CW: Explicit language, mentions of r*pe, mentions of violence, emotional abuse.
“You have a missive from the palace, my Lord.” Zev places a sealed envelope on the ebony wood desk.
First Lord Hwan Sun spares his manservant a side-glance.
“The Rose Palace, my Lord.”
Indeed, the seal is of a lush bloom, its petals shyly spreading like those on a virgin spring rose.
Zev watches his lord read the letter, the latter’s expression stiff and displeased by the time he reaches that ostentatious signature sweeping across the page.
Upon first glance, the Governor of Hanjuyang is a man who seems weary of living. His complexion is dull and his body is thin, lacking the vigorous and healthy glow his youngest son possesses. His walnut locks are lacklustre and greying, though they are usually neatly slicked back. But when one speaks with him, they would quickly realise that the lord’s weak visage is illusory. Those cold golden eyes hold an intense intelligence and power, striking fear in the heart. His tongue is even sharper and his personality is like sandpaper, grating and painful to those who have the misfortune of stirring his ire.
There is one weakness in this man however, in that he loves his children – albeit from a distance. After the death of his wife, he has taken a harsher approach to raising his youngest, fearing that the boy won’t be able to cultivate enough strength and resolve. Jun is, after all, the most like his mother. His personality is too gentle and trusting – two qualities that attract severe hardships in life. And in many cases, an early death.
Sun rips the letter into four pieces and passes it to Zev to dispose of in the fireplace. The manservant has a demeanour as grim and austere as his lord, though he has stunning features that make him stand out in a crowd. He has the white hair of the elderly despite being at most in his thirties. His complexion is the soft brown cymbidium, indicative of his Western heritage, and his hazel eyes are obscured behind the round lenses of his gold-plated glasses. Of course, his black suit is impeccable and crisp. Not a wrinkle in sight.
The estate staff would call the man unapproachable, considering that many had worked there for years and had never even spoken to him. Regardless, they recognise the manservant as capable and fiercely loyal to the Hwan clan. Most particularly, his beloved lord. There are whispers of the two men having a relationship that goes beyond master and servant, but one can never know, for they are as unreadable and unknowable as each other.
“Kahin needs more time,” Sun mutters, rubbing the spot between his brows as a headache threatens to form. “I have already granted her an extra month. The Mother will not be pleased.”
Zev narrows his eyes at his lord and promptly steps behind his chair. His large hands rest gently on either side of Sun’s head, fingertips massaging his temples to soothe the headache. The lord releases a thin breath and relaxes his shoulders, eyelids drooping and slicing his gaze into thin crescents.
“The Madame’s failures reflect badly on you, my lord,” Zev says, a flash of anger in his eyes. “You may consider sending her a message. An encouragement of sorts. I would gladly undertake this task, my lord.”
“As tempted as I am, Zev, I must resist this time. Kahin is vital to the Mother’s plans and we may only risk hindering her efforts should we interfere. We must be patient. Kahin has proven herself to be well adept at her arts. My role is to simply facilitate and offer the resources she may require.”
Seeing the lines of pain had smoothed out in his lord’s forehead, Zev drops his hands to the latter’s shoulders to knead instead. “The Mother will not be pleased, my lord,” he echoes, expression darkening. “Last time, you bore the brunt of her wrath and she sent young master Bora to retake Ustos. Though he succeeded, he has yet to say a single word to you since. Are you certain that the same will not happen with young master Jun?”
The lord purses his lips, goldens glittering with wintry ire. His hands curl into tight fists upon the arms of his chair, making the polished leather creak. “You need not remind me of my own failures as a father, Zev,” he growls lowly, stiffening under the manservant’s ministrative touch. “I know full well that the Mother is fond of using my children against me. But this goes beyond our name. This concerns the Four Territories and, yes, even the Unknown Lands. I cannot afford to be short-sighted. If Jun must be sacrificed…” His jaw locks so tight, his molars are surely cracking. “If the Mother requires it of me, then I must do what I must. As her loyal servant.”
