After much contemplation, the place I decided on was a restaurant near the company, one of the few I had visited. The text he sent was not a menu but rather a riddle. It looked long at first glance, and I hesitated to even press it, but when I finally opened it, it was even more complicated.
‘The restaurant lighting should not be too bright or too dark. Above all, it shouldn’t be noisy. The menu should have a good balance of nutrients, not too sweet, not too salty, and not too greasy. Also, reserve a seat where we can sit facing each other.’
I couldn’t get a sense of it. It was to the extent that I requested help from Deputy Kwon through messenger, who had claimed to know many good places near the company after much consideration. I carefully copied and organized the text sent by Han Team Leader again, pressed enter, and sent it to him, numbered from 1 to 5.
- Lighting (Not too bright or too dark)
- Noise (None)
- Nutrition…
‘…Is it a date?’
Deputy Kwon soon sent a text to a restaurant near the company, filled with links. The problem was that all these restaurants seemed to have an atmosphere where I might feel uncomfortable sitting face to face with a man.
I hesitated while looking at the elegant interior photos that seemed like classical music would be playing, but eventually closed all the tabs I had opened. However, it wasn’t something I could tell Deputy Kwon, that I would be having a meal with Han Team Leader.
In the end, I chose a vegetarian buffet near the company. The last time I went there was during my early days at the company, about a year ago. I had come intentionally to treat my younger sister to meat, but when I heard she had cut out greasy food and was on a diet, I hastily searched around and went into the first place I found. It wasn’t bad, as far as I remembered. Roughly recalling it, it seemed to meet all the conditions noted by Han Team Leader. After struggling with repeatedly erasing and rewriting, I sent a text to Han Team Leader.
‘Do you like vegetables?’
He replied in less than ten seconds.
‘Just pick anything. I don’t mind.’
Now…
***
“…Ah.”
I muttered without realizing it as I got into his car. Han Team Leader, who had just put out a cigarette, glanced at me.
“Why.”
“What?”
“What were you thinking?”
The engine started smoothly. I pulled the seatbelt with my right hand. The familiar scent of the direction air freshener mixed with the heater’s warm breeze.
“It’s strange.”
“What is?”
“Eating outside.”
“But we ate. Together at the hotel. Isn’t that okay?”
“Well, that’s… It’s the first time after that.”
I wondered why every time I ate something other than the company meal or convenience store sandwich, I felt unsure if Han Team Leader was next to me. Except for my younger sister, I hadn’t had a separate dinner with someone else outside for a few years. Yet, with Han Team Leader, it was already the second time in a few weeks. I turned my head, feeling a bit like a fish hook got caught in my chest, and closed my mouth.
As we left the parking lot, it was already getting dark as the sun had set. Han Team Leader, holding the steering wheel with one hand, roughly stopped the car at the parking lot entrance. After shifting gears, he turned to me.
“Enter the address.”
“Oh.”
I accepted the vehicle navigation. I pressed the restaurant name, but nothing appeared. I pressed the backspace key and began entering the memorized address one by one. Han Team Leader, who changed gears, leaned over his shoulder. The distance was close, as if his chin would touch my shoulder.
“Is it nearby?”
“…Yes, it’s less than a five-minute drive. It’s within walking distance…”
“We can go further if you want.”
I put the machine back in its place after starting the guidance, and without starting the car, he asked again.
“Is there anything you want to eat?”
“…What?”
“If you want to go somewhere farther, it’s okay.”
“No, you don’t have to… Anyway, we have to eat and then go to the hotel, and since the hotel is not far from the company….”
Han Team Leader, turning gears and avoiding eye contact with me, replied dryly.
“Sure, do as you please, Lee Seodan.”
The resonance of those words felt ironic. As I gazed out the window, I thought, have I ever had the freedom to do as I pleased when meeting him on Saturdays?
“Do we need to stop by the pharmacy?”
“What?”
Looking at the rearview mirror, I noticed his eyes were on me.
“…It’s okay. In my bag… when we arrive at the hotel, if you could give me some time.”
“It’ll be a different sightseeing experience.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
The car smoothly stopped at the traffic light. I couldn’t bring myself to look in that direction after understanding his words. A tense silence, like pulling a thin thread from both ends, settled until the light turned green. The voice of the navigation system rang out loud and clear. ‘In 300 meters, make a right turn…’
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“Kfjw Ofjvfg….”
