Once Chen You came out of the shower, he was fed some paste.
He ate like Zhu Bajie, unaware of what the paste’s taste or color was, and directly swallowed it down.
To be honest, he was a little afraid. Every time Lei Ming fed him some paste, it was never in spoonfuls, but rather in potfuls.
At the very minimum, it was one pot to start with.
Also, there was the fact that he was such an inhuman being, he could eat it all and still never feel full.
Normally, Lei Ming and Chen You were a pair with one exerting all his energy to feed and the other exerting all his energy to eat. There was a clear division of labor with no room for confusion.
Work together? It’s my pleasure. After cleaning themselves up, they each would go off and do their own thing.
This time, Lei Ming didn’t leave.
Chen You, who was whole-heartedly concentrated on pulling down a tuft of hair that was sticking out from his head, didn’t pay attention to anything else.
The hair refused to lay flat, so he just got on the bed with a head of wet hair, placed a pillow in between his legs, and started playing with his optical computer.
Major General Lei Ming was completely invisible.
When he shifted his posture, Chen You caught a glimpse of a wide back and was startled, “What the fuck, Xiao Ming how are you still here?”
It’s over.
It was impossible to tell whether Lei Ming’s expression was angry or if it was something else. Regardless, it definitely wasn’t happy.
“Sleep talking?”
Chen You felt weak, “Can it be that?”
Lei Ming’s gaze stabbed him.
Chen You swallowed his saliva and his shoulders collapsed, “Major General, I was wrong.”
There was no response.
Chen You’s heart was pounding like a drum. Lei Ming’s study was next door with whips and guns inside. He had nothing.
After half a day, Lei Ming’s voice sounded in the room, “Come here.”
Chen You crawled over.
Lei Ming said, “Sit up here.”
“…”
Chen You’s face twisted. I don’t want to sit. I’m afraid of getting stabbed.
Lei Ming frowned, “This is an order.”
Chen You blurted out, “I’m not a soldier!”
Hehehe, really, no one can save you, Chen-idiot.
The atmosphere was not very good.
Chen You secretly snuck a glance at the Evil value on top of the man’s head. Before the old man took him back to the Lei household, he had been a shabby, miserable, wretch of a kid, endlessly chased by wild animals and bullied by human beings.
His Evil thoughts were deeply rooted.
When he arrived at the Lei family, it was a different, invisible kind of hell that could kill a person. Before he was able to truly become strong, most people looked down on him and ignored him.
He didn’t know who he was, where he was from, or why he was different from others. He was extremely cautious because he was afraid of that if his difference was exposed, he would be isolated, lonely, and feared, unsure of where to turn.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Filled with these doubts and negative emotions, Lei Ming survived to this day.
Ktfc Jtfc Tbe jqqfjgfv.
Ktf ibmx atja mbeivc’a yf mgjmxfv olcjiis tjv j xfs, jcv atf vbbg ab jc ecxcbkc kbgiv bqfcfv.
Chen You automatically rubbed the man’s head. Don’t be afraid. I’m here. In the future, we’ll be a pair of happy and healthy monsters.
Ofl Zlcu’r ojmf aegcfv vjgx jr tf rtjgqis rjlv, “Qtja jgf sbe vblcu?”
Jtfc-lvlba gfqilfv, “P vbc’a xcbk. P pera kjcafv ab abemt sbe.”
Lfjglcu atfrf kbgvr, rbwfatlcu oijrtfv lc Ofl Zlcu’r fsfr, jcv tf iloafv tlr jgw.
Chen You’s head drooped down. Hit, hit, ba. I’m already deeply aware of how I’ve sought out my own death.
When the pain he was anticipating never arrived, he wanted to lift his head, but it was pressed down.
He lifted it again, and it was pressed down again. “Major General, does playing around like this make you happy?”
Lei Ming said, “It’s not bad.”
Chen You rolled his eyes, “Then, when you’re done playing, can you fix my hair?”
Lei Ming, “…”
The next day, Lei Ye, this big fool, came over in a wheelchair. It was obvious that he had heard from the old man that the wretch had become a beauty, was doubtful, and wanted to see it with his own eyes.
It wasn’t his fault. Normally, people wouldn’t believe it.
When he passed through the gate, Lei Ye caught sight of someone’s butt in the middle of the flowers.
The ass was small and perky, little enough to grab in one hand. Out of all the butts he had seen before, it was first-class among them.
It was just an ass, but Lei Ye’s mouth turned parched and his tongue went dry. He ordered his servant to push him over.
At this moment, Lei Ye automatically entered his hunting mode, completely forgetting his initial purpose.
