Yu QingTang stood up subconsciously and then was pressed back down again by Da-Shijie.
“Running is futile at this point.” Da-Shijie shook her head profoundly: “Not to mention, the disciple can run, but the sect cannot. If you want to resolve this issue completely, you have to confront it.”
Yu QingTang looked horrified: “You aren’t really thinking about sending me out there!”
“How could I!” Da-Shijie took his hands with a sincere look in her eyes: “Shijie is well-aware of the kind of moral integrity that kid has. How can I let you jump into the fire pit!”
The corners of his mouth twitching, Yu QingTang attempted to remind her: “Even if he’s an upstanding individual, you can’t consider it. I’m your Xiao-Shidi, a man!”
Turning a deaf ear, Da-Shijie continued to say: “However, whoever tied the bell on the tiger must untie it. So ‘Xiao-Shimei’ should be the one to decline.”
Yu QingTang shrugged expressionlessly: “Where are we going to find Xiao-Shimei?”
“Don’t panic, I have a magical treasure that can solve this problem.”
Da-Shijie patted him on the shoulder and stretched out her neck to look outside the door: “According to the time, lil’ 17 should be back by now.”
Yu QingTang finally realized: “Speaking of which, how come I haven’t seen 17-Shixiong today? Where did he go?”
Speak of the devil.
The door to the great hall slammed open with a bang and a young man in pigtail charged in energetically: “Here it is! I bought it! Almost got crushed to death! That crowd of female cultivators had really utilized everything they knew!”
He held a small bundle in his hand, which he handed over to Da-Shijie.
Yu QingTang suddenly had an ominous feeling. He silently took two steps back: “What is this?”
Da-Shijie’s mouth curved upwards: “A magical treasure.”
She opened the bundle. With a snap, she unfurled a long, light green, muslin dress that hung to the ground and introduced it with sparkling eyes: “The Beauty Pavilion’s newest and most fashionable outfit for female cultivators. Da-Shijie didn’t even want to buy it for herself, but today, we’ve really gone all out for you!”
“Come, Tang, undress!”
Saying this, she got ready to take action. Yu QingTang shouted in panic: “Wait!”
Da-Shijie halted. Yu QingTang gripped his collar closed tightly and argued vehemently: “Even if you make me put on this garment, I can’t suddenly transform into Xiao-Shimei!”
When he finished saying this, he paused. 7 years ago, he seemed to have said the exact same thing.
At that time, it didn’t seem to have much use either.
Sure enough, Da-Shijie revealed an inexplicable smile: “Not necessarily.”
With 30% kindness and 70% creepiness, she touched his face: “Just look at this cold and pristine, charming little face of yours, then pair it with this dress!”
She blinked twice rapidly: “Just need to apply a bit of makeup, and I promise I will transform you into a captivating and peerless beauty, capable of obscuring the moon and shaming even the flowers!”
“Forget Long AoTian, even your 17-Shixiong will become dazzled by the sight.”
“Ah?” 17-Shixiong opened his eyes wide and looked towards Yu QingTang, scratching his head: “I……”
Da-Shijie didn’t wait for his reply either and waved her hand to clear the room: “Out of the way, out of the way. Guys go out first. Sisters, roll up your sleeves!”
Seeing the bottles and jars the three Shijies were pulling out, Yu QingTang turned and immediately followed behind his Shixiongs. Without any surprise, however, Da-Shijie grabbed him by the scruff of his neck.
“I’m also a guy!” Yu QingTang argued vehemently.
“From now on, you’re not.” Da-Shijie retorted mercilessly. She patted Yu QingTang on the head and then coaxed him: “It’s better to get the pain over with than to prolong it. If you put on women’s clothes and settle this matter right now, at most you can avoid him in the future.”
“Considering he’s the proud genius of the GuiYi Sect, for the sake of his pride and reputation, he probably won’t take the initiative to seek you out again.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Ktlr vlv rbecv gfjrbcjyif ja olgra uijcmf, yea Te HlcuKjcu ralii qgfrrfv vbkc bc tlr mbiijg alutais, qifvulcu ab vfofcv atf ijra yla bo tlr vluclas: “Po atlr atlcu ufar fzqbrfv, tf klii vfolclafis yf fnfc wbgf qlrrfv boo!”
16-Vtlplf ibbxfv ja tlw uibbwlis: “Tbe mjc ub jtfjv atfc.”
Te HlcuKjcu kjr rajgaifv: “Ct?”
“Go ahead and tell him that you had disguised yourself as a woman and tricked him.” 16-Shijie looked at him: “If he refuses to drop this matter, then just tell him that Da-Shijie had forced you back then.”
Da-Shijie was also startled: “QQ.”
