Translator- 7qqy
Editor- NaoNazo
Chapter 42
Su Jingyan felt that his brain was very swollen and he was feeling dizzy. He was like a small boat floating on the sea, bouncing up and down, and his head was hurting extremely.
He was in a half-asleep and half-awake state, but strangely, he clearly knew that he was dreaming.
A very deep, very long, but very real dream…
This dream was very strange, so strange that from the moment Su Jingyan entered this dream, his brain was stimulated, and he could clearly tell that he was in a dream without any sense of substitution…
And in this dream…
He saw another version of himself.
To be precise, he saw countless versions of himself…
He was like an outsider, observing the daily life of another self from a God’s perspective.
Of course, these “Su Jingyan” did not appear at the same time.
But after he finished observing “Su Jingyan No. 1”, the dream automatically brought him to observe “Su Jingyan No. 2”, and so on…
Each of them has a face exactly like his, and each of them was named “Su Jingyan.”
Su Jingyan was surprised to find that every “Su Jingyan” he observed lived a very similar life to himself. It was like a parallel world, with countless “Su Jingyans” experiencing similar but different lives, like an overlapping image.
He was almost molested by a man in a trench coat, and met “Lu Yichen” who kindly rescued him, as well as the boy in class who gave him dark chocolate and the plastic surgeon who had evil intentions against him…
All “Su Jingyans” have experienced these things.
But he found some differences in these details, because he found that except for himself, every other “Su Jingyan” had similar stress reactions when encountering these things, and they all made almost the same choices. Confirming that they are all carved from the same mold.
None of these “Su Jingyans” could be him!
Su Jingyan looked at all this and couldn’t help but shake his head.
When he was watching, he didn’t even have the slightest sense of involvement.
Although the development of his story in reality was very similar to the experience of each “Su Jingyan” in the dream, even the living habits and behavior of these “Su Jingyans” were similar to his own.
But to be honest, simply judging from the fact that he would never accept the dark chocolate handed to him by a stranger, all the “Su Jingyans” in the dream could not be him.
When he observed each “Su Jingyan”, he could feel that these “Su Jingyans” reflected his own shadow in some aspects.
It was as if these “Su Jingyans” were created based on himself.
As soon as this bold idea appeared in his mind, Su Jingyan was so shocked that his whole body felt a chill in his heart and his back, and he felt an indescribable strange feeling.
What was even scarier was…
In these dreams, the ending of each “Su Jingyan” was exactly the same…
It made him shudder throughout the whole process of watching it, and even made his hair stand on end.
“Su Jingyan” in the dream…
At the end of the dream, without exception, they were killed…
Every time “Su Jingyan” was killed, Su Jingyan tried his best to see the face of the person who killed “him”.
But his body, which was originally free to observe and move around at will, whenever it reaches this juncture, it felt like someone had trapped his hands and feet. No matter how he moved, it was all in vain.
No matter how much he tried to struggle, he could only stare from the side, watching helplessly one “Su Jingyan” after another die in front of his eyes.
This was an extremely horrific scene.
Can you bear to have someone with the same face as you die in front of you over and over again?
Can you remain emotionless?
No! Impossible!
Su Jingyan’s mood next to him was like a roller coaster. At first, he was confused, surprised, confused, and even frightened, but it turned into a deeper feeling of suffocation and despair.
He didn’t know how long he had been in this dream, and he didn’t know how old the “Su Jingyan” who died in front of him was.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Su Jingyan’s face was numb, and his heart was almost broken.
The pair of doe eyes that should have been shining slowly dimmed due to the scene after scene that happened.
Although deep down in his heart, he firmly believed that these “Su Jingyans” in front of him were not the real him.
But this does not mean that when he saw “Su Jingyan and the others” being murdered, he could remain indifferent throughout the whole process, or even have no fluctuations in his heart.
Because you have to know that even at this moment, if Su Jingyan saw a passerby who had nothing to do with him being murdered in front of his eyes, he would still feel that suffocation and despair.
