These words struck like thunder in Shen An’s heart, causing a rush of violent waves.
But after years of habit, his emotions didn’t show on his face.
He should be grateful.
King An took him in when he was helpless and raised him lovingly for many years. Now he was even worrying about his marriage.
He should be grateful.
However, his lips moved slightly, but no words of agreement could come out.
Why?
Before he could figure it out, he heard King An say in confusion, “Hm?”
There seemed to be a touch of anger, with a condescending majesty.
The atmosphere in the hall instantly became quiet, and everyone’s eyes fell on him.
Shen An felt like thorns were piercing his back, and could not sit still.
“…yes-“
“Father.” Before he could finish his words, he was interrupted by Yan Chun.
King An turned his head and looked at Yan Chun with a smile as usual, but the smile did not reach his eyes.
“What’s wrong, Chun’er?”
Yan Chun moved his seat closer to King An, holding his arm and acting coquettish as usual, “Father, please don’t let Brother Shen An get married yet, okay?”
“Why?” The smile on King An’s face grew milder and his eyes grew colder.
Yan Chun also seemed to notice something, letting go of King An’s arm and sitting up straighter.
“If Brother Shen An gets married, it will be inconvenient for me to go and play with him again. How about you let Brother Shen An accompany me for a few more years?”
King An raised his hand and held his head, saying in an angry tone, “Chun’er, in two years’ time you will be a crown prince. You will soon be an official. You can no longer be as careless as a child, thinking about having fun.”
“But…”
“No buts!” King An’s voice suddenly dropped low, but only for a moment, and then regained its gentleness, “This matter has been settled. After An’er gets married, it will be time to discuss your marriage too.”
“Yes!” Queen An looked at the two of them happily, and said sentimentally, “These children have really grown up.”
King An nodded when he heard this and looked at Shen An with a smile, as if he was waiting for an answer.
Shen An couldn’t remain silent, and could only droop his eyelids to hide the look in his eyes.
“Thank you, Your Majesty!” he replied.
–
That night.
Yan Chun was sitting on the floor of the library, holding a poem book in his hands.
His eyes were glued to the book, seemingly reading it seriously, but the attendant on the side knew that the book had been opened to this page and the prince had not turned the page again.
The attendant looked at the darkened sky outside the window, and reminded in a low voice, “Your Highness, it is already the hour of pig, it is time to rest.”
Hearing his voice, Yan Chun finally snapped out of his daze, but did not move. Instead, he raised his hand to turn a page of the book and said lightly, “I will keep reading for a while.”
“Your Highness, reading at night hurts your eyes, otherwise…”
Before he finished speaking, Yan Chun’s emotionless voice sounded.
“A pot of wine among the flowers, drinking alone with no company. Raise a glass to toast the moon, three people sit facing each other.”
Originally, he was just reciting it unconsciously, but as soon as he came across the word “people”, he suddenly became mute.
“Your Highness?”
Yan Chun didn’t respond. He turned around and glanced outside. Through the window, he could see the brightly shining moon.
“The moon doesn’t know to drink, and its shadow only follows me. For a while, the moon will cast its shadow, and I will have fun in spring.” It was a poem that he had memorized by heart. He could recite it without needing to read the text.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
The book fell to the ground and Yan Chun stood up.
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There were all sorts of women on it.
Some were beautiful, some were gentle and dignified.
Yan Chun inexplicably felt uncomfortable.
But as usual, he ran to Shen An with a smile, clung to his arm and asked knowingly, “Brother, what are you doing?”
Shen An pushed him away as if he was burned by fire. His voice was light and held no trace of sadness or joy, “Choosing a mate.”
Yan Chun suddenly felt the smile on his face become unbearable.
He turned away, his gaze fell on the portraits on the table, and he picked up a piece and looked at it, “Have picked one out yet? Which one do you like?”
Shen An shook his head. “Not yet.”
Yan Chun said with a smile, “There are so many beauties, my brother is spoiled for choice.”
Shen An turned around to look out the window, and without looking at him, replied calmly, “Somewhat.”
From his angle, Yan Chun could not see Shen An’s expression, but saw his Adam’s apple rolling slightly.
For some reason, Yan Chun actually wanted to get close to him and kiss him.
When he realized what he was thinking, his heart was instantly confused and the tips of his ears turned red.
He put down the portrait in his hand, and casually picked up another one in a panic, talking to Shen An as if he was eager to hide something, “Brother, this one is pretty good.”
Shen An turned his head when he heard his words and took the portrait from his hands without looking at it, but his fingertips clutched too tightly and wrinkled the edges, just like footprints embedded on an expanse of pristine white snow.
“Alright.” Shen An twitched the corner of his mouth, smiling at him as usual.
Yan Chun suddenly felt sour in his heart, as if someone had cut him open and poured a bowl of bitter wine. He felt so uncomfortable that he wanted to cry.
Yan Chun didn’t know what was wrong with him.