Zev’s hands still upon the lord’s shoulders. The manservant knows that he’s overstepped his boundaries, but he doesn’t yet back away. Instead, he gives the older man a comforting squeeze. A subtle, yet gentle reminder of his presence.
Sun sighs and glances up at his manservant, a weary smile touching his lips. There’s understanding in his gaze and just like that, the tension dissipates.
A polite knock breaks the two men from their reverie. Sun’s smile drops from his face, his default austerity settling in its stead. He gestures to the door and nods to Zev before picking up another missive to read.
The manservant smoothly steps around the desk and strides to the door, letting in a rather nervous looking Jun. “Young master Jun,” the manservant greets, giving him a shallow bow.
Jun steps past the threshold, giving Zev a strained smile. Despite his best efforts to appear calm and collected, he still can’t shake the anxiety that accompanies him every time he visits his father. Though he admires the Governor greatly, the man is an intimidating force, one that has emotionally beaten and bruised the young lord at almost every interaction.
“Zev. It has been a while. I hope you are well?”
The manservant nods shortly and closes the door, moving back to Sun’s side with nary a change in expression.
Releasing a quiet sigh, Jun comes to stand before the two older men, bringing his hands behind his back to fidget. “Good afternoon, father,” he greets politely, trying to maintain a steady gaze upon the Governor’s face. The latter is yet to look up from his work. “How was your visit to the Blue Plains? Has His Highness returned from his Northern tour?”
“I have no time for pleasantries, Jun. Speak your intent, quickly and clearly.” Sun keeps his eyes on the letter, his face impassive and tone cold.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“Stop your rambling.” Sun’s voice cracks the air like a whip, sharp and merciless. Jun falls silent, his eyes widening in dismay. The Governor sets down the letter and folds his hands loosely atop, frigid goldens meeting those warmer. “When making a proposal, one must ensure that one is entirely clear and concise. Your first mistake is that you assumed I was aware of this Rin character. I am not. Therefore, anything said after that assumption is simply noise to me. Do you understand?” Sun waves a hand at his son – a short, dismissive movement. “Try again.”
Jun can barely suppress the tremour in his body, sweat beading his flushed face. Indignation, humiliation, fear, they all swirl around him sickeningly like a torrid storm. “Yes, father,” he says, voice cracking. He clears his throat, attempts to calm his pounding heart, and tries again. This time, his words are steadier, slower, and precise. “Almost two weeks ago, I was visiting the Slums for my research. I had encountered three men who had nefarious intentions, but Rin – he calls himself the Rat – bravely stepped in to assist me. He was severely injured however, and so has been recovering in the guest house. Healer Wu has recommended that Rin visits the White Lotus Lake to assist in his recovery. Thus, I would like to request permission to use the Lakehouse during this time.”
The elder Hwan’s eyes narrow at his son, his displeasure clear in his face. He shoots a questioning glance at Zev and the latter simply shakes his head. Releasing a short sigh through his nose, Sun leans back in his chair and steeples his fingers, gazing at his youngest with a frosty expression. “This Rat has been staying at the estate for two weeks and neither you nor Mira had thought to inform me?”
Jun blinks at his father, mouth suddenly dry. “I…I thought Mira would have…I would have told you personally, but you were in the Blue Plains–”
“Think me so poor of a father that I would ignore a missive from my own son?” Sun huffs, his edges turning jagged and frigid. “That matters not. What do you know of this Rat and his intentions?”
“His intentions?”
“Have you so conveniently forgotten what happened the last time you brought home a stray? We are yet to recover your mother’s necklace thanks to your actions. I thought being forced to watch your stray hang would be lesson enough, but apparently it was not.”
The colour drains from Jun’s face when he’s reminded of this childhood incident. He had brought home an elderly man who was mute and impoverished, silently starving on the side of the street. Jun had ordered Mira to bring him to the estate for food and treatment. Of course, the next morning, the old man had disappeared along with much of Lady Hwan’s jewellery. By nightfall, the thief had been captured and hanged, and the jewellery mostly recovered. Mostly, because there is still one necklace still missing. And this necklace had been a family heirloom and so far more valuable than the rest.
