CW: Explicit language, mental health issues, mentions of self harm, alcohol addiction, mentions of s*icide, mentions of sex.
At first, Jun chalks it up to a shared hallucination. According to Healer Wu, there have been cases of such a phenomenon, usually between family members or couples. Though rare, it is something that makes more sense to Jun than spirits.
But then…how did his sword end up in the ground? Not only was the blade completely buried, but it had also split through rock and root. Meaning, that an incredible force had been required to accomplish such a feat. It took more than two burly guards and an entire hour of digging to retrieve the sword intact. It simply did not make sense.
The little lord is endlessly troubled, spending less time with Rin and more time frantically researching in the library. He would, of course, assist Healer Wu with changing Rin’s bandages and check in on his friend at the end of the day, but he would quickly rush off to continue his obsessive search for confirmation. Though what exactly he is trying to confirm, he’s unsure himself.
Rin sees Jun staring at the fireplace, looking rather gloomy and pensive. He frowns and pinches the lord’s cheek, none too gently, in his attempt to pull him from his rumination. “Are you listening to me?”
Jun blinks and glances to the raven, who is on the verge of pouting. “Ah. What was it you were saying?”
The Rat huffs and leans back against the headboard, arms folded across his chest. “Every time you’re in here, you keep zoning out. It’s like you’re–see? You’re doing it again!”
Jun gives his friend a weak smile. “My apologies. I promise. I will pay proper attention to you.”
“That’s not the issue here, dumbass.” Rin narrows his eyes at the little lord, lips pursing and twisting to the side. He sees how pale Jun’s become and the dark smudges under his eyes. How long has it been since he’s had a proper night’s sleep? “You’re thinking about spirits again, aren’t you? If you have any questions, I’m the right person to ask.”
Jun stares at the raven, startled into silence. After gathering his wits, he licks his lips nervously and says in a low voice, “It is…quite a lot to process. The fact that there is an intangible reality beyond my senses…I have found myself tearing down the very foundations of my knowledge and re-evaluating…well, everything.” He pulls in a sharp breath and keeps going, the words falling with increasing ease, and speed, the more he speaks. “Not only that, but this discovery has introduced further unknown factors. Such as the status of other mythical creatures. And where does this all fit within human history? There is nothing in any history book about spirits or the implications of their existence, yet our timeline must be steeped in these entities. Perhaps they were even the catalyst to major historical events. How exactly do spirits influence humanity and our countless evolutions of culture and society? Also, the spiritual domain — you call it the underworld, correct? — if it exists, where does it come from? Who created it? What systems of logic does this world follow?”
Rin stares blankly at the lord, head spinning. “I…ah…I think you’re asking the wrong questions…” He pauses, pushing his forefinger into his bottom lip as he thinks. “If you find the answers you’re looking for, what then?”
Jun starts, eyes flinching wide. “Oh. I suppose I had not considered it. I have been fixated on finding the answer, rather than what comes after.”
“So it’s inconsequential,” Rin says, raising a brow.
“No. On the contrary. This discovery has the potential to change the world as we know it. Science will need to be restructured. Our understanding of life as we know it will need to be entirely reevaluated.”
“But humans have known that spirits exist for thousands of years,” Rin says, rolling his eyes. “This isn’t new knowledge, you know.”
“Well, that is because it has never been verified–”
“Oh? So it doesn’t exist unless you say it does?”
Jun frowns. “Of course not. However, scientists have not had the chance to research and validate this phenomenon.”
“What scientists? Your scientists? The ones working for the Mother?”
“I suppose so, yes. Government sanctioned–”
“Oh, right. You mean the same scientists that told everyone that the Silent Plague wasn’t real?”
Jun falters, forehead wrinkling in consternation. How could he forget such a monumental event? A plague that swept through the Slums a hundred years ago that began with the disintegration of the vocal cords. During the first few weeks of the outbreak, health officials had refused to acknowledge that the plague existed, causing it to spread unchecked. By the time they reversed their position, it was too late. Thousands of people died agonising deaths and in their suffering, not one could even utter a sound.
