After Getting Gayified, I Swore Off Parody MashupsCh35 - Working hard for the family

697

The photography studio was filled with a wide range of clothes. W RrVO

The moment I walked in, my gaze sharpened.

They always said that people rely on gold robes the way horses rely on saddles. In the past, I couldn’t afford to wear a suit, now laozi can wear a whole wardrobe to my heart’s content.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

Getting rich overnight is not a dream!!

  32dNFx

698

When the young lady saw us come in, she greeted us with a smile. “Hello Teacher Mo and Teacher Jiang. I’m impressed, the two of you have developed really good chemistry after co-starring in a drama and getting to know each other. My eyes feel blessed just from looking at you both standing together.”

???

I frowned doubtfully.

7to8Mn

Young miss, your way of complimenting someone is… a bit weird.

Jiang Ran chuckled softly behind me.

Erm. I’m getting a bad feeling about this.

  Akr5NU

699

A staff member brought us to the lounge, showing us the brand material and telling us the concept behind the shoot.

“This endorsement is a campaign for our latest spring launch of suits and sleepwear. Our design philosophy is to keep the clothes apt for the occasion whilst being comfortable to wear…”

I wasn’t interested in listening to her prattle on incessantly, reading the copywriting myself instead. ZMvVR0

However, as an established menswear brand, Koel had a mature design philosophy and styling.

Not bad, not bad. I don’t get the previous one, but this one passes my critical eye.

I silently praised in my head, then casually flipped a few more pages.

WTF?? laDisG

My smile immediately solidified.

 

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700

I blinked hard. Yes, my eyes didn’t deceive me. PBcW2Q

In this bullshit copywriting, Jiang Ran was portrayed as an elite businessman in a suit, whereas I’m… the househusband in my pyjamas, cooking and walking the dog at home.

Not only that, most of the short 15-seconds are spent on a lovey-dovey scene of the two adult men in pyjamas.

[stunned doggy.jpg]

  xMAXwZ

701

I’ve never seen such a piece of dogshit with no substance!!

Do you really think that I’ve never done ad copywriting?

  Ljmyub

702

So I slapped the copy down on the table, questioning, “Why is the focus of this campaign on home living and sleepwear?”

The lady smiled, “Isn’t family the reason that all of us work hard?”

Ho, you even have an excuse prepared. BAXv2k

I refused to believe in evil, asking, “Even if it’s about home living, you can’t have two men doing a pyjamas commercial together.”

We’re sorry for MTLers or people who like using reading mode, but our translations keep getting stolen by aggregators so we’re going to bring back the copy protection. If you need to MTL please retype the gibberish parts.

Ktf ijvs rjlv vglis, “Dea kf jgf j wfcrkfjg ygjcv, kf bcis vb wfcrkfjg.”

“……”

P mjc’a yfja atlr tjgvmbgf ibulm. EX7N2j

Vjs cb wbgf, rjs cb wbgf.

Mjgfkfii!

Chrysanthemum Garden.

 

703 PgM2zy

Lfjglcu atlr, Aljcu Ejc jirb mtemxifv. “Tfjt, jii bo beg tjgv kbgx lr obg beg ojwlis. Pa’r j ugfja wbaab. Kfjmtfg Zb, vbc’a ifa sbeg bmmeqjalbcji tjylar ufa ab sbe.”

I shot him a suspicious look.

No wonder I felt something was wrong with the atmosphere as soon as I entered.

Jiang Ran, I’m only giving you one second. Spit it out— DLQXv3

Did you conspire with them to change the copy specifically to screw with me again!!

 

704

Shouldn’t mature masculinity be accentuated in a simple and explosive manner? 1QIkPw

Something like this:

> Seductive wild youth, do you aspire for success? Are you still stuck at the crosswords of loneliness? Do you wish to be an alpha male at the apex of the food chain? You just don’t know that you’re only missing one thing to get there—a single item from Koel Menswear! 100% cotton from the highest plateau of a snow mountain, a gift from the top of the world, an offering from the purity of nature, the first choice for world’s richest. The number 1 discount in the whole world is happening now! Time is ticking away, don’t lose it! Buy, buy, buy!

Or like this:

> Clearance sale! Clearance sale! World-renowned male menswear clothing Koel is having a mega sale! Koel Menswear, the way you stand out amongst men. Buy 1 and you are free of all worries, buy 2 and you are exploding with charisma, buy 3 and you are out of the world. You only need 998 yuan to buy the vanity set home! gvU4qW

 

705

Forced into wearing mens sleepwear, I spat out a tirade of curses as I stood before the mirror.

I once again thought back to the horror of being made into a parody mashup and the humiliation of going wild with a certain JR man surnamed Hong while wearing Pin Ru’s pyjamas. gvZFQN

-ad- Pin Ru Home, the men’s wardrobe…

Oh, shoot. I entered the wrong BGM again.

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[your father is weeping.jpg]

  6ypWXP

706

The shoot officially began. The first scene was of me lying on the sofa, asleep. CEO Jiang was supposed to be coming home, taking off his suit jacket and draping it over me.

What dogpoop menswear advertisement is this, laozi has clearly taken the heroine script!

I shamefacedly shrunk back into the sofa, hearing Jiang Ran’s footsteps gradually approach. Uw TPG

A weight suddenly fell on my body.

