I step into the ward. Patti is lying on the bed in the left side of the room and my parents are next to her. My mother’s eyes are dry but her hands clutching her purse are white, displaying how hard she’s been gripping the strap. As I step into the room, Patti’s eyes flicker open.
“Amma?!” My mom calls her.
“Gayatri…What happened?” Patti responds to my mom.
“Nothing, nothing, your blood sugar was a little low but it’s all fine now.” Patti peers around the room, patting my mother’s hand reassuringly and smiling at my father. Then, she notices me.
“Ramakrishnan! You are here too?” .
“Of course Patti.” I smile softly.
“That’s right Amma, he came here to see you.” My mother tells her.
“Oh good, good. Ramakrishnan, my Raman I’m so happy to see you. You’re such a big boy now, making food by yourself and everything. And you’re already old enough to get married. But I don’t know if I’ll live long enough-“
“Amma don’t say that!” My mother interrupts. “Of course you’ll live. You’ll live for a long time. Actually, Ramakrishnan came here to tell you some special news. Isn’t that right Ramakrishnan?” She turns to me, forcefully smiling, urging me with her eyes. Appa is indifferent while Patti looks curious.
I watch Patti’s wrinkled and chapped lips, the same lips that would spout the plot to various Indian soap operas for hours. I gaze at those perpetually smiling eyes, that are now underlined with heavy shadows. Back when I was studying for the SAT and had my own eye bags, she would place a blanket over me, hand me water to drink, cheer me up with her incessant chatter…My mind returns from the memories and I, once again, gaze at her shrunken and pallid form before opening my mouth.
“I do.” I inhale sharply. My mother looks expectant, Appa is still disinterested, and Patti is still curious.
“I’m gay.” It’s silent.
Then my mother stands up sharply.
My father says “Ramakrishnan you…”
Patti says “what is that?”
“It’s nothing, nothing. Amma, Ramakrishnan is just jokin-” My mother quickly says.
“It means I like men. I like-” Patti doesn’t understand the word ‘like’, I inhale sharply again – “I’m in love with a man.”
Ten minutes later I’m standing outside the hospital, scratching the back of my head. I guess I was kicked out. I wince recalling my mother’s screaming. I suppose she’ll be ignoring me again. Appa and Patti didn’t know what to make of it, really. I mean, they won’t be happy about it. But I’m financially independent, almost at least, so there’s not much they can do. A for Patti’s illness, I love her but…“how is her life dependent on you?!” Chen’s words ring in my head. I sigh. That’s right, it’s not. Then, I turn and leave the hospital, glancing back one last time on my way out. I’ll be back soon to visit you Patti.
When I reach home Chen isn’t there, naturally. I glance towards his empty room, Cao Cao’s former location, then at the fridge. I let out a sigh. Is he coming back? I scoff at myself. What do you think Ram? After everything that’s happened? Do I even have a right to try to get him back? I don’t know. Let’s just take a nap. I walk to my room, yank my shirt off, and fall face first onto my bed. Sometime later I’m awoken by the doorbell. Yawning, I slowly trudge over before opening the door. Who could it be? Probably a delivery person. My family’s pissed at me and who else would–
It’s Chen. He’s wearing the same clothes as earlier, gaze downcast and fingers fidgeting. As soon as I open the door he starts speaking: “I just came back to grab-” He sees me and chokes, his face fiercely flushing. I blink, then glance down to see my bare chest. Oh. Whoops.
It’s silent. I open my mouth to speak, but then pause. What should I say? What can I say?
“I just came to grab a manuscript I left behind!” He yelps.
“Wait-“
He pushes past me into the house, rushes to his room, and comes out, manuscript in hand.
“Chen-Chen wait, can we talk.”
“About what? I don’t think there’s anything to talk about.” His voice is cold but his red ears betray him.
“Please…” He ignores me, determinedly walking towards the door.
“Chen…” He’s about to step outside.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“P mjwf bea ab ws ojwlis.” Lf qjerfr. “P abiv atfw atja, atja P’w ujs jcv atfgf’r j wjc P ilxf.”
