CW: Explicit language
His ears are still roaring when he returns home. There’s a volatility that’s burgeoned since he left the theatre, and it’s on the verge of eruption. He left quickly, not wanting to exchange any more words with his father. Even the mere sight of those around him, those he considered his people, sent him into a spiral of rage and confusion.
The underground is an incredible work of arcane engineering that speaks of an entire world that he is yet to be privy to. Not just of the rebellion, but of the full breadth of ability and power. To create an entire underground network beneath Hanjuyang in just a few years is unfathomable. There is immense power involved. Far more immense than he’d been able to imagine. For the first time since he’s been cognisant of this war, he realises that the Otsuki Rebels are not simple terrorists with pretty idealism. They are an army to rival the Mother’s. An army that has a very good chance of tearing down the Eastern Empire.
There may be a time when Rin would have to make a choice, and he’ll have to choose wisely to put himself on the right side of this war – whether that be rebel or imperial.
He’s relieved to see Jun in front of the hearth, heating up a stew that effuses a mouth-watering spiced aroma.
“Bellow taught me how to make a Northern sheep stew,” Jun says, beaming when he sees Rin enter. He gives the pot one more stir, places the lip askew to keep it from bubbling over, and stands to greet his weary lover. “Are you hungry, Rinnie? You have returned awfully late.”
Rin locks the door and shucks his damp coat as he wears a serious expression. His onyx eye is twice as big in the sharp shadows of the night, and the flickering fire does little to soothe the harrowed lines in his visage. He looks exhausted. Confused. Lost.
Before Jun can express his concern, the raven falls into his arms and clutches at his back. The lord swallows his words. He pushes his nose into the crook of that pale throat, pulling in scents of the night. The metallic mist of rain. Cheap incense. Tobacco smoke. Cold sweat.
“How was the show?” Jun asks, voice muffled against Rin’s skin.
The latter shivers slightly from the heat and vibrations of his little lord’s words. “Boring,” he mutters, rubbing his face against Jun’s shirt. Spiced chestnut oil. He’s since learned that this is from a lotion Jun uses after bathing, to keep his skin from drying out and cracking. “It’s a good thing you didn’t come. You would’ve fallen asleep in seconds.”
“In seconds?” The lord chuckles, straightening up. He gives the flushed raven a warm smile and brushes loose hair from his face. “Surely not. I heard many a great thing about the Celestial Theatre. Although, you may have a point about my not attending. I think I would have better luck going in as Bijan Azar.”
Rin blows a raspberry. “Trust me. Even if you came as Bijan, they’d be able to sniff you out. Anyway, there are better things to do. Like…” He hops up and wraps his legs around Jun’s strong waist, the latter automatically catching him by the thighs. “Whaddya say, little lord? It’s been a while since we last did anything fun.” His trademark smirk is missing its usual fervour. His gaze, its usual spark. There’s a detachedness to the youth, as if he were simply going through the motions. A player following the script but lacking the context.
Jun frowns, stomach clenching in stark concern. He carries Rin to the couch and sits down, letting the raven straddle him unhindered. “Rinnie,” he starts, hesitantly. “Something has happened.” A question stated, for he already has his answer.
“You know what Dasom used to call me?” Rin says suddenly, clasping his hands behind Jun’s nape. He gazes down at him, impassively. “She called me Subin. I dunno where she got the name from, but it’s all she’d call me after my father left. Rin was the name he gave me, so she tossed it out and gave me another. But I couldn’t accept Subin. Every time she’d say that name, it was like she was filling in the space between my lines. And I hated it. Because she wasn’t supposed to be that person. She was supposed to be the mean drunk who barely passed for a human, let alone a mother. And yet, there it was. Every time. Subin.” There’s no venom in his words. Just a kind of helplessness that hurt Jun to the core.
The lord presses a soft kiss on the corner of Rin’s mouth. “So that is why you chose your moniker.”
“I thought I hated my father less than Dasom. And seeing her face whenever I used that name, it was pretty damn good.” He laughs bitterly, like he’s a mouthful of poison. “But now, I’m not sure if I wanna be that anymore. Maybe I should be the Rat and nothing else.”
“Whatever name you choose for yourself, Rinnie, I shall regard you with the same affections I do now.” Jun runs his hand through the raven’s hair, attempting to soothe his distress.
Rin gives his little lord a ghost of a smile that only seems to wash him out moreso. “I like the name you gave me,” he mumbles, lashes fluttering low on his waterline. A soft sigh slips from between his lips as tension is eased with every touch.
“Then Rinnie, you shall be,” Jun rumbles. “But whatever spurred this on?”
