Trigger warning: Sexual assault
Wei Shi recalled what had happened last night, that chaotic, and messed up night.
After they had broken apart from Lu Feng and Yi Da Zhuang after dinner, he hoisted the drunk Shen Xiao Shi back to his rented flat. He had consumed roughly the same amount, if not more alcohol than Shen Xiao Shi, and therefore staggered too as they headed up the stairs. As such, Wei Shi had to dedicate one arm to be wrapped around Shen Xiao Shi’s waist, whilst his other hand gripped the railing. After a great amount of effort, he was finally able to deliver Shen Xiao Shi safely to his bed.
Due to his mother’s lawsuit, Shen Xiao Shi had been in a low mood for quite some time. His house was becoming so disorderly that soon it seemed like he wouldn’t even be able to walk around the place. After Wei Shi placed Shen Xiao Shi down, he suddenly felt thirsty, as he was just about to stand and go to the kitchen for a cup of water when something caught beneath his feet, leading him to trip and fall directly on top of Shen Xiao Shi.
Shen Xiao Shi had already passed out, but started to rouse from the state upon being crushed under Wei Shi’s body weight. His eyes fluttered open in confusion, as dissatisfied murmurs escaped from his mouth.
“It hurts…” He whined, his voice nasal and coming out almost pitiful, as his brows were knitted tight.
Wei Shi was also quite drunk at this stage and thought he had really crushed him. He hurriedly tugged at Shen Xiao Shi’s clothes and muttered, “Where does it hurt? Let me take a look…”
Shen Xiao Shi pulled up his T-shirt, like a kid who presented their injuries to an adult in a bid for pity and affection, as he pressed his palm to his sternum and whispered, “It hurts here.”
Shen Xiao Shi’s skin was porcelain, his bones slender. He was young and his features were even more delicate. He was twenty already, but somehow he exuded an aura of youth, one untainted by the realities of the world, a sense of innocence. Shen Xiao Shi was a stark contrast to Wei Shi’s usual type.
Wei Shi has always liked men who were formidable, sexy, and similar to him. They wouldn’t act coquettishly, they wouldn’t be clingy, and they most definitely wouldn’t be like Shen Xiao Shi right now, staring at him with bright, wet eyes and whispering to him in a small voice that he was in pain.
As if he had been possessed, and under the influence of alcohol, Wei Shi’s mind was a mess as instinct took over. The breaths he exhaled was scorching hot, his body feverish, and his large palms scorching to the touch.
His palm closed around the back of Shen Xiao Shi’s hand, as he inched forward. Their breaths mingled together as there was now an almost imperceptible gap between the two.
“Sorry…” Wei Shi said, as he rubbed Shen Xiao Shi’s chest for him and asked, “Does it still hurt?”
Neither of them realised how suggestive their posture and words were at the moment.
“En, it’s alright now…” Shen Xiao Shi’s gaze was hazy, and he appeared completely defenceless, as he suddenly burped at Wei Shi and giggled. The dimples on his cheeks deepend at times and disappeared at others, “It doesn’t hurt anymore. ”
Wei Shi’s breath seemed to have stilled, and his palms became even hotter, as if they could light up in flames at any moment. The fire ran along the path where their bodies came in contact with each other, then to his chest, and then to an even more fatal place, causing Wei Shi to go into a trance.
He hadn’t been with anyone for several years, and his ex had hurt him so badly that he became tired at the prospect of love. He didn’t know whether it was because he had been abstinent for too long, so that he couldn’t resist temptation, even when it came in the form of such a slight flame. One thing led to another, and without thinking, he lowered his head and kissed Shen Xiao Shi’s smiling, rosy lips.
There was a trace of fragrant alcohol in the softness of his lips, and it was unlike any other pair of lips he had kissed before. Wei Shi fell into a deeper addiction, and his mind became more and more unclear.
He recalled that he kissed Shen Xiao Shi, and Shen Xiao Shi might have been a little stunned, as one of his hands was on Wei Shi’s shoulder, grabbing the fabric of his clothes there, as he whimpered, his throaty noises like those of a small animal, pitiful and adorable at the same time. This led Wei Shi further down the slippery slope, as once again, he lost control of his thoughts and actions as he guided Shen Xiao Shi’s hand downwards… and took further advantage of him.
Wei Shi finished recalling the events of that night and found that he really couldn’t face Shen Xiao Shi anymore. He wondered if he really was possessed by some dirty thing last night, otherwise how could he have done such a bastardly thing?
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Because of his appearance, Shen Xiao Shi was regularly harassed when he had worked at the bar. Later on, he had almost been raped by the other inmates in prison. Therefore, it would be an apt description to say that he detested gay people.
They were all perverted.
These people had not given him any good memories, so he felt no fault for generalising the entire group.
