Content Warning: Non-graphic descriptions of past sexual abuse, dubious consent, and suicide.
Well, at least Long Shouning had a sense of proportion.
Her well-trained team’s interview takes place in a clean and expensive hotel room, rather than some small black cell. It probably helps the chubby young woman on the screen relax. Wei Qiwan thinks his operatives should take note. They don’t torture people either, but their simple regional hotels certainly don’t engender as much trust as these five-star accommodations.
The man sitting across from the woman has a deep voice and an unfathomable accent. He’s half therapist, half wetworks technician, and it works for him. The woman looks eager to help and afraid to hinder. A good mix when discussing things that aren’t meant to be mentioned.
‘This is an interview with Mrs. Li Fen, formerly of the Xiao family, who was born into the Pearl of the World community in 1991. Mrs. Li remained in the Pearl of the World until her future husband was encouraged to leave– at that point, Mrs. Li eloped with the seventeen-year-old Li Yangfen and left for married life in a nearby town. Despite attempts to remain in contact with their parents, the community excluded the couple after this, labeling them as subversive. All contact was lost when the community moved locations twelve years ago.’
‘Mrs. Li, is that accurate?’
Mrs. Li clutches her purse but nods her head. Her overall look is that of someone on a long-overdue trip to the dentist, ready to be asked about their lapsed flossing habits and to admit their wrongs to their hygienist.
‘Yes. It is.’
‘And how old were you at the time you and Mr. Li left?’
‘Nineteen.’
‘And before you left, you were familiar with a teen named Yue Fei?’
‘Yes, although at that time he was called Zhen Zhu.’
‘Why was he called that?’
‘He was being considered as an inheritor of the heavenly dogma, the um… Pearl of the World, as the Guru called it. Everyone knew he was the Guru’s son, even if officially we didn’t keep track of such things. ‘Everyone is everyone’s child’, and all that.’
‘Did you get the sense that he believed in this inheritance?’
‘Not particularly. We didn’t interact much privately, not about stuff like that.’
‘How would you describe your relationship?’
‘…’
‘Mrs. Li, this interview will only ever be seen by our employer. Would it help to read the NDA again?’ The man’s voice isn’t unkind or pampering. Just stating facts. It seems to calm the woman down.
‘No, it’s very generous. I just- can’t my husband and I be interviewed together?’
The man offers Mrs. Li another scone, shaking his head. She sighs and tucks in before beginning again.
‘Our relationship involved his promotion in the community- um. Sex. We all reached ‘maturity’ by their standards, at the same time, so we were encouraged to, you know. My husband was also part of it. It’s part of why-’ Her voice trails off.
‘Why you eventually left?’
‘Mmm. See, the Guru was like that. Ignoring everything else, he really could see you, your flaws and your wants. Really made you feel known, while keeping you in a community where your only individuality came from him. He saw that Zhen Zhu wasn’t interested in women, he saw that A’Fen and I were mostly just interested in one another, so he threw us all in to test our bottom line and see if we could conform.’
‘Did you?’
‘At the time, yes.’
‘Did Zhen Zhu?’
‘Yes.’
‘After the initiation, did your relationship end?’
Mrs. Li coughs and takes a long swig from her teacup.
‘No. We were placed in a shell– that’s what the Guru called it– basically a home within the inner community, where we were encouraged to interact until we truly embraced the lessons of the Guru. The truth of cosmic belonging.’
‘What did that look like?’
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
‘Sharing a bed, being encouraged to demonstrate our trust in the community and our free affection for one another. Like- once, Zhen Zhu was reading one of those boring books of his, and he kept going even after some of the others started expressing their love. Um…you know. The guru was concerned about this, so A’Fen was sent over to engage him.’
‘Lbk rb?’
‘Ygji rfz.’
‘Ccv sbe?’
‘P kjr fcmbegjufv ab tfiq, bcmf C’Mfc uba tlr jaafcalbc.’
‘Glv sbe?’
‘Tfr.’
‘Glv Itfc Ite jmmfqa atf mbcajma?’
‘Tfr.’
‘Gb sbe offi atja tlr qgfofgfcmf lr obg remt mbcajma?’
‘Hah! No! Are you kidding? I mean look, at this time, we were all young teens. Young. It’s a miracle that we could finish anything off at all. But he was the first one to run off at a border checkpoint, so I think that says it all.’
‘Lf ifoa yfobgf sbe?’
‘Tfr, rtbeiv yf… jt, atgff sfjgr? Lf aegcfv tlwrfio lcab atf jeatbglalfr jr jc ecgfulrafgfv mtliv. Ktf bcf atlcu kf kfgf ajeuta cfnfg ab vb, jcv tf vlv la, ifjnlcu tlwrfio cb kjs yjmx. Vegf fcbeut, tf kjr rtlqqfv boo yfobgf atf Xege mbeiv yglyf jcsbcf ab ibrf tlr qjqfgkbgx jcv gfaegc tlw.’
