Underwear, lotion, toothbrush, toothpaste. There were three pairs of socks, but now I see that one pair is mismatched.
A pencil and a book, for some unknown reason, also found their way into my hands. Unopened first aid boxes were rolling around at the bottom of the bag. The bag I hastily packed while he waited for me outside with the car in plain sight looked haphazard, like the belongings of an evacuee.
I closed the bag zipper again and pushed it aside, leaning my head between the driver’s seat and the passenger seat. Elbows on each armrest, I fixed my gaze on the front windshield. It was a Sunday with few cars in the parking lot at the office, so vehicles and columns were sporadically scattered to the far end of the parking lot.
Thus, from the door leading from the elevator lobby to here, I could observe Han Team Leader walking this way. The smell of air freshener was particularly strong today.
“What are you doing in the back seat?” He asked after opening the car door. The faint scent of the parking lot, mixed with smoke, wafted into the car. Distracted by the sight of the face that had now come close, I missed the rhythm to respond.
“Empty the front seat and sit there?”
“No, because of the bag…”
I raised the duffel bag emitting a plastic smell to show him. He looked at me with a gaze that seemed to say, ‘What’s that?’
“I think I forgot to pack some stuff, so I probably have to go back home.”
“No, you can’t.”
The response was so quick and calm that it took me a moment to understand. While I blinked, Han Team Leader got into the driver’s seat and closed the car door. Starting the engine, he said,
“Come to the front.”
“If you go in first, I’ll take the subway home and go directly to your place after picking up my bag. It won’t take long-.”
“I already said no.”
Through the rearview mirror, his eyes were on me. It wasn’t even something I asked him to do, so I couldn’t understand why he was refusing. I kept my mouth shut.
He got off the car leaving the bag and got into the front seat. As the car door closed, he took off his coat and threw it onto the back seat, then started the car.
It was a little past eight o’clock. It was a crossroad in front of the company that I see every day, but perhaps because I was used to the fluorescent lights all day, the passing streetlamp lights looked unfamiliar and yellowish. Reaching out, I adjusted the heater temperature, and Han Team Leader who did this, spoke.
“You should eat something for lunch. Is there anything you want to eat?”
“Ah…”
“We can stop by on the way, or you can buy and bring anything. Just take a look.”
Strangely, my mouth had been dry since earlier. He didn’t say anything, didn’t take any action. He was just sitting next to me, yet my heart was pounding uncomfortably. I thought the space itself, designed with the driver’s seat and the passenger seat closely attached without a partition, in this small car was abnormal. In this distance, even small sounds would be audible, and small movements would be visible. From my seat, I could see even the fine grid pattern engraved on his cufflinks.
Taking his hands off the steering wheel, he suddenly grabbed my wrist. As if gauging the slightly trembling fingertips, he swept his hand over them and then laughed as if finding it absurd.
“Why are you like this?”
“…How about sushi?”
Of all things, that was the only thing that came to mind. I blurted it out and surprised myself, hastily adding explanations.
“Not something from the hotel, anything… it doesn’t have to be sushi… Team Leader, what would you like to eat?”
“Sushi is fine.”
Fortunately, he didn’t ask further. I hid my released wrist on the other side of my right thigh. His neat and slender fingers, now back on the steering wheel, casually turned on the turn signal. The car smoothly merged into the adjacent lane.
“There’s a good sushi place, but it might be a bit crowded to eat inside. Is it okay if we buy it and eat at home?”
“Yes, that’s fine… I’m okay with that too…”
Frustrated by my tongue not obeying, I gave up speaking and sealed my lips tightly, as if closing them with a zipper. I turned my head away from him, looking out the window. The air outside was misty, making it difficult to see.
Not long after, he parked the car under the streetlamp in the narrow alley and turned off the engine. As I was about to unfasten my seatbelt, he reached out and lightly restrained me.
“Stay here, I’ll be back.”
“…Okay.”
I pressed my half-aware body back against the backrest. His figure crossing the street remained neat without any disturbance. A black shadow, as if outlined along his contours, stretched long behind him. The shadow disappeared as he opened and entered the door.
