“Yes? H-huh, but…”
He was flustered. Only boss and the siblings Andy and Corbin knew about this incident. Boss declared that if the incident suggested the possibility of Sixx transforming into a monster at any time, he would control Sixx even more thoroughly, and Sixx demanded full cooperation from him. Andy and Corbin, while surprised that Sixx had killed someone in an instant, tried to defend Sixx by suggesting that he must have been pushed to the extreme. It was grateful for them to defend him, but the more they did, the more he felt the hatred towards himself intensify as he realized how much of a dangerous monster he was.
However, surprisingly, Malon’s reaction was completely different. He found it pleasing…
Perhaps because he was someone who committed countless crimes without batting an eye, did attacking someone in a fit of madness seem insignificant to him? Sixx blinked in surprise. It was a moment when he keenly felt that some violence to Malon, a member of La Cosa Nostra, seemed almost commonplace. Andy had been nagging him endlessly. They didn’t have any sense of common ethics or common sense. It was inevitable to deal with him, but they should not get closer than necessary…
“So, you were particularly sensitive whenever I called you to bed.”
“Ah, that, um… yes, I kept thinking about that time…”
“So, do you dislike sex, or do you dislike being embraced by a man? Which is it?”
At the explicit question, Sixx startled and squirmed. But Malon seemed to have no intention of avoiding the question and met Sixx’s embarrassed and perplexed gaze without reservation.
“I… I don’t know. Maybe… it’s both…”
At the hesitant answer, Malon hummed as if he were exploring something, and scrutinized Sixx’s face thoroughly. Sixx couldn’t bring himself to meet his gaze and turned his eyes away.
“It’s strange. Earlier, when I brought up sex, you didn’t seem so averse. Is it okay for you to watch others have sex? Or do you want to see how ‘I’ have sex?”
Sixx couldn’t understand why Malon kept putting him in awkward situations today. To cool his visibly heated face, Sixx pulled a cold blanket over and pressed it against his cheeks. He had never had this kind of conversation with anyone before. It was beyond disinterest; it was close to aversion. Even with Corbin, who he was most comfortable with, it was the same. However, he knew that most people enjoyed such conversations. Surely Malon did too… Corbin had repeatedly said that Sixx was an unusual case, but so far, there had been no way for him to feel it.
“Alright, let’s stop there. It seems like you’ll faint before I even hear your answer.”
Malon chuckled and flicked Sixx’s round nose lightly. But it hurt more than expected, and Sixx whimpered and clutched his nose, feeling like it would bleed any moment. Malon said, “Oops, my bad,” and glossed over the situation with words that showed no sincerity whatsoever. Of course, he knew there would never be an apology from him… Sixx pushed his lips out and muttered. It hurts… Instead, Malon gently patted his head.
“…Malon, can I ask a question too? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
“I don’t particularly enjoy being interrogated, but the fact that you’re asking piques my interest. Go ahead.”
“Why can’t you sleep? Did something happen?”
It was an unexpected question, causing Malon’s eyes to subtly widen. However, Sixx was genuinely curious about what could have kept him from sleeping. Malon was the most formidable person he had ever met. He held power and wealth that could make even the ringmaster of this circus bend his waist. What kind of event could prevent him from sleeping? Even though Malon seemed like someone who wouldn’t bat an eye even if a gun was pointed at his head, did he have weaknesses too? These questions mixed with doubts emerged as Sixx’s query. In truth, Sixx wanted to know more about him.
“…You ask all sorts of things. Do you perhaps not want to play the role of a pillow? It’s a shame, but I don’t see any signs of my insomnia improving yet. But that doesn’t mean I can call women over every day.”
“Oh no! I don’t mind. So, with women… that, you don’t have to do that…”
As Sixx vehemently denied, Malon, with a mocking smile, replied as if to say, “Sure, whatever,” while shaking his head. It seemed like he had no intention of explaining why he suffered from insomnia. In fact, he had only asked Sixx to inquire, and there had never been any promise of an answer, so it wasn’t surprising.
