824
After the livestream, I nestled at Jiang Ran’s place for a few days more.
“Shuyao, our title track MV has been released.”
“Oh.” I was gaming in bed; all my attention was focused on spreading gunfire and I didn’t have any spare mind to bother with him.
“Aren’t you going to watch it?”
“No time, I’m eating chicken…” I flipped over. “Tell Brother Cheng to post a Weibo for me.”
Ever since all my vests dropped, I ventured on the path to Buddhahood and left behind material pursuits, letting my agent manage all the publicity work.
825
Just as I was having a fierce showdown with that group of little brats, I suddenly got a Weibo notification.
[Your Special Focus: Jiang Ran has posted a Weibo…]
Piece of shit, damn you! Laozi is in the end game now!
A quarter of the screen was blocked off by that on-screen notification. In a moment of inattention, I…
It was a different story, but the ending was still the same.
“Fuck!” I angrily slammed my phone down, glaring viciously at Jiang Ran.
He held his half-full glass of wine, calmly gazing back at me.
826
I hatefully left the match and opened Weibo.
Jiang Ran √ : Contracted the hardworking Teacher Mo. From the moment our eyes met, even if there are myriad paths between us, I’ll always soar straight to you. @Mo Shuyao A’Yao √ @NetEase Music √
Har? The literary aura of the great poet Jiang slammed me in the face.
However, the comments section had exploded:
> The old fogey has come online to spout words of love; everyone, come and bury your heads in dogfood!!!
> Wtf President Jiang’s love lines… sorry, today is the day that I’ve fallen out of love, I no longer know this man.
> Ahhhhh their eye contact is so sweet I’m combusting!!! Burning Book is RIO!!
827
Seriously, is rio the only vocabulary burning book girls know how to scream these days?
Clearly the content they cook up are all frisky boys.
Once I thought of this, I felt disgruntled. “Jiang Ran, if you flirt so daringly, aren’t you afraid that people would say we are deliberately stirring wheat bran for promotional purposes?”
“What is wheat bran?” Jiang Ran couldn’t understand, asking back.
“It means selling gaybait to hype things up.”
Jiang Ran sipped his wine, then placed down the glass and slowly walked to the beside. He reached out and touched between my legs, and his eyelashes brushed my eyelids. “You’re already mine, do we still need to sell it?”
“……” Pigs can fly, Jiang Ran can flirt.
828
I used my knee to push his elbow away. “What are you doing, it’s so early in the day.”
“Does that mean that it’s okay to do this at night?” Jiang Ran smiled for a long time before releasing me.
Incorrigible.
I rolled in bed, retreating to the headboard, then taking my phone in a valiant attempt to regain my last shreds of dignity.
I commented beneath: Who wants your contract?? [yellow budgie] [doesn’t your conscience hurt.jpg]
Jiang Ran quickly replied: [I was wrong, I won’t do it next time.jpg]
H a r ?
We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.
Annoyed. That was a meme that laozi had personally created back when I was spoofing him!
20-sfjg-biv ili’ Aljcu ujnf j vfnlilrtis mtjgwlcu rwlif ogbw atf rmgffc, ojez rlcmfglas lc tlr jqbibus.
Ktf rqfmajalcu ojcr fzqibvfv jujlc:
> HAHAHA Teacher Mo’s meme packs have been stolen by Jiang Ran!
> Are the two of them now sharing ♂ resources? Can you let us enter your photo library too??
> The love story of Mdm. Ji’er x Tyrannical CEO; otherwise known as, Mr. Doting fell for Mr. Strong.
829
P tjnf cb kbgvr.
Po sbe mjc’a yfja atfw, atfc yfja la…
Mjgfkfii!
830
Aljcu Ejc kjr rfjafv bc atf rlvf bo atf yfv kjamtlcu wf jii atlr ktlif.
I flipped over, wearing my earphones to watch the MV.
It was a love song, taking clips from drama and during the studio recording.
At first, I was immersed in laozi’s moving singing voice and exquisite acting technique. However, when the video cut to the footage from the studio recording, I was dumbfounded.
As I offered my voice in song to the microphone with deep emotion, Jiang Ran’s gaze was always on me.
Never, leaving, for, one, second.
831
What the heck?
No wonder those burning book girls were so excited.
