It’s snowing outside.
QiQi waited by the car for a long time, and because he couldn’t wait all the time, he picked up the Frisbee next to him and ran into the garden to play.
The world of animals is very simple. QiQi did not understand the separation of life and death of human beings.
Even though Xu ChengYan had been away for almost a year, QiQi would still come to the car to look for Xu ChengYan every time.
Although the maid and the Steward had explained it to QiQi many times, QiQi still couldn’t understand it.
It only knew that Xu ChengYan didn’t come this time, then he would definitely come back next time.
One day, he would come back.
QiQi was still simple-minded, rolling around in the yard. Even if he didn’t wait for Xu ChengYan, he wouldn’t feel sad.
In the villa, He Yang stood by the window and looked at the big dog in the yard.
He Yang habitually took out a cigarette from his pocket and lit it.
The cigarette butt fell at his feet, and He Yang didn’t care, he just looked in the direction of the car.
Maybe he was influenced a little by QiQi, and like QiQi, he always looked at the car unconsciously.
It always felt like in the next second, the door would be pushed open from the inside.
He Yang stared in the direction of the car door, in a trance, it seemed he really saw the car door being opened ——
The young man walked out of the car with a smile. He looked up, and smiled at him.
But when He Yang took a closer look, the car was still the same as before, it was empty inside.
It’s all just his fantasy.
He Yang lowered his eyes, hiding the emotions in his eyes.
It’s just that there were more and more cigarette butts on the ground, all over the place.
The room was deserted and very quiet.
He Yang smoked by the window alone until the arrival of the Steward broke the peace.
The Steward knocked on the door outside the room and said, “Young Master He, V brand has brought this month’s new styles.”
V brand was the men’s clothing brand under the Ruan family. In the past, it was managed by Mrs. He. After Mrs. He’s dead, the V brand was taken over by the Ruan family again.
The Ruan family and the He family did not interfere with each other’s business, but the Ruan family would still send a set of the limited new styles of V brand to the He family every time.
The Steward asked, “Shall I still put those in the room?”
He Yang glanced back and replied, “Yeah.”
So the Steward arranged for the maid to bring this month’s new men’s clothes and put those in the cloakroom of the bedroom.
From shirts to coats, scarves and others……. Ruan family sent a complete set over.
And these new products were still the same as before, all were Xu ChengYan’s size.
The Steward packed up the new clothes, and saw the man was still standing by the window, so he walked over.
The Steward: “Young Master He.”
He Yang looked over and asked, “Is today April Fool’s Day?”
The Steward replied skillfully, “There are still three months until April Fool’s Day.”
He Yang’s face was calm, and he continued to look at the snowy landscape outside.
Outside the window, the thick layer of snow in the yard melted day by day. The temperature also gradually warmed up, and the bare branches in the garden slowly grew green.
Every day, He Yang would stand by the window, holding a wooden tag in his hand, and stay alone for a long time.
The writing on the wooden tag had already faded to gray. The pendant rope on the wooden tag was also a little old, and the color was not as bright as before.
But He Yang still kept this wooden tag, never leaving his body, watching the scenery outside the window change day by day.
Until one morning in the spring, the Steward came.
“Young Master He.” The Steward reminded aloud, “Today is April Fool’s Day.
Mr. Xu’s death anniversary day had arrived.
The Steward looked at the man’s back and asked, “Young Master He, are you going to see him?”
The Steward didn’t mention Xu ChengYan’s name, he just called him “he”.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Coafg j ktlif, Lf Tjcu gfrqbcvfv, “Tfjt.”
“Yxjs.” Ktf Vafkjgv lwwfvljafis kfca ab wjxf jggjcufwfcar.
Qtfc Lf Tjcu mjwf bearlvf atf mfwfafgs, la tjqqfcfv ab yf tjio qjra afc lc atf wbgclcu.
Lbkfnfg, ktfc atf mjg rabqqfv, Lf Tjcu vlv cba wbnf jcv mbcalcefv ab rla lc atf mjg.
Pa kjr ralii gjlclcu bearlvf. Qtfc Lf Tjcu tfjgv atf rbecv bo atf gjlc, tf revvfcis yfmjwf j ilaaif jczlber jcv ogbkcfv rilutais.
It seems that it rains every year in early April.
The cemetery was still deserted, and there were only two or three people left.
He Yang was still in the car, sitting from morning to afternoon, habitually touching the wooden tag in his hand, over and over again.
【May XianSheng be safe year after year.】
He Yang looked at the handwriting on the wooden tag, and was a little lost.
It may be that this prayer really played a role. In this year, he had not been sick.