Ever since he had known Wei Shi, Wei Shi had never betrayed any inclination of liking men. Even if Shen Xiao Shi was only wearing briefs in the summer and eating watermelon right in front of him, Wei Shi’s expression never changed. However, now that he gave it some more thought, Wei Shi didn’t seem to have any girlfriends either. How could it be normal for a man like him to not have any women hanging by his side?
Besides, a straight man, no matter how drunk he was, wouldn’t mess up the difference between a man and a woman, right?
Shen Xiao Shi scrutinised Wei Shi closely, not missing any change of expression displayed on his face. His gaze was sharp, as if it could cut, and for a second even Wei Shi, a veteran, found it hard to maintain his composure under it.
Truthfully, he had been met with plenty of gazes like this. From his parents, from his brothers and sisters, from people he knew and people he didn’t. Their gazes were filled with disgust, antipathy and a sense of vigilance.
What was coming would always come for him. Wei Shi never considered being closeted for the rest of his life, however he also never imagined that Shen Xiao Shi would find out under these circumstances. It was the worst case scenario.
The two stared at each other for a long time, Wei Shi’s eyes were dry as he blinked, and only then did he reply with one word under Shen Xiao Shi’s pressing gaze.
“Yes.”
Shen Xiao Shi appeared to be stunned in response to Wei Shi’s confession, like a TV with poor connection that couldn’t process and respond accordingly to the information that was being transmitted.
Though deep down he had already been 90% sure this was the case, he still wanted Wei Shi to confirm that miraculous 10% chance he was holding out for. It was to the point that if Wei Shi, even now, chose to deceive him with a clumsy lie, he would still run along with it and pretend he was none the wiser.
“I was born liking men.” Wei Shi continued, taking advantage of Shen Xiao Shi’s stunned silence. “Because of this, I’m no longer in contact with my family anymore. I didn’t want to hide it from you, but people like me are used to hiding our true selves, and I never found a good opportunity to talk about it. I’m sorry for last night, that was my fault.”
Shen Xiao Shi said nothing, as he looked away, got out of bed, put on his shoes, and smoothed out the creases in his clothes.
His brows were furrowed, as he looked to be deeply preoccupied in his thoughts.
Seeing him like this, Wei Shi stopped talking, as he lowered his head and did up his buttons silently.
“I treated you like a brother, but you wanted to sleep with me this whole time?”
Wei Shi looked up and saw Shen Xiao Shi standing beside the bed, looking at him with a calm gaze, though his eyes were burning with a dim fire.
He was like a flammable carton of gunpowder, where even the slightest trigger or confrontation would lead to an explosion where even the last of Wei Shi’s bones would disintegrate into nothing.
Wei Shi took two steps towards him, in an effort to explain the situation, “Xiao Shi, I really didn’t think that way…”
As if he was hiding from a potential source of infection, Shen Xiao Shi took two steps back, as he suddenly called out, “Don’t get any closer!”
Wei Shi stopped immediately as he raised both his hands up and stopped in his approach.
“I need some time to calm down, I don’t want to see you right now.” Shen Xiao Shi’s feelings were currently a mess, as he turned around and rushed out the door, and then disappeared down the stairs at breakneck speed.
It was only when Shen Xiao Shi inhaled the crisp, fresh air outside and was dazzled by the sunlight that he felt a sense of reality returning to him.
Turns out, it was not a dream.
Fuck, why did he have to run away, when he was the one who lived there?
Shen Xiao Shi took a deep breath as he sat down on the steps in front of the building. He had been under a lot of pressure recently, but now he also has to deal with the fact that Wei Shi belonged to the group of people he disliked the most, and he felt crushed by that fact.
How could it be that everything unfortunate was happening to him…
He sat on the steps for a while, and Wei Shi called him several times in between, as well as sending him a text message. He hung up on all of the calls, before he saw one coming from Lu Feng.
This time, he didn’t hang up and picked it up instead. Lu Feng was calling to ask him where he was, and he answered honestly. Lu Feng then followed up by asking if anything had happened. Shen Xiao Shi wasn’t brazen enough to recount what had happened the night prior, so he instead asked Lu Feng if he remembered what he said that day when he saved Shen Xiao Shi at the bathhouse.
“What?” Lu Feng replied, sounding slightly lost.
“Inside the cells, it’s common to see things happening between one man and another. Some of them were willing, others were forced to do things against their will. When you rescued me, I actually said these words to you verbatim, ‘Thanks for stepping in, but if you saved me because you wanted to sleep with me, then I’ll beat you up like I did with the rest of them.’”
This was the first thing he said to Lu Feng after they left solitary confinement. Lu Feng’s expression was flat for a second before he finally responded by saying, “For someone your age, you sure do have a lot of thoughts.” Given back then Shen Xiao Shi was still quite young, Lu Feng didn’t take what he said personally.
