Translator: White Lotus
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——Who do you like, that guy or me? After asking that question.
——Huh?
The expression on Hira’s face at that precise moment was something Kiyoi could never forget.
While sporting a dumb expression, Hira absentmindedly made a “huh?” sound, which conveyed, “What are you talking about?”
A feeling of shame and anger flared up inside Kiyoi like flames, so he kicked Hira with all his strength.
For having waited so long to hear from such a guy, Kiyoi felt extremely angry with himself. Both before and now, Kiyoi, in the end, couldn’t figure out what that guy was thinking.
In the sophomore year of high school, on the first day of the class change, Kiyoi got to meet Hira for the first time.
After witnessing Hira stutter “Hi-Hi-Hi-Hi-Hi” with a scarlet face, it took Kiyoi only a second to judge that he was nothing more than a worthless guy.
As a slave, he was quite useful. He always proceeded to run errands in obedience and even appeared happy. However, the way his eyes, which were veiled by his bangs, constantly stared at Kiyoi was extremely repulsive.
Yet also, it felt very good.
From the very beginning, he was the only one on whom Hira fixed his sight.
The creepy intensity of it simply felt pleasant.
Kiyoi was raised as a latchkey kid after his parents got divorced. When his mother would leave the house to go to work, it was quite boring for him to return to the home where there was no one, so he always played with his friends till late. But when it was time for dinner, everyone would go back. The more high-spirited he had been until just a moment ago, the more lonely he felt on his way back home. Taking the key out of the small pocket of his randoseru, Kiyoi, without uttering a word, would enter that empty house.
A family of three also resided in a 2DK apartment; the sound of the child’s voice and the angry mother’s voice could be heard through the wall. In order to cover up the noise, Kiyoi would turn on the TV. It would never be turned off once it was on. There used to be a plate with food covered in plastic wrap on the kitchen table, and every night, he would heat it in the microwave and eat it while watching TV. When he took a shower, he would turn up the volume of the TV. This was due to the fact that when he was washing his hair, he would get scared if it was quiet.
Kiyoi used to love TV. There were so many people in that little box, and everyone was laughing. They looked as though they were having fun, and he thought it would be nice if he could join them.
His mother’s off-duty time varied according to her work schedule, but when she worked the night shift, the first thing she used to do when she got home was to turn off the TV. The abrupt silence would make Kiyoi wake up from his dream. While rubbing his sleepy eyes, he would greet her by saying, “Welcome home,” and walk to the kitchen. She would then respond in a low voice, saying she had returned home.
“Mom, do you want to eat?”
“It’s okay, let Mom prepare it by herself.”
“No, I’ll serve you dinner.”
At his mother’s midnight supper, it was Kiyoi’s role to serve dinner to his mother. Although he was sleepy, he wanted to spend more time with his mother.
When Kiyoi became a third-grader in elementary school, his mother remarried. The new father was very kind. They also moved out of the apartment into a big detached house, and his mother stayed at home every day. Every time he returned and announced his arrival at home, he would immediately hear his mother greet him with ‘Welcome home.’ Kiyoi no longer played late with his friends and spent less time watching TV. Instead, it was much more enjoyable for him to talk to his mom and dad about the day’s events while eating dinner.
However, it wasn’t long before his mother and new father had his younger brother, and his mother would always take care of him. Although his father was a kind person, there was still a subtle difference in the way he treated Kiyoi and his own child. The following year, his sister was born, and with the addition of a new family member, Kiyoi had become even more lonely than before.
——Take care of me too.
He wanted to say it, but he couldn’t. On the sofa in the spacious living room, sitting next to his parents, who were playing with his younger siblings, Kiyoi once again began to watch TV with a glum expression on his face. Babies were not cute at all. They were noisy as well as dirty and monopolizing his mother. Kiyoi thought it would be nice if they disappeared.
It was around that time that Kiyoi watched a live broadcast of an idol concert. The idol performed on TV, singing and dancing, and the fans were so enthralled that they extended their hands in ecstasy as though they were offering their idol everything they had. Their faces turned bright red as they desperately reached out with their hands, despite the fact that they could not possibly reach them, and there were some of the female fans who were even crying.
