Editor: Junyans
Laying under the blanket, Xia Tian could feel the effects of the drugs receding from his body like the ebbing tide. With each passing second, he became more awake. More hateful. He would never revert to his previous self.
He let go of Bai Jingan, left the blanket that made him feel safe, and put his clothes on with a gelid expression.
He was certain that Bai Jingan wouldn’t appreciate them lying naked under the blanket once he was awake. He had the right to some dignity.
His comrade-in-arms still lay on that filthy bed, his eyes empty and unfocused, as if he couldn’t see anything, his soul sinking into an untouchable darkness.
Xia Tian expressionlessly put away the Marshmallow and tucked the most handy gun into his waistband, not even bothering to cover it with clothes. His body bore traces of lovemaking everywhere, but he had no desire to bathe or recuperate here, and he was sure Bai Jingan wouldn’t want to either. They just wanted to get the hell out of here as far as possible.
The room was filled with the scent of sex and bloodstains were visible everywhere, as if it was a battlefield. Their clothes lay scattered on the floor. Xia Tian picked up Bai Jingan’s shirt, but he was unsure of what to do, and so he ultimately decided to leave it. He walked to the side of the bed, wrapped Bai Jingan up in the blanket, carefully lifted him horizontally, and left the apartment.
Bai Jingan twitched when Xia Tian touched him, as he was not fully awake yet. His usually neat black hair was bedraggled, his face was stained with blood and tears, and his body under the blanket was covered in bruises, seemingly without a single intact spot. He could only be carried by him, as he was unable to even lift a finger.
Xia Tian carried him out of the room. It was already bright outside. Sunlight streamed through the Upper City, illuminating the path ahead. It was a dazzling sight. Trembling, Bai Jingan suddenly closed his eyes, as if the light outside would burn him.
Xia Tian held him tighter. Their car was parked outside the apartment. Everything was as usual. Except for the nightmarish sex, it seemed like nothing had happened.
Xia Tian swept his gaze across the seemingly sturdy world. The midday sun was shining ahead, but all he saw was darkness. He averted his gaze, opened the car door, carefully placed Bai Jingan in the back seat, and unfolded the seat to make it a bed, so that he could lie down more comfortably.
Bai Jingan stirred, but it was barely a twitch as he was without the energy to even move. Xia Tian saw a sticky fluid trickling down his ankle… Bai Jingan abruptly brought his legs up and hid them under the blanket. His weak body tensed up again. He buried his face in the fabric, as if this would make him disappear from the world.
It took Xia Tian three seconds to realize that it was his own semen.
He clutched the roof of the car with one hand. As the burning sunlight screamed and danced at the edges of his vision, he felt like vomiting.
Beside him, Bai Jingan lay in the back seat, trying hard to curl up. He didn’t have the strength to wipe away those marks, so he just tried to hide his feet as much as possible.
After that, he just stared blankly at the back of the seat. But his vision swam, unable to hold focus. Those people had hollowed him out and tasted his flesh, leaving behind an empty shell. All that remained was a flicker of despair and a sense of shame huddled up inside him.
Xia Tian stood stiffly for a few seconds, then walked to the driver’s seat and started the car.
Xia Tian drove the car as steadily as possible, turned the car uphill, and drove away from the Lower City.
They would return to the big house given by the Floating Gold Group. Bai Jingan’s old house had been transformed into a memorial hall—they had taken away everything they wanted—and thus they had nowhere to go except that big house.
He had never felt the chain around his neck so clearly. It was so maddeningly tight.
The slender, fragile highway dangled precariously in mid-air. Xia Tian peered down at the city below, his countenance grim. The darkness of the Lower City resembled a nightmare, while the entire world above it was bathed in sunlight and seemed to be ablaze.
A living hell.
Nestled amidst lush greenery, the villa given by the company exuded an air of elegance and tranquility, resembling a veritable paradise.
It was the pinnacle for the stars of the Upper City, the peak of Mount Olympus. No one knew how much corrupted flesh and blood lay beneath the sunlight, flowers, and villas.
