Tian Zhu had a dream.
It was a normal one, the type he rarely remembered, and he got it in the early waking hours right after the game had passed.
In his dream, he was inside a bubble.
It was shimmering like glass but soft like cotton, hovering somewhere in a big space filled with other bubbles. He could reach his hand out, through the walls of his own, and pop them. They all burst into flakes of colors and sound.
At some point, Aspen crawled into his bubble out of nowhere. He crawled in like someone forcing his way through a narrow hole, falling on top of River and curling up there to work with the tight, circular space.
“You have no chair”, Tian Zhu complained nonsensically.
“You’re bad”, Aspen complained back. He sounded childish, but when he lifted his head, his face was a fierce mixture between man and beast, somehow both and neither at the same time. “Why did you go?”
Tian Zhu followed the conversation as one does inside a dream. It had its own logic, somewhere, although his waking self failed to see where it was in hindsight.
“I’m not going.” Tian Zhu stared at his own reflection in the bubble-glass. There was himself, black and white, with eyes too large and staring back. He talked more to his mirror image than Aspen. “I’m not going.”
He wrapped his arms around Aspen and pulled him tight. The smaller guy’s body gave in, lithe and flexible, accommodating the strong pull that was neither gentle nor careful.
Then Aspen twisted – grew, or maybe Tian Zhu shrunk, it was really hard to tell. Either way, Tian Zhu found himself safely surrounded and sheltered warmly all of a sudden. Aspen hummed a nursery song, simple and peaceful. Tian Zhu wasn’t even sure Aspen knew any kid’s melodies.
But for this dream he sank into the comfort of it, dozing away to the feeling of his cotton bubble and the warmth of another human.
When he woke up, the world was quiet.
Usually, Tian Zhu enjoyed the quiet, not unlike Aspen. Today it was grating, painful. He hadn’t known he had fallen asleep holding ShuShu’s phone, but apparently he had, for it was placed inside his cramping hand.
He tried to lift his arm. It was trembling badly, but not with withdrawal, and he knew from the tightness in his throat that this trembling would not go away anytime soon.
Tian Zhu just breathed. In and out. He had the games to play, to escape his own thoughts. It wasn’t long that they had last seen each other but he was painfully missing Aspen, wanting nothing more than those sturdy slender shoulders to lean on for a moment.
It would pass.
The wound from losing ShuShu would scab over as any wound does at some point, but it was going to fester and drag the process out. His best bet was to not scratch at it – he turned his thoughts away from the silence and the lack of squeaky, friendly voice.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Ktf biv qtbcf njclrtfv lcrlvf tlr vgjkfg, qijmfv ufcais lcrlvf klat agfwyilcu tjcvr.
Thankfully it was only his hands that were trembling. His feet carried him as safely as any other day of withdrawal – which was to say, not that much – so that he could make his way to the bathroom.
Pa kjr j cfk kffx, jujlc.
Qtfgf jii bo tlr ilof tjv yifcvfv lcab bcf ylu ubbq bo vjsr yfobgf, cbk tlr kbgiv kjr j qjlcoei agfx bo ybglcu rajlgr pera ab gfjmt atbrf yfjealoei wbwfcar ktfgf tf mbeiv gfra.
He didn’t remember going down for breakfast, but then again he had an incredibly hard time staying conscious. It wasn’t an issue of staying awake, it was more a problem of staying aware, for the bland peace of letting his thoughts drift away was quite tempting.
“…-next week.”
Tian Zhu blinked, calling himself to attention. His father was talking.
Lawrence’s brows creased when he noticed his younger son hadn’t been listening at all. Yang Mi gave him a pat on the hand, smiling coaxingly and turning to Tian Zhu. “Your father said that we have decided to let you recuperate in one of our vacation homes for a while. If you like it, you can stay there permanently. It will be your gift.”
Oh, the prison was chosen.
“Thank you”, Tian Zhu replied blandly, giving no reaction.
A large screen. He should ask the Gamblers for a large screen or something sometime, one he could connect to the phone. That way he could have a video call with Aspen and just leave it on while he did other things.