There was a sudden burst of anger.
He stood up and said in a bitter tone, “Then congratulations to Brother Shen An in advance.”
After saying that, without waiting for Shen An’s reply, he walked out without looking back.
–
“Zi You, bring me some wine.” Yan Chun suddenly said.
“Your Highness, if you drink wine at such a late hour, you will have a headache tomorrow.”
Yan Chun impatiently emphasized his tone, “Go quickly!”
The attendant had no choice but to get up and bring him wine.
The King and Queen were very strict, and Yan Chun had never drunk much wine since he was a child. After only three drinks, he became erratic.
He picked up the wine glass and gazed at the moon. His cheeks were flushed and his tongue was slightly knotted. “He wants to get married. You can get drunk with me.”
As he spoke, he downed the wine in his glass in one gulp.
“Your Highness, stop drinking.” The attendant came over worriedly and reached out to take the wine from his hand.
Yan Chun pushed him away, picking up the wine bottle and hugging it, “Leave me alone.”
“Your Highness.” Zi You softened his tone and slowly coaxed him, “You can’t drink any more. It will be bad if the king finds out tomorrow.”
When Yan Chun heard this, he glared at him, “I’m not a child anymore. Can’t I do this?”
As he spoke, it was unclear what he was thinking. His voice sounded a bit aggrieved, “I’m not a child anymore, I’m not a child anymore.”
He took a sip directly from the wine bottle.
When the attendant saw this, he was startled and reached out to grab the bottle from Yan Chun, but he was pushed away.
Then he saw him stumbling out.
“Your Highness, where are you going?” The attendant rushed to catch up.
Yan Chun turned around and ordered him, “Go back, don’t follow me.”
“But…”
“Go back!” Yan Chun had never been so serious. The attendant was stunned, halting in his steps. He nodded and said, “Yes.”
Yan Chun ignored him and continued walking away.
He actually didn’t have a destination in mind, but his steps seemed to know the direction and walked straight forward.
He seemed to have a premonition and took another sip as if emboldened.
By the time he stopped at the familiar doorway, he was already half drunk.
Although he had arrived, Yan Chun didn’t dare knock on the door for a while. He sat on the ground holding the wine bottle and began to recall where he had memorized the poem.
“I sing and wander around the moon…my dancing shadows are scattered….we make love when we are awake….we scatter when we are drunk…”
Alcohol corroded his nerves, and his brain became dazed, intermittently reciting the poem.
Before he could finish reciting it, the door behind him suddenly opened.
Yan Chun turned around and saw Shen An, dressed in moon-white inner robes, standing at the door as he looked down at him quietly.
Yan Chun propped his chin with one hand and smiled, “Brother, you are not asleep yet.”
Shen An stretched out his hand to help him up. He looked at the wine bottle in his hand and frowned slightly, “Are you drinking?”
“Yeah.” Yan Chun nodded, throwing himself into his arms as usual, and closed his eyes, “Brother, I’m dizzy, please hold me.”
Shen An’s body stiffened for a moment, but he still responded, “Okay.”
He reached out and lifted Yan Chun off the ground, walking out as he whispered, “I’ll take you back.”
However, as soon as he took a step, he felt a small resistance.
Shen An lowered his head and saw Yan Chun’s little finger holding the door, refusing to leave.
“I don’t want to go back.” Yan Chun said, putting his arms around Shen An’s neck, “How about I sleep with my brother tonight? Just like we did when we were kids.”
Shen An felt so shaken that he was speechless for a moment. He bit his lips until he tasted blood, suppressing the emotions in his heart.
“No! I’ll take you back.” Shen An refused.
“Brother.” Yan Chun’s voice was laced with a hint of pain. He frowned and said pitifully, “I have a headache.”
A crack finally appeared in Shen An’s resolve, and he hurriedly asked, “Does it hurt a lot?”
“Mhm.” Yan Chun nodded.
Shen An no longer hesitated, turning around and entering the house with him in his arms. He carefully placed him on the bed, covered him with a quilt, then picked up his clothes and started to put them on.
“I’ll go get the medic.”
As soon as he said that, he saw Yan Chun sitting up, smiling like a cunning little fox.
“You!” Shen An understood instantly.
He took off his clothes, sighed, then stepped forward and covered him with the quilt again, “You can sleep here if you want. I’ll sleep in the study.”
When Yan Chun heard this, his round eyes blinked, and the ends of his eyes turned red, “Why? Didn’t we often sleep together before?”
“It’s different now.” Shen looked at his moist eyes and lowered his voice, fearing that if he were not careful, the tears would fall out.
Yan Chun turned his head away and said harshly, “Because you are getting married? From now on, you are going to sleep with someone else here, right?”
Yan Chun said, patting the jade pillow beside him.
Shen An patted his arm across the quilt, as if to comfort him, “In a few years, you will also get married.”