Xia Tian drove the car all the way in. Under the sunlight, flowers bloomed everywhere, wild and unrestrained. The gentle murmur of flowing water reached his ears, and occasional flashes of reflected light caught his eye. A glimpse of the villa’s corner, nestled amidst the verdant expanse, flitted past like a string of elegant musical notes, suggesting a world where happiness was the natural order of things.
He kept looking at Bai Jingan in the rearview mirror, who lay folded in on himself. Only a fugitive curl of ebony hair was peeking out from the blanket, while the rest of his body seemed to have been swallowed up and disappeared.
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Xia Tian stared at him until he saw him move, and only then he felt relieved.
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The black sedan passed through this crazy wonderland, running over deliberately-aged stone paths, rolling over bushes and wildflowers, and headed towards the dazzling villa meant for stars.
The villa was covered in glass windows, with some walls entirely transparent, allowing ample sunlight in. Under the noon sun, it reflected a dazzling brilliance, a shimmering mirage of grandeur.
For a moment, Xia Tian wanted to step on the accelerator and smash the transparent and reflective walls. But on second thought, he wasn’t sure if that was what he really wanted. This behavior was meaningless. He was just sick and tired of the crazy splendor.
So, in the end, he didn’t do it. He parked in front of the villa, got out of the car, hesitated for a moment, then opened the backseat door.
Bai Jingan had already struggled to sit up. For a moment, Xia Tian was unsure if he could walk. But as soon as he opened the door, the man reached out to the back of the seat for support and stumbled out of the car.
Xia Tian stepped back. Bai Jingan was still wrapped in a deep brown blanket. As his bare feet stepped onto the stone path, he looked thin and disheveled. Traces of dried semen could still be seen on his ankles, but his movements were decisive.
He took a step, staggered, and fell to the ground.
Xia Tian took a half step forward, but ultimately didn’t dare to reach out to help. Bai Jingan struggled to his feet. In this place of birdsong and fragrant flowers, this star at the peak of the Killing Show looked like a crippled ghost, but he still insisted on walking on his own.
He walked crookedly into the living room, with Xia Tian following behind. He watched him struggle to move himself onto the sofa, his movements extremely awkward. He was a piece of wreckage stained with the filth of sex and the dirty gazes of the bigwigs, but he still stubbornly tried to do something—even if it was just walking.
The living room was quiet and empty.
Despite having the best location, architecture, and furniture, they were all marked with the logos of top luxury brands from the Upper City.
Maybe they were the same.
Xia Tian checked the situation in the house—these days, you had to run anti-surveillance programs everywhere—and saw a digital note left by Huitian, saying that Dee Dee was fine, was at her place, and would come back in a couple of days. The company hadn’t arranged anything for these two days, so they could stay at home and take a good rest.
She didn’t mention anything about the Guest Show, as if it didn’t exist.
Xia Tian closed the note and went to get the medical kit, scowling. The Killing Show stars had the best medical sponsors, so there would be plenty of branded medical supplies in the house.
He found it immediately and placed it where it belonged, pretending that the world was still in order.
He took out the first aid kit, walked to the living room, and placed it on the table before uncertainly looking at Bai Jingan. They were used to helping each other with injuries, but at this moment, all the old habits had been shattered.
Wrapped in a blanket, his body bare beneath, the man stared intently at the corner of the table. Through the finely crafted wood, his gaze fell upon an expanse of nothingness. He was trapped in his own dark world, which was filled with extreme anger, hostility, and loneliness.
“Lil’ Bai…” Xia Tian called softly.
The man lifted his head and studied him for a moment, as if he had just emerged from his own inner world. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out, as if he had forgotten how to speak.
He paused, searching for the memory of words again. “I… I’ll do it myself…” he said.
His gray eyes were lifeless, like embers that had died down to cold ash.
“I’m fine…” he said again, “You go… deal with your wounds.”
Xia Tian nodded.
Bai Jingan remained motionless, showing no intention of reaching for the first aid kit. Instead, he lowered his head once more, his gaze fixed on the shadow beneath the corner of the table. Despite the copious sunlight streaming into the living room, his features were shrouded in a deep gloom, casting an aura of coldness and lifelessness.
