Chapter 58: Dark Clouds Disperse
The thunder roared and the downpour pounded the dilapidated eaves, like furious drumbeats.
Song Qingshi was awakened by the sound of the thunder and the rain. He felt light-headed and his memory was a bit fragmented. He felt a bit of discomfort on his lips. It seemed to be a little red and swollen. There were more and more cracks on the Nascent Soul in his Dantian and sealing them up was becoming ever more difficult…
He sat on the bed, thinking for a long time. Finally, he recovered part of his memory. The two of them had gone on top of the nine-storied pagoda to admire the moon and the lights. He invited Yue Wuhuan to share the wine, Intoxicated Beauty, with him. After drinking, Yue Wuhuan played a wonderful song. But he had taken advantage of his drunken state and like a beast, had forced a kiss on Yue Wuhuan! Because of his high cultivation, Yue Wuhuan had been unable to resist and he forcibly kissed him several times!
What kind of brutish conduct was this? !
Song Qingshi panicked into becoming a dog. He wanted to dig a hole and bury himself under 18 layers of dirt!
The sound of Yue Wuhuan’s footsteps came from outside the door. They sounded a bit heavy.
Song Qingshi felt like he was listening to a death sentence. He didn’t know if kneeling and apologizing could get him two layers of dirt less.
Yue Wuhuan opened the door and walked in, dripping wet and covered in mud and blood.
Song Qingshi took a deep breath, ready to admit his mistake, but then, he suddenly smelled the scent of blood. He realized that something had happened to Yue Wuhuan. All the embarrassing things that happened last night were driven from his mind. He quickly lifted open the canopy screen and jumped out of bed. He rushed before Yue Wuhuan and saw that his whole body was drenched. He looked like a drowned rat. Blood had mixed with the rainwater, mixing together into a sticky liquid. A few strands of his messy hair clung to the golden mask, dripping with cold water.
Yue Wuhuan looked at his slightly red and swollen lips. All color fled from his eyes.
“What’s the matter?” Song Qingshi called out to him a few times. Seeing that he remained dazed and unresponsive, he felt a little anxious. Although cultivators couldn’t catch colds, their bodies would still feel uncomfortable from being all wet. He decided to fetch a towel and wiped the water from his body for him. He took out a change of clothes from his mustard seed bag. After a moment’s hesitation, he asked carefully, “Can you undress yourself?”
Yue Wuhuan finally came back to his senses. He took off his mask, untied his belt and one by one, took off his rain-drenched clothes. As he did so, he revealed the marks of countless insect bites. Every wound by itself wasn’t serious but they covered almost every inch of his body. Especially his originally slender and perfect legs, now they were covered in tiny scars. Many of the wounds carried poison that was spreading out. Swollen and bruised, they created a ghastly sight.
Song Qingshi recognized An Long’s handiwork with a single glance. The expression on his face turned extremely ugly. He suppressed his fury with all his might and managed to remain calm.
Yue Wuhuan had already used the Detoxification Pill to neutralize most of the poison. Song Qingshi brandished the Underworld Fire and extracted all the common poisons for him. However, An Long had done extensive research on Gu poisons, and some of the Gu’s had special poisons, similar to a fungal disease. These couldn’t be resolved by the Underworld Ghost Fire. They needed to be slowly treated with medicine.
And he had helped to develop this fungal disease…
Song Qingshi thought of the past and bursts of pain appeared in his chest.
He quickly treated Yue Wuhuan’s wounds, smearing a thick layer of ointment and then wrapping it with layers of gauze.
The thunder stopped but the sound of the rain was still as madding as ever. The atmosphere in the room was oppressively heavy.
Song Qingshi finally dealt with the last injury. He raised his head and gave an earnest apology, “I’m sorry.”
Yue Wuhuan was dazed.
“It’s my fault. I shouldn’t made you two travel together,” Song Qingshi explained with difficulty, “I should have expected it. How can animosity be so easily eliminated? How can friends be so easily made? Incompatible people just shouldn’t be gathered together. …I’ll teach An Long a good lesson and then take you back. In the future, I will only allow him to write letters. He won’t be allowed entry to the valley and he also won’t be allowed to meet you.”