I unconsciously moved my shoulders. When I opened my eyes, I happened to lock gazes with him.

Jiang Ran seemed to give a start. The corners of his lips gently lifted in a small radian.

He was wearing a white dress shirt and a simple black tie. 0CE7N9

Then, he raised his hand to pull at the collar of his tie, loosening it by a few centimetres, and undid the first button.

The attractive curve of his adam’s apple and larynx extended down into his collar…

Goddamnit, why is he so handsome.

In a second of inattention, the paw I had supporting my body up on the sofa softened. I almost fell into his arms. Tr5UNx

Luckily, Jiang Ran had quick reflexes, catching me in time.

 

707

The cameraman was so excited that he started clapping. “Beautiful, what a perfect pair! I was scared that the two of you would be awkward looking into each other’s eyes, but I never expected that Teacher Mo would actually go the extra mile to send him a hug!” gp3VwZ

Har??

Hey cameraman, if you’ve the guts, I dare you to say that one more time!!

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708 OGldzV

Jiang Ran also heartlessly huffed out a laugh.

Incorrigible ass. It was only that my hand slipped, need you be so excited?

What’s so good about Jiang Ran?

How can I let him polish me clean?? t1rbkY

 

709

The next scene was the dog-patting part that I’m best at.

This time, the studio had arranged for a samoyed.

Ahhhh my smiling angel is the warmest!

I stroked its head in bliss. Jiang Ran turned over and started to take off his clothes, changing into sleepwear.

I suddenly remembered that he had a scar on his body. A5TFnN

It should have been concealed by makeup or something, right?

Else, he would surely feel uncomfortable having so many people staring at the thorn in his heart.

While I was mulling to myself, he had finished changing his clothes and was now walking towards me.

I lifted my head. U3FsVr

WTS!

Under the shifting clothes, the tight curve of his waist highlighted the contours of his abdominal muscles.

Chrysanthemum Garden.

Was this the legendary ‘skinny when clothed but ripped when stripped’ body type? I worried for him for nothing.

I was momentarily distracted. ou5vX8

Under my hand, the samoyed let out a howl.

Sorry doggie, Jiang Ran is really too mf-ing attractive.

 

710 IpCNFY

The Face-con Association doust great harm.

 

711

The final scene was of Jiang Ran walking to my room and helping me turn off the lights. dJKeRM

I quietly closed my eyes, but outside the window, the night was still brightly lit by an endless stream of traffic.

I even had an inner monologue here—

At the end of a long day, is the companionship of home.

Koel Menswear, creating the warmest home for the best you. qX2QDH

 

712

After we wrapped up, the cameraman let us watch the three rolls of footage.

The scene paused when it reached Jiang Ran and I hugging the dog with silly smiles on our faces. lbtsdp

The dog was silly and cute, and the two of us, hugging the dog, also smiled like fools.

It felt like something had prodded my heart.

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713 CzDF8K

Alright, I confess. This rousing copywriting also has its own unique charm.

I blame it all on the dog for being so cute.

 

714 Nuts3y

The filming for this advertisement took the entire day.

On the road back, I lazily nestled in the seat. Jiang Ran sat next to me.

“Are you tired?”

“Still okay.” Eqb3LS

I blinked, slight weariness colouring my voice.

“It’s a long journey, you can sleep for a while.” Jiang Ran got a blanket from the assistant to put over me. “Be good and rest at home for the next few days, okay? I’ve already booked the flight tickets to Germany. We’ll be leaving on Saturday.”

He’s honest-to-god really bringing me to Germany?

Before, I was still under the impression that it was a cliche Tyrannical CEO line that he had only said for fun. 5GNBIt

Under the moonlight, I surreptitiously gazed at the scar on my palm.

This wasn’t even his fault in the first place.

Drat. Now I owe him another favour.

But I (1) have no money (2) have no power, and (3) this stupid mouth of mine can’t say any sort of heaven-moving, earth-shaking words. dO1n3

After a long silence, I quietly spoke, “Thank you.”

 

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715

He didn’t respond to me. FnOrU0

I turned my head over and found that this idiot had already fallen asleep at some time ago.

I tossed the blanket over him instead.

 

716 BgH5aS

Pighead. When you take care of others, your tricks just keep flying off the bat.

But when it comes to yourself, you become such a dunce.

 


[Misc notes: Teacher, President] eksZop

Tq Keira and Ko-fi Supporter for the kofis (o) Or well. I’m assuming it’s for this anyway haha.

Translator's Note

目瞪口呆斗图表情包-表情wztkuat-爱斗图

Translator's Note

My heart, coos. yRak0l

Maya The Samoyed Tries Talking To Siri — InspireMore

Translator's Note

老师 (laoshi); an honorific for people respected in their fields, not only limited to those in mentoring or teaching positions. Likewise in fandom circles, default address is madam, but the addresses that I see occurring the most frequently after that is teacher and dada (somewhat similar to the Japanese –sama).

Translator's Note

总 (zong); technically, anyone with a higher position than you can be called zong. Would probably be more accurate to do it as Boss Jiang but honestly it just sounds weird tone wise to me, esp since it’s the honorific the fans use for him as well. President does suit his vibe and status here anyway.

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