‘Do you know why he left?’
‘…Probably.’
‘What do you think caused that?’
Mrs. Li sighs, her voice tinged with nostalgic regret. It takes a very long time for her to answer, and her voice seems older all the sudden.
‘Our shell wasn’t just the three of us. After trying Zhen Zhu out with several of the more experienced women, the Guru gave up. Looking back, I think he liked it. Less competition, you know? After all, Zhen Zhu really looked like him, but with even more beauty, his mom being the Flower of the World, and all. So maybe having a son that can take over but won’t edge in on your harem is a good thing, if you’re being practical.’
The woman on the screen takes out a cigarette and asks permission before lighting up. She waves the smoke away politely.
‘I know it’s bad, for years I’ve been trying to quit. Anyway… I stayed in, because A’Fen and I worked well together, and the only time Zhen Zhu actually managed to… you know… with a woman… anyway. I guess I gave them a little hope that he could be persuaded to continue the dynasty in my belly, if there were enough distractions. But we had a fourth. After all, any less than four, and the Guru claimed the heart was still closed.’ She sighs. ‘He was pretty, and older, the son of someone that had already been exiled out. Yue Cibai. I think he was nineteen at the start? The oldest of us.’
‘The same Yue of Zhen Zhu’s new name?’
‘Should be the same.’
‘And what was Yue Cibai’s role in your shell?’
‘Well, monogamy is forbidden, but there’s still people that only seem to belong to one person, if you pay attention. You know, they’ll kiss and play with everyone like a good believer, but they only ever seem to be in the bed of one person? That’s what Zhen Zhu’s mom was, probably still is, to the Guru. And Yue Cibai… Eh, I think the Guru was thinking that, for Zhen Zhu.’
‘Yue Cibai would belong to him?’
‘Probably? I don’t know. I know he was the only one of us that Zhen Zhu ever slept with of his own initiative.’
‘And what happened?’
‘…He killed himself.’
She ashes her stub and lights a second cigarette, fingers slightly shaking.
‘They didn’t call it that, but there’s really no other explanation for someone who doesn’t know how to swim jumping into a quarry, especially with all their clothes on.’
‘Do you know why he’d do that?’
‘No idea. We weren’t allowed to speak about it. No one mentioned him again, after it happened. I know Zhen Zhu fought with the Guru for the right to go collect his body. Didn’t win. Left about four months after. Then he was the person we weren’t allowed to speak about, although the Guru never went so far as to formally exile him.’
The interview ends.
—
Wei Qiwan’s receptionist calls in for his lunch order; his order is that she not disturb him again. He really can’t eat. Not when he’s hearing about this kind of fucked up shit, evidently still happening in a country that he’d thought was properly revolutionized. Still– he needs to know all of it. For Wei Qing’s sake he needs to make sure genetics are all Yue Fei shares with that father of his.
Wei Qing absolutely isn’t allowed to die or get left in a shell or drink any of that Kool-Aid from the earlier generation.
—
The interview is repeated, later in the day, but with the same interviewer and in the same room. It’s still charming, though the decor is ruined by Wei Qiwan’s knowledge of just what kind of lurid things they’ll be talking about.
He’d really prefer it if the ‘Guru’ was just a scam artist instead of a megalomaniacal sex pest.
This time, a pockmarked but friendly-looking willow of a man is sitting where the charmingly fluffy woman was earlier. They’re a cutely mismatched set, the kind of couple that Wei Qiwan imagines as sweet neighbors who own a corner store in some sitcom. Sure enough, he’s introduced as Mr. Li Yangfen, the husband and other surviving member of Yue Fei’s ‘shell.’
Wei Qiwan only half-listens to the first questions, it’s the same ground retread. Finally, the interview diverts a bit and he seriously pays attention once more.
‘Mr. Li, you were Zhen Zhu’s primary sexual partner?’
‘Ah, secondary, I’d say.’
‘Second to Yue Cibai.’
Mr. Li’s eyes widen, but he nods. Evidently, he and his wife hadn’t pre-planned their responses. A good sign, for the validity of these interviews.
‘Exactly.’
‘And your wife?’
‘The person that Zhen Zhu interacted with the least, although they had an alright relationship when the Guru wasn’t trying to convince Zhen Zhu to put an heir in her belly.’
‘Did they have any children together?’
‘No, my wife and I are childless.’
‘You’re sure?’
‘Yes, I really would have noticed. We’ve never been separated long enough for such a thing to happen without me seeing it.’ He’s a bit offended, who wouldn’t be with such an uncomfortable set of questions? Luckily, growing up in a sex cult helps one develop a thick skin. A scone and he’s settled back in.