After Shen Xiao Shi mentioned this incident again though, Lu Feng recalled the whole conversation and asked why he was suddenly bringing this up again.
Shen Xiao Shi gripped his phone tightly, as he heard hurried footsteps descending from the staircases from behind him.
“I just wanted to reiterate to you my stance towards people who are gay. It’s fine for them to go for other people, but if they want to screw me, then I guarantee, I’d beat that bastard up. If something really does end up happening, I hope you don’t blame me.”
Lu Feng heard this and at once became anxious as he asked, “Xiao Shi, what’s the matter?”
Shen Xiao Shi pursed his lips a few times, but ended up saying nothing in response. At the same time, the iron door behind him was pushed open, and Wei Shi who went looking downstairs had found him.
Shen Xiao Shi stood up from the ground as he turned back to look at Wei Shi.
Wei Shi was a man tall in stature, and had always been a formidable, stalwart and strong presence. He never showed a side of him that looked panicked, as Shen Xiao Shi saw now.
It was as if ever since Wei Shi became “gay”, everything had changed.
He hated the Wei Shi that was like this.
“Xiao Shi, hear me out, I really…”
Wei Shi made a futile attempt to defend himself and Shen Xiao Shi didn’t even bother to listen, as ultimately this carton of gunpowder still exploded. He landed a devastating punch to Wei Shi’s face as his phone flew from his grip as a result of the force, landing in a heap of grass nearby.
Wei Shi staggered a few steps and crashed into the iron gate behind him. His face was tilted to one side as a result of the punch, and his teeth had cut into his lips as blood trickled out.
He wiped the corner of his lips and eyed the bright red specks on the back of his hand, as he faced Shen Xiao Shi, who appeared now like an irreconcilable enemy, as the futility of this situation weighed down on him even further. “Xiao Shi, listen to me, I really…”
Shen Xiao Shi interrupted him again as he stormed over, “Fuck you, I treated you as if you were a brother to me, but what did you see me as?”
If Wei Shi was serious about fighting, then no matter how good Shen Xiao Shi was he would still not be able to defend himself against one of Wei Shi’s punches or kicks. However, Wei Shi knew that he was in the wrong, so he didn’t retaliate, instead he threw up the basic, necessary defensive stances. At the same time, he continued to talk to Shen Xiao Shi, in an effort to placate him, hoping that the two of them would be able to calm down and have a proper conversation instead.
However, Shen Xiao Shi at this point in time clearly had lost all sense of reason. He had been deceived, and was furious at being betrayed by someone he had trusted, as he found himself abandoned by words adequate enough to express his feelings.
“You liar!” After a violent confrotnation, Shen Xiao Shi grabbed Wei Shi’s collar, panting as he cursed, “I trusted you so fucking much, but you treat me like this?” He pushed Wei Shi against the iron gate, but because of the height difference, even if he grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, he still wasn’t able to lift Wei Shi up.
Wei Shi really did not know how to make up for his mistake, so he could only keep apologising.
Shen Xiao Shi appeared to be fatigued to his core, as he dropped his head on his fist, which clutched Wei Shi’s collar, as his body trembled faintly in the silence.
Wei Shi raised his hand, unsure of whether or not he should touch him, “Xiao Shi…”
Wei Shi called his name worriedly, and wanted to ask if he was crying.
Shen Xiao Shi lowered his head, sniffed, and suddenly raised his head to look at Wei Shi, his eyes red rimmed, but absent of tears.
“I hate you.” He said, voice full of venom, as he let go of Wei Shi, “From now on, never appear in front of me again, otherwise, don’t blame me if I treat you poorly. Now get out of my way.”
For a split second, with the beating of his heart came a pain which felt a thousand times worse than the pain from the wound on his face.
In his whole life, he had heard many cruel words directed at him, with a handful of people threatening to kill his whole family. However, none of them had quite hurt as much as this soft “I hate you”.
Poor Wei Shi, this is so unfair.
Thanks for the chapter, now, can I have sugar? Or a tissue?
This is just really painful for both sides… but Wei Shi, seriously, why did you still do him whilst under the influence aiyaaaa…
Poor Wei Shi! So sad! Can’t wait to read the rest of this side story. Thanks for the chapter and for the continued translation. Although the main story is over I would be unreconciled without the rest of the chapters.
Thank you for the translation! The side story is quite painful 🙁 Wanna read the remaining extra chapters and hope for the best.
Why did they stop uploading the remaining chapters are they not going to continue I want to know what happened do u know where I can read the remaining chapters
No, I don’t know. Prob the translator dropped it. We only can wait for the translator to come back or for someone to pick up the translation of remaining chapters I guess.
This is heartbreaking. At least we know they have a happy ending
😟
Sorry if this is rude, is there a pdf version of the translation? I love this novel and would like to read when there’s no internet
binged this novel in 3 days praying for someone to continue the translation of the rest of the chapters TT