“Qts kbeiv sbe vb atja?” Lf jrxr klatbea aegclcu tlr yjmx, tlr nblmf yfgfoa bo fwbalbc.
“Dfmjerf la’r atf ageat.”
“Ktfc ktja jybea sbeg ugjcvwj?”
“Tbe kfgf gluta. Lfg ilof lrc’a vfqfcvfca bc wf.”
“But I thought you said you’re not like me, shirking of all responsibility.” His voice is frigid.
“I was wrong. You haven’t shirked off all responsibility. I just” I grit my teeth. ” – I was afraid. I was afraid to be like you, to follow my dreams, to stop using my family as an excuse. When I said that I-” I close my eyes and inhale sharply, “I was jealous of you.”
Chen whirls around. “Of me?!” His soulful eyes are as wide as saucers and glistening.
“Yeah.”
“But-but why?! You have your family, you’re successful, you’re athletic, you’re-you’re-“
“But I’ve never done anything purely on my own. Most of my actions,” I scratch my head, “have been heavily influenced by my family.”
“That’s not bad. They’re there for you.”
“That’s true. But it’s also true that I was jealous seeing how you could talk about your dreams and the sacrifices you made for them.” It’s silent. We face each other.
Chen softly breaks the silence. “Is…is your grandma okay?”
“Yeah, she’s fine.”
“Even after you came out?” He looks conflicted. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I didn’t just do it for you.” He looks up. “I mean, I’ve never really had a crush on a girl. You’re the”, I clear my throat, “you’re the first person I’ve actually liked.” He stares at me.
“What about your parents?”
“My dad…probably isn’t the happiest but he’ll get over it and my mom is ignoring me.” Chen’s eyes widen with anxiety.
“But then again it’s nothing new.” I shrug. “She seems to always be ignoring me for some reason or another.”
“But they’re upset-“
“They’ll get over it.” I shrug again. “It’s not like they’ll start hating me. What can they do? This is what their son is like.” Chen stares at me, opening and closing his mouth several times.
I inhale and internally brace myself. “So…”
“What?”
“Will you come back and live with me?”
“You…” He stares at me.
“It’s pretty empty for such a large apartment. Um, I promise not to bother you. I mean, I won’t bang on your door anymore or disturb you when you’re busy. I won’t cook spicy food. I’ll buy lots of strawberries and watermelons.” I peek at Chen’s expression, I can’t read what it means. Alright, let’s try this.
“And Cao Cao needs his dad!” His eyebrows scrunch up. “I’m his dad!”
“He needs a dad who can teach him healthy habits-” Chen’s face is getting blacker and blacker. “-which is you of course. But he needs a second parent to grow up wholesome and healthy!”
“He already has a dad!” I grit my teeth.
“Fine, then I’m the mom, I’m the mom!” I walk over to Chen, and bend down to his height. “You’re not going to deprive Cao Cao of his mom now are you?” He glances at my wide open blinking eyes and bare chest, then looks away. I notice his red ear and grin internally.
“Who’s his mom!” Chen pouts.
I keep blinking my wide open eyes.
“…fine! Now get away from me!” He says, shoving me back. I fall into the couch, a large grin breaking out across my face.
“What are you smiling like that for!?”
“I’m happy you’re back.” I sincerely reply. He turns away from me. By now his entire ear is fiercely scarlet. I chuckle.
“And stop laughing!”
That same afternoon I drive Chen to Mimi’s house to bring back his stuff.
“If you ever hurt him again-” Mimi threatens. “I will end you.”
“Yes, definitely. I won’t hurt him again.” I promise, flicking off imaginary sweat from my brow. Damn girls can be scary.
As we drive back, Chen fingers Cao Cao in his lap while I take peeks at him through the corner of my eye.
“So…” I start. He looks up questioningly.
“Are we together now?”
“Huh?”
“Like boyfriends, we’re together now right?” He chokes. Then opens and closes his mouth.
