensate him for sending him to such an unsatisfactory place. For not explaining clearly, for not realizing his own worth, for making Wei Qing panic and question his own taste after all the progress they’d made towards bettering it.
Yue Fei, who has not slept at all, quietly activates the voice command that lowers Wei Qing’s shades and adjusts Wei Qing into a more lumbarically-sound position before returning the hug and slipping into a sleep that cannot possibly match the dreamlike nature of what he’s just experienced. His worst shame, his most disgusting self, the stain that will never wash off, the life that he can never return–
Wei Qing knew.
And Wei Qing still came back.
Author’s Corner:
I have feelings about Yue Fei, sitting in the dark, alone.
Meanwhile, despite my love, Wei Qiwan is firmly in the territory of reap-what-you-sow.
Thank you so much for the chapter~
I am kind of happy that I didn’t have the time to read the previous one until now, otherwise, I probably would’ve died from being anxious. My poor little babies T-T
It’s sad that it happened this way, but I’m glad Yue Fei let the cat out of the bag and that he and Wei Qing can finally heal together.
Also, poor car, it didn’t deserve Wei Qiwans anger 😂
I like Wei Qiwan in that place. Still angry with him humph.
Yue Fri just disconnecting about life, half dreaming the worse sitting on his bed waiting to be push out made me wanna cry. So happy with Wei Qing calling him out about his double standard ahah
Thank you for the chapter 🍡
Yue Fei’s isses where ha can be kind and understanding towards othes mistakes but oh so hard on his own is sadly an issue a lot of us have, in many different versions and scales. If we could take a step back and be told it’s someone elses life, we would probably be so much kinder to the person going through it than we are now.
So, 5 points to therapists worldwide 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Mine often tells me I need to be kinder to the little me in my soul.
Oh! So true – But hard to forgive oneself, right?
Even when there is nothing to forgive tbh. So much internalised blame not based in reality and way to unrealistic expectations of oneself in all the could/shoul/would haves.
🙌
Thanks for the chapter 🥲
There are worse things than for Wei Qiwan to have to start practicing his brocon skills again – they are useful in any relationship, really. And I suspect he’s got one doozy of a relationship coming at him (watch out Qiqi 😂). Meanwhile, Wei Qing should be understanding now that he and Yue Fei aren’t as different as he thought.
Loved this chapter! Thank you 😍
Ahhh Yu Fei, this big dummy..
😭😭😭
😭😭😭
Grateful they talked 🥹 Glad that Wei Qing has learned the whole truth