Pr/editor: Helen, Raven
The entire place was shimmering with vivid blue light. The only light came from a faintly sparkling, unknown creature, Fireflies? No, they were not fireflies. Fireflies did not look or shine like that. As he was debating whether to grab it with one hand or not, he heard a voice filled with laughter next to him.
‘How is it?’
The refreshing and hazy voice had a distant longing. Erhart tilted his head to the side, but the figure was obscured by thick darkness.
‘This is my world.’
Was this fiction? Or was it a fragment of a fragmented memory?
Erhart didn’t have a very good imagination, so he would be closer to the latter. In that case, that person who stays in the pitch-black darkness must be the piece of his lost memories.
‘… Beautiful.’
Words came out unexpectedly and, he heard a laughter. He stretched out his hand, feeling a deep thirst, but found nothing. The figure scattered like a shadow between his fingers, and at the same time the scenery in all directions was also turned upside down.
‘Erich.’
The voice, which sounded cheerful just a moment ago, trembled slightly and addressed him as Erich, unlike before.
‘Erich… Wake up.’
Erhart was unable to identify the other party this time as well. His eyes wouldn’t open, and his body was as heavy as wet cotton.
‘Who was he? Who on earth was calling him so desperately and earnestly? Why did his heart feel touched by that call? He wanted to see him smile, not cry.’ he thought.
‘Please…’
Each time he heard the voice desperately calling for him, his consciousness gradually faded. It was a feeling close to death.
‘Please save this child.’
When he was standing at the threshold of death, the child who was only crying, spoke resolutely,
‘Please save him.’
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
It was as if he dared to risk his existence for anything. Erhart did not want to hear that heartbreaking plea any longer. He wanted to say nothing, nothing, but he lost control over his consciousness and it plummeted.
‘Cgf sbe bxjs?’
Qtfc tf gfiemajcais bqfcfv tlr tfjns fsfr, jr lo ybecv ys j kflutas rabcf lc tlr oibjalcu mbcrmlbercfrr, vjgx tjlg mbibg jcv qjif sfiibklrt lglrfr kfgf gfnfjifv. Obbxlcu ja atf vlrajca rlitbefaaf atja yjatfv lc atf reciluta, ktbrf cjwf kjr Sgtjga lcjvnfgafcais ktlrqfglcu?
***
“… Lj.”
Sgtjga bqfcfv tlr fsfr, ygfjatlcu tfjnlis. Llr yjmx kjr vgfcmtfv lc mbiv rkfja. Pa abbx tlw j ibcu alwf ab fnfc bea tlr gjqlv ygfjatlcu.
Only when his pounding heart regained its usual rhythm did Erhart think about his dream. The dream, which had been in the abstract form for three years, became vivid for the first time. At best, it was fragmentary, and even that became fainter as his consciousness became clearer.
But he did not forget one thing.
Listening to the crying voice, Erhart wished that the other person would not feel sad.
“What on earth was that…?”
His voice cracked horribly, as if to represent his messed-up emotions. He tried to recall the dream in more detail, but his efforts were futile. He felt as if they were laughing at him. Unable to hold on to even a fragment of his dream, he cursed briefly and angrily rubbed his hand down his face.
After a long period of control, his turbulent heart became calm. Erhart lowered his hand that was pressing his eyes. Only then did the dull feeling that he had not felt since he was buried in the afterimage of the dream, came back to life. He did experience something that he had never experienced before, not only during the time when he was hated and almost got imprisoned by the emperor, but also during the time when he lived cautiously in order to hide his existence.
Erhart got up from his upper body which was buried in the sofa. It was quite chilly. He tried stretching and extending his body, but the feeling of heaviness could not be easily shaken off.
“…”
He walked slowly towards the balcony and opened its door. As the day wore on, the cool air passed by him. Erhart looked at the garden that spread out below the balcony. There was no expression on his face.
Normally, he would have tried to somehow recall the other person’s hidden face behind the veil, using the fragments of his memories which were scattered like crumbs, but he quickly filled the void with something else.
For example, Rayan.
Thinking of him made him feel frustrated. Erhart habitually raised his hand to loosen his shirt, only to rip it open by the collar, which was already loose.
“Your Majesty. The night air is still too cool to be standing like that.”
Jurgen approached cautiously and held out his cloak.
“I don’t know if you’re the Chamberlain or an assassin.”
Even though he heard the sound of the door opening and even felt a figure approaching, he was coldly sarcastic. Jurgen stood with a nonchalant expression, and did not withdraw his hand from holding out his cloak.