“Look, my point is, it’s all out of our control,” Rin sighs, reaching over to grasp the confused man’s hands into his own. “When you have too many questions and not enough answers, sometimes the best thing to do is…let it go. Just accept things as they are. Sooner or later, you’ll find the answers you’re supposed to find. And you know, the things you’re asking. Like about the gods and where the underworld comes from, those questions won’t ever have a proper answer. Even if your scientists do their research. They won’t find anything. And that’s fine. How will that affect you? How will that stop you from eating or breathing or being a dipshit lord? It won’t. So don’t let it bother you.”
“…I suppose you do have a point.” Cheeks deepening in colour, Jun gazes at the raven, his heart aching sweetly. When he smiles, it’s as if his exhaustion had been swept away. Goldens gain a light that had been missing for days. A sleeping bloom emerges from the cocoon of winter to unfurl under the spring sun.
Rin’s heart skips a beat. He returns the lord’s smile with one of his own and he squeezes those calloused hands.
“You gotta learn how to switch your brain off, little lord. This spirit stuff, it doesn’t matter right now.” He tugs on Jun’s hands and shifts along the bed, making room for the exhausted boy. “Go on. Lie down and relax. Keep me company tonight.”
Goldens round at Rin’s offer, the pink tinge in his cheeks travelling from ear to ear. He clears his suddenly stuffy throat and, after a hesitation, unbuckles his sword and sits on the bed. He stretches out his legs and crosses them at the ankles, his hands clutched tightly in his lap as he sits stiffly like a wooden doll.
Rin stifles a laugh and reclines on his side, propping his head up with his hand so he can stare at the lord. His demeanour is languid, the thin white robe he wears for sleep slipping slightly off shoulder. When Jun glances over, he catches a glimpse of a delicate clavicle and the smooth skin beneath. There is a small cluster of light freckles upon his shoulder that the lord suddenly wishes he could taste. He swallows hard, mouth as dry as parchment.
“How’s your wound?” Jun asks, hoarsely. “Are you in pain?”
Rin hums, rolling his shoulder gently to test his mobility. He winces faintly but shakes his head nonetheless. “Not that bad now. I can move around just fine.”
“Very good,” Jun says, giving the raven a strained smile. “I think we will be able to remove your stitches in another week. As long as you do not pull them or irritate the wound in any way.” While he is relieved at his friend’s steady recovery, he feels that same sense of doom he had experienced in the alleyway. This is a dangerous situation. “Your argument is sound, Rinnie. Healer Wu says something similar. A good Healer knows when to fight and when to cede.”
“I was trying to figure out a way to dumb you down is all. You think too much. And when you think too much, you can fall into a place that’s hard to escape from.”
Jun’s shoulders relax as he stares at Rin, his expression complicated. “Yes. I understand this well.” He unfurls his hands and wipes his palms against his pants. “Ever since my third eldest brother, Bora, left home, I have often fallen into depressive spells. My father has little patience for me already, but when I am depressed, I would not see him at all. Mira is really the only one who remains by my side. In fact, without her, I would neglect to take care of my most basic needs altogether.”
“Hm. I suppose I get like that too. I usually end up doing something really stupid though.” Rin reaches out and idly runs his fingertips over the lord’s shirt, smoothing out the creases. “What about your mother? Is she still around?”
Jun tries to calm his pounding heart as those slender fingers graze over his chest. The touches featherlight yet searing like white fire. “Unfortunately not. She died when I was young. What…’stupid’ things do you do exactly?” By the way he breezes through his response, it’s clear that he doesn’t wish to speak about his mother any further.
Rin frowns, tempted to keep pushing. Instead, he shrugs and says, “I get mad. And I do things like start fights I can’t win or play around with dangerous people.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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“Pa’r tjgv ab fzqijlc. Ca atf alwf, P atlcx la’r ktja P gfjiis kjca. Blcvj ilxf ktfc la’r j gfjiis tba vjs jcv sbe’nf cba tjv j vglcx lc vjsr. Ccv sbe ufa atja vffq atlgra atja kjafg kbc’a rjalros.”
“It sounds like an addiction,” Jun chides, a faint crease appearing in his forehead.
“I’m addicted to a lot of things. Everyone is in the Slums.”