It turned out that adults could also….. cry. Their fanaticism was so overwhelming that it made people somewhat shrink back.
Kiyoi felt a bit scared and, at the same time, thought how nice it would be if only someone longed for him like that.
A simple glance or hand gesture was enough to make someone appear pleased or sad. Regardless of the rationale, it seemed as though that was a ‘wonderful feeling’. With that thought in mind, Kiyoi cast a sideways glance at his parents, who were busy taking care of their bug-like babies, and in his class anthology of that year, he wrote, ‘When I grow up, I want to be an idol’.
Hira was a typical guy who exhibited the characteristics of a fan—and a serious one at that.
Whether it was when Kiyoi casually dominated the class or when he was picked on for petty jealousy, only Hira was the one who remained unchanged throughout. When that meek man beat up Shirota, Kiyoi was scared, as he thought this to be the behavior of religious fanatics, but on the other hand, seeing him get angry for his own sake couldn’t help but remind Kiyoi of the expressions of the fans he used to see desperately reaching for their idols.
What he had been seeking since he was a child was presented to him in perfect form by Hira.
Because of that incident, the impression of Hira in Kiyoi’s mind changed.
In the music room, where the two of them were alone, and in the empty classroom after school, Hira took photos of him with his SLR camera. He called Kiyoi the king and said absurd things like he was the last soldier to protect him. Kiyoi couldn’t even comprehend what was going on inside this guy’s mind, and yet, the way he looked at him, as if worshiping a god, gave him a sense of pleasure.
After entering the third year, every time he brushed past Hira—who was assigned to a different classroom— in the hallway and felt his eyes on him, Kiyoi felt good. That guy was longing for him and him alone. Looked more. Looked at him. Unknowingly, Hira’s direct and intense gaze penetrated into the deepest part of Kiyoi’s heart.
——Even after graduating from high school, I won’t mind if we stay in touch.
On the day of the graduation ceremony, he thought of telling Hira that, but once he was standing in front of Hira, Kiyoi couldn’t say it. Kiyoi was not good at saying such things, and on top of that, the other party was Hira. Kiyoi asked himself why he had to be the one to say something like that. It ought to have been Hira’s responsibility to ask for it.
——Don’t you have something to tell me?
Kiyoi had already given him the opportunity, yet he still refused to say anything.
Kiyoi got irritated with that hesitant guy, and with this impetus, he even ended up kissing him.
Even Kiyoi himself was astonished at that moment. It was Kiyoi’s first kiss, and just the fact that he kissed Hira was enough to make him freak out. He wasn’t a woman, so he wouldn’t be too dreamy about it, but even so, the thought that he might recall at some point in the future that Hira was the recipient of his first kiss made Kiyoi feel desperate. It was something that solely belonged to him….. Even if he regretted it now, he could never get it back.
But only by doing this should everything be clear to Hira. And even if it didn’t, he knew there was no way Hira would stop chasing him even after graduation. Kiyoi firmly believed that, like a stalker, he would pursue him persistently.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Kiyoi was too shocked and couldn’t help but feel a bit dazed. He had been reassured that even if the other party did not contact him, he could still get in touch right away if he called. Once he found out that all communication channels had been cut off, a frantic anxiety welled up inside him. It gradually morphed into anger.
Obviously, it was Hira who used to look at him as if he were unique.
That was why Kiyoi was willing to meet such a boring guy.
If he asked his classmates, he might be able to obtain Hira’s contact information. However, Kiyoi’s pride wouldn’t allow him to go that far. It was always Hira’s responsibility to pursue him, and Kiyoi was solely accountable for accepting his pursuit. He was therefore just somewhat shocked, not that he was particularly eager to see him.
Although he thought so, Kiyoi could not appease his anger towards Hira. Despite his desire to forget about him, Kiyoi started scanning the men who looked like Hira whenever he walked down the street, and deep down in his heart, he thought that if he bumped into Hira anywhere, he would definitely ignore him—no, he would definitely scold him severely.