Through the cracked seams of the visible sidewalk, weeds were sprouting. As he got out of the car, the air, once stifled inside, seemed to escape, and I could breathe more comfortably.
I watched him enter the door. Thinking it was taking a long time, I lowered my eyes and fidgeted with the bag strap on my knee. The light leaking through the car window tint turned everything inside into a faded orange. I suddenly lifted my orange-stained hand and traced my fingertips over the misty window, creating circles and slowly drawing a curve below, ending with a face where the corners of the mouth were sagging.
When Team Leader returned to the car, he handed me a box wrapped in a white plastic bag and fastened his seatbelt. As I placed the heavy item on my lap, he started the engine. His gaze, still directed towards the side for maneuvering the car out of the narrow parking space, paused.
“What’s this?”
“…Yes?”
Turning my gaze, I noticed the doodle I had done, vivid thanks to the light. I felt embarrassed by his frozen expression. He shifted gears back into parking, turned towards me, and asked.
“Is this how you express your feelings, Lee Seodan?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Rb, la’r cba ilxf atja…”
“Tbe vgjk rbwfatlcu ilxf atja bc ws mjg klcvbk, vfwjcvlcu jc fzqijcjalbc atgbeut j qgbafra yfmjerf sbe mjc’a bqfcis rjs sbe vbc’a kjca ab yf vgjuufv ab ws tberf?”
“Kfjw Ofjvfg…”
Qlatbea lcafcvlcu remt vffq wfjclcu, P kjr rlifcmfv ys tlr rmgealclhlcu ujhf. P nlubgberis rtbbx ws tfjv, fzqgfrrlcu ws gfoerji. Qtfatfg ws fzqgfrrlbc kjr mbcnlcmlcu bg cba, Ljc Kfjw Ofjvfg aegcfv tlr tfjv klat j rilutais rboafcfv ojmf jcv rjlv jygeqais.
“Fix it.”
“Yes?”
“If it’s not that, fix your face.”
I lifted my hand for a moment, but when I looked at the window, I felt at a loss. As he started the engine and drove off, my fingertips hesitated vaguely over the glass. How to transform the downturned corners into a smiling face. Unable to do anything else, I added a curve that went up on both sides of the mouth. The face became neither smiling nor crying but a ridiculous expression.
I lowered my hand half-reluctantly and looked at him. He had given me a brief glance while driving, and seeing him silent indicated that things were somewhat acceptable.
***
As we walked through the entrance, Han Team Leader took off his shoes first. My bag, momentarily left aside, was moved by his hands. After gripping the handle a few times and gauging the weight, he spoke.
“Write down what you need separately. I’ll buy it for you.”
“Okay.”
“Come over here. Leave the food there.”
With my backpack and a bag of clothes, I followed him calmly. The room he opened seemed to be a small room used as a closet. It was about the size of a guest room, with no bed or furniture, only clothes hangers and a chest of drawers. Although there weren’t too many clothes to fill the room, the reason for having a separate room seemed to be that the wardrobe attached to his bedroom couldn’t fulfill its role as a closet.
He put down my bag and turned on the light switch. As the room brightened, shirts arranged by color caught my eye. Han Team Leader moved a few empty hangers to one side and pushed the existing clothes to the other.
“You can use this clothes hanger. I’ll clear out two drawers on that side, so organize your underwear and socks. If you have things to store, put them away.”
“Yes.”
He took off his coat and hung it on the clothes hanger, reaching out his hand. Without thinking, I handed him my coat, and he hung it meticulously on the designated hanger, ensuring it didn’t wrinkle.
“Deal with organizing your bag later; for now, come out and have some food.”
“…Yes.”
Bent over to open the bag, I quickly followed him out before he turned off the lights. Pointing to the door next to us, he said,
“This side is the bathroom, as you saw last time. Next to it is the study. There’s another bathroom upstairs, so use the one that’s more convenient for you. The toothbrush you used last time, Lee Seodan, is still in the upstairs bathroom. Use the kitchen if you need it. Any other questions?”
“None.”