Jun falls quiet for a time, goldens darkening as his lashes fall low over his gaze. When he finally speaks, his voice is hoarse and tremulous. “Rinnie. Can you tell me more about the underworld?”
Those idle fingers run over the lord’s forehead, smoothing out the faint crease there. “What do you want to know about it?” Rin hums, laying his head down as he shifts closer to Jun. Their legs touch and their bodies burn in tandem.
“I wonder…is my mother there? If there is a god…and there is a spiritual realm…then would my family be damned?” Those wandering fingers sweep gentle lines beneath Jun’s eyes, as if to brush away the gathering storm within their depths.
“I don’t think there is such a thing as damnation,” Rin murmurs, his face so close to the lord’s that their breaths intermingle. The other man’s breath is sweet and fruity. “I think…everyone goes to the underworld. No matter who you are or what you’ve done. Death doesn’t care about any of that stuff. When you’re dead, your soul belongs to that world. Nothing else matters.”
A short sigh escapes through the lord’s parted lips. His expression softens, the darkness momentarily chased away. He gives his friend a tender smile. “Perhaps there is peace in that.”
“There is,” Rin says confidently, trying to ease the little lord’s anxieties. “There is nothing but peace in the underworld for those who crossover.” Now their noses are almost touching. His bare feet slide over the other’s, their legs slowly intertwining. Their chests touch and their waists…there’s a stirring within them both, inexplicable, unknowable.
Jun gazes warmly at that beautiful face so close to his own, drinking in every delicate detail and every fine line. He brings his calloused hand to that doll-like face, cupping Rin’s scarred cheek within his hot palm. “Thank you, Rinnie.”
The raven’s own gaze is heavy, his plush pink lips parted to free quickening breaths. “Hm? What for?” he asks, dazedly. He unconsciously presses his face into the lord’s touch, eyes fluttering close.
“For answering.” Those two words are uttered in a low, husky voice, so close to his ear.
In the next moment, Rin’s plush lips are met with Jun’s and all he can think about is how sweet his little lord tastes.
***
From his window, Rin has a view of the estate grounds and the main manor painted that illusory white.
Hwan White, it’s called, a colour invented by the late Lady Hwan who was an avid painter in her time. The colour uses pigments made from the finest razor tree roots and the creamy white scales of a cloudfish. When painted on a surface, Hwan White becomes more reflective than a mirror, lending it an ethereal, shimmering quality.
Since the main manor is painted entirely in Hwan White, it’s near invisible at certain times during the day and completely so at night. At sunset and sunrise, the manor blazes like it’s been set alight, casting a dazzling golden glow over the city of Hanjuyang.
Rin sits on the window sill, one leg dangling in the air as he gazes at the manor. It’s unnerving, seeing servants and estate workers rush to and from the main house, seemingly disappearing into the nether, only to re-emerge out of thin air. The utility of such a magical paint is expansive and Rin can’t help but think of a variety of schemes involving Hwan White. One includes painting his entire body in the stuff and using it to break into the impenetrable mansions in the High District.
The sun momentarily disappears behind a thick white cloud, casting a cool shadow over the grounds. Rin closes his eyes and leans his head back against the window frame, feeling the sweat dry on his face. He had intended to leave days ago and yet he still remains. Jun hasn’t kicked him out and Lord Hwan still remains in the Blue Plains attending to business. The servants, guards, and Mira treat him with indifference, if not with a modicum of disdain, and they tolerate him only because of how attached Jun is to this street rat. While he does miss the Slums, Rin has quickly come to appreciate the comfort and safety of the guest house. Not to mention his little lord, who he is increasingly reluctant to part from.
After they shared that sweet, innocent kiss, Jun had fallen asleep despite Rin’s best efforts to initiate further intimacy. In the morning, Jun seemed to have completely forgotten about the kiss, simply greeting him with a sunny smile before rushing off to his morning lessons. Since then, neither of them have spoken on it or tried to initiate anything more.
This made the Rat uneasy. He was so sure that he’d caught Jun in the alleyway. The moment when he slipped that gold coin between Jun’s lips, he knew. He was so certain. And yet…
“He’s a total virgin,” Rin mutters, lips pursed in irritation. “I can’t believe he forgot…”
“Forgot what?”