Rin hums for a moment, as if considering his words. “I met my old man. And he’s a bigger asshole than I thought he was.”
The lord stiffens and stares down at Rin, goldens growing twofold. “…You met your father? At the theatre? But how?”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“The Celestial Theatre is run by the Otsuki Rebels,” Rin says, without hesitation. “And I was invited to join.”
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“P pblcfv, ys atf kjs,” tf jvvr.
“…” Goldens glaze over as the mind behind struggles to process this new development. Jun gives a little jerk when something finally clicks in place. He releases a soft, “Oh”, and then a louder, “Oh! Right. Yes. The rebellion. You have…joined?”
Rin snorts a laugh and rubs his thumbs into the poor noble’s wrinkled brow, easing the lines there. “Thought you’d be okay with that. Since you got a boner for the rebels.”
“I…a bo–” Jun quickly clears his throat, trying to calm his racing thoughts. This is good. This should be good. But he hears Bucky’s voice, her words, and his mind turns to Rin’s contract. An uneasiness blooms. “Rinnie. This is what my father wants, is it not? Your contract with him. This is what you mean by becoming the ‘eyes and ears of the Slums’.”
“Eye and ears,” Rin corrects him in a half-jest, but this only incites a tight frown from Jun. The raven sighs and extricates himself from his lover’s arms. “It has something to do with the contract, sure.”
“Rinnie–” Jun begins heatedly, grasping the youth’s hand before he gets too far away.
The raven lets his hand be taken, and he glances down at it with a helpless expression. “…Don’t worry, little lord. I won’t betray the rebels. Not outright. I’ll just feed your old man enough to keep him satisfied, and not with anything important. Your precious Otsukis will be safe.” There’s a caustic edge to his words as he pulls his hand free. A flash of a pale smile. And he’s stripping to change into his sleep robes.
Jun watches him, silently, his visage dark and pensive. The weight of his stare burdens Rin as he peels away each item of clothing. It feels like he’s being turned inside out by sight alone.
“How does your father play into this? Is he Otsuki?” Jun asks.
“Mm. Says he wants me by his side when he ‘liberates Hanjuyang blah blah’.”
He fills the lord in on the meeting in the underground, revealing everything including the identity of the Faceless Devil. “Still kinda pissed at Small for not telling me about my old man. He knew this whole time and never said one fucking thing.”
Jun’s looking dishevelled, physically and mentally, as he attempts to process this information. He’d thought himself rather astute, but he’s lately been realising that he’s sorely misjudged his own capabilities. First the Marquis, now their friends. While he understands the Otsukis’ need for secrecy, he also comes to understand why Rin may have had trust issues to begin with.
“I intend to keep an eye on Hwan Sun too, you know,” Rin says, slipping on his robe. He pulls the front tight over his chest and folds his arms across. “Since he doesn’t trust you anymore, I’m the best inside man we got.”
“You intend to play both sides,” Jun says, furrowing his brows. “Rinnie, this is a very precarious position to be in. Why would you endanger yourself so?”
“I need something from Hwan Sun. And maybe I need something from the rebels too.”
“Whatever you need, I will help you attain. You need not go to such drastic measures. If you are exposed, even I would struggle to protect you from the fallout.” The lord drops down to the couch, head in hands, fingers clutching at his hair. “I trust you. I have faith in you. But this is a war. This is not some…turf battle between gangs. These are people who wield enough power to wipe out an entire Empire – and I mean that for both sides.” He raises his head, revealing goldens in turmoil. “Rinnie, I cannot lose you to this.”
A hand clenches Rin’s heart, sending a deep ache through his chest. He lowers himself before his lord, taking one of his hands into his own. Jun’s palm, usually warm and dry, is now clammy and cold. Like he’s taken ill. “Jun. You’re to be the Governor. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to pick a side, and we both know what side that’s going to be. Whether your sympathies lie with the rebels, that’s irrelevant, because you have an important role to play. Me? I can’t be anything but a Slummer until I get a second name. And that ain’t happening if I’m on the wrong side of your old man.” He leaves a line of kisses upon Jun’s knuckles, and the latter stares down at him, fire catching in his eyes.
Rin lifts his head and meets his love’s enflamed visage, a sweet smile gracing his lips. “Isn’t it better to wear the same colour?”
“Your father is the Faceless Devil,” Jun says, a tad hoarsely. He hunches over and presses his brow against their interlocked hands. “You would betray him…your family…so that you may stand beside me?”
“He’s not my family,” Rin murmurs, resting his cheek upon his lord’s fluffy oaken crown. “You are.”