I hesitated and glanced at him with a somewhat awkward smile. While driving, he had given me a brief look, and seeing him remain silent now indicated that things were more or less acceptable.
***
Since I had never seen the study before, I was curious, but he didn’t open the door. Instead, he pulled me back into the living room. As I tried to sit on the sofa, Han Team Leader grabbed my wrist, gently stood me next to him, and said softly,
“Let’s start by changing your clothes.”
“…Yes?”
Since I had taken off my outerwear, I was wearing a standard shirt and pants. When I raised my head, wondering if he meant for me to change into comfortable clothes, he casually spoke.
“I don’t think there’s a need for Lee Seodan to dress up in my house from now on, don’t you agree?”
As soon as I understood, my body stiffened. The nerves that had relaxed tightened again.
Han Team Leader sat on the sofa, lazily lifted his legs, and crossed them. Looking at me, he added cheerfully,
“Don’t be hesitant; just take it off. Let’s have some food.”
“….”
With numb fingers, I unbuttoned my shirt. I barely managed to undo the shirt and the pants buckle. As the pants slid down, brushing against the inside of my thigh and flowing down to my ankles, his gaze lingered casually over the exposed underwear.
I was aware of it, but everything was pitch black in front of my eyes. This was neither a bedroom nor a living room. What situation is it to not even be allowed to change clothes in someone’s house? I was merely waiting to offer my body whenever he needed it. Just thinking about it made my lips tremble.
Without realizing what I was doing, I took off my underwear. In the well-lit living room, I stood in front of him, barely covering the front of me with both hands. He glanced down and asked,
“Are you cold?”
“…A little….”
My mind was a mess. Han Team Leader narrowed his eyes, then stood up, passing by me. I heard the sound of the door opening. Tilting my head slightly, I saw him coming out of the room with something white in his hands. I caught what flew towards me with both hands.
“Put it on. Let’s agree that when you’re in the house, either wear that or nothing at all.”
I thought it was my clothes, but it wasn’t. When I unfolded it, it was his shirt. Even at a glance, it seemed spacious, and when I put my head in, it looked like a child wearing an adult’s clothes. Had our body sizes really differed this much? The sleeves were long enough to cover my hands, and the hem barely reached the middle of my thighs.
Still, it was better than having nothing. I grasped the long sleeves with my fingertips and hesitantly looked down. The familiar scent of fabric softener reached me, and my heart raced up to my ears.
“Lee Seodan, you have pretty legs.”
“…”
“Why don’t you take a spin there?”
He, observing my thighs under the white shirt while I stood there, muttered like a perverted boss. I couldn’t respond, and my cheeks burned. He faintly smiled, keeping his gaze on me and opened the bag on the table. He took out a long box of sushi and split the wooden chopsticks in half.
“Come here.”
He elegantly picked up a piece of sushi with the clean chopsticks. Lifting it and gesturing to me, he said, “Sit here; I’ll give you rice.”
“Uh…”
I let out a sigh. I tentatively knelt between his spread thighs, the rug beneath me softly brushing against my bottom. As he sat on the sofa and I on the floor, the difference in eye level became apparent. When I looked up, the chopsticks holding the sushi came down swiftly from above.
Mechanically, I opened my mouth. The sushi landed smoothly on my tongue. As I closed my mouth, the chopsticks slipped out, scraping the inside of my lips ever so slightly.
“Is it delicious?”
While watching my face, he asked. I nodded as I mindlessly chewed the fish. He adjusted his posture, narrowing the gap between his thighs slightly. His pants brushed against my arms like a light touch.
“Finished?”
“…Yes.”
While eating, my mind was blank, but after swallowing, hunger hit me belatedly. He turned the box on my knee, showing it to me, and asked,
“What should I give you next? Egg? Shrimp?”
I nodded belatedly at the shrimp suggestion. He tilted the chopsticks and picked up a piece of sushi, dipping it into the soy sauce. With a flick, he smoothly delivered it to my mouth between his legs. Reflexively, I opened my mouth to accept it. He watched me eat and then lightly stroked my head as if tousling my hair.