The raven opens his eyes and glances down at the gravel path below the window. A tall, gangly guard is peering up at him, one hand shielding his eyes from the emerging sun and the other resting upon his hip. From here, it’s difficult to make out this man’s features, but it’s clear that he’s around ten or so years older than the Rat.
“You’re not going to jump, are you?” the guard continues, his voice slightly nasally and overtly friendly. “I know being cooped up for days can do your head in, but I don’t recommend jumping. At least not from this height.”
“Oh?” Rin drawls, brow raised above half lidded eyes. “Then how high should I go?”
“At least five stories if you want a certain death.” The guard flashes him a smile and lowers the hand shielding his face.
When the sunlight strikes his healthy, tanned skin, Rin can see that this man has a rather pleasant face to look at. His eyes are in perpetual crescents with laughing lines carved deep into the corners. His nose is strong, and his jaw is chiselled and sharp. His black hair is neatly slicked back as is required of all guards, and he’s dressed handsomely in his white and gold armour. The man has a slightly gaunt look however, as if he doesn’t get enough to eat.
Always swayed by pretty things, Rin’s interest is peaked as he pours his dark gaze over the guard’s visage. This is perfect. He’d been bored all day and looking for an opportunity to hassle some poor soul.
He curls his lips into a coquettish smile and swings his other leg out the window. Two bare feet kick at the warm air playfully. His white robes ripple around his calves, sleeves caught by the same passing breeze and fluttering like the wings of a dove preparing for flight.
“What’s your name, pet?” Rin calls down in a lilt.
The guard grins, his teeth crooked in a roguish, charming way. “You can call me Lee. And you are the Rat.”
“Indeed. Does my reputation precede me, Lee?” The Rat sweeps rogue charcoal locks from his face, the smirk on his face deepening.
“Tremendously so. But I must warn you. While jumping from that height won’t kill you, it would definitely be high enough to injure you.” There’s a hint of concern in the guard’s voice as he moves closer to the window. At this distance, Lee’s head is bent back at a sharper angle, and his handsome face is all the clearer.
“Oh? Is that a fact?” Rin flashes a wicked grin. He pulls himself up to stand on the window ledge, both hands gripping the frame on either side. “Should we test your theory?”
Lee starts and raises his hands, giving a dismayed shout. “Get down from there! Are you insane? I was only joking.”
“I wasn’t.” Rin flashes him a grin of his own, beatific and stunning in Solaris’ heat. He throws his arms out to the sides as if he were about to take flight. “I wonder. If I leap from this angle, would I land on my legs or my head?” Laughter bubbles as the colour drains from Lee’s face.
The youth sways in the breeze, rocking back and forth precariously. This incites another shout from the guard, who skitters from side to side beneath the window, ready to catch him should he fall.
In truth, Rin’s easily jumped from greater heights, having developed a great agility from his career as a thief. A fall from this height is simple, but it’s far too enjoyable teasing the poor guard, who’s now hunched over panting, the armour weighing heavy upon his thin frame.
“Why…are you…doing this…?” Lee squeezes out between pants, wiping the sweat from his brow. He squints up at Rin with a grimace, looking hopelessly bullied.
The raven lets out a giddying laugh, cheeks flushed and eyes shining unsteadily. “Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I’m just lonely. Maybe I’m just craving attention.”
“Then crave it in a safer way!” the man yells, gripping at his hair with both hands.
“But I am safe,” Rin sings, rocking in a more precarious manner. He looks rather peaceful up on that ledge, the sunlight soaking into his wistful visage. “Because you’ll catch me, won’t you?” And with that, he tilts forward and dives from the window.
As soon as he sees the youth fall, Lee instinctively holds out his arms and adjusts his stance, bracing himself. A soft body crashes into his arms, a mess of limbs, hair, and robes. The man grunts and drops down to his knee to soften the impact. Thankfully, the boy is rather light, and Lee takes a mere moment to recover before straightening up again.
Rin sprawls in the guard’s arms, flushed and exhilarated. “Nice catch,” he gasps, ringing his arms around Lee’s neck. He gives him a squeeze, pecks his nose, and jumps out of his arms in one fluid motion. “See? I told you I was safe.”