‘Okay. And can you speak more to the relationship between the three of you and Zhen Zhu?’
‘Well, my wife already filled you in. Scary, how that all ended. Yue Cibai always had a sad energy, but we all did then. After all, even if you’re raised in such a place, things feel right and wrong no matter what your elders say…”
He coughs, and like his wife, lights a cigarette.
“Sorry, everyone says I ramble once you pry my mouth open. Umm, Zhen Zhu… Zhen Zhu, normally I was the person that was sent to help him initiate. Ha, I spent a lot of my youth on my knees in front of that man. Anytime those guys at the docks bitch about going down on their ladies, I can’t help but roll my eyes at them.’
‘Are you angry about that?’
Li Yangfen coughs and waves away the cloud of smoke that bursts out from it.
‘Not at him. It was reciprocated, you know? Just not as often. Ah, maybe I was dissatisfied at first, but once our shell broke apart and we were sent to another group, I realized how nice it was, to have someone that never wanted to bond, outside of when it was required. Living together was a comparative vacation.’
‘Was he sexually violent?’
‘Shit, nothing like that. He just wasn’t that interested. At least not in me or FenFen.’
‘He was interested in Yue Cibai.’
Another pause, though not as long as the ones his wife took.
‘Not at first, but eventually- yeah, we’d catch them doing the same dumb shit FenFen and I did. You know, prohibited things like running off into the woods together, or giving private gifts. Things that would be cute anywhere else, but could see you kneeling on raw rice in our circle. Only-’ Mr. Li rubs his neck, like a kid asked to tattle on a friend. The interviewer quickly picks up on it.
‘Again, honesty is always rewarded.’
‘This isn’t anything bad about Zhen Zhu, okay? I mean, he was the youngest, Yue Cibai was the oldest. He was basically a kid with a crush, it’s not like he was doing anything aggressive or anything. You really can’t blame him.’
‘But?’
‘But, I don’t think he realized that Yue Cibai wasn’t all that into him.’ Li Yangfen deflates.
‘Do you think Zhen Zhu was the cause of Yue Cibai’s death?’
‘Is he ever going to see this?’
‘No, it’s for someone connected to him, but not him.’
‘Great. If he ever does see this, you should definitely cut that question from the interview, okay? Because if he’s like he was before, you’ll… It’ll be bad.’
The man scratches his scarred cheek and looks up to the heavens.
‘Honestly, it wasn’t his fault. It was the Guru’s. And Yue Cibai really did like him, just– more like an elder brother, which is why it was such a problem that the Guru had basically stuck them together. He used to babysit him, for fuck’s sake. Anyway… Yue Cibai was always gloomy. Fucking someone that much younger than him– at nineteen, five years is just too much, Zhen Zhu was a child to him. A child that he was regularly sleeping with. Anyway, that was already bad, I think, looking back. But-’
He chides, warns, lights his third cigarette.
‘And again, you really should cut this part out, unless you have no morals at all.’
‘We’re very moral people, as is our client.’
Li Yangfen looks like he’s taking the measure of the interviewer, compensation be damned, before answering.
‘I don’t know who else knows, but before Yue Cibai took that dive… a few nights earlier, I heard… Heard Zhen Zhu confessing to him. You know. Talking about love. I think that was probably the tipping point. Not that he could know. But it’s one thing to be forced to sleep with someone, and another to realize that they are on such a different page over it.’
He tuts and shakes his head, like an elder discussing a child that went off to war only to never come back. The interviewer summarizes:
‘So it was Zhen Zhu’s declaration of love that led to the suicide? Yes, yes, we’ll cut it out, just for my own edification. I’m a very thorough researcher.’
‘Again, the Guru is what caused this. But… I think Yue Cibai chose to die rather than further mislead that child into thinking they had a future together, or that what they were sharing was love and not a physical convenience. I think he saw a future as the next Flower of the World, and couldn’t bear it. Didn’t want to grow to hate him, the way he would, if things continued like they did.’
‘Thank you. Anything else?’
‘No. That’s about all that happened. We were pushed together, we did as we were told, Yue Cibai died, Zhen Zhu left, and eventually, my wife and I followed his example, for fear that if we didn’t we’d follow Yue Cibai’s instead.’
‘Thank you for your candor. Our appreciation has already been wired to your household account.’
‘Thanks, thanks. And for what it’s worth, I hope- hope he’s okay. Not everyone would have walked away like that.’
—
Sometimes, Wei Qiwan questions his fitness as head of a security company. Also as a brother. After all, learning secrets like this, even when he’s sought them out, even when they are important to his loved ones’ future happiness, makes Wei Qiwan feel unpleasant. Like he’s opened a door he shouldn’t, seen things that aren’t for him, and now has to sit with it forever.