Novels were a scam. In this world, there wasn’t any such good thing as a friendship coming from an exchange of blows.
All of it was his naive stupidity, his own wishful thinking.
Song Qingshi was so guilty that he scolded himself viciously in his heart. He only hated that the words he knew were too little, his curses not fierce enough.
Yue Wuhuan lowered his phoenix eyes and whispered, “Master, I have something very important to tell you.”
…
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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He felt like he had woken up from a very strange dream.
Yue Wuhuan had already told him the entirety of the matter and was waiting quietly for his decision.
Song Qingshi slowly closed his eyes. He checked his body over and over with his mental probe, looking for signs of injury. He spent a long time searching and finally caught a dead Gu in his brain. This Gu was very small in size, it’s color was almost no different from flesh and blood. It wasn’t painful and it didn’t itch, making it impossible to detect.
This was the assailant who almost took his life.
If it hadn’t been for the system promptly sending back his soul fragment from another world, once again restoring his body, he would have already died.
“I don’t remember anymore,” Song Qingshi looked at the Gu in his palm, stroking his forehead. Pained, he tried to recall for a long time and finally said, “I don’t remember that he has this kind of feelings for me and I don’t remember what happened at that time… ”
Yue Wuhuan urged, “Master, don’t be sad. He must have relied on his identity as your friend to attack you when you were off guard.”
The Underworld Ghost Fire suddenly appeared in mid-air, turning into a beautiful black lotus.
“Wuhuan, do you remember?” Song Qingshi held the black lotus in both hands and whispered softly, “My Ghost Fire will automatically attack at the appearance of any killing intent. This…An Long doesn’t know this.”
If An Long had any killing intent towards him, he would definitely have noticed. The Gu in his brain could have also been destroyed by the Ghost Fire…
The battle between two Nascent Soul cultivators would have been enough to level an entire mountain.
And yet, he had been killed quietly.
Why?
A bad premonition rose up in Yue Wuhuan’s heart. Something was getting out of hand…
“I don’t remember what happened at that time but after taking out the Gu, I remembered the frame of mind I was in when I died. There was no resentment or anger.” Song Qingshi thought it was funny. He wanted to laugh but couldn’t produce any laughter. He lowered his head and said quietly, “Wuuan, I may have been killed voluntarily…”
“Don’t speak nonsense! This is impossible!” Yue Wuhuan clutched his shoulders tightly and asked fearfully, “Why?”
“I don’t know,” Song Qingshi just couldn’t remember the scene at the time. It was already extremely painful. “Even if he doesn’t think of me as a friend, but…I can’t lie; I can’t deceive myself; I can’t deceive his feelings. At that time, I couldn’t give him what he wants, but… I could give my life. Because it wasn’t anything important and even if I died no one would have been sad.”
Every day, he refined medicine by himself, read by himself, performed research by himself. He cultivated by himself, watched the clouds by himself…
It made no difference whether he was alive or dead, and no one cared.
His soul, stranded in another world, was even worse off. The various serious illnesses caused by its incomplete creation, his hopeless future, brought great pain to his family. But everyone forced themselves to smile in front of him. But could one possibly adopt a philosophical attitude towards this kind of matter? So, his parents secretly shed tears behind his back. In order to take care of him, his sister gave up on her dreams and picked up a heavy burden. He caused countless troubles for everyone. He could only learn to be strong, learn to be brave, to make everyone think he didn’t care. But lying on the hospital bed, he got to understand, him dying was the only way for everyone to break free of their pain and regain their happiness.
After he bid farewell to that world, he never longed for his family again.
No one needed him to live.
No one……
Yue Wuhuan was extremely astonished. He never thought that Song Qingshi, who would always gently encourage him, had such thoughts in his heart.
For the first time, he discovered that he actually didn’t understand this simple-minded person.
No, it’s impossible…
Yue Wuhuan was a little panicked. He felt that something was getting out of control.
“Don’t worry. That was before. I hadn’t met you yet,” Song Qingshi noticed that there was something wrong with him, and quickly comforted him, “After knowing you, I now had a goal in my heart. I won’t do such foolish things again. I want to always accompany you so I won’t entertain those stupid thoughts again…”
Yue Wuhuan’s breathing was a little rapid. He stiffly comforted, “You are not stupid.”