It was the same for anyone.
It was true that it was impossible for people to truly empathize with each other, but it was precisely because people are human, they have their own consciousness, their own thoughts, and a brain that was different from other creatures and can think independently, so people can have a compassionate heart and be able to personally feel the despair of others and express our deep apologies.
Su Jingyan heard the death countdown coming from the wall and was so angry that he trembled all over.
He was not a Saint. He will also think that those who have sinned unforgivably deserve to die.
But for the “Su Jingyan” in front of him, he knew that this person was just an ordinary person like him, living an ordinary life.
So he simply couldn’t accept the fact that this man was about to be killed.
Da da da. The Roman clock hanging on the wall was still spinning little by little, making a sound as loud as a mosquito, which was like a call from the depths of hell.
Su Jingyan clenched his teeth subconsciously.
In another two minutes, oh no, maybe only a minute and a half, someone will knock on the door. When the “Su Jingyan” sitting on the sofa in front of him hears the sound, he will put down his fruit plate, unprepared, and go and open the door.
Before every “Su Jingyan” opens the door, he uses the cat eye to see who was outside the door.
But after looking, every “Su Jingyan” still opened the door without hesitation.
And his God’s perspective was limited from this moment on. Su Jingyan could only judge from the back that the person knocking on the door was a male.
No matter how he distinguished the man’s facial features and figure, he did indeed see the man’s face.
Nose, eyes, mouth…
But for some reason, even if he could see these clearly, he couldn’t piece together the man’s facial features. It was as if there was no image in his mind, and the man’s face was as if it was covered by a piece of cloth.
Su Jingyan couldn’t get any more information.
His brain was still in a trance.
With a “ding dong” sound, the doorbell of the room also rang.
Su Jingyan’s heart skipped a beat and sank suddenly.
That person is here again…
“Su Jingyan” heard the sound of the doorbell and his eyelashes trembled up and down.
Just like every “Su Jingyan” before, he made the same action, slowly put down the fruit plate in his hand, raised his eyes and glanced at the door, then sat up and walked slowly over.
The angles in which “Su Jingyans” raised their eyes and the movements they made seemed to have been precisely designed. They were all exactly the same.
It was at this moment that Su Jingyan finally figured out the reason why he didn’t feel the slightest sense of involvement when he saw what “Su Jingyan” did…
Because these “Su Jingyans” seemed to have no soul!
It was like a walking zombie, with no light in its eyes, and the expressions and angles on its face are as if they have been carefully designed by someone, making it look very hypocritical…
As soon as this idea appeared, Su Jingyan’s expression immediately changed, and his mentality also changed accordingly. The way he looked at “Su Jingyan” no longer seemed to be looking at a person, but more with a sense of scrutiny. Even the feelings just now disappeared together.
The “Su Jingyan” in front of him…
Was he really human?
Or are these all copies of himself?
Su Jingyan continued to observe every move of “Su Jingyan” nervously, watching him make every move.
At this moment, “Su Jingyan” had already reached the door. Like every “Su Jingyan” before, this “Su Jingyan” put his eyes against the cat’s eye and looked out the door. He paused for two seconds and revealed a smile that didn’t reach his eyes at all.
“Su Jingyan” opened the door suddenly, smiling openly, his little doe eyes also curved, and he reached out to touch his own hair.
All the little details of the design were exactly the same…
Su Jingyan continued to observe nervously, swallowed involuntarily, and his eyes widened even more.
If nothing else happened, from this second on, he would not be able to clearly see the scene in front of him, or even hear the characters’ dialogue.
Just as Su Jingyan was thinking this, “Su Jingyan” in front of him used his face to raise a somewhat false smile, and then loudly shouted the name of the visitor, “Lu Yichen!”
When Su Jingyan heard these two words, Su Jingyan’s heart immediately skipped a beat and sank suddenly. His eyelashes also trembled. He was dumbfounded and his body couldn’t stop it for some unknown reason. He began to tremble, and his heartbeat accelerated rapidly.