What hurt Jun most was not the betrayal. He understood why the old man had stolen his mother’s jewellery – desperate people do desperate things, after all. What hurt him most was having to watch another lose their life, thanks to his careless actions. He had been responsible for the old man’s death and the crippling guilt lingers to this day.
“It is…not the same,” the young lord pushes out through grit teeth. “Rin has no bad intentions. I am certain of it.”
Sun raises a brow, his gaze challenging. “That is a strong statement that requires much evidence. How can you be so certain that this Rat has no bad intentions?”
“If he had intended to steal from us, he would have done so days ago. But he is still here. I have spoken with him extensively and I can judge his character–”
“And what exactly qualifies you to judge another’s character accurately?”
“I do not have any qualifications, I just…know him.” The last two words are uttered weakly, without a modicum of confidence. The young lord drops his eyes to his feet, the weight of his father’s glare too heavy to bear.
“Tell me, how can one know another within two weeks?”
“We spoke every day and–”
“Perhaps we should apply this revolutionary tactic of yours to the rebels we have in our custody. Might we learn of all their secrets in a mere two weeks?”
“He saved my life, father. Surely that must count for something? Because of me, he now has a wound that–”
“Of course he saved your life,” Sun says, coldly. “If you were killed, where else would he get his coin?”
“Could you not believe in his goodwill? Perhaps he simply wished to save me!”
“These people have no goodwill, Jun. Wishing they had any does not miraculously make it so. Must you be so stubbornly jejune?”
Jun lowers his head, shadows gathering in his eyes. But when his father is on his tirade, not even Solaris could make the man stop.
“You have come of age, Jun. Do you know what this means? You must cease this impulsive, mindless behaviour lest you be responsible for more deaths. How badly do you wish to bloody your hands? Was one death not enough to snap you from your childish fantasies? You have but a year remaining before you take over my role as Governor of Hanjuyang. The people have no use for a naïve child with impossible ideals. You must understand the reality of the situation and you must start with this stray. Look at me when I am speaking to you!”
The shout is sudden and thunderous, startling the young lord into compliance. Wide, frightened goldens meet a glare full of cold fury that sends a chill down Jun’s spine.
Upon seeing his son’s fear, the Governor forces himself to calm down. His glare softens by a degree and he tries to take the sting from his words. “Tell me, Jun. What do you know of this Rat?”
The boy stays silent for a long while. Eventually, he responds in a flat tone, face as impassive as his father’s.”…Nothing. I know nothing about him.”
“And his intentions?”
“I know nothing of his intentions.”
“Then what will you do with him? Surely, he cannot stay at the estate if you do not know his intentions.”
“No. Of course not. I will send him away.” A minute spark flares in his eyes. A glimmer of courage. “I only request that we wait until morning as I would like to prepare a few things.”
“Such as?”
“Some food and warm clothes. Healer Wu will also need to prepare his medication which requires time. We must keep our people satisfied, mustn’t we?” His voice becomes dry and caustic, his anxiety overshadowed by the anger simmering just under his skin.
Sun smiles thinly at his youngest, pleased by his acquiescence. “But of course, we must. Very good, Jun. I see you are not beyond hope.”
“Thank you, father.”
“However. You are not to visit the Slums again. What research you are undertaking can be done just as effectively if not moreso from the library. I am paying Teacher Hak a small fortune for your benefit. So use him.”
The young lord gives his father a stiff bow, his form trembling all over with barely constrained anger. “Yes, father. If there is nothing else, I will take my leave.”
When Jun promptly turns on his heels to leave the office, he sees a sliver of a gap in the door. There’s a dark blur of movement, and the sound of bare feet in a hasty retreat. An apple rolls across the carpet, coming to a stop at the little lord’s feet.