“That’s so unromantic!”
I blink. “Well…I already brought you flowers-“
“How do those ones count!?” He demands pinching me. I burst out laughing.
“Well to be fair that’s a really obscure meaning, how was I supposed to know those flowers represent-“
“Shut up.”
“You said it earlier! Hahaha! Don’t pinch, there, don’t-” I yelp as he pinches my ticklish waist. The car caresses the edge of the lane and someone honks from behind.
“Wait, so are we?” I ask, after my laughter dies down.
“We’re not.”
“Ah? But-“
“Don’t mention the flowers!”
“Then why aren’t we? I basically confessed-” I glance at him, his face is turned away from me and his ear is red.
“We’re not because I say we’re not!”
“But-” We reach home with no conclusion. The minute we arrive, Chen gets out of the car and rushes to his room. I try to follow but I’m blocked by the locked door. I raise my fist to knock. As if sensing me outside the door Chen calls back “I’m busy!” before I have an opportunity for my fist to make contact with the door. I recall my words from earlier: “I won’t bang on your door anymore or disturb you when you’re busy.”
Argh, why did you say that Ram? I glance towards the door again and my lips quirk into a smile. At least he’s back now. I head to my room to finish some work. Around an hour later I come out to grab a glass of water. I’m humming and there’s a light spring in my step. I glance towards the newly returned Cao Cao…then freeze.
“Chen.” My voice sounds strangled.
“Chen!” I quickly stride towards his door and knock loudly. “Chen! Cao Cao-Cao Cao has-“
“What?” The door immediately opens. “What’s wrong with Cao Cao?” I point. Chen looks over-then his face breaks out into a smile.
“Oh what do we have here? Looks like Cao Cao has made a friend!”
“A friend??? You call that a friend!?” I point at the hairy monstrosity. “That-that-“
“It’s just a spider Ram, nothing to get worked up about.”
“Worked up about?! It’s all spindly and-” I pause, Chen is staring at me as if I’m stupid. Maybe I am being stupid. “Fine.” I pick up a textbook sitting on the table and raise it high.
“What are you doing???!” Chen cries.
“I’m going to kill it.”
“Don’t! Spiders are amazing! If we didn’t have them we’d get overrun by other flying insects like mosquitoes!”
“Well then, get it out of here!”
“I will, I will, if only to get it away from this killer.” He gestures towards me. I watch with trepidation as he grabs a cup and slice of paper, smoothly slides the spider into the cup, and lets it go outside. My thumping heart slowly falls back into my chest. I’m an idiot. What the hell was that Ram?
Chen walks back in and pets Cao Cao’s leaves. Then he looks at me, a peculiar expression on his face.
“…what?” I ask. He shakes his head, lips pressed tight.
“It’s fine. Just let it out.” I groan. He bursts into laughter.
“You-hahaha, were hahahahaha, so scared of, haha, a teenie tiny spider!” He bends over, pounding on the table. I walk over to him and grab my cup of water.
“Well you can’t blame me. They’re spindly legs and-” I shiver. “Ugh.” Chen’s laughter has died down. Now he’s just gazing at me smiling.
“What?”
“You’re so cute.”
“…Huh?” Before I have time to process those words, he leans towards me and leaves a peck on my lips. I freeze, mid filling up my glass.
Several minutes later I’m pressing him against the wall, one hand behind his head yanking him towards me and the other around his waist. His arms circle my neck. We’re almost frantic, lips, teeth, and I sneak my tongue in. After several moments we part, panting.
“…Chen.”
“…what?” He looks up at me. His face is completely flushed. I feel my throat dry and I clear my throat.
“Ahem, so…are we together now?” I ask.
“You-just shut up and kiss me you dolt!” He replies, pulling me back towards him. I readily oblige.
They’re finally together! I’m so happy!
Chen: y-you dolt!
Ram: But I’m YOUR dolt
So cute
Thanks for the chapter € ^ *^)/// ~~ ♡♡♡♡♡