Edited by: Akane, Fallen, Pierce
Thirteenth Madame said that she was coming over to our apartment the day after tomorrow, noontime, with Master Zhao Si to check up on the injured Zhao Gongzi. I don’t believe her.
If we have to state what the most terrifying lie in the world is, then nothing beats Thirteenth Madame and Master Zhao Si saying that they’d visit the day after, but actually barging in within an hour.
The past was a stark reminder to us.
That was when Zhao Gongzi and I had just moved out of the main manor, and Thirteenth Madame had said that she would come over with Master Zhao Si to see us. At the time, Zhao Gongzi and I had not yet finished negotiating the cleaning shift schedule. Of course, that schedule has never been finished; but that’s a story for another time.
In any case, at the time I was extremely panicked, we hadn’t even finished hiring housekeepers and other servants, would we have to find someone randomly on the streets?
Zhao Gongzi hollered at me, “Don’t you dare bring some random stranger into Laozi’s home!”
This is why he and I don’t have any servants even after looking for one for a month, or mostly it was him making the choices. To sum it up, he wanted a creature that wasn’t male, nor female, and wasn’t pretty or ugly in order for him to find pleasing to the eye but at the same time make me not feel they were pleasing to the eye. He is so annoying.
I said, anxiously and hurriedly, “We don’t have any time left, let’s just get someone to come for now. Otherwise, tomorrow when they come and see that the apartment is so messy, they won’t agree to you living away from home!”
Zhao Gongzi paused, and seemed to realize the importance of the problem, but still coldly looked at me. “If Laozi can’t live outside, then you’ll have to go back too.”
I said, “That’s why we need to be a team right now.”
Zhao Gongzi reluctantly agreed, and said, “You go clean up.”
I said, “You come clean up with me.”
Zhao Gongzi swore at me, “Fuck, moving out was because you wanted to move out, you said that once we moved out Laozi didn’t have to care about anything!”
The words a man says to reach a goal, needn’t be too trusted.
I said, tactfully, “This is our home, it can’t be that I’m the only one to put in effort, so each of us should do half.”
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “So only when we do chores are Laozi and you equal? How come Laozi only has a drawer’s worth of space in the closet?”
Because I was planning on throwing out the majority of his clothes, so one drawer was enough.
I said, tactfully, “My clothes are your clothes.”
He very coldly said, “Don’t want them.”
If this was anyone else, I would have just thrown the clothes away and wouldn’t borrow my own clothes out. I was being so nice, and yet he didn’t appreciate it, he is so annoying.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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When we came home at dusk, it was already too late.
Thirteenth Madame and Master Zhao Si were sitting in the living room, expressions ugly. The servants of the main manor were scrubbing the floor.
Zhao Gongzi hollered at me, “I fucking told you not to give them the spare key!”
Fuck, use your brain, is it possible for me to refuse?!
I lowered my eyes and stood submissively.
Thirteenth Madame said, “I asked Yixin to give it to me, don’t holler at him.”
Zhao Gongzi shouted, “Give me back the key!”
Master Zhao Si replied, “It’s not as if you have anything that can’t be seen, what’re you afraid of?”
Zhao Gongzi replied, “This is my place.”
Thirteenth Madam said, “Is that any way to speak to your dad?”
Zhao Gongzi shut up at that.
The servants in the kitchen exclaimed in shock, “Oh my lord! Heavens, it’s so dirty, how did this happen?”
I lowered my eyes and stood submissively.
Zhao Gongzi hollered at the servant, “Shit, call your mother!”
Thirteen Madame said, “Your mother, I, am right here.”
Zhao Gongzi shouted, “You said it yourself that you’d come here tomorrow!”
Thirteenth Madame replied, “Is there any connection between where you two live and when your dad and I will come over?”
There is. We originally could have finished cleaning up tonight. Why did you guys have to come early, can’t we just keep the web of lies intact?
Master Zhao Si lightly said, “I said you two were being ridiculous earlier. Yixin, you just like to go on farces with him. If you’re going to accompany him on these farces, then at least take care of him better, what kind of place are you two living in?”
“I apologize, Fourth Master, I understand.”
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “What’s it got to do with him, can he make the decisions?”
The servant’s voice piped up from the kitchen again. “Aiya, this oil–”
Zhao Gongzi hollered at the servant, “Shut up!”
Thirteenth Madame said, “Zhao Long, you shut up. If you have guts then you should tidy up your own place. Oh Yixin, you two haven’t chosen servants yet?”
