“Yuta-san… have you calmed down?”
“Yeah, I’ve calmed down now… I’m really sorry…”
I was wiping away tears as I distanced myself from the warmth of Ippei.
It was the feeling like I had made a mistake by revealing my truth without properly understanding Ippei’s feelings.
I wanted you to hear it. I wanted you to know. But that was just my arrogance.
Regret arises after connecting words, thinking that this fact, spoken without knowing your feelings, may have become a great burden or caused you pain.
“Please don’t apologize anymore…”
“…Huh…?”
“I… I’m also at fault…”
“Ippei…?”
The expression on Ippei’s face as he uttered those words seemed as if he might burst into tears at any moment—a poignant and pained expression that I remembered from that day.
I’ve made you wear that expression again. I’ve troubled you with my truth once more. Do I even have the right to fall in love with you…?
“B-because… I haven’t been able to properly convey my true feelings… I’ve only caused you and Yuta-san pain…”
“That’s… not…”
“It’s not different!!!!”
I witnessed Ippei raise his voice for the first time.
Even though his heart overflowed with feelings he wanted to convey, even though he wanted to let out his true emotions, the timing never seemed right… Ippei might have been struggling all this time, as he was unable to speak out, causing himself pain.
“Ippei…”
“…I-I’m sorry for raising my voice…”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Pa’r bxjs; sbe vbc’a cffv ab kbggs.”
“…Tbe’gf jikjsr rb xlcv, Teaj-rjc… Zjsyf P’nf yffc ajxlcu jvnjcajuf bo atja xlcvcfrr…”
“Q-ktja jgf sbe rjslcu…”
“Ktja’r ktja la lr… Teaj-rjc, P gfmflnf sbeg xlcvcfrr, jcv P’w rb lcmgfvlyis tjqqs lc atlr rqjmf klat sbe.”
“P offi atf rjwf kjs…”
“Teaj-rjc, P’ii afii sbe… P’ii qgbqfgis afii sbe ws agef offilcur.”
[I believe that even if you hear these feelings, you’ll still be by my side, and we’ll continue to share happy moments in this space…]
Ippei’s true feelings are about to be revealed.
It’s the cruel fate that only he understands—a fate imposed so brutally on him.
And even though we should be happy together, we shouldn’t be happy. We both already understand that. But when I realized the true meaning of “happiness” that Ippei refers to, I couldn’t help but feel that maybe this mistake isn’t a mistake after all.
“…Please tell me…”
“…Yes…”
I swallowed hard as I took a deep breath next to you. I couldn’t hide my nervousness either, knowing that I would finally hear your true feelings that had been hidden for so long.
“As you know, I have a certain nature, and I realized it as soon as I met you.”
“…Because… my pheromones were overwhelming…”
“…Honestly, I got excited… I was so excited and happy that I couldn’t even control myself…”
As an Omega, I don’t have a mate. There’s no way I could have one. I wouldn’t let just anyone mark me, and pleasure was enough. In fact, there wasn’t anyone like that at all. But there’s no denying that my first time with Ippei made me happy too.
“…Was I happy too…?”
“But it was after that… I started to deeply ponder what my happiness really is…”
“…Huh…”
“The more I saw you, the more I realized that I could always laugh and have fun when I’m with you; the cigarettes I had quit tasted good again; time flew by; and as a result, I found it hard to say goodbye…”
“Ippei…”
You had the same feelings as me.
Knowing that, I honestly felt the joy filling my heart, but beside me, you seemed on the verge of tears.
“Even if I had to hide it, I wanted to see you, Yuta. I wanted to get to know you without hurting you. But I made a big mistake…”
“…”
“I should have taken off the ring sooner… I used to take it off before going out, but I finally got caught…”
Today, Ippei’s right hand is still without a ring.
Did you calculate everything to that extent, acting for my sake…? I should have asked sooner, and I should have understood sooner…
And little by little, I can tell that your voice and words are starting to flow. Take your time; it’s okay. I’m prepared to accept everything.
“Ippei, take your time…”
“I was frustrated… I made such a mistake, and now I’m afraid you won’t see me anymore, that you’ll think I have a girlfriend…”
“…”
“And I made you cry… I made a mistake at work that would never normally happen… Why can’t things ever go right… Why can’t I be happy… My heart was in such turmoil…”
“…”
While I was suffering, you were suffering too. Despite both of us having feelings for each other, Ippei continued to suffer, thinking we shouldn’t cross that line.
But something doesn’t add up.
Then why are you with them…?
“Even so, you said this to me…”
[I truly want to cherish these moments that belong only to us.]
“I’ll say it clearly now… I… I… I don’t… I don’t love them at all…! No, I can’t love them… If I say it like this, I might get scolded, or you might pull away… But I can’t love a woman; I don’t even feel attracted to them…!!”
What does this mean…?
Then why are you living with them?
Why can’t you leave them?
As Ippei trembled, trying to reveal the true secret, he finally began to shed tears. Yes, it was the first time I saw Ippei cry.
But now, all I could do was wrap my arms around his trembling back, just as you did for me when I was crying.
“Ippei, it’s okay… I’m here.”
“…Why, why can’t I stop crying…”
“Because it was painful… for both of us…”
It’s because we’re finally letting out all the pain and suffering we’ve been holding onto for so long that it spills out as tears. So, it’s okay to let it all out here. It’s okay to let out as much as you need to.
“Let it all out… I’ve let it all out too. So it’s okay, Ippei, you can let out all that pain.”
“…Ugh… Y-Yuta-san…!!”
Tears flowing from Ippei, who’s usually so refreshing and sweet, didn’t taste sweet at all. They were bitter, laden with weight, and falling heavily.
You’ve been facing your own pain too, haven’t you? I’m sorry, I didn’t notice… But because we’re not having a typical romance, it took time for me to realize and understand.
[Not everything is a sin; there might be salvation. Maybe you’re the one who can pave the way for that?]
Daisuke-san’s words echo in my mind.
That’s right, it starts here. From here on, I want to rescue you. If there’s something I can do, I want to be there for you.
So, can you tell me more about your true feelings…?
Cool and stylish, Ippei raises his voice as tears continue to flow endlessly. I gently hold him until he stops crying, continuing to stroke his head.