Xia Tian stood in the living room’s dim light for a moment, then reached out, took a package of self-healing bandages and turned to go to his room.
He knew that there were times when you just had to be alone. When the wounds were too deep to bear even a sliver of light, too fragile to withstand the slightest touch and you had no idea where you were falling, all you could do was retreat into the darkness and preserve a shred of dignity.
He reached the bedroom door, but couldn’t resist turning back to look at Bai Jingan.
The man remained seated, his head bowed, silent. His shoulders convulsed uncontrollably underneath the sunlight streaming through the window. He did not lift his head for a long time.
Xia Tian whipped around, yanked the door open, and slipped inside.
Bai Jingan didn’t want anyone to see him like this, and neither did he.
No one had the right to see that.
Pushing past the unfamiliar bedroom door, Xia Tian tossed the bandages on the table and made a beeline for the bathroom.
Stepping into the spacious, opulent bathroom, he froze for a second before a sudden wave of nausea slammed into him. He lurched for the toilet, doubling over and emptying his stomach.
Everything from their apartment lunch earlier came back up, followed by nothing but bitter bile. Even when his stomach was completely empty, he continued to dry heave, which left him too weak to stand.
After a long while, a fragment of strength returned to him. Xia Tian pushed himself up, stumbled to the shower, and cranked the handle.
Stripping off his clothes felt like too much effort, so he walked straight under the shower, only to find that the water was cold. It was damn chilly for this time of year.
He braced himself against the wall for a moment, then sank slowly beneath the icy stream. The water soaked through his hair, streamed down his face, and drenched his clothes. It also washed away some of the blood caking his palms. The stark red against the white tiles was like a slender, horrifying crack disappearing into the drain.
His hands wouldn’t stop shaking. The wounds stung as they soaked in water. It felt like some malicious venom was spreading, trying to consume him whole. But he just didn’t have it in him to care.
He knew he should take his clothes off, and maybe switch the water to hot. But the thought of moving was unbearable.
He hugged his knees, curling into a tight ball under the relentless cold. His shoulders were tight, like when he had been a child.
And then, the tears came.
Xia Tian wasn’t sure how long he had been under the cold water before he remembered to raise his hand and turn off the shower.
He huddled there for a while longer, thinking that he really should have just died back then. Then he thought that he should go and check on Bai Jingan. He’d probably want to be alone, but someone would need to make sure that he was alright.
He slowly got up, changed out of his wet clothes, and headed downstairs.
It was already dark outside, and the house was empty. He didn’t see Bai Jingan, but he knew the other man was still here, a primal instinct telling him so. He figured that Bai Jingan was probably in his bedroom.
Xia Tian wandered into the kitchen before flipping on the light to see if there was anything edible. He doubted if Bai Jingan had eaten anything since the incident, and he figured that the man might need some sustenance.
As he rummaged through the cabinets, he noticed that his right hand was quivering, unable to exert any strength. He then remembered the unattended wound. With a sigh of resignation, he decided to postpone tending to it and continued his search for food. The house was stocked with everything one could need for a comfortable life, almost as if someone could really live happily here.
He was thinking about cooking some noodles and surprisingly found some vegetables. Bai Jingan would need something softer to eat. He hoped that he would be willing to eat. He needed to eat.
Despite the inconvenience brought by his injured hand, Xia Tian, being a seasoned veteran of the Killing Show, had no trouble maneuvering kitchen utensils with one hand. He cooked up a pot of noodles, the aroma wafting through the air enticingly.
Then he heard footsteps behind him.
For a moment, Xia Tian didn’t dare to turn around, his gaze fixed on the simmering pot of noodles. His nerves were on high alert, every fiber of his being tensed. He could hear Bai Jingan slowly settling into the chair across from the counter. He was not very steady on his feet, so he held onto the table carefully.
Xia Tian turned off the stove, grabbed a bowl, and carefully ladled out a portion for Bai Jingan, adding an extra helping of hot broth. He then turned around and carefully brought the bowl to him.
