Stunned, Wen Xuan looked at the wall before him, examining the images drawn there. All of these images were of the same person, only one person. Every frown and every smile, every movement and action. As if every single moment from every possible angle were carved here. Astonishingly, they were all images of Wen Xuan.
At this time, even the light from the fire in Wen Xuan’s hand unconsciously trembled briefly.
What kind of scenery was this? On this narrow small road, the walls were filled with images of himself, as far as the eye can see. From the endless path where he came from to the endless path where this road was headed. To be honest, Wen Xuan even felt a bit scared.
He steadied the fire in his hand, finally recovering after quite a while. He continued walking forward, following this small road. As expected, it was all him. No exception. Continuously and endlessly.
Wen Xuan paused his travels again, raising his eyes to look at the drawing on the wall. This image was a picture of Wen Xuan sitting properly at a table, examining a talisman under the candlelight. Although it’s carved on the wall, perhaps because it existed in Jian Yi’s heart, it was exceptionally clear and crisp. In the picture, the candlelight casted a glow on Wen Xuan’s lowered face. It was an image that stirred the heart, and made Wen Xuan look unparalleled in beauty.
Wen Xuan subconsciously touched his own face and questioned briefly if he were really as good looking as in the image. Although Wen Xuan’s appearance wasn’t bad, undoubtedly, this image clearly made him look a bit more handsome.
Remembering that this was inside Jian Yi’s heart, Wen Xuan sighed. Yet the corner of his mouth raised into an uncontrollable smile.
After interacting together for this long, he has long been convinced that Jian Yi really did value him this much. Yet today was the first time he saw this truth so directly. His own value in Jian Yi’s heart was much greater than what he had imagined. Much much more.
This amount of value was beyond something even words can describe. This amount made Wen Xuan somewhat astonished and scared, yet even more so happy.
Therefore, Wen Xuan just smiled faintly as he continued walking down this road.
But why would it be a road here? And why was this road so narrow and dark?
Wen Xuan suppressed these questions inside his heart, hoping to obtain the answer once he reached the end of this road. He felt like this road definitely had an end. Because he knew, even if Jian Yi placed Wen Xuan in such an important position within his heart, there can’t only be him.
At least, there were still several years before Jian Yi met Wen Xuan. In that strange and wondrous sounding world. With that supposedly happy and blessed family that Jian Yi had described before.
Yet no matter how long Wen Xuan walked, the narrow road remained under his feet. And before his eyes were those unrepeated images of Wen Xuan, as if there was really no end in sight.
Wen Xuan finally stopped walking. It was impossible for there to only be this endless road in Jian Yi’s heart. There was definitely something not right with this circumstance before him.
He steadied his thoughts, then carefully examined his surroundings again.
What did this road signify exactly? This was the road in Jian Yi’s heart. Perhaps the road in Jian Yi’s heart was just this narrow and dark. This road only had Wen Xuan. There was no second choice. Not even light. However, no matter what, this can’t be everything.
Beyond this road, there must be more.
If this road was endless, then those things must be beyond this road, behind these walls.
On the wall before him, there was another image of Wen Xuan who was currently dozing against the head of the bed. Wen Xuan looked at this picture, magic gathering in his hand. He wanted to attempt to break down this wall, but he was uncertain if he should really do something like that.
Holding onto this magic, Wen Xuan stared at the wall in consideration. After a moment, he finally decided to put away the magic in his hand again.
He was rather reluctant to really destroy this wall. This was the wall in Jian Yi’s heart after all and it was completely filled with his images. If he destroyed this, he didn’t know what kind of consequences it’d cause and if it’d affect Jian Yi.
But this didn’t mean he was giving up on his current plans. He can sense it. This wasn’t an actual stone wall. Rather, it was a barrier that was set up inside Jian Yi’s heart.
Since it wasn’t a real wall, there’s no need to destroy it like it was real.
“Jian shidi,” Wen Xuan said quietly: “Let me take a look, please. Let me see your true heart. Let me see those things that you’ve hidden in the deepest part of you.”
Saying this, he reached out and gently touched the wall.
The surface of the wall was very hard, yet Wen Xuan seemed to completely ignore this firmness as he continued to reach out his hand. Pressing against the wall, he pushed hard inward.