Apart from the Hira-related issue, Kiyoi’s life was going smoothly. While attending the university, he joined an entertainment agency and started working there, doing 80% modeling and 20% TV shows. Even though he didn’t yearn to be an idol anymore, the desire to be observed and pursued by others had always been entrenched in his heart, so in that sense, this job was ideal for him. He could feel the eyes of people even when he walked on the street, but the stage play was still the place with the most direct form of observation. Hundreds of pairs of eyes looking at him in unison. It was an addictive sensation.
Yet somewhere in his heart, he felt unsatisfied. This was due to the fact that he was already familiar with eyes that were more warm, more wholehearted, more devotional and affectionate.
He felt irritated with himself. It was Hira who gave up on him. He wondered whether he wanted to see such a guy again. As he simply didn’t know what he wanted to do, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to see him again or not.
Later at that time, through an unexpected route, he found out about Hira’s recent situation. When Kiyoi attended a drinking party of an acquaintance’s theatrical group, he overheard a conversation between a man named Satou, who was a writer, and a man named Koyama, who was in charge of the backstage.
“Eh, your younger brother has finally gotten a boyfriend. Isn’t that great?”
“Don’t talk so casually about boyfriends. It’s male. A boy. They both are men.”
“In this industry, it’s not that rare, isn’t it?”
“That’s true, but….. I still feel a little complicated when I think that it’s my own younger brother.”
Koyama let out a sigh, and Kiyoi agreed with him inwardly.
If it is someone else’s matter, one may be able to calmly listen to it, but the majority of people will feel overwhelmed once they learn that their relatives are homosexual. Since people in different circles have different perspectives, Kiyoi never concealed his sexual preference at work, but he paid great attention not to reveal it at university or at home.
Since he was in junior high school, Kiyoi had had a vague sense of self-awareness. When he watched TV, he was more attracted to male celebrities and actors than female ones. Due to being blessed with good looks, Kiyoi was extremely popular with girls, which made him even more cognizant of his orientation.
What about Hira? he wondered.
He claimed that only Kiyoi was special and that, apart from him, Hira had no interest in any other men or women. As a high school student at that time, Kiyoi encountered a boy who was either of his own kind or quite similar to him for the first time, as well as the first time he had ever met a boy who regarded him as a love object. In fact, when he heard that Hira had used his photo to masturbate, he was indeed taken aback…
——Does that guy want to do it with me?
Even just imagining it caused him to feel the sheer excitement that a teenage boy should experience.
That time, it was probably out of curiosity. As if to test it out, when Kiyoi extended his hand to Hira, the latter, enchanted, knelt down and kissed his hand. That sight of him really made Kiyoi “feel good”. One was staring down while another was being observed. Even though they were in different positions, Kiyoi believed that they were both caught up in a similar feeling at that moment.
Kiyoi was therefore entirely at ease. He believed that Hira was obsessed with him and would always follow him around like a loyal dog. Kiyoi didn’t ever consider himself a narcissist. After all, who wouldn’t feel good if they were constantly pursued by someone who claimed to like them?
The result turned out to be a shameful misunderstanding of his own, and the aftermath of it continued to affect Kiyoi.
Now, Kiyoi’s love life was also stagnant. Due to his being in the entertainment industry, he got hit on not only by women but also by numerous men. There were several famous actors and models among them, but even if Kiyoi met alone with these men, whom he found quite attractive, for some reason, the eyes of Hira crossed his mind when the persuasion reached its pinnacle. He would unconsciously compare the eyes of the man in front of him with those of Hira’s. Then he would lose interest, and everything would end without even exchanging a kiss.
Why the hell was this happening?
That guy was too scary.
If things kept going the way they were, he would neither be able to fall in love nor even be able to renew his first kiss that he shared with Hira, and eventually he would enter adulthood like this. Why did he have to go through that? It was terrible. Thinking that all of this was Hira’s fault, instead of calming down, Kiyoi only got more and more angry.
“His boyfriend seems to be called Hira. He’s a classmate of his from the university, and he has the same dysphemia problem as me.”
