Before we knew it, it had gotten dark outside, and the illuminated Christmas tree was shining beautifully.
We had decided to go see it together before heading home, and we stood in front of the Christmas tree, taking in its beautiful glow.
“It’s really beautiful, isn’t it…”
“Yeah, it’s incredibly beautiful…”
As we were admiring the Christmas tree, Yamato slowly removed his scarf and wrapped it around my neck…
“Um, Yamato…?”
“You… you like my scent, right?”
How did he know that…?!
I’ve heard about how Omegas sometimes seek the scent of the Alphas they’re in love with due to Omega instincts, but I’ve always been surrounded by Yamato’s Beta scent…
It was an act driven solely by my affection for the person whose scent I loved unmistakably…
How… How did Yamato notice that…?
Could it be that Yamato also knew… that I liked him…?
Even so, it would be doubly embarrassing if he found out about my embarrassing act and my face turned bright red…
“Yamato… I…”
“And there’s one more thing… if what’s yours is mine… then I also want to give you what’s mine.”
Yamato wanted to give me something of his…
When those words were spoken… My heart began to beat loudly as it was pounding in my chest…
Until now, everything I had belonged to Yamato… And now, Yamato was trying to give me something precious to him…
Just thinking about it… I felt enveloped in Yamato’s preciousness, and I couldn’t contain my happiness…
“…Yamato…”
“…Yuto… I… about you…”
It was at that moment…
*Thump!!*
My heartbeat suddenly accelerated, and my body began to heat up rapidly… I could feel the blood rushing through me faster than I had ever experienced before…
And slowly, I could feel pheromones leaking out… No way… not now for my heat to strike my body at a time like this…
This is… This is really bad…
Even if Yamato doesn’t find out, today is Christmas Eve… and we’re in a large shopping mall…
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
I don’t know where any Alphas are… But if an Alpha reacts to my pheromones, this sacred night will be ruined…
Ktf wbgf P atlcx jybea la, atf wbgf P’w mbcrewfv ys lcafcrf ofjg…
P’w rmjgfv!!!
“Tjwjab… P’w rbggs, P tjnf ab ub tbwf fjgis abvjs!”
P yiegafv la bea ab Tjwjab, cba xcbklcu ktja firf ab vb, jcv aglfv ab gec jkjs ktfc…
“Lfs, kjla eq!”
Tjwjab ugjyyfv ws jgw, qgfnfcalcu wf ogbw frmjqlcu… P aglfv ab rtjxf tlw boo, yea Tjwjab kbeivc’a gfifjrf wf…
And at that moment, Yamato tried to pull me closer… When I turned around, Yamato was speechless…
Tiny tears spilled from my eyes, scattering on Yamato’s cheeks and stinging… Along with them, an overwhelmingly sad and painful emotion appeared on my face…
Why… why…!!!
I just don’t understand anymore!!!
Yamato’s hand released me gently… and without hesitation, I ran through the holy night…
With the momentum, Yamato’s scarf that was around my neck fluttered to the ground, abandoned…
And… Along with my tear-stained cheeks and Yamato’s, a white Christmas colored the sacred night…
* * *
How far did I run?
But I need to get home quickly…
I ran towards home in a daze… I couldn’t take the train or a taxi… I didn’t know where any Alphas were…
After stumbling several times and gasping for breath, I somehow made it home… I immediately grabbed the syringe and injected myself, trying to calm down… but it had no effect at all…
Why… why…!!!
Normally, it would subside quickly… but neither my body heat nor my pheromones were going away…
At the same time, my feelings for Yamato kept overflowing, as they were tearing at my heart…
Yamato’s smiling face.
Yamato’s angry face.
Yamato’s sad face from the school trip.
Yamato desperately tried to stop me.
And… Yamato’s satisfied smile every time he wore my black-rimmed glasses…
Yamato… I… I can’t keep lying anymore… I… I can only see you…
I love you… I really love you…!
I discarded everything that surrounded me and crawled into bed, feeling like my body and mind were about to melt…
The towel blanket with Yamato’s scent enveloped my entire body… but…
It’s not enough… It’s not enough… Yamato is missing…
I gathered Yamato’s clothes and even his underwear from where he left them…
But it’s still not enough…
Yamato is still missing…
“Ah… *hic*… Uwaaaaahhh!! Yamato, Yamatooo…!!”
I was naked in the pitch-black room as my tears wouldn’t stop…
If I were a Beta… I wouldn’t have to tell such lies and could always be by Yamato’s side… I wouldn’t have to run away…
I should be able to say, “I love you,” honestly…
I hate myself… I wish this gender… would just disappear… I wish Omegas… didn’t exist…!!!
My tears wouldn’t stop…
And as if cruelly responding to my emotions as pheromones kept overflowing from my body, one after another…
A faint, melancholic indigo lump tinged with anguish, accompanied by a bittersweet scent… gradually overshadowing Yamato’s scent…
Yamato… I miss you…
Yamato… Yamato…
* * *
After that day… I experienced a heat like I had never experienced before…
Medications didn’t work, injections didn’t help…
At this point, all I could do was wait for the heat to naturally come to an end.
But Yamato knew where I lived…
I just couldn’t bear the thought of him finding out I was an Omega if he came over, so I sent him a cold message to “leave me alone”…
The heat didn’t end even at the end of the year and the start of the new year…
Every time it got unbearable, Yamato would come to mind…
Even when I closed my eyes, all I could see was Yamato’s face…
I couldn’t go to the hospital… My body wouldn’t listen to me…
The agonizing heat finally subsided the day before the start of the third term…
And then, on the first day of the third term…
I didn’t know how to face Yamato… Communication had ceased after my cold message…
Would anything change if we met…?
Would we be able to talk normally like before…?
I headed out into the cold, mounted my bicycle as usual, and headed to the station where Yamato was supposed to be waiting.
But at the station, there was no sign of Yamato getting off the train I usually take… I waited for several trains, but Yamato was nowhere to be found…
I did something terrible…
It’s only natural…
I waited until the last moment, but I reluctantly went to school alone for the first time in a while…
* * *
When I arrived in the classroom, Yamato was already seated.
After seeing Yamato again after so long, my heart was filled with a complex mix of emotions… It’s my fault…
Shun was already in his seat too, and as soon as he noticed me, he came running over.
“Hey, what’s up with you guys? Why aren’t you together?”
He was worried about the tension between us…
“I-it’s n-nothing’s wrong, really. We just overslept a bit!”
I plastered on a fake smile and lied again…
I even lied to my best friend, Shun…
I’m just a pile of lies…
But Shun didn’t press further, as if understanding that was enough.
And then, I mustered up the courage to speak to Yamato from my seat…
“Yamato… good morning.”
“Yeah, morning.”
Yamato… didn’t turn around…
That’s right, like when we first met, only his large but small back caught my eye… He wouldn’t turn around for me anymore…
It’s… It’s my fault…
Because I’m an Omega… because I’m lying… I’m causing everyone this much pain…
There’s only a little time left for the three of us to spend together and for me to spend with Yamato… Why did things have to end up like this…
Damn you, God…
Yuto…bubu…what did you do that for? 😭