As the bell signaling the end of the class rang, Yuwon quickly turned his head towards the window in the corridor. Despite being told not to lie down, his eyes were busy searching for Hyun Gyujin, who had been kicked out again for lying down. Being so tall, Hyun Gyujin should have been visible no matter where he stood by the window, but he was nowhere to be seen. Yuwon stood up from his seat, went out through the back door, and scanned the corridor, but there was still no sign of Hyun Gyujin.
Where did he go? Yuwon took out his phone and opened the chat with Hyun Gyujin, asking where he was. As soon as he sent the message, the number 1 that appeared before the message disappeared, and Hyun Gyujin’s response came up.
[Where are you?]
[Gyujin: In front of the stairs to the Cloud Bridge]
[Gyujin: Come down to the school store]
Reading Hyun Gyujin’s response, Yuwon turned towards the stairs. He had told him to stay in the corridor, so when did he go downstairs? He wondered why he didn’t understand that not listening to instructions would make him treated like a mischievous child or even misunderstood as someone who causes trouble or fights. Wasn’t it unfair? Yuwon put his phone back into the pocket of his uniform jacket and descended the stairs.
As the students going to the school store passed threateningly by Yuwon’s side, he tightly grasped the handrail as they hurried down the stairs. Ever since he felt dizzy and stumbled on the stairs once before, he had become more careful whenever he went up or down stairs.
When he grabbed the handrail and turned the corner, he saw Hyun Gyujin below the stairs again. He could have just stayed there, but the moment Yuwon took a step towards where he was, someone forcefully bumped into him from behind.
“Oh…!”
Although he had been holding onto the handrail, his body tilted suddenly from the shock of the impact from behind. It should have been terrifying, but strangely, he felt relieved. It was because he suddenly saw Hyun Gyujin approaching him with his hand outstretched.
His leaning body came into contact with Hyun Gyujin’s embrace. Despite the considerable shock from the impact, Hyun Gyujin firmly wrapped his arms around Yuwon’s back, protecting him from falling with his other hand wrapped around Yuwon’s neck, as if enclosing him in his arms.
Yuwon, still unable to breathe due to the feeling of their bodies pressing against each other and the strong pressure of Hyun Gyujin’s arms on his back, finally breathed out a trembling breath. He couldn’t move at all because Hyun Gyujin didn’t let go, even though he should have.
“Hey, what the hell? Can’t you walk straight? You almost fell down the stairs, didn’t you? Why are you hitting people and walking away, huh? Are you out of your mind?”
“Oh… s-sorry…”
“Sorry? You’ve already hit someone and walked away. Why sorry now? If I hadn’t caught you, Jung Yuwon would have fallen. Even then, all you say is, ‘Oh, sorry.’ Do you want to fight?”
Hyun Gyujin continued to scold someone Yuwon didn’t even know. Although he should intervene, his body still wouldn’t move. It felt like heat emanated from where their bodies touched. The pressure of lips against his shoulder, and the familiar yet too pleasant scent of Hyun Gyujin entering his body, all felt so awkward.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
“…”
Pa kjr olgw jcv kjgw. Tekbc yeglfv tlr ojmf lcab Lsec Xseplc’r rtbeivfg mbwqifafis. Lf ofia j riluta qgfrregf ogbw atf tjcv kgjqqfv jgbecv tlr cfmx. Llr tfjga kjr gjmlcu fzmfrrlnfis. Dflcu atlr mibrf klatbea jcs rqjmf ofia ilxf atfs kbeiv yf mjeuta, fzqbrlcu tlr offilcur.
What feelings? Yuwon unconsciously questioned the thought that came to mind. What do you mean by being caught? Why is my heart pounding?
“Aera mibrf sbeg fsfr…!”
Choi Haeyeong and Kim Junjae, who were nearby, seemed to realize the seriousness of the situation and approached to calm Hyun Gyujin down. Choi Haeyeong quickly told the unknown person to leave, while Kim Junjae told Hyun Gyujin to stop.
“What are you doing? What’s wrong with you? If Jung Yuwon got hurt, are you going to take responsibility for him?”
“He almost suffocated to death because of you. Are you trying to strangle him?”
Only then did Hyun Gyujin realize that he was holding Yuwon so tightly that he couldn’t move, and he quickly released his arms. Then he bent down and gently touched Yuwon’s face, which had turned red.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah… I’m fine.”
“Are you hurt anywhere? Twisted ankle, sore arm, anything? Try moving.”
Yuwon demonstrated by shaking both arms, showing that he could move them without any problem. Finally relieved, Hyun Gyujin grabbed both of Yuwon’s arms tightly and pressed his forehead against his shoulder.
“Man, we almost had a big problem.”
“Sorry, I startled you.”