After hearing this, Yan Chun’s palms trembled slightly and he tightened his grip on the wine bottle in his arms.
The bottle had been warmed by him, but at some point, it had become cold again.
Shen An noticed his sadness, but suppressed it and said nothing.
After a long time, he stood up and said to Yan Chun, “Go to sleep early.”
Just as he was about to leave, his wrist was grabbed, and with a strong force, he was pulled back again.
As soon as he sat down on the bed, he saw Yan Chun crawling out of the quilt and kneeling in front of him.
“Brother, I think there is something wrong with me.”
The distance between them was a little too close, and Shen An found it a little difficult to breathe.
“What?”
Yan Chun lowered his head, and a large blush spread from his neck to the tips of his ears.
“I don’t want you to get married.”
Hearing this, a trace of pain flashed in Shen An’s eyes, and he spoke in a dry voice, “It’s inevitable that you will be unused to it for a while. I promise, whether I get married or not, you will always be the most important person in my heart.”
“It’s not that I’m not used to it.” Yan Chun grabbed his hand and put it against his chest.
As if being burned by fire, Shen An wanted to yank his hand away, but was held down tightly.
Yan Chun suppressed his shyness, looked at him, and said, “It feels very uncomfortable here, and I also feel very…jealous.”
“Don’t talk nonsense.” Shen An scolded softly.
Yan Chun couldn’t hold it back any longer and burst into tears. He rushed over, hugged Shen An, and choked with sobs, “Brother, why do you think this is? This kind of feeling is so strange. I don’t want you to marry someone else. The thought of someone else spending the rest of their life with you makes me crazy with envy. Brother, do you think I like you?”
After hearing the last sentence, Shen An couldn’t help it any longer. He stretched out his arms and hugged Yan Chun, holding him tightly in his arms, as if he wanted to fuse his body with his own.
His eyes were sore and he almost shed tears, but his voice was cold and harsh, “No, we grew up together, you are simply not used to it.”
When Yan Chun heard this, he broke away from his arms and glared at him.
“No!” He said bitterly, “It’s not that I’m not used to it.”
Shen An turned his head and stood up to leave, but was pulled back by Yan Chun again.
“Well, do I like you? Brother, do I like you?” Yan Chun buried his head in Shen An’s palm, his tears burning him.
Shen An closed his eyes tightly. After a long time, he sighed and finally made up his mind.
Then he sat down again and took Yan Chun in his arms.
Yan Chun finally let him and cried harder.
Shen An wiped his tears with his sleeve and coaxed in a gentle voice, “Stop crying.”
Yan Chun felt even worse. While crying, he asked, “Brother, do I like you?”
Hearing this, Shen An sighed, pressed their foreheads together, and gazed into his eyes, “Wouldn’t you know that better?”
Yan Chun hugged him tightly, his head buried in his shoulders, and said in a hoarse and heartfelt voice, “I like you, I like you.”
Shen An turned his head and looked at the person in his arms. His eyes darkened, his lips lightly pressing on his long hair, and he replied, “I like you too.”
Yan Chun was tired of crying and finally ceased his tears. He rested his head on Shen An’s shoulder. When he turned his head, he saw his slightly open robes and Adam’s apple.
Yan Chun suddenly became flustered. His fingers tightly grasped Shen An’s sleeves, his forehead rubbed against his neck, and he slowly raised his head and leaned towards him.
He came a bit closer and pressed his lips to his.
However, it only took a moment before he was pushed away by Shen An.
Yan Chun was a little disappointed. He had merely touched his lips, so he raised his head and whined in a dissatisfied manner, “Brother.”
Shen An ignored him, pushing him back into the quilt, and said seriously, “Sleep.”
Yan Chun curled his lips and said aggrievedly, “You just said you like me, but you’re not even willing to kiss me?”
Shen An’s eyes averted, and he turned his head, repeating, “Sleep.”
Seeing his resolute attitude, Yan Chun had no choice but to lie down. He turned his head and saw the wine bottle that had just been casually thrown to the pillow. He suddenly had an idea.
There was no sound from the bed for a long time. Shen An thought Yan Chun had fallen asleep, so he slowly turned his head.
Unexpectedly, as soon as he turned around, Yan Chun’s face enlarged in front of him, and something soft touched his lips.
As soon as Shen An realized that it was Yan Chun’s lips, a mouthful of wine was pushed into his mouth.
He was unaware what kind of wine this was, but it was really intoxicating. Shen An felt dizzy, and felt like his entire body was about to float.
Then he saw Yan Chun’s lips moving, asking, “Brother, we are both drunk, so it is alright.”
Shen An wanted to answer, but was speechless. He simply stretched out his hand to clasp Yan Chun’s head and kissed him.
💔
Thank you for the update.
I was so scared thinking they’re gonna get caught in the act
Thabks for the chapter!
I feel sad in advance for them, they’re really tragic 🙁
This is so sad, I feel so bad for them.