Being a big brother was really unbearable. Not to mention, it sounds like he owes Long Shouning a sum of money beyond the pittance that she’d finally accepted after he insisted that even for a favor, he should pay her team’s expenses.
What a mess.
It makes Yue Fei’s clean living make sense; if Wei Qiwan had such a psychedelic introduction to interpersonal relationships, he’s not sure he’d want to date around either. Especially– the interviews made it sound like a great secret, but as the person involved, Yue Fei–
Did he really not know that Yue Cibai died to escape the weight of his affections?
Based on what he knows of the man, Wei Qiwan doubts it. Yue Fei has never struck him as dumb, or as someone with a low Emotional Quotient, other than being annoyingly snippy lately. Leaving the community that he was set to inherit, changing his name, and spending all his time looking after someone younger and more vulnerable–
That is penance, not the random actions of someone just idling around from place to place after disenchantment. Wei Qiwan spins in his chair, re-reads the dossier, locks the USB in the safe behind his framed Monet sketch, and thinks. He feels a headache coming on, pops some meds, and thinks again.
Thinks that for all this ugliness, maybe Yue Fei is an alright option.
After all, with a history like his, he’d be easy to disappear if needed. More importantly, after all this, Wei Qiwan is almost certain that the man’s feelings are genuine. To have been so hurt by love in the past, yet still risk upending his whole life to date someone with a record as spotty as his little brother’s–
If that’s not love, it’s illness.
And Wei Qiwan doesn’t think the man looks sick. If anything, Yue Fei has proven to be unpleasantly clear-sighted, especially since Wei Qing returned to work and they started interacting again. His blessing might come with some stipulations, but at least for now, Yue Fei has it. Doesn’t mean he won’t give the other man shit. After all, if he wants to seriously date his brother, he should be willing to run a gauntlet. Otherwise, what is his love worth, in the end?
Even if this investigation has mostly won him over, he still expects to be impressed.
…Assuming his little brother ever even talks to him again, that is.
Wei Qiwan’s grand ambitions deflate a little at the reality of the situation.
Author’s Corner:
Yue Fei’s obsession with letting Wei Qing always take the lead should… make a little more sense now…
I’m not crying you’re crying. Damn I knew Yue Fei would have a shitty life but at that point…
Damn T_T
Thank you for the chapter I appreciate Wei Qiwan take on the situation
QAQ
I remember reading of a cult like that.. the kid didn’t end well in the end.
poor Yue Fei, having all the past he moved away from out there in the open..
thanks for the chapter <3
I want to cry 😭😭😭 poor Yue Fei, Yue Cibai, all the kids stuck in that cult. This definitely adds a new dimension to Yue Fei’s hesitance, and his uncertainty that Wei Qing would want him beyond a physical level. I will now continue to be inconsolable until the next update.
They deserves to be sentenced to death–
I love this one very much.. Thanks for picking this up..
Thank you for the update ❤️💯
I think Wei Qiwan saw a glimpse of what kind of heavy secrets he has to bear when he takes up his post in the afterlife. And with what Yue Fei experienced in that warped up childhood of his because of undeserving people, I hope he will be healed completely with Wei Qing’s love. Goo d thing they’re both taking one little step at a time in their relationship and enjoying the heck of it.
Thanks for the update~ 💕
( ･ั﹏･ั) I knew there was a deep history there but i never expected this one ಥ_ಥ. Giving hugs ༼ つ ◕‿◕ ༽つ.
I think that raspy old man that Yue Fei calls with such intimate questions must have earned his own special place when he reaches the afterlife. There’s not much chance Yue Fei would ever discuss anything personal then or now unless the person had done a LOT of healing work with him.
If you’re thinking about Liu Laoshi then I agree with you, I think Liu Laoshi also helped Yue Fei to keep his sanity and to live a normal life being a friend.
Yes, exactly!
That Guru and his believers are so disgusting ruining a child like that.
“Did he really not know thatYue Cibai died to escape the weight of his affection?”
Flashback to all the times Yue Fei made sure Wei Qing knew he can back out, that he can make his love not be a burden to him,,,, coolcoolcoolcool
I think I don’t cry now only because I cried for like 20 chapters straight from the start, with small breaks for lying with cucumber slices over my puffy eyes. And my eyes are still sore.
I think I’m more horrified than sad with what happened here, that’s why I’m not crying now either. But I strongly believe that if I actually saw such an interview irl I’d be so angry that I’ll cough up blood
Ok. I knew Yue Fei’s past would not be nice. But this is….geez, he was born straight into trauma! I think I am more angry and disgusted with the human kind than sad. And all respect to Yue Fei for putting the pieces of himself together to be able to carry on with his life and function properly.