“You came in, even though I didn’t allow you to.”
“If you really didn’t want me coming in, you would have stopped me a long time ago.”
Again, he carefully added word after word. His ability to observe his mood and make suitable additions was exactly like Leah’s. He acknowledged this and appointed him as chamberlain.
“…What about Rayan?”
Erhart, who nervously received the cloak, inquired about Rayan before putting it on.
“Seeing as there is no sign of him, I guess he must be sleeping.”
“Sleep, huh.”
Could it really be called sleep? A sneer remained on Erhart’s lips. Rather than being directed at Rayan, it was closer to a mockery directed at himself.
He coveted his skinny body endlessly as if only his bones were left. It wasn’t even a flower in bloom, but Rayan had red marks like flower petals left from head to toe. Erhart held him as if he was going to devour him.
Rayan was squeezed so tightly in his arms that he couldn’t even let out a proper moan. Even the words to stop were all fragmented and he had to listen carefully to understand them.
But Rayan did not say a single word of what he desired. He didn’t address Erhart by name, said he’d try to forget that other bastard, or that he’d never return to Arhen.
“…El.”
Rayan called out his name even as he began to lose his consciousness.
Erhart didn’t know what he’d do if he heard that name being called again by Rayan in his sleep, so he left him in the bedroom and fled to his office.
“I want to find someone. Is it possible?”
“If you specify who, I will do my best to find out.”
“He…”
When he tried to speak, no specific words came to his mind. Rayan never said anything about his appearance. He always only quipped about who he was and what he meant to him.
“…He says he looks like me.”
“Yes?”
The only hint was that Rayan mistook Erhart for ‘him’ when he first saw him.
Remembering that again made him feel dirty. The thought that Rayan followed him so closely and that the reason he often cuddled into his arms when he was sleeping was because he resembled him, was wandering around in his head.
“Uh…I will look for it.”
Jurgen, unable to say to the other person’s cold face that it would be difficult, made a dumbfounded expression. A face that resembles the emperor? There was no way the two of them could co-exist in this world.
“Be sure to find it.”
‘If I find him, I will definitely kill him. Why doesn’t he stay at Rayan’s side after receiving such unquestioned affection? Where did he disappear to, making him realize the distant longing and earnest yearning?’ he wondered.
Erhart, who was pounding on his railing as if he would break it, tried to calm his mind, but it was not easy.
When he was next to Rayan, he saw him calling another person’s name. He didn’t had the confidence to listen, so he rushed out, but when he remembered it, he felt a strange thirst. It was also because of an unexpected surge of nervousness.
He was afraid he would disappear. Although in reality, it seemed like an improbable and unbelievable notion.
The reception room was guarded by attendants and guards, and it was not possible to escape by jumping because it was on the third floor. Moreover, even if there were no such obstacles, it would be difficult for Rayan to walk for a long time, let alone run.
Still, he was anxious.
He was afraid he’ll go somewhere he can’t reach. He was afraid he’ll hide somewhere out of reach again. He avoided Erhart’s eyes, even though he clearly knew he couldn’t. This was an oddly familiar anxiety. He had never longed for anything and had never waited, so he would never have had the experience of being nervous about something disappearing.
“…”
Erhart pulled his cloak back down and tossed it to Jurgen before passing him and leaving the room. The corridor, which had now reached the end of the night, was in complete darkness. The sole guide was a torch that was hanging on the wall.
Jurgen followed, walking at a brisk pace. The sound of heavy breathing, trying to keep up with his strides, echoed in the quiet corridor. Erhart could not hear even his own heavy breathing. The closer he got to the drawing room, the louder his heart was pounding.
As he climbed the stairs and approached the drawing room, a guard standing upright opened the way.
Erhart hesitated for a moment before entering. Wouldn’t Rayan look at him with disdain? Erhart barely overcame his hesitation because of that ridiculous fear and opened the door.
The room was so dark and not a single candle was lit, thus nothing was visible. As he walked through the darkness, as being familiar with it, through the living room, and headed toward the bedroom, his expression, which had been slightly fearful, hardened.
He felt no presence.
As soon as he realized it, he opened the bedroom door without hesitation, as if he had never hesitated. There was only a crumpled trace of someone laying on the bed, and the person he was looking for was nowhere to be seen.
Qué ha pasaoooo. ¿Dónde estará mi Rayan?
Thx for the ch ٩( >ヮ<)۶