Lee tries to calm his racing heart, utterly bewildered by the Rat’s antics. He straightens out his uniform and quickly scans the young man, checking him for any injuries. “You shouldn’t fool around like that,” he scolds, features creased in dismay. “What if you had hurt yourself?”
Rin stretches languidly with his face raised to Solaris. His smile is smug and curled at the corners, like a cat with a belly full of cream. “Aw, did I scare you? Don’t worry. I use that window more than the door. It’s quicker that way.” Without waiting for Lee to respond, he begins sauntering down the path, humming tunelessly.
Releasing a great sigh, the older man begins following close behind, regretting his decision to engage with this troublesome youth. “Even so. You really shouldn’t be so reckless.” He pauses, brows furrowing in consternation. “Aren’t you still recovering? How’s your wound? ”
“All healed,” Rin hums, plucking a pink bloom from the rose bush as he passes by. “Just waiting to get my stitches removed.”
Lee speeds up until he falls into step with his young charge, glancing at him curiously. “I heard you were injured while protecting the young master.”
“That’s right. If it weren’t for me, Fifth Lord Hwan Jun would be nothing but mulch by now.” Rin holds the flower to his nose to sniff and he nibbles at a petal.
“You have my gratitude,” Lee says, crescent eyes twinkling. “The young master is precious to us. It is good that he has such a reliable friend to watch over him.”
“Aren’t you the sweetest?”
When a smaller path splits away, Rin follows that one instead, feeling a bit peckish. The path winds through an orchard, the bright red fruits hanging low and ripe from every tree they pass. The Rat snatches one and slips it into his pocket.
“May I ask…why has the young master posted guards at your door? Are you being threatened?” Lee also picks a fruit, admiring the rich colour before pocketing it for himself.
“Hm. I suppose it is a kind of threat,” Rin glances at the guard, a hint of irritation in his expression. “He’s trying to protect me in his own way, I guess. But a couple of dunderhead guards aren’t going to keep this threat out.”
“Fitz and Yeri are good men.” Lee frowns at the younger man.
“They barely look at me. Every time I try to talk to them, they just stiffen up. And not in the way I like.”
“Guards are for guarding, not socialising. They are doing their job well.”
“Whatever,” Rin scoffs, rolling his eyes. “Can’t you do something about it? Maybe if you’re the one guarding me, I wouldn’t be so damn bored.”
“Are you insinuating that I am bad at my job?”
The raven sighs and throws his arms around the man’s waist, peering up at him with big black eyes. “You’re way more fun than the other guys. I knew it the moment I saw you.”
“Yeah, yeah. Just keep your hands to yourself.” Lee untangles himself from his charge’s embrace and continues on at his own pace. “You are…not quite what I’d expected,” he adds in a murmur.
Rin huffs and ambles after the guard, annoyed that the latter seems to be impervious to his charm. He idly scrapes away the thorns on the rose stalk with his nail before sticking it behind his right ear. “Sorry to disappoint,” he says, clapping the mess from his hands.
“I didn’t mean to offend you. You are…a unique personality,” Lee amends, pausing to glance back at the boy. He rubs the back of his neck when he sees the pink rose tucked behind Rin’s ear. The colour compliments the raven well, drawing out the soft rosy hue in his cheeks. The man seems a little confused by the sight, his brows pinched together in consternation.
“Unique’s one way of putting it, I suppose,” Rin scoffs, picking more apples and stowing them away in his robes. “It’s my mother’s fault, you know. Everyone says I inherited her madness.”
“Her madness?” Lee frowns, picking an especially beautiful apple from a high branch. He offers it to Rin and the boy tucks it away with the others. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, if you think I’m bad, she’s ten times worse.”
“…That is concerning.”
The guard reclines against a tree, savouring the cool shade. He watches Rin continue to pick apples, a touch of pity in his eyes. “What about…your father? Does he help you and your mother?”
“He’s not around,” Rin says, dryly. “We’re doing perfectly fine without him.”
“Where is he?”
“I dunno. Out West somewhere.”
“You don’t miss him?”
“No,” Rin snaps, shooting a glare at the nosy guard. “What’s it to you anyway?”
Lee raises a hand in surrender, indicating that he’d finished questioning the boy.