“Where are you spending the money I gave you?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“I’m not particularly fond of sweet things. But why didn’t you buy the clothes your friend Andy picked out?”
“Oh, those clothes were way over budget. If I had bought them, I wouldn’t have been able to do anything else that day. Although they were pretty, clothes eventually end up unwearable, right? I prefer desserts.”
“…How much were they?”
“Um… $15? Or was it $20?”
“Did you say you couldn’t afford them because you were short on money?”
Malon suddenly frowned. Sixx wondered if he had made a mistake, but seeing that Malon’s narrowed eyes weren’t directed at him, it seemed he wasn’t angry with Sixx. But he was still intimidating.
“Yes…”
“Haha, really. Are you getting money from the boss, Sixx?”
“Yes. I’ve never received this much pocket money before. I used to get just one coin, but now I’m getting ten at a time… It’s all thanks to Malon. Thank you.”
Even to Sixx’s expression of gratitude, Malon’s narrowed gaze didn’t return to its original state. Something seemed to continue to bother him. Sixx anxiously fidgeted his toes.
What could it be? He seemed fine until just a moment ago…
“Alright, I see. The clothes were expensive, right? And what else was expensive?”
After a moment, Malon’s voice, which had somewhat softened with reduced anger, sounded relatively calm. Sixx breathed a sigh of relief and replied.
“I don’t really remember anything else being expensive. I went to the general store with Andy, but there wasn’t anything I particularly wanted. Oh, the snow globe was pretty. I wanted to buy one for Andy. Oh, and…”
Sixx eagerly retrieved memories from that time. Beautiful memories sparkle like stars. Sixx didn’t often bring them out, like hiding treasures deep in his mind to keep them from losing their light. But Malon was different. He wanted to show him the memories he could hold in his hands thanks to him.
“I saw this portable transistor radio. It was a very pretty shade of green, barely bigger than my hand. I think I could carry it around. It was really, really expensive.”
“…I see. Well, it’s time to go.”
As suddenly as he arrived, he left. However, today, he lightly rested his hand on Sixx’s head before departing. Although it had only been a few seconds since his hand touched him, for some reason, Sixx felt extremely pleased, so he placed his hand where Malon’s had been.
***
The atmosphere in the circus was tense. Even dull Sixx could sense the members casting wary glances at each other. Sixx cautiously approached Corbin, who was having breakfast. Corbin didn’t look well either, and Sixx felt a bit sorry as he recalled the happy feeling of falling asleep after meeting Malon. He whispered softly, trying to keep his voice down.
“Corbin, is something wrong?”
“We got robbed, and of all people, it was Greta. The boss is furious. That damn bastard.”
Corbin grimaced. Judging by the name, Greta was probably one of the performers in Part 1, unlike Corbin or Sixx. Now Sixx understood why there was such tension circulating within the circus. The performers in Part 1 and Part 2 didn’t get along well. Politely put, they didn’t spit on each other behind their backs but outright cursed each other when passing by. And the conflict between the two groups was fueled by the boss’s discrimination. The boss openly favored the Part 1 performers. He treated them as humans, while he treated the Part 2 performers like beasts. Every performance, he introduced them to the audience as terrifying monsters, and gradually began to treat them more and more poorly offstage. He knew that most of them were socially isolated wanderers with nowhere else to go. Eventually, they were paid the lowest wages, barely enough for a meal every other day. The situation was the same at the Crater. Some Part 1 performers entered the Crater willingly, but they could refuse. However, Part 2 performers like Sixx were involuntarily thrown in.