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Leaving me to stare endlessly out the window, Han Team Leader drove the car smoothly according to the navigation’s instructions. As always, it was a neat and clean drive. Unknowingly, the car was entering a familiar alley. ‘Navigation guidance has ended,‘ said the navigation system brightly. Han Team Leader smoothly parked the car in an empty space and turned off the engine.
“I…”
I tried to get out, but the car door was still locked. Click, as the handle caught, I looked at him again. Han Team Leader was leaning against the steering wheel.
“The door won’t open.”
“I see.”
“…Please don’t.”
Startled, fear crept in, and I found myself saying it without realizing. Somehow, I had become able to distinguish various facial expressions, perhaps due to a strong intuition.
Han Team Leader raised his eyebrows slowly. The tense air inside the car relaxed a bit.
“Why are you scared?”
“…Are you angry now?”
A hint of laughter appeared in his eyes.
“Me? To Lee Seodan?”
“If I haven’t done anything wrong already….”
I searched my memory, but nothing came to mind. No matter how skilled he was in finding fault, it was impossible to create something out of nothing.
“If I haven’t done anything wrong, can we discuss it after we eat?”
I didn’t want to know the reason for locking the car door right now. Even when I pressed the hangover medicine deep into the bottom of my bag this morning, I thought it would be nice if I could eat comfortably. It would be great if it were Han Team Leader from the top floor of the hotel, an izakaya where I could sit face-to-face.
The man in the driver’s seat slowly wiped the smile off his face. With an expressionless face, he met my gaze meaningfully. I didn’t bow my head.
“What’s Lee Seodan’s expression right now?”
It was a subtle voice, much more direct and slower than an echo from the past.
“Like a herbivore that’s been hunted several times. Ears perked up, neck stretched out.”
“….”
“If you roll your ankle, you’re ready to take it off immediately.”
His palm lightly touched my cheek. It brushed over as if stroking, leaving a vague sensation. I remained stiff, catching his neat fingers only with my eyes, which were the only part of me that moved.
“It’s nothing. I just wanted to show you this.”
Suddenly, something came out of his pocket with a flick. It was a thin rubber strap, pink in color, resembling children’s toys. Following that, with a small popping sound, a small egg-shaped object dangled from the end of the strap. Han Team Leader placed it on his palm and extended it toward me, his gaze fixed intently on my face.
“Do you know what it is?”
“…Yes.”
“Vibrator.”
He pronounced it briefly and handed me the item. The smooth pink toy rolled around on the palm of my hand. Upon closer inspection, it was about the size of a thumb, with slightly pointed ends, resembling a rugby ball. With my improved intuition, I guessed that this, too, was an item for a similar purpose. Trying to recall its use, I mentally examined various possibilities. He added with a smirk.
“I’ll insert it back there.”
“…That thing—”
“When you press this, it vibrates.”
Bzzz, the object in his hand began to vibrate vigorously. I dropped the vibrator, trying to suppress a scream that felt ready to burst. Of all places, it fell onto my thigh. As it rapidly vibrated upon contact, I completely held my breath, crouching towards the side of the car door. The vibrator, thrown off by the recoil, wriggled on the car floor by itself.
Han Team Leader watched everything with a slightly amused expression, as if he had found an entertaining spectacle. The corners of his mouth drew a subtle arc.
“You’ll have a hard time today too.”
“…Team Leader.”
“I got a finger in already, and it’s just a bit thicker than that. Why worry about it?”
A low hum echoed from the floor. I held my breath, remaining still. It felt as if the car interior had suddenly darkened. My hands trembled, but I managed to place them under my thigh and took a deep breath.
“Scared?”
Han Team Leader pulled the strap, retrieving the vibrator. The now quiet object sat on his palm. I refused to look at it and lowered my gaze. Without permission, Han Team Leader reached out, grabbing my wrist.
“Ah…”
“Touch it.”
My hand touched the lukewarm plastic. When I thought of it as a toy, I had no problem touching it, but now, even the mere contact sent shivers down my spine. He forced my reluctant hand to open, placing the vibrator in my palm. The smooth and firm texture made my stomach flip as if it were about to turn inside out.
Han Team Leader stared silently at my face. With his own hand, he enclosed my hand, preventing me from releasing the vibrator, and even kindly gripping the strap and the switch attached to its end, he placed them into my hand.
“Keep it while you eat.”
“Why…”
“If we become closer, won’t it be more comfortable?”