Despite being unable to push in, he didn’t care and continued to exert his strength.
After a moment, there were practically veins popping out of the back of Wen Xuan’s hand. Yet he didn’t care and continued regardless. A few moments later again, Wen Xuan’s back was drenched in sweat. Yet he clenched his teeth and continued to push with all of his strength.
If this was reality, this action would be considered utterly ridiculous. But this was inside Jian Yi’s heart. Wen Xuan knew that this wall definitely wasn’t completely solid. There must be soft spots.
Finally, after persevering for a long time, the palm of Wen Xuan’s hand sank into the wall. Although it only entered a tiny bit, to Wen Xuan, it was a huge boost in morale.
He practically used all of the strength he accumulated in a lifetime, just to squeeze to beyond this wall.
“Jian shidi……” Wen Xuan clenched his jaw, even his teeth were starting to tremble: “Let me…see…”
He wanted to know. He wanted to know everything about Jian Yi.
Finally, his entire elbow sank into the wall. As expected, he can feel a huge space beyond the wall. His palm can already touch that space. Next was the rest of his body.
After finally squeezing through that wall, Wen Xuan was practically drenched in sweat.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
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Why was it like this? Wen Xuan was dumbfounded.
He split the flame in his hand into four sparks and let them fly off in four different directions. Yet as soon as these fire sparks left his palm, they were immediately smothered by the darkness like they were extinguished.
For a second, Wen Xuan didn’t know what to do. But since he already spent all that effort squeezing in, he couldn’t back down now because of mere darkness.
Taking a deep breath, he started to walk around blindly with his hand out in front of him. Different from that narrow little road, this dark area was extremely spacious and wide. He couldn’t find the end no matter which direction he took.
This was actually the largest area inside Jian Yi’s heart, yet he had used those walls to divide this area beyond reach.
There should be something in here, but Wen Xuan just couldn’t see it.
Wen Xuan knew that he still wasn’t able to peek into the deepest part of Jian Yi’s heart yet. If he successfully reached the deepest part and really saw everything about Jian Yi, he’d be able to sense the empathy parasite concealed there. However, at the moment, he couldn’t sense anything at all. This proved that he was still very far from his target.
The first thing he needed to do was get rid of this area of darkness.
Along the way, Wen Xuan already tossed countless flames outward. However, without exception, they were all smothered in this darkness. Gradually, Wen Xuan felt like perhaps this darkness was tangible.
Thinking this, Wen Xuan lit up another ball of fire in his right hand, then summoned a breeze with his left hand to blow into the darkness to dissipate it. This looked like a ridiculous notion, but after Wen Xuan tried, he was actually able to light up the way a little further.
Like he surmised, this area was actually covered by a black fog that permeated over the entire space.
With a plan, Wen Xuan naturally didn’t hesitate any longer. He summoned more and more wind with his hand, gradually building up a strong gale. The fire in his other hand also suddenly lit up brightly, finally shining light onto the view before him.
Wen Xuan felt something white appear in this darkness. However, as he increased his attempt and persisted, another force suddenly came out of the darkness. This force violently swept through the space, like a huge hand squeezing tightly. In a blink of an eye, the strong gale that Wen Xuan summoned was stifled and the flames that finally illuminated the area also extinguished. All of Wen Xuan’s previous efforts went down the drain.
How could this force suddenly appear here?
After being stunned briefly, Wen Xuan realized. This was inside Jian Yi’s heart. This strong force naturally can only be from Jian Yi’s heart.
There was a force in Jian Yi’s heart that was blocking him. Not letting him dissipate the darkness. Not letting him see clearly. Not letting him step in deeper.
Clenching his jaw, Wen Xuan actually felt extremely upset.
At the same time, a fighting spirit rose inside his heart, ready to face off against this force no matter what. He was ready to reach the target of this trip no matter what, not willing to give up at all.
“Jian shidi,” Wen Xuan summoned the wind back again: “Why are you blocking me?”
This time he poured all of his energy in this wind and got well prepared to contest against that mysterious force.
However, when that force rushed over again, it didn’t extinguish the power of the wind this time. Wen Xuan only felt like he was flicked head-on by that force. The fire in his hand immediately swayed and snuffed out. The sight before his eyes turned black and then lit up. In a flash, it actually became bright and clear.