While he was brooding in his thoughts, the name that suddenly came to his ears pulled Kiyoi back to his senses.
As Kiyoi couldn’t help but look in their direction, Koyama and Satou stopped conversing.
“Ah, sorry. Kiyoi-kun, are these topics we’re talking about bothering you?”
“No, it’s not like that――”
Hira? dysphemia? Was that the Hira he knew?
“I’m in the same situation, so I’m a bit concerned.”
“Same situation?”
“Ah一 ……, I’m not interested in girls either.”
The two people’s eyes widened.
“Ah, so that’s how it is. I’m sorry; it’s too insensitive of us to talk about such things here.”
“Please don’t mind. I haven’t come out to my family either, so I’m honestly concerned about what my relatives generally think about such things. Your younger brother—who is he dating?”
Kiyoi asked casually, and the two men then came over to sit closer to him.
“Kiyoi-kun, how old are you?”
“I’m 19 years old.”
“The same age as my younger brother.”
Koyama looked at Kiyoi as if he had found someone to confide in.
“The other guy is also a 19-year-old boy, so it’s true that people in this age range are more obsessed with love, right?”
“Well, I guess it depends.”
“For both of them, it seems to be their first time dating. My brother said that he’s a nice guy, but I am still worried.”
“You’re being overprotective. That boy is quite handsome, too. Don’t worry about it too much.”
Handsome? Then it wasn’t Hira.
“Do you have a photo of him?”
As Kiyoi piqued his interest, Koyama immediately said, “Yes, yes,” and took out his mobile phone.
“I kept pestering my brother about it, wearing him out with my asking, and he finally sent me a photo of that boy. Ah, this is it.”
Kiyoi restrained the ripples in his heart and looked at the phone screen. It couldn’t be Hira, could it? There couldn’t be such a coincidence, so Hira couldn’t possibly be in the photo, he reasoned….. However, the person in the photo was indeed Hira, and Kiyoi was frozen in place. Next to Hira was a boy who looked a lot like Koyama.
“This is my younger brother, and next to him is his boyfriend.”
Kiyoi kept staring intently at the screen. The photo was captured in a typical izakaya, and it showed Hira and Koyama’s younger brother standing side by side in a very friendly manner. Hira was smiling. To Kiyoi, that alone was unbelievable. In high school, although Hira had once shown a slight smile to Kiyoi, other than that, he had been a gloomy person with little facial expression.
And what was up with that plain guy next to him? Even though he was a good match for the abhorrently annoying Hira, the thought that Hira had cut off contact with Kiyoi for someone like him was unacceptable to Kiyoi. How was he inferior to this guy?
“Well, I must admit, for a boy his age, he does have something about him.”
After Koyama said that, Kiyoi looked at him with an incredulous face, “Huh?”
“This boy. He may not have the trendy kind of good looks that are currently in style, yet he nevertheless exudes a unique aura. This is what we call an actor’s face. Usually, it looks a bit absentminded, but if this face gets serious, it will change drastically.”
What did he know about Hira? Kiyoi hurriedly suppressed the anger that reflexively welled up inside of him.
“Aren’t you exaggerating?” Kiyoi spoke while managing to maintain his composure so that his displeasure would not show on his face.
“Is that so?” Koyama wondered and asked the lead actress diagonally across the room, “Hey, what do you think of the boy on the left?” while displaying his phone to her.
“Ah, he’s got a good face. His clothes and hairstyle are rustic, but his eyes appear to have immense power. Once a person like that gets into a role, he’ll immediately become different. What, is this one planning to join our troupe?”
“Which one? Ahー, right. He’s not bad. Even though he appears a little out of fashion, that’s what gives him his distinctive aura.”
Listening to everyone’s comments, Kiyoi tried his best to restrain his escalating rage. Since the people sitting here were all related to stage plays, their perspective was different from that of ordinary people. That guy was nothing more than just a creep.
“Are you worried about your brother or are you showing off your brother’s boyfriend?”
Hearing Satou’s joke, Koyama finally came to his senses. While listening to him blabber about his complicated feelings as an older brother, Kiyoi said something that he himself hadn’t even anticipated.
