You give, you give me empty promises of love
You’re an honest man when you’re drunk
But it’s killin’ me to wonder
How long?
How long?
- How Long By Tove Lo
Nine made his way home, texting Vee as he walked toward his front door. When he entered, he noticed Quin sitting on the couch, drinking a glass of alcohol. He clicked his tongue, pocketing his phone in annoyance.
“Quin, what are you drinking?” Nine asked. He grabbed the drink from Quin, moving it to the farther part of the table. Quin didn’t fight when Nine took his glass from him.
“We need to talk.” Quin started, ignoring Nine’s question.
Nine sat down, “About what? What’s wrong?”
“I know you are cheating.” Quin did not want to hold back. He thought it was best to peel off the bandage quickly.
Nine froze, looking like a deer caught in headlights; he did not know what to say or do. Every word was caught in his throat, making him suffocate. How does he know? Did I fuck up? Wait, I did, so what do I do? What the hell do I say?
After a few minutes passed with no one saying anything, Nine finally grabbed Quin’s hand. “I’m sorry.” He softly apologized, not knowing what he should say.
Quin looked at their hands, and Nine stared at Quin, gnawing at his bottom lip. Nine felt too anxious. Although they hadn’t started yelling yet, he knew things might boil over, and their arguments would have started soon.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Pr atja jii sbe mjc rjs?” Helc defralbcfv, ralii rajglcu ja atflg tjcvr. Lf vlv cba tbiv Rlcf’r tjcv cbg wbnf jkjs ogbw tlr abemt.
“P vbc’a xcbk ktja firf ab rjs, Helc. P xcbk la kjr kgbcu, yea P kjr—jw rb ibcfis. Qtfc kjr atf ijra alwf kf vlv jcsatlcu bg ktfc sbe qjlv jaafcalbc ab wf bg fnfc wjvf ibnf?” Rlcf kjr cba agslcu ab peralos tlr mtfjalcu, yea tf kjcafv ab ifa bea tlr uglfnjcmfr obg Helc lucbglcu tlw.
And Nine was lonely; so lonely. Sleeping with Vee made him feel good and wanted.
“And how does that excuse you to sleep with someone else? You could have come to me if you felt this way instead of jumping into another man’s bed.”
“How!” Nine threw up his hands in frustration. “How can I come to you when all you do is ignore me? When I want to talk, you don’t want to. You run away from every fight, and when I want to do something, you always say you are busy. So stop acting like I haven’t tried. I have been trying from day one. But where is your effort, Quin? Why do I feel like I am the only one in this relationship?’
Nine did not notice the tears flowing down his face as he stated his points. It never hit him how hard he had been trying since they got together. He thought they had a good relationship, and it died down. But, thinking back, it seemed like he was the only one putting in the effort.
Being in love made people blind, and he was utterly blind to Quin.
“Do you love me like I love you?” Nine silently asked, coming down from his frustration, turning bitter instead.
“Are you really saying you love me when you are cheating on me?” Quin evaded the question.
“Quin!” Nine almost snapped. “Answer my question: do you love me like I love you?”
“We’ve been together for seven years; if I didn’t love you, why would I still be here?” Quin answered in a roundabout way.
“But, have you? Have you been here? Have you been here for me because I am there when you need me, but you are not there when I need you?” Nine argued.
“Nine—”
“Don’t tell me I wasted seven years with you!” Nine interrupted, his tears continuing to fall.
Quin was his first in everything, and he knew he was never Quin’s first in some things, but he wanted to be his last. Nine guessed it was wishful thinking that started when he was fifteen.
“You didn’t even let me finish.”
“I already have a feeling what you wanted to say. During high school, people called me a rebound, saying that you are still in love with your ex. I ignored them and didn’t believe them because I believed you loved me and we would be together forever. But maybe they were right; maybe you didn’t truly love me; maybe I was a rebound.”
“That is not true.” Quin tried reasoning. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Please,” Nine begged, “don’t lie to me. Let’s be truthful to each other. Yes, I have been cheating, and I slept with the person more than once. I know I have done wrong, and I know I have fucked up, but don’t make it seem like I am the only bad guy here. So tell me, was I a rebound? Someone to cling to because you couldn’t have your ex?”
Quin stayed silent, staring at the wall instead of answering Nine. After a few minutes passed by, Nine snorted, standing up. “I am staying with Cassy and Lee for a while.”
“Wait,” Quin tried to grab Nine’s hand, but Nine pulled away.
“Don’t touch me!” Nine walked into the bedroom, grabbed a bag, stuffing clothes inside. Once he finished, he also took his schoolbag and left. Quin kept calling him, but Nine ignored him, wiping the tears off his face.
As he left, he called Lee.
“Hello?” Lee answered.
“Can I stay with you and Cassy for a while?” Nine asked.
Hearing Nine’s crying voice, Lee grew concerned and quickly agreed, “Sure, sure.”
“Thank you.”
Nine didn’t know what to do: all he knew was that he didn’t want to be around Quin or see his face.
When he arrived at Cassy and Lee’s place, his emotions came out like a broken dam when Lee opened the door. He grabbed Lee, holding onto him as he cried.
Lee rubbed his back, glancing toward Cassy to make some calming tea for Nine.
“Are you okay?” Lee asked as he continued to hold Nine. He practically supported his body.
“He doesn’t truly love me.” Nine cried and didn’t say anything else.
I wasted seven years with a man who couldn’t open his heart to me.
Note: I don’t know when I will post the next chapter. I will try to have at least one or two done before the month ends. Right now I am focusing on trying to make and save money for the end of next month. I am going to a stray kids concert (my first one since I have severe social anxiety so hopefully my pills and twin keep me leveled lol) in Los Angeles while staying for a few extra days to hang with my twin. So, I am trying to have enough money to play around in Cali lol.
Awww Poor Nine 🙁 I hope he can finally end things fully with Quin and move forward
Ah shit… Even if I knew what’s gonna happen, it’s still painful… The pain is different when you’re having a guess then that to knowing the truth