Wen Xuan was stunned. When the view before him changed from fuzzy to distinctive, he saw Jian Yi’s eyes at close proximity.
Jian Yi looked like he let out a breath of relief. Then he backed up a bit and gave Wen Xuan a smile.
Wen Xuan remained stunned for quite a while before recovering. He had already returned to reality. That force in Jian Yi’s heart actually directly threw him out!
Wen Xuan instantly felt strangely anguished and indignant.
At the same time, he noticed a subtle difference. This difference was hard to describe clearly. It seemed to come from inside his heart, as if there was a string there that connected elsewhere before, but now that string has been severed.
“The empathy parasite…… you……” Wen Xuan very quickly thought about the cause of this feeling, his face changing color.
“That’s right,” Jian Yi told him happily: “I was successful, Shixiong.”
In comparison to Wen Xuan’s difficult and frustrating journey inside Jian Yi’s heart, on this side, everything went smoothly for Jian Yi. One reason was because Jian Yi already had a deep understanding of Wen Xuan. The other reason was because Wen Xuan was completely unguarded against Jian Yi. Wen Xuan allowed Jian Yi to see his heart thoroughly, completely and utterly.
With what seemed like the energy of taking a breath, Jian Yi reached the deepest part of Wen Xuan’s heart and sent the parasite there into dormancy.
“From now on, you will no longer be affected by the empathy parasite.” Jian Yi smiled so much his eyes narrowed in contentment.
Yet Wen Xuan couldn’t feel even the slightest bit of happiness. His face color was so heavy, it could drip water: “But I failed.”
“It’s just a loss, Shixiong. Don’t worry about it too much.” Jian Yi said smiling: “Didn’t I say before that this success wouldn’t come so easily? Partial success is already enough. This result is very good.”
Wen Xuan looked at him, thinking about his peculiar attitude from before.
That’s right. From the very beginning, Jian Yi repeatedly emphasized the possibility of failure, stressing the so-called partial success. At that time, he thought Jian Yi behaved like that because he didn’t have much confidence, but Wen Xuan was completely wrong. The reason why Jian Yi acted like that was only because he had already anticipated the current result.
He already knew how many barriers were buried inside his heart. He never planned to let Wen Xuan reach the deepest part of his heart in the first place.
“A failure is a failure.” Wen Xuan said in a cold and hard tone that faintly carried a hint of fury: “Partial success doesn’t exist.”
“Shixiong, why do you have to say it like that?” Jian Yi noticed his fury and tried to console him somewhat helplessly: “Even if we only succeeded partially, from today onwards, you can……”
“From today onwards, regardless if you’re dead or alive, it wouldn’t affect me at all.” Wen Xuan interrupted, completing the rest of his words.
Feeling choked by Wen Xuan’s words, Jian Yi felt so awkward he didn’t know how to reply at all.
“But if I died,” Wen Xuan continued to say: “I would cause your death as well.”
“That’s right, Shixiong. That’s how it is.” Jian Yi looked into Wen Xuan’s eyes and asked bluntly: “But so what?”
What do you mean so what? This time it was Wen Xuan who was speechless.
“Your death is no longer connected to mine, isn’t that enough?” Jian Yi smiled: “As for me…… Shixiong, even if there wasn’t this empathy parasite, did you really think I’d live on in this world by myself if something happened to you?”
These questioning words were even more earth shaking than directly confessing. Wen Xuan recalled the narrow road that he saw and remembered the images of himself that filled the two walls and couldn’t say anything for quite a while.
After a moment, when Wen Xuan opened his mouth again, the corner of his eyes actually turned slightly red: “But… this isn’t fair.”
“What fair and not fair? This was something I chose to do myse……” Jian Yi only spoke half way when he suddenly saw the redness at the corners of Wen Xuan’s eyes. He was immediately shocked into silence.
Ever since he met Wen Xuan, it can be said that he’s accompanied Wen Xuan for quite some time. He’s seen Wen Xuan experience plenty of painful things. But up until now, he’s never seen Wen Xuan reveal this kind of expression before.
Indignance, distress, discontent, and reluctance all interwoven together, almost to the point of crying.
“Jian shidi,” Wen Xuan grabbed Jian Yi’s wrist, holding it tightly with a strong grip: “This isn’t fair.”