“Why don’t you meet him once?”
“Eh?”
“Isn’t there a stage play for trainees next month? I think it would be a good idea to invite that boy along with your brother. Rather than sitting here and worrying about it, meeting him in person will make things clearer.”
Kiyoi felt as though he was talking to himself.
He wanted to see Hira again.
He never wanted to see Hira again.
These two contradictory feelings were driving Kiyoi insane. But tonight, the pendulum of emotions was clearly tilted more toward the side of wanting to see. He wanted to see Hira. He wanted to meet him and torment him severely. It was different from his previous subtle feelings, which had a tinge of sweetness. This time, it was clearly malicious.
On the day of the performance, Hira was utterly shocked to see him. The dowdy boy sitting at the same table with Hira must be Koyama’s younger brother. In the photo, he looks like a very plain boy, but in reality, he gave off a different impression. Although he was still quite plain, he had the cuteness of a small animal and was completely different from Kiyoi.
After the stage play ended, Kiyoi was surreptitiously observing Hira while chatting with the staff, but Hira never looked at him. It seemed that he was quite embarrassed. That was natural, Kiyoi grumbled to himself while waiting for Hira to come and talk to him.
However, Hira appeared to have no intention of coming over, and Kiyoi gradually grew impatient. Was this guy just going to go back like this? No, that couldn’t be. What did Hira think he purposely called him all the way here for? Should Kiyoi go and talk to him? No way; that would be a defeat. As Kiyoi was getting panicky, someone finally summoned him over. Great; Kiyoi walked over in an almost combative manner, but Hira kept his head down and didn’t look up at him.
“Kiyoi-kun, this boy is a fan of yours.”
Hearing Satou’s words, Kiyoi was surprised. Did Hira talk about him? He used a low-key term like ‘fan’. But it didn’t make Kiyoi “feel good”. Standing next to Hira, Koyama’s younger brother looked like he was guarding Hira, acting like a couple, which made Kiyoi very unpleasant. It was as if he knew everything about Hira——
“Yo, long time no see.”
After striking up a conversation with him, Hira finally lifted his head gingerly.
The moment their eyes finally met, Kiyoi was taken aback by seeing the sudden warmth in Hira’s eyes. Hira had the same passionate expression as before in his eyes, which were slightly reddening as he stared at him. Kiyoi’s mind was in a state of confusion. Hira was clearly staring at him with such eyes, yet he had a lover.
He couldn’t let it end like that, so Kiyoi invited Hira to the afterparty, and Hira immediately agreed. The younger brother of Koyama next to him looked at Hira with a surprised face, but Hira’s eyes were firmly fixed on Kiyoi, and at that moment, Kiyoi felt that he had won.
A lot of things might have happened, but Hira still liked him.
He felt sorry for Koyama’s younger brother, but he had no other choice but only to let him give up.
Kiyoi wondered how he should torment Hira at the afterparty. Even though he had talked to him, he didn’t want to forgive Hira right away because he had made him so anxious. And Koyama’s younger brother might be coming too, so in that case, they could only exchange contact information tonight. He could even casually pretend to go to the restroom——
While Kiyoi was in a good mood thinking about this, Hira came over to tell him that he couldn’t attend the afterparty. If he went back like this, how would they be able to contact with each other again? However, such words could not be said, so Kiyoi could only put on a cold face, and then a surge of regret that bordered on rage overcame him.
Later, when Koyama informed him that it was his younger brother’s birthday today, Kiyoi felt a terrible sense of defeat.
Hira prioritized the birthday of that plain-looking guy over another meeting with Kiyoi.
“Kiyoi-kun, if you guys were classmates, you should have said so earlier. You’re not a very nice person.” At the afterparty, Koyama complained to him.
“I’m sorry. Koyama-san was so worried that I felt like teasing you a little.” Not wanting to admit that he was hurt, Kiyoi replied with a smirk.
“Give me a breakー! Hey, what was Hira-kun like in high school?”
“What was he like?”