***
When Jun finally makes his way to the guest house, it’s already late afternoon. The sun is wan and small above the horizon, Solaris’ strength draining with the encroaching autumn. The little lord’s anger simmers in his veins, leaving him thin skinned and heated.
He knew he would have to fight hard for his request, but he was utterly foolish in his thinking that his father could be reasoned with. Lord Hwan Sun has his admirable qualities, so many in fact that Jun sees his father as an omnipotent, immortal figure to aspire to. Despite the brilliance of his character, Sun is also as obstinate as a mountain made of iron. Aside from the Mother, whose word is law, the Governor must have things done in his own way. The world and its people are his to shape and control, including his own children.
It’s during these moments, in the shivering aftermath of Sun’s blistering furies, that Jun understands why his brothers left the estate. Of course, Bora didn’t have much of an option, but the fourth lord still cut ties with those he left behind. Even his own younger brother, who he’d promised he would never leave.
The expression on Jun’s face is bitter and cold when he enters Rin’s room, and his complexion is terribly pale. Rin’s own visage is just as cool, impassivity spread from ear to ear, with eyelids drooping over a lightless gaze. The Rat’s sitting in the window sill, one leg slung over the edge and swinging in the empty air. He doesn’t seem to mind the chill. The thin white robes flutter gently in the late summer breeze, midnight hair dancing in tandem.
He casts a long look at the noble who comes to sit by the bed in his usual spot, not a few steps away. A smile hangs tentatively on Jun’s lips, lacking its usual brilliance.
“Be careful, Rinnie. You could fall,” he warns, his voice deceptively sunny. “I apologise for not coming to visit earlier. Teacher Hak had me stay behind for a test. How is your wound? Did Healer Wu take out your stitches?”
The raven stares at him with that strange, empty expression before glancing back out the window. “He did,” he says, liltingly. “Everything’s as it should be.”
“Ah…yes. Good, good.” Jun falls into a bewildered silence. Sweat prickles his back. There’s something off about Rin today. Though he appears to be in a good mood, there’s a coldness in his eyes that stabs at the little lord’s heart. “Rinnie…” he hesitates, licking his dry lips. “Are you alright? Did something happen?”
“Hm. Did it? I wonder.” Rin continues to swing his leg, staring sightlessly over the estate grounds. The weak orange light of sunset casts a gentle halo around his form, making him appear ethereal. With one strong breeze, this boy could disappear. “Little lord. What are your intentions?”
Jun stares blankly at Rin’s back before frowning deeply. “My intentions? I do not intend anything, aside from assisting in your recovery.”
“Your heart is so pure,” Rin hums, a mocking edge to his tone. “I wonder, how a person so pure of heart sees us Slummers.”
Heart skipping a beat, Jun rises from his chair, but he doesn’t approach Rin. For whatever reason, he doesn’t dare. “I am not pure, Rinnie. I have done…terrible things in my life I can never erase.” He tugs at his collar, suddenly feeling stifled. “I see you as people whom we have overlooked and cast aside. I plan on changing things when I become Governor, Rinnie. I will make sure that the Slummers will have proper housing and schooling, as well as better access to medical care and–”
“We don’t need your help.” The raven’s tone is suddenly frigid and brittle. His leg stops swinging. “We’ve survived this long without you and we will continue to do so until the day we die.” He turns to glance coolly at the lord, face cast in shadows. “You say such pretty words but we both know how you really feel, little lord.”
The noble furrows his brows. “What are you talking about, Rinnie?”
A lazy smile lifts the corner of Rin’s lips as he slides from the window sill. Bare feet touch the ground and he rises to his feet, lithe body moving like water. His robes catch on a sudden gust of wind and the fabric pulls tight, revealing the drunken lines of his frame. From the gentle curve of his waist to the pair of long and slender legs that are deceptively strong, the raven’s visage is both chilling and tantalising. Complex emotions that he’s not completely aware of tumble around Jun’s chest. He’s utterly helpless before this deadly spectre.