What? What? What?
Lu Yichen? Lu Yichen?!
Su Jingyan’s whole body seemed to be stimulated and was shaken in place.
The man walked in from the door with an expressionless expression, his expression was numb, without even the slightest emotion, and his movements were as stiff as a machine, as if he was doing a routine task.
The moment he entered the door, he closed the door as he did every time before.
It was at the moment when the man entered the door that Su Jingyan could see his face clearly!
This time…
What he saw was no longer hazy and illusory facial features, but in a real sense, he could clearly see the man’s figure and face.
At this moment, Su Jingyan felt that his breathing was about to stop, and he forgot to blink his eyes. As if he had been greatly stimulated, his hands and feet felt cold, as if he had fallen into an ice cellar.
The nerves in his brain felt as if someone had pricked them with needles, causing pain all over his body.
What is happening?
“Lu Yichen”, as before, was trying to conjure a knife out of thin air from behind, but suddenly stopped, and his eyes that were so dull that he couldn’t focus slowly began to gain luster.
His entire aura had undergone a huge change!
Therefore, Su Jingyan was surprised to find that this time, the man did not cut off “Su Jingyan” in front of him as soon as he entered the door, as he had done several times before. Instead, he hesitated for a moment with a somewhat scrutinizing gaze, and carefully considered.
“Su Jingyan” also froze in place because of his unusual way of playing cards this time, as if a machine had malfunctioned and was unable to react accordingly.
Lu Yichen said nothing and turned his gaze back to “Su Jingyan”, his eyes flashing slightly.
When he saw this face, he felt a sense of astonishing surprise and uncontrollable joy.
It can be said that he couldn’t control himself as soon as he saw this face.
But…
Lu Yichen stared at “Su Jingyan’s” face, frowning. Looking at his expression and the upward curve of the corners of his mouth, he felt even more strange.
Something’s wrong, something’s wrong!
It shouldn’t go like this!
Lu Yichen looked at “Su Jingyan” as if he was looking at another person through him, and his eyes flickered and changed in an obscure way. Hidden in his eyes were emotions that were incomprehensible.
What went wrong?
What happened? This is too strange!
Lu Yichen felt as if he had suddenly woken up from a dream, feeling repelled by everything around him. He felt that it was very unreal.
Suddenly, his eyes that were scanning around the room suddenly stopped, and his eyes were locked in a certain direction in the room. Without thinking, his pupils suddenly shrank, his eyes were hot and paranoid, as if he had seen something.
Su Jingyan also paused because of the man’s sudden look in his eyes, and his heartbeat suddenly stopped, skipping a beat. It was as if he was separated from the sky, and his eyes were filled with affection, and they lasted for thousands of years…
Lu Yichen…
Does he see me?
Su Jingyan blinked.
The man seemed to be sure of something, his expression changed, and he rushed in the direction of Su Jingyan, with a bit of ecstasy and morbidity in his eyes.
But before the man’s hand really touched Su Jingyan’s skin, Su Jingyan felt a powerful force that sucked him all in, making him slowly fall into a deeper vortex again, and his brain also began to lose consciousness again, and he fainted, as if it was taking him into a deeper dream…
Before he fainted, he clearly saw the man’s eyes changing from ecstasy to deeper despair and unthinking pain.
Su Jingyan suddenly woke up from the bed, panting heavily and staring, still not recovering.
His eyes instantly met another pair of eyes in the darkness, which frightened Su Jingyan to the point where his heart tightened again.
Lu Yichen noticed something strange about Su Jingyan. He was standing beside the bed and slowly sat down. He didn’t know what emotions were hidden in his eyes, and said hoarsely, “Are you awake? Did you sleep well?”
Su Jingyan didn’t think the Lu Yichen in front of him was scary, nor did he think he was like the devil in his dream.
Even the moment he saw Lu Yichen, he felt an indescribable sadness.