“No, I’m really stupid. Now that I think about it seriously, An Long’s mind has long revealed many flaws. I made up various reasons to convince myself and turned a blind eye to it.” Song Qingshi felt guiltier the more the thought about it. He kept apologizing, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I just…I’m very envious, envious of how others have friends. Friends they can pull to go shopping together, to make plans to go to festivals with, to fight and quarrel over trivial matters together. Friends with whom they could be stupid together, could laugh with together… So I, I ignored those wrong points and followed him in everything…”
In this world, he was born with poisonous fire. No one dared to approach him, no one dared to talk to him, no one dared to be friends with him.
In the other world, his body had been too fragile. Everyone was afraid of things going wrong, afraid of being held responsible. They were sympathetic and considerate but didn’t dare get too close.
No one had ever asked him to go to the movies, to go shopping, to go to Internet cafes, to go to parties, to go to karaoke, to play ball…
Occasionally, he would encounter someone who didn’t know his situation, wanting to approach but his low EQ quickly drove them away.
Slowly, he grew not to expect…
Yue Wuhuan could feel his glib tongue getting all tied up. He could only dryly repeat the words of comfort he had just said, “You are not stupid.”
“Don’t worry, I won’t speak of these sad matters anymore,” Song Qingshi found that Yue Wuhuan seemed unhappy and he quickly revealed a smile. He thought about it, and said embarrassedly, “Actually, I should have known it a long time ago. How could anyone be willing to be friends with someone like me?”
His eyes strived hard to smile. They were curved in a smile but in them, drop after drop of tears gushed forth, unable to be stopped.
“Huh?” Song Qingshi found that he was crying and was somewhat baffled. He continued to laugh while wiping his tears. “It’s okay, I’m not sad. I’m not at all sad, don’t worry…”
Suddenly, his voice stopped.
He, who was ever so obtuse, finally understood the feeling in his heart.
However, this feeling was illogical. There was no way he could want it.
He was strong. He wasn’t afraid of pain. He would not cause trouble to others. He could resolve everything on his own…
Song Qingshi lowered his head. He didn’t dare let anyone see such cowardice.
“I’m sorry.” Yue Wuhuan finally panicked. He stretched out his arms and held the crying person tightly into his arms. The low, muffled sobs stabbed painfully into his soul. Countless tears fell on his newly changed robe. The dampness was a little uncomfortable. He lowered his head and kept gently stroking his trembling back, trying to apologize, “I shouldn’t have made you sad.”
Song Qingshi whispered, “You didn’t do anything wrong. The truth won’t disappear just because I pretend not to see it.”
He will continue to be strong but for now, he was rather unable to control his emotions.
“Wuhuan, let me cry for a while, okay?”
“En, I’ll stay with you. I’ll always stay with you.”
“Wuhuan, am I ridiculous?”
“No, you could never be ridiculous.”
“…”
The dark clouds gradually dissipated and the rain slowly stopped. The sun revealed its face once again.
If you fail, do a self-inspection. If you fail, start over again…
If you sink into the sadness of failure, you will forever miss the most beautiful scenery.
Song Qingshi spent a lot of time before he finally stopped his tears. He stabilized his emotions and stood up again.
Yue Wuhuan looked at him worriedly.
“I’m fine now,” Song Qingshi was a little sad, but his voice was firm, “Since it was a mistake, I have to correct it. I don’t have that kind of affection for An Long. I can’t give him what he wants and I can’t forgive him for what he’s done, so… …I won’t have any dealings with him again.”
Yue Wuhuan became silent.
The evil wolf’s true face was uncovered and he was banished forever.
Master will be far from danger. He will return to the Medicine King’s Valley and live a peaceful life.
He should be very happy, but why can’t he smile?
He even wanted to revise the plan, wanted to personally tear apart that spider web he had worked so hard to weave…
Without knowing it, Yue Wuhuan opened his mouth, “I will treat you even better in the future. I won’t ever make you sad again.”
Song Qingshi raised his head in surprise.