“No no. It’s not like that, Shixiong. Don’t think like that.” Jian Yi was at a loss, completely not knowing how to comfort the other at this moment: “You…… I…… This kind of thing shouldn’t, shouldn’t make you……”
But in the end, Wen Xuan didn’t actually display that weak side. The redness to the corners of his eyes was very faint and was quickly suppressed back down. He only grabbed onto Jian Yi’s wrist and said word by word: “Jian shidi, let me try again.”
Jian Yi looked at him stunned, and nodded his head blankly.
The process before had already paved the bridge between these two people’s hearts. Logically, as long as they were willing, they could try as many times as they wanted to.
After Jian Yi nodded, Wen Xuan immediately leaned over and pressed his forehead against Jian Yi’s forehead again.
It was still the same narrow dark road. The same desperate struggle with all of his might to penetrate through the wall. The same black fog that shrouded everything. The same strong, incontestable force that guarded Jian Yi’s heart.
After being bounced out back in reality once more, Wen Xuan didn’t even say a word.
Jian Yi also didn’t say anything at all and only sighed.
Very quickly, Wen Xuan pressed his forehead against Jian Yi’s for a third time. Jian Yi pressed his lips together and only let Wen Xuan do whatever he wanted.
All of the resistance, Jian Yi reserved for inside his heart.
This time, Wen Xuan lasted for slightly longer, almost fighting against that resistive force in Jian Yi’s heart like his life depended on it. But how could Wen Xuan win against Jian Yi in his heart? In the end, Wen Xuan only persevered for a little longer before he was bounced back into reality once more.
Jian Yi exhaled, but knew that this was far from the end. Once Wen Xuan became obstinate, he wouldn’t concede so easily.
This time, Jian Yi even actively placed his forehead against Wen Xuan’s.
Moments later, it was the same result once again.
The same thing, they’ve lost count of how many times they’ve tried. Wen Xuan didn’t know how many times he had failed. Every time, Jian Yi would seem a bit more tired, but Wen Xuan’s exhaustion was even more pronounced. The two people who haven’t argued for quite some time, strangely collided over this kind of situation in a relentless manner.
Jian Yi guarded himself tightly, Wen Xuan desperately attempted to break through. No one was willing to surrender and take a step back.
It wasn’t until the moon was high up in the sky, and Wen Xuan was bounced back out into reality after some countless number of times that Jian Yi opened his mouth and asked in a slightly hoarse voice: “Shixiong, is this enough?”
Wen Xuan looked at him, not even capable of catching his breath for the moment. Those two narrow walls were only the first barrier that Jian Yi set up. Although Wen Xuan was able to break through it every time, it would consume a large amount of his mental and physical effort each time, causing his face color to look extraordinarily pale right now.
“Shixiong,” Although Jian Yi was also tired right now, the worry he felt for Wen Xuan was the reason he had to speak up: “It’s enough, right?”
Yea, it’s enough. The original drive to persevere and refuse defeat no matter what, has already been worn down after all of these countless failures. Wen Xuan only felt dejected and disheartened.
He quietly looked at Jian Yi, but did not respond for quite a time.
“Jian shidi,” When he finally opened his mouth, he said: “I can’t reach the bottom of your heart at all, right?”
Jian Yi answered very quickly: “You’re already deep in my heart. The bottom of my heart is all you.”
These words were the truth. The images on those walls were ironclad proof. Yet that was only the outermost layer of Jian Yi’s heart. There were even more hidden areas that Jian Yi held onto tightly, areas he’d rather die than let Wen Xuan know.
He’d really rather die before conceding, no exaggerations here. He’d rather achieve partial success, would rather have his own life continue to be bound to Wen Xuan’s fate, than willingly let Wen Xuan see everything in his heart.
Wen Xuan really wanted to ask him: why.
Why are you still blocking me outside when you’re already willing to die for me?
But a similar question could be asked back: He was already willing to die for you, why are you so insistent about this?
Wen Xuan smiled, carrying a hint of self-mockery: “Alright. I was being greedy.”
He looked like he finally thought this through, but inside his heart, he still was gloomy and unhappy. Jian Yi supported him by the elbow, worried. Wen Xuan shook his head, then looked at Jian Yi for a moment before suddenly asking: “Jian shidi, you said before that you lived very happily in your original world. Actually you were lying to me, right?”