“We will send you there next week. You don’t have to worry, you will have attendants taking care of everything.”
“Yes.”
A couple of weeks… After that, he could probably try asking them if they could revive ShuShu. If they could, he’d ask them to put her on the Gambler’s phone – it was invisible to others. He wouldn’t have to worry then.
“As for school, you don’t have to worry. You don’t have to take any more classes, you will get your graduation certificate earlier.”
“I will do as you say.”
And the withdrawal… Honestly, it wasn’t even that bad if he got the drug often enough. He could also consider asking the Gamblers if they could fake him being sick while he was actually healthy?
Ah. He would have to talk to Aspen, it wasn’t fair if it was only him getting presents. Until they had enough that both of them could be free, they should share.
Attention.
Tian Zhu tore himself away from his daydream. He pinched his thigh under the table, making sure to look into his mother’s eyes for a moment.
If this was a game…
If he had to consider the effect of his actions to get to his goal…
The words slipped out without thinking. His eyebrows tugged into a frown for hardly a second, as if he was trying to hide it. “…How long am I expected to recuperate?”
Yang Mi’s smile became a bit more truthful.
My goal.
“We will see. Why don’t you move first and then we can observe your health. The fresh air over there will do you good.”
Tian Zhu opened his mouth. Closed it. “…Yes.”
Next to him, his brother smirked.
Escaping.
They wouldn’t know, of course.
If he was locked up in that other house, he’d be more at ease than at home. He could talk to Aspen all day – two people who had nothing to do anyway – and play the games when the time came. He didn’t need to join some stupid meal and play dumb.
Send me away.
They just weren’t allowed to notice.
He didn’t remember getting back upstairs either, or the following hours.
He was starting to zone out. More than that; he was drifting away so far that sometimes, returning back to reality was a chore.
But the cotton cloud deep inside his thoughts was so beautiful.
Soft and accommodating. Quiet, alone, peaceful.
Did he get the drug again? Was he still in withdrawal?
It was so hard to tell.
Was he eating?
Yes, well, sometimes. Hunger had vanished, as had nausea and most things, to tell the truth, but Tian Zhu walked through his days like he had done before.
Show off the weakness of his body.
Show off his limitless obedience.
Show off that he was nervous about his relocation, a bit insecure, but that he wasn’t going to fight it out of fear of his family.
Yes.
Don’t be happy.
He did talk to Aspen daily, but mostly when the other contacted him first. The hours that had once been filled with movies and books enjoyed together with a little mouse were now quiet, blank stares out of a window into the vast world out there that wasn’t his.
And time ticked by, one hour after the other, and life returned to Tian Zhu’s eyes in tiny, almost unnoticeable flickers.
No one else but himself knew how long he watched the clocks inside his rooms, waiting for the moment where the date changed, counting the hours and minutes and seconds until he’d be called away again.
Something inside his stomach had settled peacefully.
He knew how to keep his family off his back for these last days until they’d relocate him to the vacation house. They were more tolerant, now that the days were numbered.
Author’s Note
I’m writing the last arc. I wonder if the ending will be satisfying? It’s written already. Has been written for a looong, long time, and that oddly fits the story the story. The end was set in stone from the start.
A big part of this story was written while I was dealing with depression (not that I’m not anymore, depression doesn’t just vanish – but I’m much better for sure). I recognize the scenes pretty well, but I wonder if it shows to someone who reads this story from an outside perspective.
Thanks for the chapter ! I’m sad it will end soon, but at the same time it’s good the story follow its own length and don’t try to extend its time. Many story ends up wasted like that, I’m happy this one has its own identity ^^
The last arc might actually end up being quite long, so there’s still a good bit to look forward to!
Amazing ! Thanks for the story, it is one of my favourites in a long time ! ^^
For your question, yes, it shows. Still, I guess this “personal” way of telling the story is very interesting. But if River can get away with it, there’s no reason you can’t ^^. Courage!
Thank you for this chapter~