Mai Dong swiftly leaped out of bed like a lightning bolt, bravely lunging towards the desk. His hands pressed onto the diary with an air of concealed nervous tremor, “Uh, Senior, how about not reading it? And… no matter what, you shouldn’t read it in front of me, right? It’s really enough to make someone die of embarrassment.”
Yan Xuming smiled, “Because you scolded me as a scumbag in your diary?”
Help, he really has seen it!
Mai Dong said with a mournful expression, “Don’t be angry, I didn’t mean it, it’s just… it’s just a misunderstanding.”
Yan Xuming nodded understandingly, “En, a misunderstanding.”
Mai Dong slowly squeezed himself into the space between Yan Xuming and the table, attempting to use his body to shield the diary.
He didn’t really think too much about it; right now, the diary was the top priority. His head was still spinning, so how could he still care about anything else?
After successfully maneuvering his entire body into the space, Mai Dong realized just how close he was to Yan Xuming. In fact, their thighs were pressed together. Mai Dong instantly felt like he had lost control of his limbs again, unsure whether to move away or stay put.
Yan Xuming, on the other hand, seemed completely oblivious to the concept of maintaining distance with a pursuer.
He had no objection to their current position, even raising his hand to touch Mai Dong’s forehead again, “Still very hot. The fever medicine hasn’t taken effect so quickly.”
Mai Dong nodded mechanically, “Um, that’s right.”
Yan Xuming asked, “Since you noticed your umbrella was stolen, why didn’t you call your roommate to pick you up?”
Mai Dong felt quite fortunate that he had taken a shower and gone straight to bed after getting soaked in the rain, rather than unnecessarily sitting down to write in his diary. Otherwise, Yan Xuming wouldn’t have asked this question now. The foolish act of deliberately getting soaked in the rain was something only he knew; there was no need to involve one more person.
Mai Dong cleared his throat, he really wasn’t good at lying, especially when facing Yan Xuming. His gaze flickered, and his tone was unnatural, “Didn’t want to trouble them… it’s just a short distance, I didn’t expect to catch a fever.”
Fortunately, Yan Xuming didn’t press further but instead said, “You can look for me next time.”
Mai Dong didn’t catch on, “What?”
Yan Xuming patiently explained, “If you forget your umbrella next time, just call me, and I’ll come pick you up.”
Mai Dong didn’t nod. He slowly inhaled, his chest rising due to the expansion of his lungs. However, Mai Dong felt that what he was breathing in wasn’t just air; it was more like some kind of scalding emotion, making his eyes well up once again.
Mai Dong had already shed tears today, being feverish had turned his whole face red, and his eyes were damp. He could only blame it on being sick, feeling that his illness had made him so sentimental. Even after crying, he still felt the urge to cry again, as if there were too many emotions inside him that needed to be released through tears.
He softly uttered an “um,” which wasn’t really an agreement but just an acknowledgment.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Fantasies that, one day, Yan Xuming might truly enter into a romantic relationship with them.
For now, the diary was temporarily safe.
Not long after, the lecture ended, and his roommates returned one after another.
Yan Xuming didn’t stay for too long. After instructing Mai Dong to rest well over the weekend, he also left.
Mai Dong lay pitifully on the bed, while his three roommates surrounded him with keen scrutiny.
“Talk. What’s going on between you and Yan Xuming?”
“Honestly, spill it. I was already surprised when I saw you two greet each other on the way earlier. I didn’t expect him to come over with medicine when you’re sick. F*ck, I catch a cold, and my partner doesn’t bother buying me medicine or coming to check on me.”
Mai Dong interjected silently, “Du Chuan, maybe it’s because your partner is a girl, and she can’t enter the male’s dormitory?”
Du Chuan squinted his eyes, “Don’t interrupt! How did you suddenly become so familiar with Yan Xuming ah?”
Mai Dong stayed silent, unsure of how to answer his roommates. He didn’t even know why he had become suddenly close to Yan Xuming. If he had to find a reason, it would probably be because Yan Xuming knew Mai Dong liked him. But how could he explain this kind of reason to his roommates?
He could only evade the question, saying, “Not really? It’s just that we planned to have a meal today, but I ended up canceling. Maybe he just stopped by on his way.”
Wu Zimo scoffed, “Stopped on the way? We went to the lecture two hours ago. He just happened to drop by your dorm after sitting there for two hours?”
Mai Dong’s eyes widened too. He had no idea two hours had passed ah! From the time he woke up until Yan Xuming left was at most half an hour. So, Yan Xuming had been sitting there waiting for him for an hour and a half, meaning he spent that time reading his diary!
Mai Dong sniffed, his expression filled with pain.
Before going to sleep, Mai Dong slowly brought his diary back to bed and started reading.
For many people, keeping a diary involves looking through it from time to time. To them, writing in a diary is a way to document life, leaving traces for future reminiscence day by day. However, for Mai Dong, it wasn’t the same. He wrote in his diary only to find a proper place to store his emotions.
This was also the first time Mai Dong revisited his own diary, which he started during the early days of university.
“University is much more relaxed than high school, at least for me. Roommates are so busy that they don’t have time to eat and play games. It seems joining the student union or a club makes them even busier. I’ve thought about whether I should try joining the student union since he’s there.