As soon as he said these words, Jian Yi stiffened very visibly.
After a moment, Jian Yi pretended to act naturally: “Shixiong, how come you’re suddenly asking this?”
“I only suddenly thought about it.” Wen Xuan said. Thinking about what Jian Yi would hide in his heart, what could he possibly hide, what exactly was it that made him object to Wen Xuan knowing so much. Then he realized: “Although you said what you said about your past, in actuality, ever since we met, you’ve never thought about home.”
If someone really had a wonderful life with a perfect family, why would they, after arriving in such a distant world, only care about the joy of meeting a character they knew from a novel, and not think about home at all?
Jian Yi opened his mouth, but only felt extremely dry and coarse inside, completely unable to speak at all.
Some things, he had expended all efforts to conceal. Yet it just had to be in this kind of completely unexpected place, where they ended up becoming accidentally exposed.
After a long time, Jian Yi finally squeezed out five words: “It’s all in the past.”
If it were really all in the past, then it wouldn’t be something impossible to face. Wen Xuan understood this logic well, but could only sigh.
So those things that were hidden inside Jian Yi’s heart all belonged to things that happened in the previous world. Things that were clearly unhappy but were pretended to be otherwise by him, right? Perhaps this was the truth, or maybe not. Jian Yi refused to let Wen Xuan see, so Wen Xuan didn’t know anything. With guessing, there’s always the possibility of guessing wrong.
“Shixiong, Regardless of how I was before, it all no longer matters.” Jian Yi said hastily to him, expressing rather anxiously: “Ever since we met, I’ve only been the me that you know. Why still care about those things in the past? Those things are no longer related to me at all. Ever since we met, I have only wanted to be together with you.”
“En.” Wen Xuan nodded and suddenly said: “Me too.”
Jian Yi was stunned.
“I only want to be together with you.” Wen Xuan said.
Jian Yi recovered from his shock, face beaming with a red light, unable to contain his joy.
Wen Xuan rubbed his head and expressed with a smile: “Jian shidi, today I was too stubborn and ended up dragging you along and tormenting you for this long. It’s already so late, are you tired?”
Jian Yi was naturally tired but he’d never answer that: “Shixiong, don’t say it like this. You were only trying to get rid of the empathy parasite, that’s all.”
“En.” Wen Xuan nodded his head and agreed quietly.
After that, the two people chatted casually until Jian Yi finally couldn’t handle it. Saying goodbye to Wen Xuan, he returned to his own abode to rest.
Although Wen Xuan prepared a room for him here, ever since Jian Yi returned to the Sect, Qi Jibai acted more or less like a shifu. If Jian Yi stayed out for an entire night, he probably wouldn’t be able to avoid being reprimanded by his shifu.
After Jian Yi left, Wen Xuan sat inside his abode. Where was the easy smile he had previously? Even both of his hands unconsciously clenched tightly into fists.
How frustrating. He was still unable to accept.
Grinding his teeth, Wen Xuan spoke his previous complaint again quietly: “……This isn’t fair.”
There was someone here, that knew everything about you, that accepted everything about you, and repeatedly said that he would stay together with you, forever.
Yet, you knew absolutely nothing about him.
Yeah! No fair JY!
Thank You for the chapter ♡ (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)
Fiquei com raiva e decepcionada, poxa Jian… Mas dá pra entender…
YEA! THIS IS A POWER IMBALANCE QAQ
LET MY BABY KNOW YOU OTHER CHILD
SI ¡¡¡ES MUY FRUSTANTE!!!
Little brat let me beat you
Making Xiao Wen feel bad! Hmph!!
This was indeed very frustrating and unfair for wen xuan. I’m angry with jian yi…no idea how he can earn my forgiveness
JY is being cruel. And one sided. He knows everything and keep peaking into the will of heaven to see more but refuse to share about himself .
A mysterious guy is attractive, right 😂😂😂😂😂
That piece was almost too difficult to read. I’m crying now.
Honestly this isn’t fair to Wen Xuan but Jian Yi will let him in eventually at least when he is ready but he said he even die than let him see so it’s that serious
I forgot how JY pissed me off the first time reading…