Jiang Ran suddenly closed in, trapping my waist in his arm. “Shuyao, this video is not bad. We can play it during our wedding in the future.”
“Are you for real?” I whipped my head over and glared at him. “Can this sort of editing technique match up to laozi’s professional standard? Obviously, our Love MV has to be done by yours truly.”
833
Pisces finally started broadcasting. Purely based on my stellar acting technique, laozi’s account rose by several tens of thousands of fans daily, walking up to the pinnacle of life in one shot.
That little friend who previously said he would eat shit on livestream came back to apologise on my Weibo.
What can I do then? Of course I chose to forgive him.
833
Soon, clips of us dominated the little broken platform.
To check if the quality of this batch of burning book girls were up to standard, after showering, I comfortably sprawled in bed, preparing to inspect the goods.
I chose a video on the homepage with coins in the ten thousands.
[Pisces/Dual POV] Unboxing Burning Book with a Seductress, diabetes-inducing sweet!!
Oh-ho? This looks quite promising~
When I clicked into it, the comment barrage was a neat line-up of—
> What’s coming will come
> A rite of passage for every CP
Etc, etc.
834
“What are you smiling at?” Jiang Ran came out of the bathroom.
“Oh, nothing much.” I lowered the volume slightly.
“Another parody mashup?” He tossed the towel aside, lifting me by my waist and draping me on his thigh.
My body leaned back, brushing against his still dripping hair.
“No, a proper video this time,” I corrected.
As the third male lead, Wen Zhao was acting as my colleague in the drama. In the early episodes of the drama, he took me as a role model, buttering me up all day long; in the latter half of the drama, he worshipped Jiang Ran, following behind him and licking ass.
And so, in this 3-minutes long video, what he reaped was:
A certain guy surnamed Jiang, rolling his eyes x10086.
A certain guy surnamed Mo, rolling his eyes xID number.
855
After the video finished, Jiang Ran’s gaze was brimming with approval. “This content-creator did great. Shuyao, hurry up and send him coins.”
“……” I elbowed him. “This granny’s skill level is too low, my edits are much better than his.”
Yet Jiang Ran completely sidestepped me, stretching his arm past my armpits and giving him the full like-comment-share array.
Omg, wth! This is my account, okay?!
836
“Hm? There are many videos of us under this.” He casually opened another one.
And then I saw that familiar account name:
Has the CP I ship become official yet
And the name of the song was: [Stockholm Lovers]
Holy shit?!
Isn’t this the BGM on the little broken platform dedicated to driving cars?
I was gobsmacked. “Isn’t this the bastard account that your agents are using?”
Jiang Ran nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t know they are still upkeeping it, they’re so conscientious.”
Conscientious, my ass.
I was getting an ominous feeling about this.
Sure enough, these flooded the comment barrage:
> Do you really think that the Teachers don’t come onto the broken platform?
> Teacher Jiang, Teacher Mo, quickly flee now!!
> Hahahaha isn’t Teacher Mo the no.1 parody mashup bro, he’ll surely see this.
Then another netizen came along and piped in:
> Teacher Mo, please give pointers [doge]
Me, in Jiang Ran’s embrace: tremble.
837
It opened quite normally. Then about a minute later, the comment barrage started to flood the screen:
> Screening curtain, high energy alert!
> No joke, high energy alert ahead!
> One last time: Teachers, if you’re here, it isn’t too late to run away yet!
Jiang Ran was extremely dissatisfied, “They’re too much, they’re blocking the screen.”
Before I could react, Jiang Ran had already turned off the comment barrage.
At almost the same time, a sultry mandala knocked into a red wine glass, dyeing crimson red over the clean white bedsheets.
I was completely stunned.
A bony spine, slender fingers, silver handcuffs… every element flashed across my eyes.
Accompanied by the music, thin fingers dug into the back, and the large hands of the person on top stroked across the other’s shivering thighs.
WTF! Am I actually watching myself get sexed up on the broken platform??
What horseassery is this demonic black magic technique??
“They’ve gone too far!” I was so pissed that I flung my phone. “Jiang Ran, why are the minds of your agents filled with this sort of lewd junk!”
“Isn’t this our daily life?”
“Piss off!” I flailed, trying to scramble out of his hold. “Just you wait, I’m going to turn you into a parody mashup right now!”