“If you’re too scared to be honest to yourself, then allow me, little lord.” He glides towards Jun as he speaks, his voice clear and derisive. “The truth is that you don’t even see Slummers as humans. You and every other blueblood. If we’re not scum draining your coffers dry, then we’re mindless beasts, too helpless to wipe our own asses. Oh, I knew from the very moment you flashed that coinpurse around. Do you know how nauseating it is? Your hypocrisies and empty promises. Every single time, I feel like spitting my guts up.”
Rin’s a mere foot away from the little lord now. A deep grimace settles in Jun’s pallid face, his golden eyes dark and conflicted. Anger, embarrassment, confusion, indignation, worry, they attack the lord, one after the other until they bleed together, leaving a blurred impression of himself.
The Rat smirks and smacks his palm against the lord’s chest. Though the blow isn’t hard, it sends Jun stumbling back a step. “I know that’s all I am to you, little lord. A stray animal that you saved from the streets.” Rin huffs with dry amusement, one brow raised over his cold and mocking expression. “I’m not going to be the next stray you have killed because of your so-called heroism. I almost died once because of you. I’m not doing it again.”
Realisation hits Jun like a lightning strike. He grabs Rin by the arm and tugs him close. “No, Rinnie. My father, he…you do not understand. My father has his prejudices, yes, but he…he only means well. I made a terrible mistake that…that cost a man his life, but that is not a mistake that I will ever make again.”
The raven rips his arm free, lips curled in an ugly sneer. “He means well? Are you delusional?”
“There are systemic issues that my father does not prioritise, but that is something I intend to change–”
Rin slams his hands into the lord’s chest again, shoving him back with uncanny strength. Panting, his wry mirth gives way to bubbling anger. “You don’t listen, do you? We don’t need saving, Jun. I don’t need saving. Do you know what kind of person can live in the Slums? Do you think just anyone can survive in that shithole? Every day is a bloody fight for survival. If you’re not starving, then you’re being beaten. If you’re not being beaten, then you’re being raped. If you’re not being raped, then you’re being killed. You couldn’t even last a single day without running into Tiger and his men. How is a weak little lord like you supposed to save anyone?”
The last statement seems to finally stir the lord’s ire. “I resent that,” he says, lowly. “What am I supposed to do then? Should I sit back and let my people be beaten and raped and killed? Think I can simply let you die without a single care? I am not my father. I am not his prejudices nor his government. I cannot be idle when people are suffering. Even if nothing I do makes a difference, I must at least try.”
“I don’t care about how you feel. So you’re trying? What does that mean to me if nothing changes? Gods, I let myself believe that you were different from the other High District assholes. But you know, even if you don’t have your father’s prejudices, you still have his blood. You won’t ever see past the silver spoon sticking out of your mouth, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise.”
“No, you are wrong.” Jun heaves, his tightly clenched fists shaking violently. “I know you, Rinnie. I know that you are a person. A human being with your own thoughts and feelings. Never have I intended to make you think otherwise. If I did…if I did, then I must apologise–”
“Then why didn’t you say this to your father? If you do know me, why did you tell your father that you didn’t?”
The little lord falters. His eyes flinch wide before narrowing into burning slits. His jaw locks. His teeth clench. All anger, all energy, drains from his body like water down a sink. What remains is a hollow shell, without a single shred of will to be seen. For all his promises and valiant words, Jun knows that he is a hypocrite. He is a hypocrite who doesn’t have the strength to save his friend, let alone an entire city.
“…Because I am a coward.” Jun’s voice is barely above a murmur. His face is impassive as he bows his head, soft brown hair falling into his dimming eyes.
Rin hesitates when he sees the other boy’s lacklustre expression, his heart clenching. He frowns and steels himself against traitorous emotions. “Yeah, you are a coward,” he scoffs, folding his arms tightly across his chest. “How the hell are you going to change anything if you can’t even fight your old man? It’s godsdamned pathetic.”