“Rinnie, I cannot condone this. I refuse to condone this. It is far too dangerous–”
“I’m not doing this alone.” The raven leans back on his haunches when Jun’s eyes meet his, startled. “You’re going to help me. The Otsukis have resources I could use. And the Devil, he can give me access to everything they have. This isn’t just for your old man. It isn’t just for a second name. This is for me too, Jun. When this war is over, I’m gonna come out of it richer than either side. I’m going to make sure no-one will ever fuck with us again.” The depths of his hellebore eye flicker red. There’s a sharp, serpentine hunger that touches his face, and Jun knows that it conceals a far deeper desire extending beyond his own awareness.
The little lord’s stomach flips every which way. He has an odd moment of dissonance, when he suddenly doesn’t know if he recognises this man kneeling before him. It’s like looking at the stars, seeing them flicker between shape and colour, and unable to ascertain what their true nature is.
He clutches Rin’s hands between his own, holding onto him so tightly, as if he were on the verge of sinking into the unknown depths of an unknown ocean. “We will persevere through this war as we have done so thus far. You do not have to be anything more than you are. You do not need endless resources or power or status. Whatever fears you have can be allayed. No matter if I am the Governor of this Empire, or a pariah of the new world ruled by the Otsukis, my heart shall remain yours.”
Rin feels himself wavering. His heart palpitates as his little lord looks upon him with a visceral heat that spreads through his body. “It’ll never work,” he mumbles, a tad feverishly. “We’ll be eaten alive.”
“Not if they cannot find us.”
“You wanna run?” Rin blinks, not expecting such an answer.
“I would rather run than risk the loss of you, yes.”
Pink floods the raven’s cheeks, but he locks his jaw and holds his ground. “And do what? Live like fugitives for the rest of our lives? You wanna be a rat too? Eating scraps off the ground and blowing drunks for copper?” He grabs Jun by his wrists, fingers digging into his muscular forearms. “You don’t know shit about that kinda life. Running isn’t romantic, little lord. It’s ugly and sad and fucked up in all kinda ways. You might wanna live like that, but I don’t. Not anymore.” He smiles and pecks the man’s chin affectionately. “I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s just that. A sentiment.”
Jun grimaces, unable to find comfort in his lover’s gestures. “Nothing I say will detract you from your path.”
“It’s the path I choose. Are you with me?” The red glow in his eye intensifies, an ember pulsing with promised violence.
His lover, the killer. Could he ever consolidate the two faces of this man? Could he ever do so without losing himself in the process? “I am with you, Rinnie,” he whispers, goldens shadowed by the unspoken. “Always.”
Rin smiles, though it lacks good humour. There’s a steeliness to it, not entirely manufactured but hardened by a dangerous hunger.
“Perhaps…” Jun turns his hands to palm Rin’s wrists; feels his strong, steady pulse. “Perhaps I should join the Otsukis as well. I have been considering it for a long while. If I let my sympathies be known to them–”
“No,” the raven says, sharply. That bloody ember lingers in his eye, bellowed by the lord’s words. “You have to become Governor, Jun. I’m not letting you give up your silver spoon for idealism. That’s fucking stupid.”
“What else is more valuable than idealism?” the noble frowns. “Is it not why you tolerate me by your side, despite being a ‘blueblood’?”
“You can afford to be idealistic in the confines of your estate, little lord. Out here, that means risking everything, including your neck.” Rin slides his hands up those strong, defined arms, until his palms come to rest upon Jun’s broad shoulders. He never tires of how much strength coils under his lover’s skin, though his gentle nature obscures the full breadth of his potential. One day, he’d love to see Jun drop his restraints entirely, and witness what comes unleashed.
“Bijan Azar,” Jun rumbles, bringing his large hands down to grasp Rin by the waist. “That is the name I wish to make mine.”
Rin climbs onto his lap, wrapping his legs around his little lord’s trunk. They’re face to face, but inches away. Jun can feel the quickening of the raven’s pulse beneath his hands, the frenzied surge of his blood.
“It is yours,” Rin says, trailing his fingertips along the lord’s jawline. The latter shivers at the feathery touch. “Who else would Bijan Azar be but you?”
“While I am a Hwan. I cannot be an Azar,” Jun says, grimly. When he catches his love’s questioning look, he further explains, “My mother…Jina. She adopted an Eastern name when she married my father. However, I always preferred her true name, Hestia Azar of House Azar. Perhaps you have heard of the city of Azar in the West, though it has long since become derelict and abandoned from what news I could gather.”