“…Team leader.” I regained my composure after eating three or four pieces. Turning my head to avoid the approaching chopsticks, I spoke up.
“Can I… eat on my own?”
“If you’re thirsty, would you drink water? Or maybe green tea?”
“It seems like you, too, can’t eat properly because of me…”
Inside the plastic bag, there were leftover wooden chopsticks. Ignoring my attempt to speak, Han Team Leader lightly tapped my lips, which were still slightly open from chewing the sushi. As I opened my mouth to finish my sentence, a plump piece of fish slid into my mouth. I glanced up, looked at his face, and obediently opened my mouth.
While I chewed, he reached out and tidied up my disheveled bangs. His fingers, gently caressing and occasionally scratching my scalp, felt warm. My knees hurt, so I sat with my legs spread to the side. I looked up, but he remained silent.
When my stomach felt full, I shook my head, and without urging, he withdrew the chopsticks. While he tidied up the sparsely filled box, I asked suddenly.
“Have you ever raised a dog, Team Leader?”
“No, I haven’t. I don’t like animals.”
Closing the box, he pushed the soy sauce dish toward the table. Leaning forward, I moved backward. The rigid edge of the table touched my back.
“Do you want coffee?”
“No, it’s okay.”
“Then wait here; I’ll be out after washing up.”
“Oh, I need to… wash too.”
I omitted the latter part of my sentence, but Han Team Leader, who was heading toward the bathroom, turned to me.
“Just wipe here; I’ll take care of the rest.”
“Yes? Well, then…”
He closed the bathroom door. I stood still, feeling restless, and as soon as I heard the sound of water, I hurriedly ran upstairs. Before entering the bathroom, I took off his shirt and spread it on the bed. Above the sink, our toothbrushes were crossed in an X shape on the round holder.
I simply washed up with hot water. When I went downstairs, I found Team Leader already sitting on the sofa. I paused midway on the stairs. I wondered what was different from usual, and then I noticed a wide glass covered by curtains. Next to the table was a silver bucket that I couldn’t see from where I was.
“Come over here.”
He said, looking at his phone. I recalled the bag filled with medications and glanced at the closet door before slowly approaching the sofa.
“I brought the medicine, but…”
“Stay still. It’s okay.”
I couldn’t figure out what was okay. Putting down his phone, Han Team Leader stood up, put on his shirt, and silently looked at me, who was standing still. Then he brought the bucket and took out thin white latex gloves. He skillfully put his fingers in and pulled the neck down tightly. The rubber made a squeaky sound. Watching dumbfoundedly, I vaguely thought about a dentist.
When he took out a large syringe with the gloves on, it took me a while to understand the situation.
“…Team Leader.”
“It seems a bit early to cry.”
He said indifferently, looking at my face. My mind was blank, and I took a few hesitant steps backward.
“Don’t run away.”
He said without looking up. He emptied the remaining contents of the bucket, tore open a plastic packet, and poured a powdery substance into it. I gazed at the bucket, feeling breathless. Even when he took out a big syringe and started injecting the liquid, it took me a while to comprehend the situation.
“Team Leader.”
I called out with a shaky voice, and he casually responded while gauging the liquid in the syringe.
“Isn’t it too early to give up?”
“…”
“Yesterday, didn’t you say you could endure anything if you were by my side? Did I mishear?”
Swish, the syringe was filled with the hazy liquid. He began to approach me, and even though I knew he wouldn’t look, my mouth opened involuntarily.
“Not here… If we do it in the bathroom, or maybe over there…”
Even when I was alone at home, I firmly locked the narrow bathroom door before doing this. Watching him with a syringe in this open space made it feel like an unreal nightmare. On this side where the rug was laid, a little further towards the dining table, there was a wooden floor. Trembling, I pointed with my shaky hand, but Han Team Leader didn’t look at me. He put the syringe down next to me, opened a round container, and covered his gloved fingers with white cream.
“Lie down and lift your buttocks. Let me see the back clearly.”
I suppressed my rising breath. Closing my eyes, I did as he said, lying down with my buttocks raised. He spread my buttocks, leaving the white shirt to flow down my back. The cream-covered fingers slid over the puckered anus in the center. The latex felt so unfamiliar and unpleasant that it sent shivers down my spine.