Rin huffs and points at one of the higher branches. “Be useful and grab that one for me.”
The guard smiles and obediently picks the indicated apple. In fact, he picks a few and hands them over to his charge.
“How long have you been working here?” Rin asks, head bent as he counts his treasure trove. “You don’t act like the other guards. They all tend to ignore me or treat me like a criminal.”
“Mn. Most of them are Silverswords so they don’t take too kindly to Slummers.” Lee pauses, tilting his head to make a quick calculation. “This would be my sixth year working for the Hwans.”
The raven raises his head, squinting at Lee. “So you’d know quite a bit about them.”
“Indeed I would.”
“Know anything about Lady Hwan?” Rin asks casually, biting into an apple with relish.
Lee frowns, scrubbing at his jaw. “I know what I’ve heard,” he says, cautiously.
“Which is…?” Hellebore eyes bore into the guard, daring him to avoid his question.
The guard swallows, sweat prickling his collar. “Not much. But she seemed like a rather well liked Lady. Treated everyone around her with respect, including the estate servants and workers.”
“How did she die?” Rin asks, licking the apple juice from his lips.
“…I don’t know. There are many rumours but no-one knows for sure.”
“Why’s that? Surely someone would have seen her croak.”
Lee grimaces at the boy’s insensitive remark. “Only a few remain from the time the Lady was alive and none of them are willing to share what befell the Lady.”
“Weird. Reckon the Governor killed her? Maybe he caught her having an affair.” Rin hums in thought, the sweet flesh of the apple pressed against his pursed lips.
“It wouldn’t do to ruminate on these things. The dead should be left to rest.” Lee smiles and plops a hand on the boy’s head. “You’re asking for the young master, aren’t you?”
Rin scowls and ducks under the guard’s hand. “So what if I am? You’re of no use anyway.” He launches the half-eaten fruit at the man’s head, but the latter easily side-steps the ranged attack.
“You care deeply for him.”
“Like hell I do,” the raven snorts, cheeks a blazing red.
Lee’s eyes glint knowingly above his smile, but he keeps his mouth shut to avoid stirring the lad’s ire further.
When Rin tires of picking apples, he grabs the guard’s arm with both hands and gazes up at him with imploring eyes. “Tell me something, Lee. Where do the Hwans keep their best liquor?”
“You shouldn’t drink. It’s not good for your recovery.”
“Come on, pet. Why don’t you show me around the main house? A little sneak peek in the cellar, maybe?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Please?”
“Ask the young master.”
“I have and he’s promised me a tour. He’s just been so busy.”
The guard scratches at his temple. “Can’t you be patient? I’m sure if you waited-”
“I’m not patient at all. And when I get restless, I do things like jumping out of second floor windows and stealing the Governor’s best liquor. Who knows, maybe I’ll even chat up Fitz and Yeri for a good hard fuck. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a cock sandwich-”
“The mouth on you!” Lee bursts out, eyes bulging in shock.
Rin smirks and sidles up to him, pressing his body against the older man’s. “It’s the best in Hanjuyang, if you’re willing to try~”
Finally succeeding in shaking the man, Rin struggles to stifle a laugh as he drinks in the guard’s twisted visage. Still human, he does feel a flicker of pity so he steps back to give the man some room to breathe. “I’m just asking for a quick look around. And maybe a tiny glass of wine. I’ve been so parched.”
Lee heaves a weary sigh and gives the boy another odd look. One of deep perplexity as if Rin were a complex puzzle he couldn’t yet solve. “A quick look,” he says sternly, knowing in his heart that he would also come to regret this decision. “And maybe if you ask the cook politely, she will give you a taste of some wine. But you must behave, Rin. Do you understand?”
Rin claps his hands together, eyes wide and shimmering with excitement. “Understood!”
Eheeee 🍆🍆
n3n Thank you for reading & eggplants Clozed <333
OMG FLUFF!!!!(｡ﾉω＼｡) also..im interested in the late Lady Hwan.. and also Rin.. me wanna know..
GAH ME ACCIDENTLY REPLIED(ʘᗩʘ’)
(つ✧ω✧)つ
Thank you for the chapter!!! ❤️❤️
Thank you for reading as always Mikii!! ^3^ <333