Gradually narrowing the gap and relentlessly pressing Niall, who was pinned down by the intimidating Duke, ended up blurting out the truth inadvertently. It was a sincerity Niall had never told anyone before. Niall hesitated as he spoke.
“I do it to never have a child.”
Duke halted his steps. He wore a puzzled expression. It was the same expression people made whenever Niall mentioned meeting an omega widower. But then you can’t have a child. Why don’t you want to have a child? Everyone asked Niall that way. Duke was no exception.
“Do you dislike children?”
“No.”
Niall shook his head. He didn’t dislike children. In fact, he quite liked them. But having a child and liking them were different issues.
“I don’t dislike children. In fact, one day when I’m middle-aged…”
Niall stopped speaking and glanced at Duke’s reaction. Duke stood with his arms crossed, pressing Niall for an answer. Niall couldn’t help but speak.
“My dream is to meet a widow omega with a child and live peacefully raising them.”
“…?”
A silence fell like submerging underwater. Niall lowered his gaze as if guilty. When would this conversation end? He just wanted to return to his room and rest now.
“I don’t understand.”
Duke tapped his elbow with his finger, carefully choosing his words.
“You’re an omega.”
“Yes.”
“Why don’t you like alphas then?”
Ah, they seemed to have had this conversation before… Niall felt a sense of déjà vu.
“As I mentioned last time, Duke… that’s my freedom.”
“No one can escape pheromones. Even if you’re a dominant omega. You, too, cannot escape this destiny.”
Duke pointed his finger at Niall’s chest. Niall felt his heart skip a beat.
“No alpha or omega in history has ever escaped that destiny. Freedom? It’s just your preference? No. Since you’re bound to this gender, eventually, you’ll desire alphas.”
“I don’t know about other omegas, but I won’t. I’m a male omega, but I’ll date other male omegas.”
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“Why?”
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“Qts rqfmlolmjiis wjif bwfujr?”
Rljii ugfk algfv. Lf vlvc’a kjca ab jguef klat Gexf jcswbgf. Lf mbeivc’a pera rwlif la boo ilxf klat batfgr yfmjerf la kjr Gexf. Snfcaejiis, Rljii tjv ab mbcofrr j ageat tf tjv cfnfg abiv jcsbcf, klat j rwjii rlut.
“Dfmjerf lo ybat ws rfzfr wjamt, j mtliv klii cfnfg yf mbcmflnfv.”
“…?”
“Male. And omega. For a child to be born, these two must never match.”
It was a principle Niall had never broken since manifesting as an omega.
The two sexes a person has. Male and female. And alpha, beta, and omega.
A man can impregnate a woman.
So Niall didn’t mate with alphas, betas, or omegas.
An alpha can impregnate an omega.
So Niall didn’t mate with alphas, regardless of gender.
Beta males can impregnate omega males. It was very rare but it definitely happened. So Niall excluded beta males, wanting to be cautious. He never wanted to have a child.
So what remained was male omegas. A definite same-sex that could never conceive a child if both sexes matched.
“But… you said you liked children.”
No one puts in this much effort to not have a child. It was understandable that they couldn’t understand someone who went to such lengths to avoid giving birth, even to the point of not breaking their innate sexual barrier.
Duke looked confused. Niall’s words of genuinely liking children but not wanting to have them were contradictory.
Since there seemed to be no intention of providing an answer on that matter, Niall repeated the answer he had given several times before.
“Yes, I really like children. So, later, with a beautiful widow omega…”
“Stop. I’ve already understood that.”
Realizing he wouldn’t receive a proper response, Duke withdrew his hand. Niall lowered his eyes again, returning to a submissive posture.
The sound of crackling wood and the musician behind the tinted curtain plucked the strings again, producing a clear sound.
“Are you saying you dislike alphas?”
A worthless debate about one omega’s sexual barrier dragged on for too long. What was left after burning excessive passion was only fatigue. Duke ran his hand through his hair, dispersing the tiredness, then asked Niall. Niall shook his head.
“I don’t dislike alphas.”
“…”
“I really don’t. I don’t dislike alphas. And neither do I dislike you, Duke.”