It was only occasionally that he had insomnia, and also seemed to have some auditory hallucinations.
He could always hear the vibration of the phone, and Xu ChengYan’s voice calling “XianSheng”.
He Yang put the wooden tag back in his pocket, and when he raised his head, he suddenly saw Jiang Lin outside the cemetery.
Jiang Lin was alone. He held an umbrella and a bunch of flowers in his arms as he walked by.
Jiang Lin looked over and recognized at a glance that the car beside him was He Yang’s car.
However, Jiang Lin didn’t intend to come over to reminisce. So, he just looked away indifferently and entered the cemetery alone.
Jiang Lin came to the tombstone, leaned over slowly, and put the bouquet aside.
Jiang Lin looked at the black-and-white photo above. He had a lot to say, but in the end he didn’t say anything, just turned around and left with an umbrella.
***
After leaving the cemetery, Jiang Lin came to the psychological clinic.
The doctor sat opposite Jiang Lin and asked with a smile, “How are you doing recently?”
“Very good.” Jiang Lin’s tone was very relaxed.
The doctor said, “I saw your post last month. Did you go on a trip again?”
Jiang Lin responded with a sound and replied, “I went to Finland last month and saw the aurora.”
He went to Kakslauttanen, Finland. Lying in the igloo, he saw a feast of stars in the starry sky.
He’s also gone to Sweden, to Norway……
He’s been to a lot of places since graduating last summer.
“I also collected a lot of stamps.” Jiang Lin said slowly, “I bought a lot, and the suitcase couldn’t fit.”
“Did you go alone?” The doctor asked.
“Well, I met a lot of friends on the road.” Thinking of the interesting things that happened on the road, Jiang Lin couldn’t help smiling, “I met a fellow, who, like me, is not used to foreign food. So, he has to go to the kitchen to cook it himself every time and he will leave a portion for me.”
“I also met a piano teacher, who said that he was looking for inspiration for his creation, and he had to run outside to blow the cold wind in the night.”
Jiang Lin was smiling at first, but as he said, Jiang Lin suddenly fell silent.
The doctor noticed Jiang Lin’s mood and called in a low voice, “Mr. Jiang?”
Jiang Lin suddenly said, “I just went to the cemetery to see him.”
“I miss him so much.” Jiang Lin lowered his head.
Doctor: “He will live well in another world.”
“I know.” Jiang Lin nodded, “He will live well……..”
Sister-in-law just went to another world.
He also believed that his sister-in-law would do well in a place he couldn’t see.
Although he would still be sad now, and he would still be heartbroken.
But he’s used to these negative emotions, and that’s okay.
It’s been a year since his sister-in-law left, and he’s used to it. Now he could talk about it with others calmly ——
At least he wouldn’t break down and cry when he recalled it like before.
Jiang Lin raised his head and said slowly, “A few months ago, I went to Anshi.”
He went to the town and met the driver’s family.
The driver’s wife ran a small fruit shop, and the driver’s daughter was already in high school.
He didn’t know how to deal with the family, so he found a reason to order a large amount of goods from the fruit shop and almost emptied the fruit shop.
He still remembered that when the order was placed, the driver’s wife kept smiling, and the driver’s daughter also sneaked over and gave him a souvenir from an ancient town.
He also saw a family photo of the driver’s family on the cashier counter in the store, the family of three was laughing happily.
“That family is really good……”
But such a family had lost a person forever.
And all of this was caused by him.
If he had opened his mouth and persuaded Sister-in-law to stay that morning, none of the latter would have happened.
Jiang Lin closed his eyes, calmed down for a while, and took a deep breath before continuing: “Sometimes, I still dream of that car accident.”
He dreamed that his sister-in-law died in front of him, blood dripping all over the ground.
And he could only take Sister-in-law’s body out of the van, holding the cold body, and there was nothing he could do.
“I really want to hug him again……” Jiang Lin whispered.
He still remembered the staff telling him that when the accident happened, the people in the car hadn’t died on the spot.
The deceased died because he was trapped in the car and it was dragged on for a long time until the fuel tanker exploded abruptly.
Jiang Lin couldn’t help but think when Sister-in-law left, it would hurt a lot, right?
Dying slowly in pain like this must be very painful……
Jiang Lin’s eyes were red, but he still controlled his emotions and didn’t lose his temper.
If his sister-in-law was still alive, he wanted to hug him again.
He just wants a warm hug.
***
When Jiang Lin left the psychological clinic, it was already evening.
The doctor tidied up the table, took off his white coat, and was ready to get off work and go home.
Just when the doctor closed the door and turned around, he saw He Yang coming.