“I’ll accompany you to festivals, go shopping with you, and accompany you on adventures. I’ll do all kinds of fun things with you.” Yue Wuhuan had no idea what he was saying. All these things were not in his plans. It was all wrong, but he couldn’t control his heart, he couldn’t control his mouth, and made promises one after another, “I will accompany you to do everything you like; watching clouds, reading, experimenting, traveling, playing music… you won’t be lonely.”
Song Qingshi looked at him, stunned. Suddenly his eyes were once again covered by watery mist and he couldn’t see clearly.
His Nascent Soul was in terrible pain, but he didn’t care.
Yue Wuhuan raised his head and gently wiped away his tears, “Don’t be sad, you deserve the best.”
He wanted to give him the most flawless gems, the most gorgeous flowers, the most perfect man.
He wanted him to be happy, far away from any worries, without any more pain…
Song Qingshi couldn’t help laughing. He touched his still somewhat swollen lips, and finally remembered the confused and crazy kiss last night. Fearing that he might misunderstand again, he cautiously asked, “You once said that you and An Long felt the same way for me. If An Long isn’t a friend, then what about you…”
Yue Wuhuan was stunned…
He finally remembered his insane and terrifying desires; remembered those dirty thoughts that mustn’t be seen by people.
Song Qingshi asked seriously, “Wuhuan, are you a friend?”
Yue Wuhuan went stiff from head to toe.
Such simple words, each one puncturing the line of defense around his heart.
It was as though he had seen his grave and heard the sound of the death knell.
Woaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Qingshi……😭
This chapter….the author really wasn’t lying when they said everyone’s psychological problems will be exposed one by one….Qingshi’s loneliness has become increasingly obvious the more he realizes how much he likes Wuhuan as a friend/possible love interest, and I really like the way that romance is the catalyst for each of the main cast to confront their own psychological problems in the course of striving for connection.
OMG Author is faceslapping me with all these emotional changes!
And yes, shitty behavior is shitty.
From the plot when the book started, I really wouldn’t have expected for it evolve like this 😶
Yue Wuhuan: I seem to have dug myself a pit, what should I do? Urgently waiting online
Dear lunatic beauty, just lay in the pit you dug. It fits perfectly 😀
giggles
Ayayayayayayayayay………
That ending, Wuhuan you’re in deep shit, your secret is exposed.
Thank you for the chapter
Now my thoughts went on a whole ass 180!! So Qingshi was already depressed and suicidal before and he willingly died when he rejected An Long??? Bruh?? Plot twist!
What An Long did was quite hateful. He knows he cultivates the way of the heartless but wanted more than what MC could give, unlike for ML MC has somewhat feelings for despite how much his cultivation is hindering him. An Long and both ML priorities their own greed above their lover’s happiness but only ML here regrets it, where as An Long lashes out on everything (MC) included for not getting what he wants. ML was right that it was shameless of him to return to MC’s side pretending it’s fine. Even if he was forgiven, he shouldn’t forgive himself like wtf where did this guilty conscience go
Just my opinion and I could be wrong. Rather than An long lashing out on Qingshi for not loving him, it was more likely that he was so emotionally unstable that he couldn’t control the demonic side of him, causing it to suddenly go with the instinct to murder. Since in chapter 42 the author described demons them as creatures with bodies that desire for killing and that half demons eventually grow up becoming like them. So I feel like it wasn’t An Long’s fault for his demonic side taking over.
i totally agree with you, though what An long did was wrong,, i feel like he shouldn’t be blamed for something he can’t fully control.
Sorry, unintentionally clicked on reply than just a normal comment. Too blind with anger rn towards 2nd ML
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:3
Thx for the ch (ㅅ˘ㅂ˘)
So all the tribulations aren’t really for our family’s Huanhuan, but for Song Qingshi?
Thanks for the Chapter!
So all the small instances of Qungshi being unable to interact with others – It was foreshadowing and not because Qingshi was stupidly cute? 😭
why would social anxiety be cute?😭
Also, this chapter is really poetic. Many thanks, you’ve worked hard.
Me at therapy after finishing the book: And, suddenly we can’t blame An Long anymore, because turns out Song Qingshi died willingly…
Therapist, clipboard on the table far away: And? And?