But then again, maybe not! What if it becomes awkward if we end up as colleagues? I don’t want to be friends with him, just stealing glances and brushing past each other is fine.”
“At the freshman welcome party, I saw him busy backstage, wearing a white shirt and suit pants. He never used to dress like this in high school, but it’s a shame it’s summer, so he’s missing the blazer. He must look really good in it. I’m just a freshman this year, and he’s only a sophomore. I’m already thinking about three years from now. By then, he’ll have graduated, and maybe I won’t see him anymore?”
“After class, I overheard two girls in the front row mention his name. They said there’s a guy from the student union who’s pursuing him. Last week, he bought roses and sent them to his dorm, but he politely rejected him. The guy didn’t give up. He brought him breakfast every day, but he never took a bite. I was a little happy and a little lonely to hear this kind of gossip. I’m glad I’ve never had the intention to confess, so I won’t face rejection.”
Mai Dong flipped through the pages, and when he wrote these entries, he certainly didn’t feel anything unusual. However, looking at them now, it felt both sour and unreasonable.
Of course, people who have a crush tend to be like this. This feeling is somewhat similar to encountering the non-mainstream statements from your middle school days on your QQ space when you’re twenty.
Yan Xuming had seen all these things, and Mai Dong felt upset at the thought.
Why was he upset?
His first reaction wasn’t even shame, although that was certainly part of it. It’s just that this emotion seemed less important in the face of sadness. He always wanted to maintain a bit of dignity for himself. After all, who really wants the person they wrote all those sentimental words about to read them?
The phone placed by his pillow suddenly vibrated.
Mai Dong glanced at the message notification, it was from Yan Xuming.
Yan Xuming: “Do you like seeing me in a shirt?”
Mai Dong was embarrassed to death and quickly explained, “No, no, I was just writing blindly. Don’t take it to heart.”
Yan Xuming: “Oh, don’t like it?”
Mai Dong: “…Like.”
Yan Xuming: “I’ll wear it for you tomorrow, okay?”
Mai Dong was at a loss for words in his response. He was too embarrassed to boldly agree, but, of course, he didn’t want to refuse either.
The sadness from before had dissipated, and now, staring at his phone screen, he felt only a sense of secret joy.
Mai Dong couldn’t help but see himself as a bulging ball, kicked back and forth between his own low self-esteem and cowardice on one side and Yan Xuming’s gentleness and closeness on the other, rolling back and forth.
After pondering for a while, Mai Dong replied with a nodding emoji.
After responding to Yan Xuming’s message, Mai Dong eagerly climbed out of bed to fetch a pen, and lay in bed to add to today’s diary entry.
October 13, 203. Heavy rain.
I feel like he might like me a bit.
Am I being too narcissistic? It shouldn’t be; I don’t think I’m a narcissistic person. But I’m not sure if it’s because I like him that I always misinterpret his actions, mistakenly thinking he likes me too. From his perspective, though, if it’s not because he likes me, why would he attend my debate, why would he ask me out for a meal, why would he greet me when he sees me, and why would he buy medicine for me when I’m sick?
I’m just a pursuer, and the last thing he lacks in his life is pursuers.
Mai Dong, Mai Dong. However, I still have to persuade myself not to casually assume that he likes me. Maybe it’s the fever making my head unclear, like being intoxicated, always feeling like my wishes are about to come true. Perhaps when the fever subsides and the intoxication wears off, I’ll realize it was all just my imagination.
Ah, ah, but he said he’s going to wear a shirt for me tomorrow.
These aren’t words a straight guy would say! Could he not be straight at all? I’ve just assumed he’s straight because that’s the most common sexual orientation. But I’ve never seen him date a girl, so maybe he actually likes guys.
And what about me?
If he likes guys, could I be one of them?
Mai Dong fell asleep in the midst of this problem and surprisingly had a rather bizarre dream.
In the dream, Yan Xuming sat on a bar stool at a gay bar, with a line of male models standing in front of him. Yan Xuming had a playful expression, his gaze sweeping over the row of male models. He lazily extended a finger, pointing a few times, “You, you, and you, stay. The rest, leave.”
Mai Dong also stood in front of Yan Xuming, but he wasn’t one of those asked to stay.
He was momentarily stirred up and stepped forward to question, “Why? What’s wrong with me? Why didn’t you keep me!”
Yan Xuming frowned at him, wearing a clearly disdainful expression, “Not tall enough, ass not perky enough, and seems lacking in charm.”
Mai Dong abruptly opened his eyes, relieved to see the familiar bed curtain in front of him. Then, he slowly sat up, stared for a moment, and knelt back on the bed. He turned his head to look behind him, silently and pitifully doubting himself, “Huh? Not perky?”
Author’s Note:
Perky.
Not perky enough for dream Yan Xuming!
Also I’m confused as well with Mai Dong.
Does Yan Xuming like him?? Is he pursuing Mai Dong???
Yan xuming is clearly indulging little maizi~ ngl he’s so smooth aaaaaa, he better not be messing with our precious maizi or imma throw some hands 👊
Thank you for your translation 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜
Oh my, what a dream 😂
Thank You for the new chapter ( ꈍᴗꈍ)❤️