He adjusted his collar and threw out his most charming smile, “Little friend.”
The little friend turned around.
Lei Ye felt that even the most precious and rare flowers in this garden paled in comparison to this little white flower.
He used a meek and gentle tone, afraid of scaring the child off, “What are you doing?”
The corners of Chen You’s mouth curled up, “Big brother, it’s me.”
This voice…Fuck. Lei Ye’s vision turned black. What the fuck, Grandfather was telling the truth.
Chen You blinked a few times, “You don’t recognize me?”
Lei Ye’s eyes comically bulged out. Motherfucker, you changed your entire outer shell. It would be weirder if I did recognize you!
He rubbed his eyes. Though he could clearly see, he still couldn’t believe it.
The person who was once an ugly wretch was now in front of him as a youth who was so beautiful, he turned stiff.
“Say, are you really…”
Chen You suddenly bent his body and leaned closer to Lei Ye.
Lei Ye was stupefied. The boy’s fragrance drifted over, smelling of milk, with a hint of fruity sweetness.
He nervously gulped. He really wanted to take a bite.
Chen You was next to Lei Ye’s ear, hesitating between choosing to blow air with a ‘ha’ or a ‘hoo’ before finally deciding on ‘ha.’ “Am I pretty?”
Lei Ye’s breath came out heavily, “Pretty.”
Chen You lightly laughed, “Want to get on top of me?”
Lei Ye stared at the youth’s delicate, petal-like lips and replied, “I want to.”
Chen You exclaimed, “Big brother, what did you say?”
Lei Ye’s brain had already been successfully eaten away by a group of Zergs, “I want to get on top of you!”
His servant was pinching him, so he turned his head and scolded, “What are you doing? Are you looking for death?”
Lei Ye caught a glimpse of a person’s silhouette, and his face turned white in an instant, “Big brother.”
Lei Ming’s face was devoid of expression, “Un.”
The corner of Lei Ye’s eye twitched. Not good, big brother is angry. He started first, and ended up ruthlessly slapping his own face.
Damnit, after seeing a beauty, you turn into an idiot!
“Big brother, I was delirious just now. I think there’s something wrong with my brain.”
Lei Ming spoke, “Then go to the hospital as soon as possible to get a check-up.”
“I will. Thank you, big brother, for your concern.” Lei Ye added, “Big brother, goodbye.”
He gave his servant a warning glance and they speedily departed.
While passing by Chen You, Lei Ye couldn’t help taking one last look. Shit, the kid is so fucking beautiful now. The longer he looked, the harder it was to restrain himself.
Why wasn’t he able to see it back then?
As expected, big brother really is big brother.
After this affair concluded, Chen You was brought into the study by Lei Ming, under the tempo of being criticized.
Not a word passed through Lei Ming’s tightly shut mouth. The child’s pants were small, tightly stuck to his body, exposing the attractive contours of his legs. When he bent over at the waist, his hips were extremely tempting.
The boy was very clever, going so far as to do that.
Chen You discovered that Lei Ming was staring at him, and felt a bit embarrassed. He lowered his head to take a look at himself. Are my thighs fat?
Shouldn’t be, ah. It was still good-looking. Even he felt the urge to touch it.
Lei Ming’s face remained unmoving, “Change your pants.”
Chen You was a good kid who wanted to save money, “The pants are only a tiny bit short. Wearing them as cropped pants still works.”
Lei Ming yelled, “Change them!”
Chen You wasted no time in taking off his pants and changing to a different pair.
Lei Ming held the child’s chin, a thumb pressed against the corner of his mouth, rubbing heavily. His tone was dreadful, “You’re too fond of playing around.”
The rough touch against his mouth gave Chen You cold shivers down his spine. You won’t, ah. I’m this pretty. It’s all because of the paste you fed me. I know. Xiao Ming, please don’t hit me.
Lei Ming didn’t remove his hand, “Afraid of me?”
Chen You was honest, “Afraid.” Very scared. You don’t see me trembling?
The boy’s appearance was lovely, and Lei Ming’s expression relaxed a bit, along with his tone. “If you’re scared, then be good.”
Chen You bobbed his little chicken head, nodding his assent. Good, I’ll definitely be good. But you should give me a little something, ah.
I don’t expect your Evil value to drop from 10 to 0, but you can’t stay still and not move at all. Take pity on me and drop at least 0.001 points.
Unfortunately, Lei Ming’s Evil value never moved, as if it was deliberately setting itself against Chen You.
He asked in his heart, “Is there something wrong with this world?”
The system spoke, “There isn’t.”