The doctor said helplessly: “Mr. He, I have to get off work.”
He Yang: “Work overtime.”
The doctor had no choice but to say, “Then my consultation fee will be doubled.”
The doctor reopened the door and let He Yang in.
He Yang came to the psychological consultation room and sat on a chair.
The doctor put on a white coat and came over.
He Yang looked at the person across from him, and rarely took the initiative to say, “Today is April Fool’s Day.”
The doctor nodded and asked earnestly, “Does Mr. He have anything to say?”
“No.” He Yang said lightly.
The doctor was a little helpless, so he had to say, “Mr. He, you always ask me if it’s April Fool’s Day when you come here.”
Doctor: “Finally, it’s April Fool’s Day today and you’re still not willing to talk?”
However, He Yang still did not respond.
“Mr. He, it doesn’t matter if you don’t want to say it.” The doctor sighed. “The consultation fee is settled by the hour. Don’t forget that, Mr. He.”
After speaking, the doctor lowered his head and started sorting out the psychological consultation records.
And He Yang was opposite the table, holding the wooden tag in his hand and rubbing it.
The room fell into silence, very quiet.
The doctor had also become accustomed to the way the two of them get along with each other. After all, He Yang was like this every time he came over. He rarely speaks, and just sits here all the time.
The doctor continued to organize the records, and suddenly heard a slight click.
The doctor couldn’t help but look up, and saw that He Yang had a small black jewelry box in his hand, and the lid had been opened.
The box was very delicate. The doctor couldn’t see what was inside. It was estimated that the contents inside should not be very large. It may be accessories such as earrings or brooches and cufflinks.
And He Yang stretched out his hand and took out the things in the box ——
A pair of diamond rings.
He Yang looked at the pair of diamond rings and held them in his palm.
“Mr. He.” The doctor couldn’t help asking aloud, “Is this a gift?”
He Yang responded with a sound.
Doctor: “Who is it for?”
He Yang said slowly: “A friend.”
The doctor asked, “Is it for him?”
The doctor did not make it clear who “he” was, but He Yang was able to understand.
“Yeah.” He Yang leaned on the back of the chair and held the smaller one of the diamond rings.
“Mr. He, is he just a friend?” The doctor had a faint smile. “Friends don’t give diamond rings to each other.”
He Yang still didn’t respond, he still looked down at the diamond ring.
The doctor said slowly: “Jiang Lin and he are also friends. Jiang Lin didn’t give him a diamond ring.”
He Yang: “Not a friend.”
The doctor raised his eyebrows and asked, “Then, is he a boyfriend?”
He Yang fell silent and after a while, he answered: “No.”
They were neither friends nor lovers.
From the beginning to the end, they never confirmed their relationship.
The doctor asked tentatively, “Then who is he?”
The room fell into silence and no one responded.
The doctor looked at the man in front of him with a headache and sighed, “Mr. He, I said it before, please don’t suppress your emotions.”
It had been a year since that person died.
The situation on Jiang Lin’s side was much better. Jiang Lin had slowly come out of the pain and started a new life.
But the condition of the man in front of him was very bad. Everything was still the same as the beginning ——
He always talks less, his face was so cold, and the doctor couldn’t see his emotions at all.
No matter how he guided, He Yang always refused to let go, and only responded occasionally.
Seeing that He Yang had not spoken, the doctor deliberately provoked: “Mr. He, he is already dead.”
“It is too late to give the ring now. The dead can’t wear the ring.” The doctor tore open the wound cruelly.
He Yang held the diamond ring and said slowly, “He is not dead.”
‘Xu ChengYan is not dead.’
Every night, he could hear Xu ChengYan’s voice.
Whether it’s the apartment, the main house, or the company…….
Or even his car, there were all traces left by Xu ChengYan, who bought a bunch of things and left them in his car.
It was as if Xu ChengYan had never left.
“He’s not dead.” He Yang repeated it again.
“Mr. He, it’s been a year since he passed away.” The doctor’s tone was a bit cold, “A person can’t be resurrected from the dead.”
“This ring is already a year late, even if you have bought it now, it’s useless.” The doctor looked at the diamond rings; he frowned and said, “If you want to give it to him, you should give it to him earlier.”
He Yang looked down at the diamond ring in his hand as if he hadn’t heard it, and rubbed his finger against the inside of the ring.
After a long time, He Yang raised his head and finally said, “He’s a very important person.”
He’s a very important person.
Also, he was the person he liked.
But it was too late.
I don’t know what to say to him acting like this. Still angry, very angry, about how he treated Chengyan before, but also don’t know what to feel about how he’s acting now.