Song Qingshi,,,, I love him so much and I understand him so well,,, he never got to have any friends so he would do anything if it was possible to keep them. But he deserves so much better!
Ok i like wuhuan but i suddenly feel sad for an long
thanks for the chapter~
Why Is everyone making me cry now aaaaahhhhhh T^T
i hope ur okay now!!
thank you :3 I’m much much better since I started college, maybe it’s the antidepressants that helped. my 5 months ago self wouldn’t believe how much I changed since then. I’m very much relieved that I didn’t waste more of my younger years being like that and stopped it before it was too late.
qingshi!!! TT +@;_+#$;+#+$+@+# aaaaaa head empty just tears
So, that was what happened. Aaaaaaaaa.. Qingshi’s truly a kind soul. Also, that question from Qingshi to Wuhuan’s real feelings, omg!!!
Also forgot to add, don’t you just love it when Wuhuan regrets a part of him when he thought of completely banishing An Long from Qingshi’s life? The character development we rarely see from a yandere gong. 😭 The author really bends all common tropes (which I sometimes hate) from BLs. 🥺
This chapter killed me softly and slowly
Oh, Qingshi 😢 Both versions were incredibly lonely and really wanted friendship. I hope this time, it works out for him 🥺
Thanks for the chapter 💕
Thanks for the chapter! Hope you have a nice day! ♥️
Me who’s studying psychology gets hit 3x by this chapter alone… Tears kept coming
This chapter was so sadddd,,, ugh my tears qwq
(╥﹏╥)
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
In todays episode: Yandere gong digs a pit for the while lotus shou, but falls in it himself instead!
Extra: “Can this white lotus really be more complicated than the surface I always see? Surely not!” the yandere gong proclaims!
Deep dive: yandere gong revealing his plan to slowly destroy the white lotus! “What? I just want to keep him safe!” – the horror unfolds, for more turn to page 2!
..and as always, thank you for the chapters!
Damn you onions cutting ninjas, leave me alone!
I’m crying again mom help me..
This book really was well thought of…
I can’t any more I relate to me too much help
OH MY GOD. I CANT SPEAK ANYMORE IM SO SHOCKED.
Aww I. Get why he can’t forgive him it’s just really sad, I really hope they can become friends in the future. That was too precious of an ending yes be the one to cure his loneliness. I like how the author did it make song song just a easy to re-character, everybody in real life has some thing that is a sore spot for them.
I want to cry. Okay I’m crying. My heart hurts for them. 😭😭😭
wait so is SQ’s og soul and the current soul the same person’s soul? that would explain why he feels such strong emotions from what happened before he came back to life. i hope that’s the case bc otherwise the original soul is too tragic
Makes me wonder if SQ value An Long. Doesn’t he know An Long also suffer too. Maybe because he doesn’t know An Long is the half demon. Would his feeling change if he knew that all the stuff An Long did was to get his attention?
Oh gosh. This trio is just fcked up.
If Wuhuan says no, it’ll cause harm to Qingshi’s cultivation.. If he says yes, it’ll make Qingshi sad.. What a tricky question..
This chapter……
No wonder I love this book. Both Wuhuan and Qingshi… I relate to them so, so much. I’ve never read a book that has describes so many of my experiences so well. It feels like these characters are real enough that I can reach out and touch them.
Incredible.
No words, too much admiration for author
sqs :(🫂
Goshhh what a chapterrr, this author really knows how to move feelings. This novel is way too good, im even mad of how good it isss. And that ending “are you a friend?” Omgg speechless
oof, I’m glad he touched on whether WH is a friend or just gonna repeat AL’s legacy but without the killing. I feel so sad for QS. :’) lonely but putting a strong front.
I cried so much
But I’m happy that Wuhuan’s love is no longer all about possessing SQS but accompanying him.
Oh :’ (
Eu chorei meu coração doeu e quebrou todinho
I couldn’t help it so spoiled myself on this story and now I’m just watching these events unfold one by one with a smile(deranged) on my face. Author is really merciless.
This chapter submerged me in a slowly heating pot of sadness. Aghh, author-nim, you’re too amazing!
UAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA QINGHSI BWAAAAA
brah i cannot be happy rn i feel so bad for an long help 😭