“Why are you sorry? The crazy bastard who hit and ran is the crazy one. Ah, damn. It’s not just something you can let go of.”
As they looked around, they noticed a few students passing by, who glanced at Hyun Gyujin and quickly dispersed in different directions.
Yuwon’s gaze still rested on Hyun Gyujin’s face. While anger was brewing inside him, the worried expression in Hyun Gyujin’s eyes as they met again, absorbing the confused emotions, was all Yuwon could do at the moment.
The feeling of Hyun Gyujin’s arms still tightly wrapped around him lingered. The sensation of their bodies aligning perfectly, Hyun Gyujin reaching out towards him, flashed in Yuwon’s mind. The pleasant scent emanating from his neck and uniform, and the warm feeling of his hand pressing against Yuwon’s neck, were all too vivid.
Hyun Gyujin’s embrace just now was merely an “accident.” Yuwon knew too well that it was to protect him from a potential injury, and it held no other meaning. Yet, why was his heart swaying in a completely different direction? The situation of a friend almost getting hurt and the fluttering feeling didn’t match at all. Moreover, if the other party was his childhood friend of 18 years, Hyun Gyujin, it made it even more absurd.
But the unthinkable had happened, and now Yuwon couldn’t pretend not to notice anymore. Still unable to turn away from his pounding heart, Yuwon looked at Hyun Gyujin.
“Are you really okay? Your face is red.”
That’s… because of you. Because of you, it’s like this. The words trapped inside his mouth tickled his lips. But unable to voice them, Yuwon simply shook his head.
“I’m really okay.”
It’s okay that I almost fell, but it’s not okay that I touched you. What should I do, Gyujin? I keep trembling whenever I see you. My heart races whenever you touch me. Your usual actions, words, expressions all seem so different now. I can’t even make eye contact with you, and whenever you smile, my fingertips itch.
What should I do? I think… I might like you.
***
Hyun Gyujin appeared in Yuwon’s dreams again. It had been ten days since the incident where he almost fell down the stairs, in other words, since the day Hyun Gyujin embraced him. How could he dream about his friend every day? Yuwon became afraid of sleeping.
But being afraid didn’t mean he could avoid sleeping altogether. He resisted and resisted, but whenever he dozed off, Hyun Gyujin would inevitably appear.
At first, he would touch Yuwon’s face or neck, then the next day, his lips. And the following day, he would press his lips against Yuwon’s ear and neck. The more Yuwon resisted, the more vivid Hyun Gyujin became. He thought excessive consciousness might have the opposite effect, but he didn’t know how to stop it.
Today, as always, Hyun Gyujin appeared and comfortably covered Yuwon’s body on his bed. Yuwon wanted to wake up, yet didn’t want to at the same time. Feeling guilty for engaging in this with Hyun Gyujin even in a dream, yet daring enough to think, “It’s just a dream, so what?” Yuwon was startled yet again. But dreams were not under Yuwon’s control. He couldn’t easily wake up just because he wanted to, nor could he continue indefinitely just because he didn’t want to wake up.
“Jung Yuwon, why did it take you so long when you went to shower last time?” Hyun Gyujin asked, touching my ear. Yuwon couldn’t respond. In my dreams, he only occasionally answered, my words sparse.
“It took over an hour, you know?”
“…Did it?”
“Yeah. It took so long that I went to check, and weird noises were coming out.”
Even in the dream, my heart sank at that sound. Yuwon, pale, looked down at Hyun Gyujin, who was smiling and pressing his shoulder. Their eyes met.
“If you want to, just say it.”
“N-no… It’s not like that…”
“What’s not like that, Yuwon?”
“It’s really not like that…”
Hyun Gyujin’s face drew closer. Our gazes, meeting at such proximity, couldn’t fully encompass each other. We were too close to see each other entirely.
“You like me, don’t you?”
Waking up with a start, Yuwon’s breath caught in his throat. Sensing his heart pounding fiercely, he exhaled the held breath. In the space left by his awakening, Hyun Gyujin’s voice lingered like an echo.
Since realizing that he might like Hyun Gyujin, he had appeared in their dreams, repeating the same words as if to remind him of reality.
You like me.
Every time that phrase came to mind, Yuwon acted as if he were the first person to ever entertain the idea of liking someone. It seemed natural to him. In the dream, when Hyun Gyujin said he liked him, Yuwon knew too well that it wasn’t a phrase that could apply to an 18-year childhood friend.
I’ve never dated anyone, never experienced the common crush or first love that people often talk about, but even so, I knew that what I did with Hyun Gyujin in my dreams, that phrase “liking him,” was something I couldn’t share with just a “friend.” Maybe I had known since my heart thumped and raced uncontrollably whenever I saw Hyun Gyujin.