But I still feel saddest about how Qiqi keeps waiting for Chengyan to come out of the car. 🥺😢😭🥺😢😭🥺😢😭
Thanks for the chapter.
Even tho He Yang act like a pitful bastard now, i still can’t forgive him TT
And seeing Qiqi act like is truly the saddest 😭😭
He Yang appears to be suffering from psychosis or some other type of mental illness triggered by a death of someone close. His actions in the past were scum so he is scum, but his current state is quite pitiable. I fee for him too 🙁
Same. I am sad for Qi Qi. T_T
I have a mixed emotions about the ML. I still hate him, but aAARRGGHH!!!
Im so angry right now. How dare say the u love yanyan, when u didn’t defend him to ur ‘friends’ when they insult him. You didn’t even label ur relationship and now your saying that u love him?! fvck bro! Yanyan is mine!
I hope this fvck up bastard is not the male lead TT
I love u QiQi ^^
Thank you for this chapter, Translator-nim. <333
This comment woke me up from slowly accepting the ML. Thank you. Lol.
YEAH! HE DID NOT DEFEND MC BEFORE! HOW DARE HE!!
Aggressively nods
+1
I honestly don’t know why would he buy those rings… He didn’t even love him when yanyan was alive… Now he is dead he is feeling love and wanted to propose he yang looks just ridiculous
Yeah… he only admits that he likes Yan2 NOW? what a prick 😡
I have to remind myself everytime what he has actually done…..whenever i cry reading what is happening
I can’t really say that he deserves it but I just feel a little satisfied that he finally realized that Yanyan is irreplaceable. He brought him so much suffering so it’s good for him to suffer some as well. But it’s still too sad. It’s truly like time stopped for him and Qiqi. 😢
I’m really have a mixed feelings right now… I can’t forgive all his actions, but still feel a little pity for him…
Thank You for the new chapter (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡
thanks for the chapter <3
Animals and mourning are an interesting subject. I am less familiar with cats and dogs, but….. Ferrets can literally pine away when searching for a lost love one. I had 2 sisters, litter mates, that had always been together since birth. When one died from cancer, the vet explained that I had to show the sister the body briefly so she doesn’t make herself sick by nonstop searching for her. As soon as she got close she pulled back and curled into me, and stuck to me like glue afterward.
ahhh so satisfying… and i hope jl lives well <3
Hmm, are the Ruan family’s products the same as what the white moonlight wears? 🤔
Jiang Lin and QiQi are truly the best characters. He Yang is going to have to work really hard to redeem himself.
Glad Jiang Lin is making healthy progress! He’s in a much better place, I hope more things go well for him 🥺
….glad He Yang’s made like 2% progress I guess 😒. Objectively, without the background, what’s happening to him is pretty sad. He’s not living in the present. However, we know his past actions and it’s hard to fully empathize with him. I honestly have no idea how he’s going to make up for this, or why our Yanyan would take him back, but I look forward to being convinced by the author.
Thank you so much for your wonderful translations. This story is so good!!!!
These last few chapters have been so cathartic to read. I still don’t feel bad for He Yang; he clearly didn’t care about XCY until he was already gone, and right now he’s just feeling sad and not guilty (at least not visibly so). I’d like to see him do some nice, excruciating self-reflection so he can demonstrate to the audience that he fully understands what a terrible partner he was. And I’d also like to see him actually become a better person, otherwise he’s just another character from DPUBFTTB.
Now did he buy those rings before or after XCY “died”? If it was before, I can forgive him a little. If it was after, that kind of makes he hate him more.
Is he really a psychologist?? Lmao
This feels right
So when yanyan no longer there u admit that he’s important. Cowshit!
Go n run to ur precious sick whatshisname. Hv no idea what happened to him now. He’s pretty sus im telling ya…
This doesn’t absolve him of how he treated YanYan, of course, and I def think he needs to suffer A LOT… but idk maybe that’ll be a thing later after they reunite. 🤔
Also thanks for the chapter!!
YanYan thinking ML doesn’t want to take photos with him vs. ML throwing away all cameras after his mom’s death 7 years ago (just a couple of years before he met YanYan – which would explain why he took a lot of photos growing up but then stopped)
strange (maybe) emphasis on JL assuming that asshole friend said the same shit about YanYan in front of ML as usual, which caused ML to attack him when that wasn’t really the case (not excusing ML when it comes to how he deals with his friends excluding YanYan tho)
also we all know YanYan is alive but still thinking about how that burnt corpse they saw had the birthday watch… that YanYan had given Xiao Zhou earlier. I’m guessing that YanYan’s going to take Xiao Zhou’s identity. He seemed really concerned about the grandma being by herself all day. Plus the grandma already confuses YanYan as Xiao Zhou, so…
Anyway sorry, I just binge read all the chapters in one sitting so I have a lot of thoughts in my head LOL
I’m thinking the same as you.