The little lord casts a dark look at the Rat, his expression heavy and severe. An oppressive gloom hangs over Jun like thick smoke, choking all the life and light from his visage. “I am pathetic,” he agrees, monotonously. “I…understand if you never trust me again, Rinnie. But know that I…I do care for you. Rather deeply, in fact. And I will never forget that I owe you my life.” He intakes sharply, rubbing the back of his neck as he slumps his shoulders brokenly. “I know you. I know that you are more courageous than anyone I’d ever met. I know that you are kind and selfless. That you have an innate strength that’s both stunning and awe-inspiring. I know that you hide behind your anger because you are scared of revealing too much of yourself.” A warm smile tentatively touches his lips. “But Rinnie, as much as I know you now, I wish to know even more. I want to see every part of you until there is no-one in the world who knows you better than I.”
The raven trembles under the barrage of tender words, eyes like pools of ink, glistening with boundless emotion. He clutches at his chest, trying to contain the furious thuds of his aching heart. A feeling that has no label, no words, expands in his body, from throat to chest to belly. Agonising, devastating, and wonderful.
Rin steps back unsteadily until his heel meets the wall. A passing wind dries the sweat upon his burning nape and sends his robes aflutter. His mind is blank. The gears long popped. The wheels creaked to a stop. And from the deep dark beyond, there’s the encroaching panic, eating away at his periphery. “I…” The syllable is an airless croak. “I don’t want that. I don’t want any of that.” His voice is tremulous. His body betrays him. “Like you said. I can’t…trust you. Nothing you say means anything right now. So…you should stop. Before you embarrass yourself further.”
“…Yes.” Shadows replace that brief spark of light, dousing the life in Jun’s eyes. His smile fades, leaving behind an empty space that punctures a hole in the Rat’s heart. “I will not disturb you any longer. You should rest.” He dips his head politely as if Rin were but a mere stranger, and he turns and walks out of the room, steps unsteady.
Rin watches him leave with his heart in his throat. Head spinning, he drops heavily into Jun’s chair, burying his face into his hands. Tears prick at his eyes and soak into his lashes, but he doesn’t shed a single one.
After a time, he straightens up, face pale and apathetic. There is no point feeling sympathy for someone like Jun. Someone who’d spent his entire life behind these castle walls like a pampered prince. No matter how many sweet words and promises he utters, the little lord is just that – a little lord. A pretty, coddled princeling who will never see him as an equal. He will always look down on Rin, even if he doesn’t intend to, and the raven can’t bear it.
No, he must end this fantasy. The Slum calls and the Rat must return.
***
From his bedroom window, Jun watches the Rat skitter into the night, scrambling over the wall with a bag of stolen goods slung over his shoulder. The little lord is void of emotion, save for a single sliver of sorrow, lurking in the depths of his gaze. One hand is slipped into his pocket as he rubs his thumb against a gold coin.
The other hand rises unconsciously to press against his lips. There’s the fleeting memory of a tender kiss, now bittersweet.
Hmmm I really have mixed feelings about this Lord 🤔
Yeaaah he’s erm not the best father V_V Thank you for reading Clozed ^3^ ~~<333
I guess the lord is doing it to prevent Jun for running into dangerous situation but still…
I believe in you guys!! I’m sure you will still be able to meet (˘︶˘).｡*♡
Thank you for the chapter!! ❤️❤️
Haha thank you for reading Dondon~! <333
I hate that so-called father. I reeeaaally hope Jun soon learns to go against the bstard. One day, I hope he screams “Fck you!” to his face, openly disobeys and just does what he wants. Being a frightened little rabbit doesn’t suit him.
His father definitely has a huge influence over his life! Maybe…or maybe not…he will stand up to him~ 😊 He will need to find the courage to do so! Thank you for reading!! <33
I hope Jun will learn to stand up to him! He needs to learn a bit from Rin. While Rin needs to learn some manners from Jun.^^
Zev is fruity.
I have already had enough of the father. Although those are important life lessons, there are better ways to teach it.