“We’re still looking.”
Thirteenth Madame continued, “Don’t be too picky when choosing servants, as long as they’re steady and hardworking, then that’s enough.”
“Alright, I know.”
Thirteenth Madame said, “Ai, it’s not that I want to scold you two, it’s just that you’ve got to live well, don’t make it all a mess.”
“Alright, I know.”
It’s been a long time since that time. Thirteenth Madame and Master Zhao Si haven’t come too many times, but Zhao Gongzi and I have already learned how to immediately spring into action as soon as we get a call. Occasionally, we won’t get to work in time, and so will lie that we’re not at home. After all, we’ve already changed the locks on the doors. The only thing is that one time Master Zhao Si made Uncle Da Li pry open the door, happening upon me and Zhao Gongzi who were playing around on the sofa red-handed. After that, we didn’t use that trick much anymore. It was Zhao Gongzi’s fault. I had originally planned on going out, but he said that in any case, the door was locked so his dad would be considerate and know to go back home. Zhao Gongzi is so annoying.
Nowadays, we haven’t employed any servants, nor can we afford to hire them anymore. What’s more, Zhao Gongzi took his injury as an excuse to stay in bed, so only I can do the house chores.
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “Put that down.”
“It’s okay, just rest, I can do it,” I replied.
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “Laozi is telling you to put down the decoration that Laozi bought for a hundred euros. Don’t think about pretending to clean up and accidentally smashing it again. Right now Laozi can’t use my hands to stick it back together.”
If I had a hundred euros then I would rather use it to bribe the police and have them catch the people who scammed him. After I painstakingly got him to stop buying so many of those ugly clothes, he started buying ugly decorations. He simply wants to waste money, he simply wants to anger me.
One time he bought a few ugly paintings and insisted on hanging them in the living room. I negotiated with him about hanging them on the balcony instead, but then in the middle of the night, he went and rehung the paintings in the living room again while I was asleep, causing me to be shocked into a cold sweat whenever I passed by the living room in the night.
Zhao Gongzi is the most annoying person in the whole world.
I put that ugly decoration that was so ugly that you couldn’t even tell what it was back in its place, then continued to clean up, and didn’t pay any mind to Zhao Gongzi’s swearing.
Thankfully, this time the apartment wasn’t too messy. When I came out of the kitchen, I planned to mop the floor last, but I saw Zhao Gongzi coldly and silently mopping the floor.
“I said I’ll do it this time.”
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “Later you’ll just damage my floors.”
“Let’s not scrub the floors anymore, we’ll do it tomorrow.”
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “Who knows, they might come right now.”
“Even if they say something, they’ll only scold me, not you.”
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “It’ll disrupt my rest.”
I want to rest with him right now, but he wasn’t appreciative at all, and even swore at me. “My leg isn’t fucking better yet!”
It’s not like a broken leg would affect relaxing.
Zhao Gongzi swore at me. “Settle down!”
He really represents the saying the pot calling the kettle black, as if he was some decent person.
I had no choice but to settle down, after doing chores I was a bit tired, and slowly fell asleep.
Once I woke up, it was already midnight. I didn’t want to disrupt any of the work that we had done before Thirteenth Madame and Master Zhao Si came over to check the place, so I asked Zhao Gongzi what he wanted to eat for dinner tonight. I’d go out and buy something and bring it back.
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “They phoned and said that they’re busy and can’t come.”
Me: “……..”
I asked, “How did you pick up the phone?”
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “I walked over and used my hand to pick it up.”
I asked, “Then what about me?”
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “You slept like a pig, even if there was a thunderstorm you wouldn’t wake, even if you were thrown outside, you wouldn’t know. One day when Laozi’s not happy, Laozi will throw you out in the streets.”
The way he speaks is truly so unpleasant.
Zhao Gongzi coldly said, “Go and cook dinner, I’m hungry.”
I had no other choice but to go make dinner. No matter what, though, this time we’d managed to pass the inspection.
Zhao Gongzi’s journal:
My dad picked my door again. When I’m all better, I’ll go to his house and pry open all his doors.
The author has something to say: Every chapter I’ve got to think of a funny yet also close to life (?) main gag. And so it’s not so easy to think up, so sometimes postings will come very slowly, sorry!
Rinrin: An eye for an eye, huh, Zhao Long?
This is the promised earlier update bc of the earlier long hiatus
thanks for the chapter <3
thanks!
thanks for the chapter!