I’m confused
🤨🤨
Wasn’t the driver’s only family the grandmother who has dementia
I-is this a hint?!!
Tux for the chappy
No, the tour guide was the one with the grandma.
the other car’s driver 🙁
You never know how important someone was until you loose them. Regret always comes later.
Lesson learned HY.
Jian Ling good boy, I wish good thing will come for you :”)
You did great,,
More! Suffer more! I really like this kind of plot. ML sufferings BWAHAHAHHAHAAAHAHHAAH
HAHAHAHHA same, same it gives me joy
idk man i feel very impatient with he yang, where does he get off acting so despondent, like he lost the love of his life when he never said single kind thing to him when he was alive. when he let him be mocked, disrespected and hurt again and again, who the hell does he think he is? i really have no patience for he yang’s grief, he does not deserve to get to act like he’s singular in his loss of a person he never actually cared for.
what he misses now is convenience and habits that he formed with yanayan.
Thanks for the chapter
He Yang should have been mentally consulted after his mother’s death. Maybe things would have turned out differently. Conclusion: ML is toxic, so is his environment.
yeah, even his friends are toxic, the only good one is Jiang Lin
Passenger’s Let it Go is how I feel about the ML. He only knew he loved Xu Chengyan when he let him go. While I do still strongly dislike the Ml, I feel as though his suffering is slowly allowing me to become neutral towards him. Hennyways, thank you for the translation
So everything actually link from mrs He not the white lotus friend.. the album its treasure because mrs.He , the style its because mrs . He
He Yang never loved that b!tch friend but was just guilty coz he was sicked when he saved him during that kidnapping time.
He Yang never dressed Yanyan like SXZ but it was his choice of fashion coz of his mother. They own a clothing brand and for sure SXZ dressed himself like that.
The photo he always look at was not bcoz its SXZ but because his mother took the photo…
The cake shop, I bet was also connected to his mother. It just so happen that he took SXZ their before.
Fxxxxkkkkkk!!! He was never a stand-in! He loved him but he’s just an assss… and Yanyan came aftr his mom died, we all know how vulnerable a person is when in pain… specially yanyan took care of him a lot.
Dayyyyymmm!!! but ofcourse!!! HE SHOULD STILL REGRET WHAT HE DID TO YANYAN. ONLY THEN CAN THEY BE HAPPY. HE NEEDS TO LEARN HIS LESSON AND KNOW HOW IMPORTANT YANYAN IS!! 😤😤😤
i hope your theory is correct before i curse He Yang more and more cause he piss me off
✌️😗…
So he finally remembered Xu ChengYan existed at some point
He was the important person he liked .He liked ??! Did you say that to him when he asked you what’s your relationship ? Didn’t you say your just bed partners? How dare you
are y’all seriously forgetting about that sheng bitch guy?
I am here for his deep emotional trauma being healed, I am not here for him to be the male lead. For real he deserves it. He’s a grass is always greener type of guy, and those types always cheat eventually.
You dare to feel sad? Ffff
Important, yeah, sure… let people talk at about ur Important persona and you mistreating and ignoring him, yeah Important
I don’t feel sorry to him :-) Ty for the chapter 💚
Sir you don’t have the right to be sad.. after how trash you treated yanyan… Even though you’re pitiful you still don’t deserve to be sad. You just get what you deserve… He didn’t even defend yanyan when his friends making fun of him and even join the bet if he returns or not. You love him but you don’t even put a label on your relationship or just even treated him right.
oh my god idk what to think rn im just depressed
i think this whole thing has to do with his mom, maybe he just wasnt able to speak his mind? maybe he would get punished for it? because he def has a psychological illness and he doesnt even open up with daily conversations even before yanyan died. idk im still very very very angry and resentful to he yang
Damn this doctor lolol really not mincing their words😅😂
Naw man I need more than this. This man blindfolded him during intimacy, where is the like!?? 😭 but I’m glad that MC will come back at the very least for Jiang Lin and Qi Qi’s sake
You like him? Really? I don’t believe you.
Idiot idiot idiot. This story is so good I rarely get this worked up about stories haha
F***!! No!!! It’s too late! Suffer more! Break more!! You will never feel an ounce of the pain and suffering XCY went thro!!
Your love is trash sorry. Yoh never defended him, don’t know his likes and dislikes. He was never Xu Chengyan for you, just a mannequin who looks like 1st love whom you could bang.