16-Shijie, expressionlessly: “If he still refuses to drop this matter, you guys can tell him that back then, Shifu didn’t stop you guys either.”
Daoist XianHe’s flustered and furious “Unfilial disciple” could be heard coming from outside the door.
16-Shijie turned a deaf ear and raised her chin, saying in an impartial tone: “However, we had also allowed your mischief and didn’t stop you guys.”
“Worst comes to worst, we can all depart together.”
Turning around, she took out an earthen wine jar from some unknown place and caressed it with a soft and gentle expression: “Such a huge wine jar, it should be enough to fit us all together.”
Yu QingTang: “……Shijie, can you stop talking, I’m scared.”
16-Shijie crouched down and looked at him warmly, one hand holding the wine jar and one hand holding the dress: “Go ahead and pick.”
Daoist XianHe’s voice squeezed in from the door crack: “Oh Tang, before coming here, he just visited the Seven Swords Sect. I heard they only have three swords left now.”
He rubbed his nonexistent tears and pretended to be pitiful: “This master is the only one here, there’s not even anyone to block a strike!”
“Shifu is already old and can no longer hold back such a youthful warrior!”
Yu QingTang: “……”
This old man was pretty good at acting.
“Be quiet.” 16-Shijie remained impartial: “Ignore him. You pick. Shijie will help you regardless of which you pick.”
Yu QingTang looked at that earthen jar, then looked at that dress.
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath: “I… am a manly man of greatness! I definitely won’t do such a disgraceful thing to just survive and prolong an ignoble life!”
Even though their BieHe Sect didn’t have much grace and nobility anyways.
Da-Shijie: “QQ.”
Daoist XianHe: “Clinging needlessly to one’s reputation will lead to suffering, my disciple mmphhh!”
He sounded as if someone had covered his mouth.
With a nod, 16-Shijie threw the dress at 2-Shijie and stood up holding the earthen jar: “Then we will all…..”
“Cough!” Yu QingTang cleared his throat heavily and placed his hands behind his back: “However!”
“This thing……” He reached out a finger and poked that earthen jar: “It would be a bit too tight for so many of us to squeeze into such a jar. So it’s better… to first… give it a try.”
He shuffled over in small steps. Picking up the dress and measuring it over his body, he glanced at them furtively: “Will I be able to fit in this?”
Grinning joyfully from ear to ear, Da-Shijie jumped up: “Yes yes yes! Definitely! Let Shijie help you!”
Da-Shijie did the makeup. 16-Shijie styled his hair. 2-Shijie taught him etiquette and propriety. A moment later, the big doors were pushed open. Yu QingTang walked out cautiously holding onto the doorframe.
He already did not like to tie up his hair normally, so 16-Shijie did her best to give him a simple hairstyle. Coupled with his cold and pristine face, it made him seem even more stainless and untouchable.
All of the Shixiongs held their breaths in concentration. Yu QingTang awkwardly lifted the collar in front of his chest and raised his eyes cautiously to ask: “Do I look it?”
17-Shixiong’s expression was dazed, a suspicious blush appeared on his face: “Ah, ah?”
3-Shixiong smacked the hand Yu QingTang held in front of his chest: “Don’t move.”
Yu QingTang blinked and didn’t dare to move.
3-Shixiong continued to say: “Put your hand down.”
“Deep breath, puff up your chest, raise your chin, curb your expression……”
He narrowed his eyes and made a circle around Yu QingTang: “Carry your zither from now on, to avoid not knowing where to place your hands.”
“Oh, oh.” Like a marionette, Yu QingTang complied obediently and carried the Dragon Heron Zither in his arms.
He didn’t know if it was his imagination, but this zither seemed particularly shiny today.
“En—” 3-Shixiong nodded in satisfaction: “That’s more like it.”
He gently spread open the fan in his hand, his peach blossom eyes smiling ostentatiously: “A white plum blossom in the high mountains, a jade lotus breaking through the surface of the water, amazing.”
Yu QingTang: “…… Shixiong, you’re smiling like such a pervert.”
3-Shixiong’s smile did not lessen as he reached out and pressed his fan against Yu QingTang’s mouth: “Do not open your mouth.”
Yu QingTang obediently closed his mouth, paused and then realized: “But if I don’t speak, how do I refuse him?”
“Our BieHe Sect focuses on cultivation through music after all. The method of changing one’s voice is naturally the most basic of basics.” With a wave of his hand, Daoist XianHe said: “This master will teach you. I guarantee you’ll learn it in just two breaths!”
Yu QingTang followed his teachings obediently and then tried it out: “Shixiong?”
This voice sounded about 70-80% similar to his regular voice. The pitch was just slightly higher, more like a woman.
17-Shixiong flushed red: “Ye…yes.”