Breath scattered on the floor. The trembling of my thighs must have been visible to him. While I clutched the rug tightly, he nonchalantly smeared cream over the entrance, skillfully inserting his fingers and swirling them inside.
“Don’t exert too much force. You might get hurt.”
He put down the container and picked up the syringe at the edge of my vision. I felt a lump in my throat from fear. When he started applying cream to the pointed part of the syringe, I remembered a dentist’s office. His eyes, applying cream to the tip of the syringe, had a familiar glint.
“But you’re still a beginner.”
“Uh-uh, uh-huh!”
“I won’t put in a lot from the beginning. Do you want everything to spill out?”
The pointed end opened the entrance. After inserting the nozzle and slowly pressing the syringe, a cold liquid poured in. Although I was gritting my teeth, my mouth involuntarily opened. As I struggled to somehow lift my buttocks, thinking about the rug, Team Leader slowly pressed the syringe. The liquid inside surged and rose.
“Ah, huh, ah….”
He lightly touched the junction with his fingertips. Irresistibly, I closed my mouth as he inserted the sharp tip of the syringe inside, and forcefully pressed down the remaining part of the syringe. My insides were flooded with liquid as if a dam had burst. While barely breathing, he pulled out the syringe. The tingling sensation at the exit was painful. I somehow managed to use force and closed the back.
In the meantime, he dipped the syringe tip into the bucket, sucking up the liquid again. Wide-eyed, I stared as Han Team Leader, holding a full syringe, stood up and casually said, “Why do you look like you’re about to die? I’ve only put in half now.”
Here, if more is injected, I felt like I would really die. Hearing those words, darkness enveloped my vision. Tears that had been held back stung my eyes. After closing, something hard hit me again and pierced inside.
“Uh, ugh, huh….”
It felt like my stomach would swell round. It seemed like water inside was boiling and constantly trying to burst out. More than anything else, that was terrifying, so I stopped breathing. Han Team Leader continued to inject liquid until I felt like I would really die if he added more, then cleanly pulled out the syringe.
I looked up at him with buttocks raised, oblivious to my embarrassment.
“Team Leader, I really…”
“I’ll time fifteen minutes.”
Team Leader, who had thrown the syringe into the bucket, glanced at the clock and said. At his words, my eyelids grew hot. I felt like I couldn’t hold on for another minute. My thighs and buttocks ached and itched from the effort. Liquid would spill out of the gaping hole at any moment, staining his rug.
Watching my pathetic state, he sat on the sofa and casually said, “Come here and suck. If you do well, I’ll shorten the time.”
“Uh-uh, huh, uh….”
The words sounded merciful, but the content wasn’t. With no other choice, I crawled while lifting my buttocks. Horrible embarrassment overwhelmed me as I wobbled under his indifferent gaze. With great effort, I found my place between his open legs and pulled out his genitals. The vein-laden, swollen pillar was only halfway erect now.
I opened my mouth wide and sucked on his glans recklessly. A sour flesh smell filled my mouth. There was a squishy sound. He rubbed against my head with his genitals. He toyed with the raised buttocks, deliberately lightly tapping and passing over the slightly puffy entrance with his fingertips.
When I tensed up from the rocking inside, it was as painful as if all the pores in my body were opening. I really couldn’t endure it. Unable to speak, tears streamed down my face as I looked up at him. He withdrew his genitals completely from between my lips. There was a wet sound. The rounded glans sluggishly brushed against my cheek.
“Open your throat. I’ll help, so open up.”
“Uh, uh… Ah, uh-.”
I opened my mouth wide. Nevertheless, the penis that was pushed inside like a wedge tore apart one side of my lips. Han Team Leader clenched his teeth and forcefully inserted the erect penis into my throat all at once. As my stomach churned, the liquid inside boiled even more. He grabbed my hand, flailing in the air, and restrained it. With my cheek enveloped, he slowly inserted the penis, then withdrew it, gradually increasing the jerky pace.