Bai Jingan sat there, his appearance somewhat improved after a quick cleanup. He had showered and changed into fresh clothes. His face was still pale, but the warm glow of the kitchen lights cast a soft hue upon him. In this setting, he looked slender and harmless, exuding an air of domesticity. He seemed like someone who belonged in a sunlit living room, surrounded by the tranquility of home.
He looked at Xia Tian’s hand with a dark expression.
Xia Tian instinctively hid his injured hand behind his back. He hoped that Bai Jingan would just eat first, but the other man watched him intently, not letting the matter drop.
“I forgot,” Xia Tian muttered softly.
Bai Jingan sighed and made a move to get up, but Xia Tian quickly interjected, “I’ll do it myself.”
After he saw Bai Jingan return to his seat, Xia Tian ventured into the dimly lit living room to retrieve the first aid kit. The only source of light there was the cold moonlight, which illuminated nothing. He turned his head to look at the kitchen, where there was a bit of light spilling out in a warm orange color. Bai Jingan was there, and it almost filled him with fear.
But it also felt like an exit from hell—he knew it wasn’t real, yet couldn’t help but long for it uncontrollably.
Silently, he returned to the kitchen, the first aid kit in hand. Bai Jingan sat at the counter, watching him, his gaze unwavering despite his weakened state.
Xia Tian set down the first aid kit and, under Bai Jingan’s watchful eye, tended to his injured hand. The other man didn’t allow for any sloppiness or mistakes, his scrutiny ensuring a thorough job.
After bandaging the wound, the pain-relieving properties of the medical bandage quickly took effect, and Xia Tian felt much better. A warmth washed over him, and he moved his fingers slightly to indicate to Bai Jingan that it wasn’t serious.
He returned to his seat, pulled his own food over, and nudged Bai Jingan’s bowl towards him.
Bai Jingan finally took the bowl and picked up his chopsticks. They ate in silence, both exhausted and in dire need of replenishing their energy.
The space hung heavy with an emptiness that the fierce battle had left in its wake. It had hollowed out a part of them, devouring it. Their familial bond had been scorched to ashes in the heat of their lust, and the once-solid ground had crumbled into dust. Everything felt desolate.
But under the warm glow of the orange lights, the food in their stomachs ignited a flicker of warmth, recreating a semblance of homeliness.
Xia Tian could feel Bai Jingan’s gaze on him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look back.
“I checked the situation outside,” Bai Jingan said softly, “The purchase rate of the Guest Show is still increasing, causing quite a stir.”
Xia Tian nodded, and Bai Jingan continued, “All of them are those scenes of you in the cage…”
Xia Tian’s hand wavered, and the bowl clattered lightly against the countertop as it fell from his grasp. He hid his hand under the table, his body shuddering uncontrollably. It could be the lingering effects of the cold shower or the medication, and he didn’t know how to stop it.
Bai Jingan paused and turned to look at him.
“It’s fine,” Xia Tian muttered.
Bai Jingan remained silent, and Xia Tian, unsure of what to say, offered weakly, “Really, it’s… not that bad…”
He heard Bai Jingan stand up abruptly and walk towards him. Xia Tian’s entire body tensed up, bracing himself for the inevitable unpleasantness on Bai Jingan’s face.
“We’ll be fine,” Bai Jingan declared.
Xia Tian’s gaze remained fixed on the floor, his fingers clenching into fists.
Bai Jingan reached out and gently touched his hair, but Xia Tian flinched away, the sound of the chair leg scraping against the floor echoing sharply in the silence. In a swift motion, Bai Jingan’s hand clamped down on Xia Tian’s chin, forcing him to look up. Despite his enfeebled state, he had used all his strength, not allowing any resistance.
His eyes, brimming with paranoid darkness and anger, locked onto Xia Tian’s. Slowly, deliberately, he enunciated each word, “We. Will. Be. Fine!”
Not me crying my eyes out
I just hope that they will give these bigshots the taste of their bullets though I doubt it will even come close to the torment inflicted upon these poor souls
Holy shit this just makes my heart ache terribly
Thank you so much for your hard work, Piapia
I’m sure it couldn’t have been emotionally easy to work on these last chapters