While Sixx didn’t fully grasp the circus’s unfair conditions like others, he knew the boss favored the Part 1 performers more. Raised in the circus since childhood, he had convinced himself that he was a monster as the boss said, and the Part 1 performers were complete humans, inevitable realities. However, today’s events made even the mild-mannered Sixx feel somewhat bitter. There had been similar incidents before, and the first suspects were always the Part 2 performers. Although he only had suspicions, being the king of the circus, the boss could arbitrarily summon and search Part 2 performers like Sixx and rummage through their belongings. Of course, no one among the Part 2 performers welcomed such treatment. As tensions rose among the members, the stolen items were found near the circus grounds. Part 2 performers complained that they wouldn’t have hidden what they lost there and Part 1 performers argued that the thief, cornered, secretly discarded the stolen items there. Since a similar incident had occurred before, it was clear the boss would come to a similar conclusion this time. Sure enough, on the other side, Jonah put down his plate with an irritated expression. He was also a Part 2 performer and complained that he was interrogated by the boss for nothing.
“Fuck, I’m sick of this. What thief? Where could he have dropped it? The fact that the damn ringmaster has to deal with every little thing is just ridiculous, you know?”
Jonah complained, with Corbin chiming in to curse the boss. Sixx hoped desperately that the stolen items would be found soon. However, the problem that arose overnight wasn’t just that.
“Is Andy sick again?”
Corbin nodded, his visibly darkened face exuding a sense of despair. But this time, Sixx couldn’t readily comfort Corbin. He was worried that if Andy continued to feel unwell despite seeming better last time, there might be a bigger underlying issue.
“We might need to see a doctor.”
Sixx agreed with the suggestion. Money was a concern, but fortunately, this time, Sixx could help them too. He handed over all the remaining money from their last outing to Corbin. The next issue was getting permission from the boss, which was bound to be unpleasant as it was just a cold. However, Corbin declared that if the boss didn’t allow it, he would sneak away from the circus to go to the hospital. While Corbin went to talk to the boss, Sixx helped Andy prepare for the outing. He dressed her in a thick coat and wrapped a scarf securely around her neck. Her body felt like a furnace. Despite the excruciating pain she must have been in, Andy thanked Sixx instead of complaining, which made Sixx feel sorry for her and his eyes reddened.
Corbin returned to the tent, swaggering a bit. His expression didn’t look great, but fortunately, they were allowed to go to the hospital. After seeing the siblings off near the bus stop and returning, he accidentally bumped shoulders with someone. “Hey,” he muttered unpleasantly under his breath. The owner of the voice was Clay, who was in charge of the Part 2 opening performance. Oops, wrong person to bump into. Sixx quickly apologized, bowing his head. However, Clay didn’t seem satisfied and glanced at Sixx with a displeased expression.
“Can’t you watch where you’re going?”
“Sorry, I was distracted…”
“You seem to be in high spirits lately, spreading your legs. It might be better for your reputation not to hold your head up so high.”
Clay spat out his words and left. If Sixx hadn’t dodged quickly, he might have been splattered with saliva. It wasn’t a good situation. The circus was a gathering of people who were not good at controlling their temper, but Clay was particularly malicious among them. It was wise to avoid him. Although Sixx was relieved to be free from Clay, the words he left behind stabbed Sixx’s heart. Spreading your legs… So that’s what others think. He thought Malon had sex with him. Although it was a situation open to misunderstanding and he didn’t care much about what others thought of him, if bad rumors were spreading about Malon, he wanted to stop them.
Sigh
Sixx let out a deep sigh. He didn’t know. Before, he could predict how his day would go no matter which city he was in, but since coming to this city, he couldn’t predict how the day would unfold even when he opened his eyes in the morning. To exaggerate a bit, it felt like going back and forth between heaven and hell every day. There were too many events unfolding in front of little Sixx’s brain, and unfortunately, he didn’t have the ability to read any signals from there. Sometimes, while being tossed around like this, he would suddenly come to his senses and worry if everything had changed, if everyone was leaving him, and he wished that moment would come later. Sixx wanted to grab hold of time and slow it down, just a little bit more, just a little bit…
***
Malon called for Sixx. Unlike last time, he was pressing his forehead with a somewhat tired expression. Of course, this was more familiar to Sixx. He was glad that he might be able to help him today.