Even with the clearly dry humor in his words, I couldn’t force a smile and bit my lip tightly. Han Team Leader sighed.
“It’s not something to be so scared of. In the market, there are even dildos with ten-inch spiked attachments. Putting this in won’t kill you.”
“Still…”
Han Team Leader inserted his fingertips under my chin, lifting my gaze. Holding the switch in his hand, he explained.
“If you push this up, the vibration function is activated. The intensity goes up to level three, and you control it by raising the switch. Like a hairdryer. You do know what a hairdryer is, right?”
“It’s a machine for drying hair.”
“I have to trust your common knowledge, Lee Seodan.”
Without touching the switch, he lifted his fingers over it. It was a step-by-step explanation, just like explaining to a child.
“Try it. Turn it on and raise the level step by step.”
“Right now…”
“It seems like you’ve been avoiding it for a while now.”
Although his expression remained unchanged, his voice had dropped a tone. I closed my mouth, and with sweaty palms, I adjusted the switch. As I pushed up the button, the vibrator in my hand started to vibrate faintly. I watched it hanging loosely in the air, still gripped by the strap, like a dangling tail, while it vibrated. Han Team Leader remained silent, letting me do as I pleased.
As I became accustomed to the trembling sensation, I cautiously extended my index finger and lightly touched it. The object that touched my fingertips vibrated like a mobile phone, though slightly weaker. I grasped the switch and raised it another level. The humming sound increased. Glancing up at Han Team Leader, who was comfortably observing, I reluctantly touched the device with my palm. The vibration transmitted gently through my skin, creating a sensation as if I were holding a living creature.
“There’s still one level left.”
Han Team Leader, who had been sitting comfortably, pointed out with a lazy expression. I exhaled the breath I had been holding. I released my hand from the vibrator and raised the switch to the final level.
As the switch moved, the vibrator, which had momentarily calmed down, started to vibrate intensely. It danced in the air as if celebrating. I hurriedly turned off the power; my chest was pounding too fast for me to look around.
“Put it in your pocket.”
Finally, Han Team Leader said. Click, the locked car door opened.
“Be careful not to lose it; it could be troublesome.”
“…”
“Let’s get off. We need to eat.”
My body, now devoid of strength, nearly stumbled as I got out of the car. Han Team Leader walked ahead, courteously holding the restaurant door for me to enter first.
***
The restaurant was much busier than what I had seen through the window before leaving work yesterday. There was a long line at the buffet, and the atmosphere, which had seemed calm and quiet, was now buzzing with conversation.
Come to think of it, today was Saturday. I had heard that reservations were not possible, but who would have thought that so many people would want to have vegetarian meals on the weekend?
The busy-looking man behind the counter didn’t even look at us and shouted, “You’ll have to wait for about ten minutes!” The chairs by the door, which seemed to be the waiting area, were already occupied by people.
Pushed by passersby, my shoulder bumped into Han Team Leader’s arm. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him properly and asked, glancing at the neat earrings.
“Are you okay?”
“I’m not too bad.”
Han Team Leader reached for a Monami pen hanging from a string and leaned over the waiting list when he picked it up. When he put the pen down, there was square writing on the white paper. ‘Lee Seodan.’ It was my name, not his.
For some reason, my gaze lingered on the simple strokes of the characters. Even though it was my name that had been called countless times since childhood, even written on the ID card I always carried around, seeing it in his handwriting made it seem unfamiliar, like someone else’s.
“Please have a seat.”
One of the waiting seats happened to be unoccupied. I gestured towards the door, shaking my head as Han Team Leader gestured for me to sit.
“Team Leader, please sit. I’m…”
“Lee Seodan.”
A faint hint of annoyance was evident in his face as he turned to look at me.
“I really dislike the tedious conversation method where I have to ask three times and decline twice before things proceed.”
“…I thought you might be more tired than me, Team Leader.”
I quickly sat down and replied softly. To my left and right, there were couples holding hands or sitting close to each other. In front of me was Han Team Leader. Three women who had just finished their meal glanced at his face as they passed by. It felt strange, like a foreign scene set amidst the comfortable and noisy atmosphere of casually dressed people mixed with those in neat suits. His tall stature probably made it even more pronounced.
“Give me your coat.”
Feeling like I had just taken the subway, I looked up at him and said. Without saying anything, Han Team Leader handed me the coat that had been draped over his arm. I quickly folded the bulky item and placed it on my lap, securing it with one arm so that it wouldn’t fall. His coat carried the scent of crisp and cool winter, mixed with his cologne or personal scent.