It wasn’t that he disliked alphas. He just avoided them because they were the most certain gender that could impregnate him.
Niall cautiously approached Duke and stood in front of him. Now Duke allowed this distance between them. It was a distance where their hands could touch. A distance where they were allowed to silently gaze into each other’s eyes.
“My betrothed will arrive in the city after the New Year,” Duke suddenly said.
“I don’t love my betrothed.”
“…”
“But I have to marry them. Shiralund needs an immovable anchor even in the winter. The one I’m marrying will bring an immovable anchor as a marriage gift to Shiralund. I only need a harbor; I don’t marry them because I love them. If the son born of that omega can prove his lineage in the land of arrival, then I won’t need that person anymore.”
Niall had nothing to say, so he silently listened to Duke’s words.
“It’s something I really don’t want to do.”
There was bitterness in Duke’s voice.
“But I have to do it. That’s the difference between you and me. You can fall in love with men of the same gender and not have children. You’re free because you don’t have any responsibilities.”
On Duke’s shoulders, he bore the weight of the entire kingdom as he spoke in such a way.
He was a young king burdened with the North, needing to play tug-of-war between two empires, needing to marry to gain recognition from the Emperor of Prastos, needing to impregnate the bride to secure an heir, all while needing to treat his mental illness.
The first three issues were beyond what Niall could help with. But the last one was different.
“Back off. I’m tired.”
With a gesture devoid of emotion, Duke ordered Niall to leave. Niall lightly brushed his hand against Duke’s fingertips as he turned away, a gesture that wasn’t a grasp but a plea to look at him.
“You’ll manage, Duke. I believe in you.”
“What right do you have to comfort me?”
“Duke.”
Niall placed his hand on Duke’s fingertips again.
“It’s not about any right I have. It’s not even about daring. It’s just that, even if it’s fake, even if it’s temporary, until spring comes, we’re lovers.”
Having said his piece, Niall quickly bowed before Duke could call him back and turned away. And as the door closed, he sighed deeply, the fatigue settling heavily on his shoulders.
Snow would pile up and thin impressions would stack into emotions. That’s why, despite clashes and arguments, he had to meet Duke.
But if it was like this every day, it would be unbearable. Every time he met Duke, he felt like he was exhausting all his energy.
He truly was not an easy man.
∞ ∞ ∞
When Niall reunited with Gerard in the capital, Gerard informed him about Duke’s unfortunate engagement.
At the age of seven, young Duke was forced to be engaged to a woman twelve years his senior by the Emperor’s faction who sought to steal his bloodline. When they had their first encounter, the fiancée forcibly mounted Duke to steal his semen, and at that time, Duke was only ten years old.
Duke had many enemies. Even Niall, who knew little about politics, could sense the strange currents surrounding this land in the North.
A position guarded solely by the loyalty of the Northerners. The bloodline was more important than anything else.
In other words, if Duke’s blood flowed, anyone could take over this land.
The factions aiming for the future Duke of Shiralund constantly sent women to steal Duke’s seed. There were even rumors that some of the governesses who raised Duke had done so, which was why young Duke developed a fear of physical contact.
Young Duke eventually fled to the battlefield. To him, the battlefield felt much safer and more comfortable.
At that time, Duke was only thirteen years old.
Niall imagined the sight of a thirteen-year-old boy donning armor and heading to the battlefield. Duke was probably taller and sturdier than an average thirteen-year-old because he was an outstanding alpha, but still, he was only thirteen.
Until he heard that story, Niall wasn’t curious about the life Duke had led. But now, he wanted to hear more about the parts of the story that Gerard hadn’t told. Gerard had mentioned that Duke had been engaged several times afterward, but none of them ended well.
Niall went to find the tavern keeper to hear more about it. He visited the tavern keeper’s house, carrying the alcohol and meat he had asked Rosa to buy, and he was delighted as if he had found a lost brother.
He smoked a cigarette when offered, lost a few rounds of gambling happily when suggested, and even discreetly offered a glass of smuggled moonshine. The tavern keeper eagerly opened up and told Niall the story with enthusiasm when asked.
“Ah, Duke’s fiancées. I remember. I remember some and some I don’t.”