838
“Hm? Haven’t you had enough of that yet?”
Reaching out, he hooked his arm around me, stroking my big boy.
“Mm…” My body instantly went limp, falling back into his arms. “Jiang Ran, you!”
“Then do you still dare to make parody mashups of me?” he continued to ask.
Having just finished my shower, I was only wearing a shirt and a pair of boxers; this thin layer beneath immediately stirred.
I leaned against him, begging to be let off. “No, no I don’t, I swear I won’t, let me go…”
But Jiang Ran didn’t have any intention of letting me off.
“Teacher Mo.” He reached under my shirt. He blew gently in my ear. “If I don’t treat you well, how will you cut our sweet Love MV?”
839
When I awoke, the sky was already bright.
Out of habit, I was sleeping on my side, and Jiang Ran was plastered to my back, his pig trotter still wound around my waist.
“……” I wanted to speak but found that my throat was hoarse. I coughed dryly.
“Awake?” His embrace around me tightened. His chin was hooked over my shoulder, and he softly pecked my face.
“Mm.” I inclined my head, lightly nuzzling him.
840
We hugged like this for a while before Jiang Ran turned my body over.
Our eyes met.
I instinctively averted my gaze. “What.”
“Nothing much, I just suddenly want to kiss you.” He smiled and cupped my face.
A deep kiss fell on my lips.
As if we could…
Kiss to the end of time.
The author has something to say:
Thank you for accompanying me during this one and a half months. Parody mashups is now complete. The novel is meant to tell a simple story; don’t ask me whether or not they’ll be flamed online or what obstacles they’ll face in the future. This is an idealised story. Once again, thanks all, I’ll slowly put up the extras [fingerheart]~
The translator has something to say:
I won’t deny that this is a flawed novel in many ways. But keep in mind, the author didn’t lock the chapters, it’s completely free to read on gongzicp. They wrote this purely to have fun. And imo, I feel they executed what they were going for wonderfully. I had a good laugh when reading it anyway.
Likewise, I also picked this up for fun, purely out of curiosity, because of how untranslatable it felt to me when reading it. Even now, what I’ve done has its limits; leaving aside the slang and wordplays, jokes referencing pop culture are something that would be lost in the explanation, and catchphrases don’t quite evoke the same effect even if it makes sense after being translated.
Nevertheless, I hope the humour came through adequately enough and that you enjoyed the read. Also, I took this on as a casual project and pretty much sped through without editing as much as I usually try to, so pardon my grammar and slip-ups. This is the last chapter of the main text, there’s one more extra on gongzicp, from Jiang Ran’s POV.
OMG. I can’t believe this is already the end 😭. I Can’t have enough of this, I’m gonna reread this Hundreds of time, i just know it..sniff I Love those babies so much, Thank you so much for translating this, and giving us this beautiful thing, and increasing my knowledge about Chinese slangs.
Thank you so much for all of this, especially the very very fast updates. I can’t Thank you enough.♡♡♡♡
I must admit that Jiang Rang is not amongst my favorite ML’s but I adored Mo Shuyao’s silliness.
Thank you for your hard work! <3
Thank you for your hardwork 🤍
Although there were times that I couldn’t understand some phrases yet the overall story was one hilarious sweet drama…. they are so cute together ❤ Thank you for translating 💖
Thanks for your hard work!
Another giggle fest comes to an end… 😌. These two are just so adorkable!
I had too much fun reading this, thank you author and thank you translator for translating all the references and carrying over the essence to English. Thank you for your hard work
Flawed or not (though honestly I feel this truly was executed wonderfully) this story was a lovely discovery. The humor was great and the characters were just wonderful. I had a blast reading this! Thank you for picking it up! ❤
The amount of flinging that MSYs phone has experienced. Does someone have any idea what brand it is? If it’s been flung so many times and it’s still working, it’s definitely a brand that will stand the test of time 😂
I think the grumpy Tsundere MC and the black bellied ML worked pretty well together. You did a wonderful job translating.
So sweet. Thanks for releasing
My heart, the last scene. I can’t breathe, this dogfood is too much!!!!!
But in other news, I’m running to ao3 right away because I honestly can’t bear to part with my baobeis 😭😭😭
Thank you so much for translating this novel!
They are so cute cute!! Its make me melt melt TT_TT💕