“You know, there are a lot of things. Like being good at taking care of people, being smart, having a lot of friends, or something.”
“Not smart, I guess. After all, he goes to a university like that.”
As Satou interjected from the sidelines, Koyama smacked his head while saying, “Don’t you dare diss my younger brother.”
“Then let’s not talk about being smart. Does he possess qualities like being good at looking after others or having a lot of friends?”
“Not really.”
Kiyoi wasn’t lying. Hearing the straightforward truth, Koyama’s face tensed up.
“Did he have a boyfriend?”
“I think he had a crush on someone.”
That’s me, me; Kiyoi added in his mind.
“It must be a man, right? If it were a woman, then my brother would be too pitiful.”
Koyama bent forward with a worried look on his face.
“It was a guy. From what I’ve learned, he appeared to like him a lot and was always chasing him around.”
“…… Chasing?”
“He followed him everywhere, always staring at him, and kept telling him how beautiful he was.”
“Wait, that’s too scary, right …… Ah, forget it, then what about his friends? What kind of friends did he have?”
“He didn’t seem to have any friends.”
“Eh? What do you mean? Was he the type of guy who had no friends?”
“Um, well, something like that.”
“Oi, oi, oi, ooi—”
Koyama plopped down in a prostrate position on the table with his head in his hands.
“So, that guy, Hira, was like a stalker who had no friends and followed the ones he liked around and stared at them from the shadows?”
“No, not that bad, but ……”
Koyama, however, didn’t listen at all. He was just getting more and more delusional while holding his head in distress as he didn’t know what to do. Kiyoi was astounded to see that Koyama was a person who was easily prone to imagination, so he gave up attempting to explain. What he said was nothing wrong in general, though, and more importantly, Kiyoi didn’t want to talk about Hira anymore.
Because of that abhorrently annoying guy, he was now oscillating between happiness and grief—there was definitely something wrong with him, and it was all Hira’s fault. Whenever he saw that guy’s eyes, he got weird. As expected, that guy was really a creep.
——Anyway, I’ll not get involved with Hira anymore.
However, Hira came to see his stage show again. When he wanted to see him, he ran away and even changed his phone number, but when he didn’t want to see him again, he showed up.
The fact that Koyama’s younger brother was not present this time was what prompted Kiyoi to speak with Hira once more. When Kiyoi asked him about it in a nonchalant manner, Hira told him that Koyama’s brother was not his boyfriend. What the hell was going on? Even though he had made up his mind that he didn’t want to get involved with Hira anymore, he invited Hira to the afterparty once again to find out the truth.
Hira was delighted to join the afterparty, but considering what had happened before, this time Kiyoi didn’t dare let his guard down. In order to vent his earlier anger, Kiyoi showed Hira a show of intimacy with another man on purpose before finally feeling motivated to talk to him.
At the coffee shop, they had lengthy conversations, but Hira’s equivocal attitude only made Kiyoi more and more anxious. Hira himself said that Koyama’s younger brother was not his boyfriend. However, he was also the one who enthusiastically defended him, saying that he was a nice and gentle person. He also remained silent regarding changing his mobile phone number without making any contact. However, when Kiyoi said that he was having trouble finding a place to rehearse, Hira came forward and offered to provide him with one. Hira gave him contact information again while retaining the same passionate eyes as he had back then, as if he wanted to give everything to him. Kiyoi no longer knew what was going on.
After leaving the shop, Kiyoi thought he should at least clarify this matter, so he asked Hira what he and Koyama’s younger brother were planning to do after this. Although it was embarrassing since it sounded like he was prying into other people’s private affairs, in fact, he was indeed prying. And what he wanted to hear was a clear denial from Hira.
“I don’t know.”
Hira did not deny it.
He even said, “Why do you care about that?”
Don’t you understand——These words almost came out of Kiyoi’s throat.
If there was a possibility of them dating, it meant that Hira had feelings for Koyama’s younger brother. If he already had that guy, then why did he bother to come to see him? Why did he offer him a place to rehearse? Kiyoi wondered whether Hira was comparing him to Koyama’s younger brother on a scale.