Chen You retorted, “Can you give me a more convincing answer?”
The system tacked on an extra word, “There really isn’t.”
Chen You said, “Bye-bye.”
There was no progress in the task, and Chen You began to feel uneasy about picking up this mission.
At this time, however, there was a group of aliens who broke into a fringe planet on the edge of their territory. Lei Ming was needed to lead the troops to suppress them and wouldn’t be able to return for a period of time.
Chen You guessed that Lei Ming wouldn’t take him, fearing that he would create a disturbance in the army.
The system commented, “You really think highly of yourself.”
Chen You hemmed and hawed, “That’s the current me. I’m no longer who I was in the past. A moment of carelessness, and I might influence the outcome of the war.”
Right now, he was contemplating what he would do once Lei Ming was gone. Aside from playing games everyday and going up and down the stairs, he didn’t know what else he could do. Then, he heard the system say, “As soon as Lei Ming leaves, you will…”
Chen You had a bad premonition that something was going to be a huge pain in the ass, “Then I’ll what?”
The system said, “You’ll turn ugly.”
Chen You haha-d,”You’re teasing me.”
The system responded, “Right, I’m just teasing you.”
Chen You’s small system liked to be sarcastic, so if it was saying it was just joking, then it was really telling the truth.
This was a bolt from the blue. “How can this be? Aren’t I already beautiful?”
The system explained, “Let me tell you something you weren’t aware of. If you don’t see Xiao Ming for more than three days, this beauty of yours won’t survive.”
Chen You was panic-stricken, “Your meaning is, if I don’t eat paste for three days, then I’ll turn ugly again?”
The system re-worded it’s previous statement, “Three days later, after three days pass, you won’t be far from ugly for long.”
What the fuck. So basically, he had to get Lei Ming to feed him paste everyday in order to reach new heights of beauty.
Chen You anxiously rolled around, “Then can I put the paste in a big pot and eat a little bit every day?”
He didn’t know if this paste was similar to rice paste, whether it had a decent shelf life or if it would go bad after some time.
The system asked, “How can you eat by yourself?”
Chen You thought it over, “I can find an L-shaped tube and use it to pour the paste into my mouth.”
This picture, it was impossible to visualize, truly terrible.
The system added, “This tube would have to be custom-made, and you would need to add another one.”
“…” You want to play like this?
Chen You lay down on the bed again, then immediately got up like a carp jumping on water. That doesn’t matter right now. Time is of the essence. I’d better look for Lei Ming and ask for some paste first. Be prepared, and I won’t be sorry. How about playing it like this?
After looking around the room, Chen You picked up a water cup. When he got to the door, he turned around and placed the water cup back down. He made up his mind to drag Lei Ming to the bathroom later and let him directly put the paste in the bathtub. It was bigger, so it would be able to hold much more.
Luoshenhua: Oh man, I can’t with Chen You lol. At least he can win against Lei Ye haha, since he’s always losing against his system and Lei Ming. This week, I have no excuse for the late chapter, I got distracted MTL’ing my way through Master of Trading Star Card Game 
But is it true or is the system just messing around? I need to know!
😂 Chen You…
Am I the only one that doesn’t really the system? It’s mean to my favorite idiot and I don’t appreciate it. Leave Chen You alone
Yeah, the system in the first few chapters was more funny and now it seems more mean.
Thanks for the chapter!!
oh my god chen you stop it im dying 😭
Thanks for the chapter!
(I’m still waiting for Master of Trading Star Card Game to update XD)
I….i feel myself dumbing down
Omg I’m d e a d lmao.
Thanks for the new chapter haha!
How much “paste” can ML produce??? This is such a weird setting.
poor CY!! thanks for the chapter.
This is probably the weirdest arc I’ll ever read in a danmei novel but…
HAHAHA Chen You’s ambitions of letting his “mouth” eat the paste while ML is away… good luck trying to extract paste to preserve like jam I guess … 😳
Thank you for the chapter!!
Poor guy gets bullied by his man and his system 😂😂😭😭
I’m imagining Mc asking Ml to put some paste in a cup for him,,, Pfft
Didn’t he choose the bathtub, much bigger than a cup?
[The system explained, “Let me tell you something you weren’t aware of. If you don’t see Xiao Ming for more than three days, this beauty of yours won’t survive.”]
I was thinking after reading this…. does this mean it’s an evolutionary adaptation of their race? To make sure the husband won’t leave them or take another wife or something? 😂
Thanks for the great translation.
This is my second time reading this and damn its still too funny 🤣🤣🤣
Thanks for the chapter <3
Is he really going to keep calling it ‘paste’??? 😂