Rin draws back, surprise flickering in his face. “Bijan Azar. That’s a real name?”
“It is the name my mother gave me, yes.” Jun clenches his jaw, pulsing it in frustration. “You speak of how the Hwan name allows me freedom to be idealistic. It is true, that I have been able to live with my naivety without danger to my person, and if I were with any other name, greater harm would have surely befell me. However, by remaining a Hwan, I also relinquish the name I chose for myself. To me…that is a large sacrifice.”
The raven grimaces. He’d been so focused on what his little lord had, that he didn’t really think about the consequences of his taking Governorship.
He knows that Jun fears becoming like his father, isolated, callous, and living only for his work. Becoming increasingly jaded over time, until people are reduced to characters on a page, negligible and easily erased.
He also knows that while Jun was Bijan Azar, roughing it up with the Hounds, he’d never looked more animated. Jun was more as Bijan. He was brighter, louder, stronger – just more. Bijan Azar was free to push past the boundaries of himself, and tailor himself to how he wished to be. A luxury that’s never been afforded to Hwan Jun, despite the richness of his blood.
“Sorry, Jun,” Rin mutters, hands squeezing the lord’s shoulders before curling into white knuckled fists. “Guess I wasn’t really thinking.”
“When the war is over and we have accomplished all that we set out to do, I shall take on the name of my choosing.” Jun kisses his grimacing lover on the forehead. “There is also the concern that my mother’s name might die with her, thus I should like to carry on her lineage.”
Rin blinks at the tender kiss between his eyes, his cheeks blooming in response. “What do you mean? She’s not got family?”
“I had Mira enquire about the House through her Western contacts. It appears that they have either gone underground or perished. The House of Azar, gone to the wind like their city.” His lips quirk into a wry smile, ill fitting on his usually sincere visage. “Since my brothers have retained their Hwan name, I dare not refuse Azar.”
“Do you…” Rin purses his lips, suddenly uncertain. “Do you want me to use that name? When it’s just the two of us?”
Jun chuckles, a tiny light dancing in his tired eyes. “I like the name you have given me.”
“Little lord? Or moron?” Rin teases.
“Both are befitting, no?”
“Little lord, then,” the raven smiles, and he prints a flurry of kisses upon Jun’s mouth – one for each corner, two for the plush centre, and repeat. When he draws back, his little lord has regained some of his spirit, the heat in his visage rekindled.
“Do you ever wanna go there?”
“Azar? Perhaps one day, yes. I would like to pay my respects to my mother.” Seeing Rin’s confused look, he explains, “There is a cenotaph at the estate, however my mother dislikes it.”
Rin’s brows leap in surprise. “How do you know that?”
“I can sense her. See her out of the corner of my eyes. Sometimes she lets herself be known to me, other times not. I assume that her possession of me has led to this…bond between us. In a way, I am grateful for it. While I did not know her well in life, I feel as though I am granted precious time with her in death.”
“Suppose it can’t be that bad if it’s just one spirit,” Rin mutters, a tad bitterly. “So you don’t know where her body is?”
“Mira’s investigations reveal that my mother’s disappeared during the wake. Taken by whom and what for, it is unknown.”
Rin wrinkles his nose, choosing not to voice the many (grotesque) theories that percolate in his mind. “I’ll take you to Azar, then. When the war’s over, we’ll go and do your respect thing. And we can take a look around your city. You know, not everyone has a whole damn city named after them.” He grins and pats his lord’s chest. “If we get married, does that mean the city’s mine too?”
Jun huffs a laugh and gently takes the raven’s chin between finger and thumb. Rin gazes up at him without a hint of red in the depthless pitch of his eye.
“When we get married, everything that is mine is yours,” Jun husks, rubbing his thumb over the raven’s plump bottom lip. “And everything that is not, I shall obtain for you.”
“That’s a promise,” Rin smiles sweetly, nipping his little lord’s thumb.
A dark hungry look descends upon Jun who reels his mischievous lover into his arms and kisses him deeply. Within seconds, Rin ceases to be a thinking human and embraces his new life as a mindless puddle of goo.
Giving each other names>>>> “i love you”
Thank you for the chapter!! <3
LOLLLL yeah it’s pretty damn gay VuV <3 Thank you for reading! <333
Given his super awkward position in this situation i don’t know if telling everything to jun was the wisest solution but i’m so damn happy rin opened about this to jun
I think Rin knows it’s not the smartest thing to do (and OG Rin would never tell Jun), but to Rin right now, it’s the entire world against him and Jun. So of course he would tell the only other person he considers as important as himself (if not more) ;u;