“Who do you like, that guy or me?”
After succumbing to his fury for a moment, Kiyoi was engulfed in a terrible sense of shame for uttering such words.
What a ridiculous question! But it was too late to regret it. The only way out of this predicament was for Hira to tell him that it was obviously Kiyoi, so that he could be relieved. Say it. Tell me. If you do, I’ll kiss you one more time. Then we’ll start over again――
“Huh?”
With his mouth wide open, Hira showed a silly-looking face.
He looked as though he had been asked an unexpected question, based on the expression on his face.
——What are you talking about? The matter between me and Koyama has nothing to do with Kiyoi, right?
Kiyoi felt as if he had been told that, and his ears turned bright red. Feeling like a shit when he realized he was the one who was misinterpreting things, all he could do was kick Hira in the shin before running away.
While striding towards the station, Kiyoi continued to deny the feelings that welled up inside him, saying that no, it was absolutely wrong. The only reason he had become this weird was because he couldn’t tolerate the rebellion of the guy who used to be his slave.
This was similar to love, but it was not love at all. At that time, he felt there was nothing more humiliating than being in love with such a creep and being two-timed by that unpleasant guy.
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Translator’s Note: Hey everyone, finally, I’ve finished translating the entire Kiyoi’s POV within this single part, as you guys were eagerly waiting for it. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Don’t forget to share your opinions. XOXO
Thank you so soooo much Lin, White Lotuss’ Number 1 Fan, Neoday, Ruby, Unknown Ko-fi supporter, Arduenna, Adele, French-toast, Alyx & Lambchop for the Kofis (*˘︶ ˘*).。.:*♡
Ahhhhhh! El punto de vista de Kiyoi! Espero que sus malentendidos se resuelvan rápido! A partir de ahora habrá narraciones de Kiyoi o ha sido como un extra?
Only this part contains Kiyoi’s POV. The development of Hira and Kiyoi’s relationship will be shown in the upcoming parts, which will feature multiple POVs.
Thanks for reading ❤️
That is exciting! Thank you!
Thanks for reading ❤️
Thank you!!!
Thanks for reading ❤️
Great translation, thank you. Really enjoying the slow burn! Hope they get together soon, I feel for them!
Thanks for reading ❤️
Thank you thank you!
Thanks for reading & supporting me ❤️
Ahhhh it was so great to see kiyoi’s hidden vulnerability and the way he’s pined for hira for so long. Your translation has really captured hira and kiyoi’s emotions so well. Thank you again so much for this labor of love ❤️
~ adele
Aww… I glad to learn that you all are liking my translation. Thank you sooo much for reading & supporting me ❤️
Thanks so much for the translation! Really intriguing story
Thanks for reading ❤️
I really didn’t expect to get a glimpse of what Kiyoi thought of Hira so this is a pleasant surprise for me, to think it’s an entire chapter. I love that he is equally frustrated as Hira lmao. Goodness, I just love both of them. Wonderful translation as always!! If not for you I wouldn’t be able to read this masterpiece. I’m really grateful to you. May you live a happy life free of worries. 💕
Aww… Thank you sooo much for giving love these much. I’m also grateful towards you all for reading & supporting my translation. Thanks again. Lot’s of love for you ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much for translating this. It is so much more detailed than the show. This is the first time I used this site. How do we know when you write more? Do we just keep checking under chrysanthemumgarden.com?
You can join the Chrysanthemum Garden Discord group if you have a Discord account. There are roles for the novels you want to read in the CG discord group. You will be notified when a new chapter of the “Utsukushii Kare” novel is uploaded if you click the role emoji for this novel. Alternatively, you can visit this website every week (Saturday/ Sunday) to see if a new chapter has been released. Go to the master post (table of contents) of this novel & add this novel to your reading list.
Thanks for reading ❤️
Thank you! 😀
Thank you sm!!
Thanks for reading ❤️
Thank you for the translation🍬💙 we can now know Kiyoi’s feelings and that was awesome!! I look forward to the development of their relationship🤗
Thanks for reading ❤️
Kiyoi loves him too ♥♥♥