3-Shixiong fanned himself with a smile: “Silver pearls falling onto a plate, fragmented gold hitting jade, nice.”
Yu QingTang: “……3-Shixiong, can you move further away from me. I’m pretty scared.”
Cupping her face, Da-Shijie made a circle around him: “Not bad, really not bad.”
“Cough.” 2-Shijie reminded him: “Do you still remember your character setting?”
Yu QingTang answered meticulously: “Reticent and taciturn, not good at communication. Cold and detached by nature, cultivating the Emotionless Path of Dao.”
2-Shijie continued to ask: “Why are you refusing?”
“Cultivation takes priority. Relationships and romance are forbidden.” Yu QingTang pressed his fingers firmly against the zither: “I cannot forsake my sect, so I can only forsake thee.”
Da-Shijie took a deep breath: “Just like that!”
“Wait!” 3-Shixiong suddenly held out his fan and pointed at Yu QingTang’s chest: “Shouldn’t he have a bit of something here?”
Yu QingTang lowered his head and looked at his chest, expressionlessly pressing down on the strings of the zither tighter.
“Aren’t there still fresh mushroom buns in the kitchen?” 17-Shixiong suggested: “How about I go grab two?”
“Why the hell are you grabbing steamed buns!” Da-Shijie rolled her eyes to the sky: “So when the time comes, the guy can say— XianZi, you smell so good, as good as steamed buns?”
Yu QingTang covered his eyes: “Aren’t we cultivators? Can’t we be a bit more mystical? At least use a transformation skill or something.”
“Yes, that’s possible.” Daoist XianHe rubbed his chin: “But there’s a risk. If you encounter cultivators with special eye techniques or magic items like the Comprehensive Mirror of All things, the concealment might not hold.”
Yu QingTang pondered briefly: “Eye techniques, magic items…… He shouldn’t have any of that right now.”
“En?” Daoist XianHe looked at him in bewilderment.
Yu QingTang immediately corrected himself: “I mean, I think…… we should take a gamble.”
He closed his eyes and puffed out his chest: “Come!”
He had closed his eyes, but the others’ voices became even clearer.
Da-Shijie: “This is too big, it won’t work. My Shidi is taking the cold and pristine route right now. A little is enough.”
3-Shixiong: “Hah, old-fashioned. Big is good. Good is big……ouch! Don’t hit me!”
17-Shixiong: “It’s all… all good.”
2-Shijie: “Since we’re changing things, might as well fix the shoulders. These shoulders are a bit broad for girls.”
Yu QingTang couldn’t take it anymore and opened his eyes: “Are you guys done?
“Done done.” Da-Shijie grinned from ear to ear. Admiring the view from head to toe, she couldn’t help but tsk and exclaim: “Perfect.”
“This is how I want to look in my next life.”
Yu QingTang: “…….”
16-Shijie asked him in concern: “How do you feel?”
“Horrible.” Yu QingTang, expressionlessly: “Like 100 Soul-Eating Insects are crawling around on my body.”
“That shouldn’t be!” Daoist XianHe paled in alarm: “This kind of reaction doesn’t occur usually!”
“It’s the internal kind of horrible!” Yu QingTang turned his head indignantly and covered a hand over his heart.
“Ah!”
Everyone screamed in horror.
Startled, Yu QingTang lowered his head and looked down. He saw the hand touching his heart penetrating directly through the slightly protruded chest.
Like those shoddy, low-quality online games in his past life— he, an artificially created body figure, was clipping through his character model.
Yu QingTang: “……”
He silently withdrew the hand penetrating his chest and looked up to ask: “What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Just……” Daoist XianHe shifted his gaze guiltily and said: “Don’t let him touch, and… and it won’t get exposed.”
“Don’t touch it yourself either.”
Yu QingTang closed his eyes: “……I don’t want to live anymore. How about we all squeeze into a small box together.”
The author has something to say:
Yu QingTang: It’s so hard to be a woman (hands behind back wearily)
Thanks for the chapter! So funny seeing the zither become shiny 🤣🤣🩷
Hey, the zither doesn’t want to lose in beauty!
😂🤣😅..can’t wait to see what happens next…thank you for the chapter 🌺
LMAOOO HAHAHA WE’RE ALL GOING INTO THE BOX TOGETHER
Thank You for the new chapter ♡(ŐωŐ人)
😂 Thanks for the chapter!
Something tells me that he’s going to regret not going with the steamed buns.
It’s better to squeeze into that small box now 😂
Fffff lmao, seven swords now only having four swords
their sect is full of interesting people 😂😂
I’m dead lol, thank you for the chapter!!!
loool, this is pretty ridiculous so far hahaha
I’m glad that I finally sat down to read the first few chapters ^^
As always, thanks for the translation~~~