“Yichen.” Su Jingyan shouted weakly while lying on the bed.
When the man heard these two words, his mood obviously changed slightly. He leaned down and rested his head on Su Jingyan’s shoulder, but he did not release all his weight.
“I’m here,” the man replied.
“I just had a nightmare.” Su Jingyan’s eyes were still water-stained, and his mood was still slightly fluctuating.
The man asked patiently, “What dream?”
“I dreamed about myself.” Su Jingyan paused, a little dazed, “I dreamed about many, many selves.”
When the man heard this sentence, his fingers involuntarily clenched into a fist, and the emotion in his eyes became darker.
“But they are all dead.” Su Jingyan continued, and when he said this, his mood became a little depressed.
“But I don’t know why,” Su Jingyan paused again, with a bit of confusion and consideration in his eyes, “I don’t think those people in the dream are myself. When I see them, I feel like I’m watching as a stranger, I can’t describe that feeling.”
Lu Yichen’s clenched fists relaxed because of his words, his eyes flashed with light, and he comforted softly, “It’s just a dream. You just need to know that there is always only one you in this world.”
Be it past, present or future.
What I want was and will always be only you.
Su Jingyan shook his head. What he cared about was not these, but Lu Yichen in the dream.
He raised his head and looked at the man with complicated emotions. His voice was soft, but his brain was extremely clear, “I also saw you in my dream.”
Lu Yichen’s expression changed slightly and he said nothing.
After Su Jingyan woke up, he finally realized the strangeness of his dream.
He suddenly realized that in his dream, except for the Lu Yichen who appeared at the end of his dream.
When he was observing the “Su Jingyans”, the other “Lu Yichen” who appeared also looked very rigid, just like he felt when he looked at the “Su Jingyans”, he just felt that the other person looked like he had no soul, nothing more than a walking corpse.
Not to mention that when he sees Lu Yichen in front of him, his heart will be moved ten thousand times with just one glance…
Therefore, those “Lu Yichen” in his dream could not be the Lu Yichen in front of him…
Lu Yichen slowly sat back on the bed and looked at Su Jingyan quietly. His voice sounded ordinary, but there seemed to be some emotion hidden in it. His voice was hoarse and low, “You just need to remember, the Lu Yichen in front of you is the real Lu Yichen, and you are the real Su Jingyan, that’s enough!”
The fakes pretending to be you, no matter how similar it is, cannot be you.
In heaven and on earth, you are the only real Su Jingyan.
The real Lu Yichen will only fall in love with the real Su Jingyan.
After the demon woke up, in order to find his true lover, he spent half a year deciphering the secrets of the world, letting time go back and restart over and over again.
In the end, the demon who went back countless times finally found himself, his eternal lover.
The author has something to say: This chapter may be a bit convoluted, so I will explain it in the text, I am afraid that everyone will not understand it.
Because everyone knows that I have set the setting in the whole text. Yan Yan and Yichen in each world are not the original “Su Jingyan” and “Lu Yichen”. This involves the setting of the whole text, and there is no way to elaborate on it.
This means that whether it is the first world, the second world, or the current world, Yanyan and Yichen entered temporarily, rather than saying that it was them at the beginning of the story.
In this world, the time when Yichen wakes up is the time when he starts to doubt the world after entering the door. Before that, everything was not him. But the moment he woke up, he discovered the real Su Jingyan in the room, but at that moment, Su Jingyan also disappeared in front of his eyes.
Only one false corpse was left, the false “Su Jingyan.”
So in order to find the real Su Jingyan, he kept going back in time so that he could go back to the time when he entered the door.
This is why Zhao Hongyang always looks back at that point in time.
But Lu Yichen tried hard countless times and retraced his steps countless times, but in the end it was all in vain because he never saw the shadow of Su Jingyan again.
Until this time, time went back again, and he waited for the real Su Jingyan.
How do authors come up with this stuff? I like these types of novels the most!
That is so incredibly romantic holy sh i t