“Shall I turn into a wolf now?” When he asked this, surprisingly, Malon shook his head.
“Not right now.”
Instead of preparing for sleep as usual, Malon sat on the couch and flicked his fingers. It was a sign to come closer. As Sixx hurried over, Malon tapped his knees.
“Sit here.” Sixx blinked, wondering if he had misheard.
“What are you doing? I said sit.”
But it wasn’t like that. He really meant to sit on his knee! Sixx raised his head in desperation.
“Ma-Malon! I can’t possibly—”
“You can. I said so. Now, sit. That’s all I’m saying.”
Malon commanded in his usual authoritative manner, and Sixx ultimately had no choice but to obey. Carefully perching his bottom on Malon’s seemingly firm thigh, Sixx suddenly found himself fully bearing his weight on it as Malon lifted him up. Instructed to stay still, Sixx struggled with confusion. What should he do? His mind was buzzing with worries—was he too heavy? At least he had thoroughly washed himself earlier, so he shouldn’t smell bad. Would Malon feel uncomfortable if he showed any signs of discomfort? With these concerns swirling in his head, Sixx couldn’t even hold his head up properly. Although the situation wasn’t much different from when Malon had hugged him before, there was something about this distance and posture that felt overly intimate to Sixx. It seemed like Malon’s mature scent was wafting stronger than ever, making it difficult for Sixx to even take a deep breath. Malon watched with interest as Sixx, unable to do anything else, fidgeted and squirmed.
“What’s bothering you so much? Is my knee uncomfortable?”
“No, no, it’s not that…”
“It might not feel comfortable at first. Just bear with it for a moment.”
Leaving Sixx squirming with his feet dangling helplessly, Malon reached for something beside the sofa. As the paper bag rustled, Sixx instinctively perked up his ears.
“It’s yours.”
Taken aback, Sixx accepted it and realized what it was, jumping up.
“W-Wait, Malon. I, I can’t accept this…”
“It’s in place of what you haven’t received so far. It’s your rightful share, no need to refuse.”
“B-But, this is too much…”
It was confusing. Malon’s explanation of “it’s yours” and the item he received didn’t seem to match, making Sixx feel like his head was spinning. The thing placed on Sixx’s palm was the portable transistor radio that he had been eyeing in a shop in downtown Portland for a long time. It was the same beautiful green color he had seen. However, Sixx didn’t feel like he deserved to receive such a thing. Some members occasionally received gifts from generous guests, but Sixx had never done anything like that. He hadn’t even given himself up or made Malon happy. However, Malon didn’t seem to be in a mood to accept any refusal. He spoke firmly.
“I won’t accept refusal. There’s more in the bag besides that, take it when you leave.”
“Malon, can I ask why? I don’t think I’ve done anything to deserve this…”
“Why? I already told you. You haven’t received enough compensation. Since the boss isn’t properly rewarding you, I decided to compensate you directly instead of going through him. Sixx, did you seriously think the price of spending time with me was just a few coins?”
“I thought that was enough—”
“In my eyes, it’s not.”
With Malon speaking like that, Sixx couldn’t say anything. Externally, it was known that Sixx had spent the night with him, so if there were rumors circulating that Sixx hadn’t been properly compensated, it could damage Malon’s pride. Even so, this was too much… Sixx knew how much he would have to pay to have this one radio. It was an unimaginable amount for Sixx. Maybe it wasn’t a big deal for Malon, but it was still overwhelming.
I wonder if Sixx will be around this circus for long.
Bastard ringmaster is making bank exploiting his workers. 🤮 Hope he dies a miserable and agonizing death! Thanks for the chapters!
Thank you for the translation! I really like this book so far and look forward to the rest of it. ❤️
Sixx is such a cute patotie, die ringmaster die
Thank you! Like the story so far.