Han Team Leader’s gaze, which had been directed towards the glass door, turned back to me. Gently looking down at my face, he asked.
“Do you not like meat?”
“No, it’s not that…”
“What kind of meat do you like, then?”
Someone at the counter shouted and called out a name. The couple in the adjacent seat stood up abruptly, and Han Team Leader occupied the now vacant chair. It was a close distance, as if our thighs would touch. Clutching his coat like a shield, I answered.
“I’m okay with almost everything except unusual parts. I’m not a big fan of chicken gizzards or intestines…”
Suddenly, Supervisor Kim’s analogy with gopchang (beef intestines) crossed my mind.
“I didn’t ask what you dislike; I asked what you like. Lee Seodan, you have a talent for making me ask twice.”
“…I seem to like chicken. Beef and pork are also okay…”
The person sitting next to me was blatantly staring in this direction, wearing a skeptical expression about someone discussing meat at a vegetarian buffet. Feeling the gaze, I closed my mouth. It was fortunate that I didn’t have to force a change of topic.
“Lee Seodan.”
Just then, the man behind the counter called my name. Han Team Leader reached out, took the coat from me, and stood up first.
The designated seat was in a corner far from the buffet table, but it was relatively quiet. Han Team Leader, who had seated me against the wall, hung the coat on the chair and said,
“Go ahead and get your food first.”
“Ah…”
I was about to say that Han Team Leader should go first when I remembered our previous conversation. Holding back my words, I got up hesitantly.
It was my second time at the restaurant, but when I stood in line and arrived at the food, nothing seemed familiar. I was amazed at the variety of salads. There was even a tofu dish shaped like chicken nuggets. To someone unfamiliar, it looked enough like chicken nuggets that they might call it that.
When I returned to the table, holding various dishes with both hands, Han Team Leader frowned at me.
“What’s with the two bowls?”
“Huh? Oh… These are different. One is sweet pumpkin porridge, and the other is salty pumpkin porridge.”
“And what about those plates? What’s with the vegetables and the nuggets?”
He started to say something but stopped.
“Start eating; I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.”
I watched his retreating figure absentmindedly, then sat quietly, placing my hands under my thighs. Sitting down, the pockets were bulging enough to make the fabric stretch. Curious if the string might be coming loose, I sneakily glanced down, and the clear shape of the vibrator protruding above the pants was vivid.
A strong sense of unease twisted in my stomach. Struggling to divert my gaze, I looked around. Everyone visible was happily chatting or playing with chopsticks. None of them seemed to be burdened with similar worries as mine. Thinking that way, I felt like I was the only one isolated in this ordinary scenery.
Before long, Han Team Leader returned with two large plates. I was relieved that there seemed to be food suitable for him. As we sat down, he placed one plate in front of me.
“Eat. You can go there if you want.”
“I can get it later…”
It was a futile attempt to decline. Han Team Leader, still holding his untouched plate, narrowed his eyes.
“I told you to eat first.”
“But it might be better if I eat when you come.”
“It seems like Lee Seodan has become more comfortable around me lately. Doesn’t even listen when I talk.”
At his words, the vibrator in my pocket seemed to warm up on its own. Lowering my gaze, I picked up the spoon. I couldn’t remember which pumpkin porridge was which. I randomly took a bite and it tasted salty.
On the plate Han Team Leader brought were various foods neatly arranged in small portions. Three types of namul, a circular tofu patty, and a piece of pineapple. As I ate bit by bit while sipping water, I glanced up and saw Han Team Leader picking up beans with his sleeves rolled up. His fork skills were tidy.
“Is it good?”
Although I was the one buying the food, he asked from that side when our eyes met. I nodded my head. Han Team Leader filled my nearly empty water cup with the water jug he brought.
“…Thank you.”
“By the way, Deputy Park said you’re my hoobae from my department.”
“Oh… yes.”
“When was the last time you went to school?”
I put down the cup I was about to drink. He didn’t seem to have any intention of eating amidst our silence. Besides discussing work, there was no other topic between us.
“After graduating, I haven’t been there… It’s been quite a while. Team Leader, when did you…”
And here I thought that the Team Leader is catching feelings, but no. He’s still just lusting over Seodan’s body. We have to wait longer, I guess.
Thank you for the chapter!